Chasing Shadows (60 page)

“I have plenty of reasons to come
back
,” Sarah said, readying a list of the friends she had here. Then she sat bolt upright and gasped. “No! He didn’t! When? How?” She frowned, her expression suddenly severe. “Tell me he did it right, otherwise I’ll kick him in the seat meat and tell him to try again.”

Karen laughed at her serious expression. Tears of joy sent her emerald gaze swimming. “This morning.” She choked out a laugh and rolled her eyes. “And you know how Seth is.”

Sarah cringed. “Oh no—”

Karen quickly shook her head. “No, no. I mean, yes, he tripped twice as we walked through the field to watch the morning sun and stumbled over every word he spoke when he finally got up the courage.”

A wistful expression graced her face. Sarah had never seen her more beautiful than in that moment. “But it was perfect. The meaning behind the words, the look in his eyes. . . .”

Sarah’s lips had begun to tip in a smile at her friend’s words. “You’re getting married,” she breathed, unable to hide her joyous smile. Her heart ached a little at losing these special moments where it was just the two of them, but that feeling was quickly overshadowed by her excitement for her friend. “Have you two set a date yet?”

“Sometime in late spring.” Karen grinned at her, almost sheepishly. “I was hoping I could come and kidnap my maid of honor for the big day.”

Sarah felt her heart warm and nodded eagerly. “Of course! Just try to do your best to avoid midterms or finals.” She widened her eyes in mock-fear. “Might be a little difficult to explain my absence to my professors. You know, time travel and all.”

Karen laughed. “Will do, friend.”

Then they hashed out their plans for the future—past and present—in the silence of the barn and fell asleep with smiles on their faces. 

****

It was a heavy silence as she and Will strolled through the woods, both of their minds similarly occupied. He had come for her shortly after breakfast, receiving warm greetings from the five Joneses. Seth had pulled him aside for a moment as Sarah slipped on her cloak, and Will was grinning softly when he returned. 

Now Sarah bit her lip, indecisive, as her gaze wandered the white canopy of limbs stretching above their heads. The snow had stopped sometime during the night, and the sun was already shining brightly overhead through the fluffy clouds.

“You’re awfully quiet,” she observed softly to the sky.

“I could say the same about you.” She looked over, and Will was watching her intently. Dark circles rimmed his bloodshot eyes, and the bruises on his jaw and around his eye had turned a greenish-yellow color. Stubble lined his cheeks and jaw, shadowing the dark purple bruise she knew marred his chin.

Resisting the urge to scrub her thumb over the barely-there scruff, Sarah swallowed. “Is it over?” She didn’t need to elaborate; it was what had them both so silent.

Will sighed, mechanically scrubbing a hand over his jaw like she had wanted to do. He grimaced when he rubbed the bruise and dropped his hand. “Yes. My uncle informed me that Cadius and the alchemist were both executed this morning.” He stared at the ground and admitted softly. “Perhaps it was weakness, but I couldn’t bring myself to go. Neither could my uncle, though I suppose no one was in attendance, anyway.”

At the look of shame on his face, Sarah reached out to place her hand reassuringly on his back. Her chest swelled at the thought that he felt he could share his disgrace with her, that he trusted her enough to reveal something so personal.

His dark eyes registered surprise and pleasure at the easy touch.

“You shouldn’t be ashamed that you don’t enjoy the sight of death,” Sarah encouraged softly. “Valuing life isn’t a weakness or a flaw. I think it took courage to not go when your superiors view it as a celebration of justice.”

She grimaced at the term and dropped her hand. Although the execution had been more of a private affair, she imagined spectators calling out obscenities and demeaning remarks at hooded men as they walked to the noose. Justified or not, Sarah knew she could never observe such a crude execution of justice, let alone participate in and
relish
something so disturbing.

She shivered at her train of thought and added, “I admire you for standing up for yourself, even when it went against the tide.”

Eyes downcast, Will smiled. “Thank you.” He slanted her a guarded look. “How are you fairing?”

She knew what he was asking and lowered her gaze. Stepping around a fallen limb, she replied honestly, “I’m learning to deal. I just can’t seem to make up my mind whether to feel betrayed or sad or hurt or angry—at him or myself. It’s all very confusing.” Then she gave him a wry grin. “We girls are very good multi-taskers.”

Will didn’t make light of the situation. His hand fluttered in the air between them, as if to reach out and offer comfort. Then it relaxed against his side. “I’m sorry.”

Dipping her head, she whispered a quick “Thanks.” 

He inhaled deeply and let it out in a rush. “Sarah, there is something—” He halted and seemed to be fighting within himself. With a grimace of dissatisfaction, he reached into his cloak and produced a small, crumpled piece of paper.

“What is it?”

Will frowned at the malformed parchment and tried to pull the corners straight. “It
was
a missive, but I believe I held it a little too tightly.” He met her eyes. “Lisandro asked for me to give it to you.”

Her shoulders drooped in surprise, heart sinking as she slowed to a stop. Will watched her reaction. “I thought about not following through with the cad’s request because I didn’t wish to see that look on your face. But it rightfully belongs to you.”

Cautiously, Sarah took the letter with trembling fingers, staring at it in her hands. “What does it say?” she whispered, voice catching.

“I don’t know.”

Her eyes bore into the thin, wrinkled parchment as though she could decipher the words within. Then she stuffed the letter into the fold of her sleeve.

Will raised a brow. “You aren’t going to read it?”

“I’m not sure I’m ready for whatever he had to say,” she answered truthfully, then sighed. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready.”

He nodded in understanding, and they began moving slowly through the snow again. Sensing her unease, Will said with more cheer than the topic required, “So, Cadius has been revealed to be the mastermind in orchestrating the king’s demise, and every last one of his accomplices has been apprehended. And my parents’ murderer is dead.” He sounded reconciled to the fact, though Sarah knew he would never be pleased with the result. “It’s difficult to believe that it’s truly finished.”

She watched his face, heart softening at the lost look on his handsome, albeit bruised, features. “Do you think you’ll ever be able to prove that Gabriel did it?” She hesitated and then asked softly, “Can you live with
not
knowing?”

Will’s brow furrowed in contemplation as he searched his heart. Finally, he sighed. “I honestly can’t say. I suppose I must live with it, but I know the desire to prove his guilt and avenge my parents will always be there, just under the surface.”

She nodded in understanding. Just because something came to an end didn’t mean that the result was satisfactory.

Sarah ducked under a low-hanging branch and teasingly poked him in the arm with her elbow, though her tone was serious when she spoke. “So what will the great Will Taylor do with his time now that the Shadow’s vendetta is complete?”

His dark eyes moved from the path ahead and landed on her face. He stopped, and the slow, tender smile lit a spark inside Sarah’s chest, warming her cheeks. She didn’t think she would ever get used to
that
look from the closed-off Will she’d known.

He touched his fingertips to the back of her stiff hand, a whisper against her skin, and leaned down until he was a breath away. “I have some ideas,” he murmured. Then he brushed his lips against hers, a soft caress that caused Sarah’s toes to tingle.

Will pulled back, his intent gaze darkening as he grinned. “Somehow, I don’t think a little free time will be a bother.”

Laughing breathlessly, Sarah turned and continued on down the path. “We need to get you a better hobby,” she called playfully over her shoulder.

He caught up to her in a few long strides, and she knew without looking that he was still grinning. “I’m rather fond of my hobby.”

She rolled her eyes, though she felt a little spark of pleasure trail up her spine.

They lapsed into comfortable silence, then, the heaviness from earlier lifting after their conversation. Sarah tipped her face to the sky, closing her lids and smiling as the sun washed her face in warmth. She would miss the feel of the sun shining brightly amidst the cool winter wind, the sound of total silence in the woods, the smell of the earth and the evergreens amidst the scent of freshly fallen snow. It would be a change when she returned home to a hot and humid August in Oklahoma, but for now she just wanted to enjoy the feeling of this December moment.

A hand slid into hers, and she blinked, looking over at Will. He smiled knowingly, eyes tender. Her own lips curved upward. She sensed it meant a lot to him that she loved and connected to this land like he did.

Will gave her fingers a gentle pulse. “It makes you feel special, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” For reasons he couldn’t understand. She had been marveling at God’s amazing creation, but she wasn’t sure if he would attribute the sights surrounding them to a God he didn’t call his own.

He lifted her hand as they strolled and stared at her palm, as if in great contemplation.

“What?” she asked.

Will shook his head and said softly, “I was just marveling at how small your hands are.” At her quizzical look, he smiled and lowered their clasped hands. “Just something I was told.”

They had been wandering for over an hour by the time they decided to head back to the Joneses’.

“This is nice,” Will said as they lazily walked along the snowy path, gently swinging their hands between them. Sarah nodded in agreement, though for her it wasn’t enough time. She sighed quietly.
Never enough time.
And she had put it off for long enough.

“I’m going home soon.” She cringed at how cavalier she sounded. No segue.

Will looked down at her sharply. “Oh.” He swallowed. “Of course. Umm, when were you planning to leave?”

“Tonight,” she whispered.

His lips parted ever so slightly in an expression of discontent, but his face remained passive. “So soon,” he whispered. Then he nodded slowly as if he understood, and it was obvious to Sarah that he was trying to be accepting. For her.

She dragged in a breath of the crisp air, though it didn’t smell quite as perfect as it had before. Maybe she was already losing her connection to this place. The thought saddened her. “I’ve been gone for awhile and need to head back, but I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye this time.”

Will halted and used his free hand to finger a strand of her hair, staring at it intently as though it could unlock the key to their separation. “I’m glad you told me.” He met her eyes and asked hopefully, “When will you come back?”

That was the difficult part. She swallowed. As if on cue, she caught the faint, joyous shouts drifting on the breeze toward them—Seth and Karen must have shared the big news.

Taking a breath, Sarah hedged, “Well, I’ll be coming back for the wedding.”

Will looked vaguely amused as he caught wind of the celebration. “Yes, Seth told me—” The lock of hair slipped from his numb fingers. “He said they were considering spring.”

Sarah nodded grimly.

“Four or five months,” Will whispered, looking pained.

“It’s not so bad. We’ve done it before.” Well, he had done it before. She had only made it two weeks. Sarah frowned. She hadn’t exactly calculated the time difference into her plan, but she hoped it would only be mere weeks before Karen showed up on her doorstep again.

Will’s chest shuddered as he inhaled deeply. “All right. If you must leave for now, then I can’t stop you.” He shook his head with more fervor than she had expected. “But do not think I am letting go. Perhaps I can travel back with you someday to meet your family.”

She smiled at his hopeful words, though it faded quickly as she remembered how impossible that was. “You know, when I come back . . .” Her voice drifted off, eyes searching his face in shy uncertainty. “Where will we stand? We’ve never really defined”—she motioned between the two of them—“
this.
”

He stopped, looking liked the thought had never crossed his mind. Then he smiled softly. “I assumed it was obvious that I have a long-term goal in mind.” Stepping closer, he said lowly, “Sarah Matthews—Lady Fair—I have some very long-term goals in mind for us.”

It warmed her insides to know he had given this some thought—a
lot
of thought—and she felt a grin of surprise twitch at the corner of her mouth before she remembered that it wasn’t that easy. “We’re just so different. Do you really think we can make this work?” Why was she trying to dissuade him?