Chasing the Phoenix (10 page)

“Don't you worry your doggy head about it,” Fire Orchid said. “I'll take care of everything.”

 

5.

The Eternal Showman was known to observe that no battle was ever lost by underestimating the intelligence of the foe.

—
THE
SAYINGS OF THE
PERFECT
STRATEGIST

DARGER WAS
covering a sheet of foolscap with meaningless mathematical symbols when he heard a great din outside his tent. Unhurriedly, he poured sand over the fresh ink and blew it away. Then he went outside to see what was the matter.

There he discovered that the entire camp had been thrown into an uproar by the arrival of Surplus at the head of a colorful company of rangers, all riding mountain horses. A woman whose long red hair flowed freely behind her like an ever-changing flame rode at the Dog Warrior's side, with a giant of a man directly behind them. Swiftly and more smoothly than cavalry riding natural horses could have managed, they flowed between the tents, leaping over campfires and startled wagoners, drawing astonished soldiers into gaping crowds in their wake. Direct to Darger they rode, pulling up in a milling mass before him.

“Well, well, well,” Darger said. “What have you found?”

“Noble souls and bold fighters,” Surplus cried, “who wish nothing more than to serve the Hidden King!” This raised a loud enough cheer from those nearby that he was able to lean forward and without being overheard add, “A crew who know what the deal is, including several pickpockets, two lockpicks, a counterfeiter, a stable woman qualified in the care of mountain horses, a thimble rigger, a puppeteer, a quick-sketch artist, and a first-rate goon. Also, apparently, a fiancée.”

Darger cocked an eyebrow. “Should I congratulate you?”

“God only knows,” Surplus said. “I certainly don't.”

The new company's moment of glory was eclipsed, however, mere hours later when Prince First-Born Splendor returned from Gold, the capital of Southern Gate, at the head of two hundred cavalrymen. Though the force was small, the suddenness of its arrival, combined with the unexpected materialization of some twenty of the coveted mountain horses, caused an irrational sense of elation to spread through the camp.

The prince of Southern Gate paused at Darger's tent to salute him with a free and gracious familiarity. Then he rode on, through the cheers of the onlookers.

“Listen to them,” Darger said gloomily. “The war is as good as won and they will be home in two weeks, covered with glory and never to go adventuring again—or so they think.” Capable Servant had set up umbrellas and folding chairs before his master's tent and was now serving tea to Surplus, his red-haired second-in-command, and Darger. Vicious Brute was off negotiating with the quartermaster general for tents, weapons, and other provisions for the new recruits.

Fire Orchid drained her cup in a single gulp and held it out for more. “They forget that war is not just a bad thing. It is also an excellent opportunity to make money.” Surplus grinned, and Darger nodded in involuntary approval. “So long as we keep our wits about us, don't get distracted by the chance to nab small profits, and have a long-term plan.” She leaned forward. “What is our long-term plan?”

“Well—”

At which inopportune moment, the messenger Darger had long anticipated arrived to announce that he was summoned to the Hidden King's side. Where he had been expecting a minor functionary, however, the news came in the form of no less a personage than Cao White Squall galloping up on a sturdy mare and pulling it short at the last possible instant, so that clods of dirt went flying. “Irresponsible idler! Our troops die by the hundreds and yet you do nothing. The Hidden King demands to know what you are up to!”

There was no denying that the cao looked fetching in armor. The helmet shadowed her face, and within that shadow her eyes flashed like those of a wildcat peering from the depths of a tree, where it waited to ambush unwary prey. “Up to?” Darger said. “I spent the morning observing Ceo Powerful Locomotive's employment of forces. Then I updated my mathematical analysis of the dynamic forces of the war. Now I am interviewing the leaders of the Dog Warrior's newly created irregulars, to see how to best incorporate them into my plans.”

“As I suspected, you are doing nothing. You will come with me immediately.”

Fire Orchid studied White Squall, her face as unreadable as a blank sheet of paper. Darger could not help but approve of her self-control.

“I shall gather up my papers,” Darger said.

*   *   *

THE HIDDEN
King was quartered in a palatial mansion to which the High Lord Hereditary Bureaucrat of Bronze habitually retreated, along with his concubines and catamites, to avoid the summer heat. Its caretakers had abandoned it on the approach of the Abundant Kingdom's armies for the manor lay beyond the point where the Mountain Horses fortifications were to be built.

The summer palace was well guarded but still less than ideal for protecting a monarch whose death (it must surely have occurred to the enemy) would put an immediate end to the war. But Darger had observed that for all his personal quirks the Hidden King was not without physical courage.

At the entrance, Darger and White Squall were met by Ceo Powerful Locomotive, fresh from the battlefield and stinking of sweat and defeat. “It is the archaeologist who can find nothing worth digging up and the advisor who will not advise,” he grumbled. “How pleasant.”

For the past week, whenever called upon to voice his opinion, Darger had merely smiled, shaken his head, and replied, “Things progress as they must. All will work out in the end.” Now he said, “You should be grateful for my restraint. Many lesser advisors, mistaking your temporary setbacks for incompetence, have been speaking against you to the Hidden King. I, meanwhile, have merely urged him to wait and see.”

“You have not interfered with my work at all,” Ceo Powerful Locomotive admitted. “I find that most suspicious.”

Two guards materialized, bowed, and gestured for them to follow. As they walked, Darger said, “The incompetent man issues many orders so that he may look decisive, overrules subordinates in order to appear powerful, contradicts himself frequently so that no one dares act without his presence, spreads chaos and confusion so that others will be forced to look to him for alleviation of their misery. I am sure that you have dealt with his like in the past. I am not that man. My model is the ancient emperor who never issued a single order but nevertheless, by skillfully avoiding all bad decisions, deftly steered the state into an era of perfect prosperity.”

“I have never heard of such an emperor and strongly suspect—” the ceo began. Then, with a visible effort, he forced himself to cease chasing after this side issue. “Never mind your glib evasions and excuses! Each of you has failed me. Your
toys,
” he said to White Squall, “give me no advantage, while his
advice
is nonexistent.”

Darger drew himself up. “Is that what you were expecting from me? A handful of words that will turn the military situation on its head; overthrow the Mountain Horses army, which has fought you to a standstill; and, without the loss of a single life, seize the wealth and territory of a nation and win the loyalty of its people in one dazzling, brilliant trick?”

Cao Powerful Locomotive turned red and his brow grew heavy, so that he looked a very demon. But before he could frame a retort, Darger said, “Then you shall have what you desire. Take a deep breath, for we appear to have come to the Hidden King's chamber, where a cool head is necessary.”

Guards opened the door for them and they passed within.

*   *   *

THERE WERE
three empty seats near the top of the conference table, which the newcomers took, while somewhere between a dozen and twenty advisors studied them with inscrutable expressions. None of these lesser men and women mattered. Everyone knew that the opinions of Powerful Locomotive and White Squall outweighed all others save only that of their king. The ceo's power, of course, came from his being the supreme head of the military. But Darger had no idea why the Hidden King took White Squall as seriously as he did. Far more seriously, indeed, than her provision of exotic weapons alone could explain.

At the top of the table sat the Hidden King. He did not quite slump, but he was clearly depressed. Scarves were wrapped around his lower and upper face, so that only his eyes showed—or would have, had he not been wearing dark glasses through which they could not be seen.

“So,” the Hidden King said.

A long silence spread itself across the table.

“Nothing to say? No? Then I will say it: We have brought all our forces to a pass where we are contained like wine in a bottle. It is impossible to go forward and disastrous to retreat.” He addressed Powerful Locomotive directly: “Will you resign?”

The ceo looked stricken. “I—”

“That is not necessary, great monarch.” Darger stood, drawing all eyes to himself. “All that has happened so far, though looking like defeat, was necessary in order to achieve victory. Ceo Powerful Locomotive is as able a general as exists in the world today, yet he could not break through the Mountain Horses line. The weapons provided by Cao White Squall are the terror of the world, yet they could not destroy the enemy's resolve. Together, these facts have made our foes complacent and easy to defeat.”

“Tell me,” the Hidden King said, “that there is more to your advice than cheap oxymorons.”

Darger opened his leather attaché and, one by one, slid out thirty sheets of foolscap, each painstakingly covered with a dazzling babel of invented symbols. “Here you see my calculations proving this exact point, made in a science of my own invention, which I call psychopolemology. It combines the rigor of higher mathematics, the insights of sociology and applied psychology, and the deep wisdoms of philosophy, as applied to the human chessboard of the battlefield.”

There was a brief pause. Then the Hidden King said, “Explain.”

“The time has come to employ the Russian Bridge stratagem. So much is mathematically certain. However—” Darger held up one of the papers and tapped a line of gibberish meaningfully. “In order for it to work, it cannot be known by more than four people.”

“Everyone leave. Save for the three of you.”

Reproachful in their silence and in the offended dignity of their obedience, the other advisors left. When they were alone, the Hidden King took off his dark glasses and slowly unwrapped his scarves, revealing the face of a spoiled boy grown into pampered manhood. Darger hardened himself not to display his shock at so dangerous a show of favor. But the king only said, “What do all these”—he waved a weary hand at the sprawl of parchment sheets—“scribbles mean?”

Darger proceeded to explicate, at great length. By mid-explanation, his auditors were all looking a little glazed.

“I should like,” Ceo Powerful Locomotive said, when he was done, “to hear that one more time.”

“As you wish. Do you require it word for word again, or should it be paraphrased?”

“Paraphrase!” Cao White Squall exclaimed. Then, looking embarrassed, “If you don't mind.”

“Simply put, these equations indicate that I can end the stalemate, deliver us from Battlefield Pass, and seize all of the Land of the Mountain Horses with a handful of soldiers, a wagon, half a dozen barrels of water, some signal rockets, a single gold coin, and enough white cloth to make a flag of parley.”

“Go on,” the king said.

“The ancient Russian Master of War and Harmony described this stratagem in one of his immortal histories,” Darger began. He proceeded to explain his plan to a stone-faced audience. Bit by bit, his words won over at least two of them. It was as good a performance as he had put on since leaving Muscovy. By the time he was done, both Ceo Powerful Locomotive and Cao White Squall, tough audiences though they could be, were smiling and nodding. The king, however, showed not the least sign of enthusiasm for the plan. He looked, though it hardly seemed possible, bored.

“Very well,” the Hidden King said, almost lifelessly. “Requisition your needs and put your scheme into effect.” Turning away, he said, “White Squall.”

“Yes, sire?”

“I have been patient,” he said. “Where is my bride?” Without warning, his voice rose into a howl. “When will I see her at last?”

“Soon, Great Monarch, soon! Patience. If she is not waiting for us in Peace, we shall at least discover where she is to be found.”

“I am bereft of hope.”

“Not for long.”

“I begin to think she is not to be found.”

“You must have faith, Majesty. A thousand clues we have uncovered. Only a few more and she is yours.”

The meeting went on in this vein for some time. When it was over, White Squall refused to share its significance with either Darger or Powerful Locomotive.

*   *   *

AS BEFIT
a sage of unfathomable humility, Darger went to the negotiations in a simple wooden wagon, which he drove himself. As befit a representative of the Hidden King, he was accompanied by twenty of the finest soldiers that Ceo Powerful Locomotive could provide—enough to put on a good appearance, but not so many as would cause the enemy alarm. In addition, Fire Orchid's niece Little Spider, the youngest of Surplus's ranger troop, sat beside him with her sketchbook open in her lap. They came to the central gate in the enemy's pressed-earth ramparts, where heavy oak doors swung wide and an officer identifying himself as Colonel Glorious Legend demanded to know their business.

In silence, Darger studied the colonel for so long that his subject grew visibly uneasy. A cold read told him that the fellow was young, untried, privileged, full of himself, and insecure—in short, a toy soldier. A fool.