Read Chasing the Phoenix Online
Authors: Michael Swanwick
“It has been said that their soldiers fight like rabid rats. The question is, can a sane soldier with good morale defeat his weight in rabid rats? The answer remains to be seen. The only bright spot,” Darger concluded, “is that Cao White Squall has been summoned to the Hidden Emperor's side. From which we can deduce two things: that the emperor did indeed come with the ocean fleet, as was commonly bruited about, and that we shall soon have clear orders what to do next.”
White Squall appeared in the doorway.
She looked stricken.
“I have taken advantage of you for my own private purposes. Too late, I realize that this was improper. Consequently, I'm sure you think me an opportunist and a woman without honor,” White Squall said. “But I keep my promises. You once asked for a day's warning before the phoenix device was activated. I am giving it to you now. The Hidden Emperor has ordered me to prepare it for what he calls their wedding. I am about to put my people to work on the task. By this time tomorrow, the most destructive weapon our age has ever known will be ready for use.”
For a long moment, no one spoke. Then â¦
“I suspect it's useless to point this out,” Surplus said. “But you don't
have
to fix the device, you know.”
“An order is an order. Besides, I swore an oath.” Irritably, then, White Squall said, “Yes, yes, I know. To you an oath is merely words and nothing more. But I am not you and never can be you. I must be true to my duty.” She started to leave, then stopped. “Oh, and you got me so emotional that I almost forgot. The Hidden Emperor wants to see both of you. Immediately. His servants wait outside.”
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
DARGER AND
Surplus were taken by the usual convoluted and needlessly recomplicated route to the Hidden Emperor. As much to amuse himself as out of simple prudence, Surplus constructed a mental map of their route as they went, created in part by counting strides and memorizing turns and in greater part by keeping close track of smells: Forty paces down the Street of Spices they went, turning right at its end and passing by several bookstores and a harness shop, then down to the river and across a stone bridge that spanned the mouth of a stream where a knacker's yard emptied its wastes, uphill again past chair-makers who were soaking cane and shaving cedar spindles, then sharply left into and sixty paces down a residential street fragrant with hibiscus flowers.⦠All told, the farcical journey took up most of an hour.
At last they were brought indoors, unblindfolded, and ushered into a small sitting room. It contained three easy chairs, on one of which sat the Hidden Emperor. His head was swathed in dark veiling and nothing more. Its featureless face turned to greet them.
“Move that coffee table over here. Then sit,” the emperor said. “We have matters of import to discuss.”
“We thank you for the honor,” Darger said. “But it is hardly right for us to sit in your presence, Exalted Majesty.”
“Sit or I will kill you both.” Alarmingly, the Hidden Emperor giggled. “I could do that, you know. I could kill you in an instant.” He snapped his fingers. “Like that! I have weapons you know nothing about.”
“So I have long suspected,” Darger said, easing down onto a chair. “Given the dangers endemic to your chosen profession, it never does to underestimate a living ruler.”
“Enough of that.” The Hidden Emperor spread out a map of the city of North and its environs. On it, two concentric circles had been drawn, focused on a point to the south of the city. The outermost circle contained all of North and the Forbidden City within it. The innermost one encompassed half of the palace complex, including the Hall of Supreme Harmony, which held the Dragon Throne. Both the hall and the throne were plainly marked on the map. “White Squall's people drew this up for me. The larger circle shows the zone in which everything will be effectively destroyed. The smaller indicates where total incineration will take place. As you can see, it is not necessary for me to actually enter the city to fulfill my destiny.”
Surplus nodded to show he was listening. Darger cleared his throat in an attentive way.
“You may not know this, dear ones, but you are my favorites, my sweets, my pets. Oh, you have been wayward at times. On occasion, I thought of having you put down. But where others were more punctilious in their obedience, it was you who served me best. That is why I most especially want you at my side when I transcend this human body.”
“May that day be long in coming,” Surplus said.
“Very long indeed,” Darger added.
The Hidden Emperor put the tip of his forefinger on the epicenter of the two circles. “Tomorrow,” he said, “the Canal Army will join the Sea Army on the plains below North. All my power will then be manifest. What better time for the Phoenix Bride and me to be united in alchemical marriage?”
Lesser souls would have hesitated an instant, thus betraying their true thoughts. But Darger and Surplus immediately broke into spontaneous cries of delight.
“My profoundest congratulations, Majesty!” Surplus said.
“In the words of the People of the Book: Mazel tov!” cried Darger. “Only ⦠tomorrow? Surely you want to be recognized as the emperor first.”
“A ceremony is but a ceremony. All that is needed is for my love for the Phoenix Bride to be consummated. The same fires that incinerate me will incinerate the Dragon Throne. Our atoms will be mingled with those of the Phoenix Bride. As well as yours, my dears. As well as yours. For from this searing, incandescent union, I will rise again as a god, incorporating my genius, my wife's strength, and other virtues from each of my slaves and officers. Your strategic powers, Perfect Strategist. Your daring, Dog Warrior. I will unite all the male and female virtues in one perfect androgynous, sexless self, and you shall be a small fraction of my glory.”
Outwardly calm but inwardly aghast, Surplus heard Darger say with glib plausibility, “You would not wish to consummate your marriage with the Phoenix Bride without first having a royal wedding. These things mean so much to women!”
The emperor stared at him. “The Phoenix Bride is not a woman but a thermonuclear device. A bomb. It is inanimate and insensate, and thus incapable of desiring anything. How is it possible that you do not know this simple fact?”
“I ⦠well, to be honest⦔
All of the Hidden Emperor's ebullience disappeared in an instant. Angrily, he said, “No one truly understands me. Even you, who are so clever, don't know the first thing about me.”
“We know that you are a man of destiny,” Darger said.
The Hidden Emperor made an exasperated noise.
“A cat may look at a monarch,” Surplus said. “But that does not mean that the two will understand one another. Majesty, the gulf of greatness that exists between you and us cannot be bridged. But from the far side of that gulf we can witness your magnificence, and from your side you can receive our admiration.”
The emperor glowered. And then he laughed. “You two are such delightfully transparent rogues,” he said. Gesturing Darger and Surplus closer, he placed his head so near theirs that all three almost touched. “I can read your thoughts. But it is useless for you to try to escape. I have surrounded the city with guards, and your names are on a list of those who are not to be allowed to leave. Oh, be happy for me! I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl about to be deflowered. I hardly know what I'm saying.”
The Hidden Emperor stood, and Darger and Surplus hastily followed suit. “It is time for you to leave me with my thoughts and anticipations. Tonight you may celebrate. Do not drink too much! You would not want to go into eternity with a hangover.”
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
SURPLUS'S MOOD
that evening was as somber as the temple was bright. At Darger's direction, Capable Servant had strung colored lanterns on the eaves and placed candles everywhere within. These gave the place an overheated, festive air that made it look like they had nothing to hide and everything to celebrate. As befit so profound an occasion, they did not invite guests to dilute the festivities but mimed a tipsy joyousness by themselves. Their shadows danced on the walls. The windows had all been thrown open. From outside, they would be clearly visible in silhouette. If there were spies, their reports would make the emperor happy.
Capable Servant filled two wineglasses with water, which he carefully poured from a recently emptied magnum of champagne. Surplus lifted his glass high. “To the Hidden Emperor!” he cried.
“And to his Phoenix Bride!” Darger toasted back.
As they pretended to drink, Surplus quietly said, “The Hidden Emperor is mad. On this we are both agreed. The phoenix device is unspeakably destructive, and to use it would be a crime against humanityâso say the ancient texts, and I am inclined to agree with them. It is a certainty that tomorrow's wedding plans will end in a holocaust unseen since the Utopian era. Connect the dots, and there is only one possible course of action.”
“Are you suggesting⦔ Darger paused, though whether out of moral reticence or simply to build up suspense, it was possible that not even he knew. “Murder?”
“Murder is the very last act that a gentleman should commit,” Surplus said. “But you'll note that it
is
on the list.”
Capable Servant crouched at their feet, listening, eyes wide, as if to a ghost story.
Darger clumsily refilled his glass, spilling a few drops in the process, as if he were already a little woozy. “This is all academic. The Hidden King keeps his whereabouts unknown in order to prevent exactly the sort of action you are contemplating. We simply have no idea where he is.”
“On the contrary. I can quite easily find him. All that hugger-mugger with blindfolds and elaborate backtracking might fool one who was merely human. But I have the superior sensory apparatus of a dog. Locating him is the least of our difficulties. However,” Surplus said, “the challenge lies not in the doing, but in the survival of it. If history teaches us anything, it's that regicides rarely fare well.”
Darger took a deep breath. “Suppose he did not die.”
“What do you mean?” Surplus asked.
“Only a handful of people know what the Hidden Emperor's face looks like.”
“Many know his voice.”
“A voice can be counterfeited. There must be many people who could do a perfectly passible imitation of the Hidden Emperor.”
“Oh! Sirs!” Capable Servant said. “I can do voices!” And in an eerily familiar voiceâhigh-pitched, petulant, almost girlishâhe added, “I do a very good impersonation of the emperor.”
Surplus and Darger looked at one another.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
SURPLUS WOUND
his way through a labyrinth of sound, of touch, and above all of scent. When he smelled anise, fennel, cinnamon, clove, ginger, and lemongrass, he growled, “We go down this street and turn right at its end.”
He clutched an empty wine bottle in one paw, which he periodically raised to his mouth or eye, as if puzzled by its obstinate refusal to refill itself. Following a half-stumble behind, Darger occasionally slapped a hand on Surplus's shoulder to steady himself. There were a great many sailors on shore leave that night, so they attracted no particular attention.
They passed by several closed bookshops and a silent harness maker's. “Now down to the river.”
“What a stench!” Darger said when they passed over the bridge by the knackery. “I vividly remember going by here.”
“Imagine what it would smell like if the river weren't convenient to carry away the rotting meat discarded into the creek. Now ⦠not this street ⦠not this one ⦠Ah! Smell the cedar shavings? Up this way.”
They were walking along Hibiscus Street when a man ran up and thrust a lantern in their faces.
“Prince First-Born Splendor!” Surplus cried in amazement. “Whatever are you doing here?”
“I have been looking for you,” the prince replied.
“You have found us,” Darger said, “but at the worst possible time. We are on important business and cannot stay to chat.” Matching action to words, he strode onward.
But the prince hurried to place himself in front of them again. “White Squall saysâ”
“She has been talking to you?” Surplus said. Seeing that the man would not be easily shed, he put an arm over First-Born Splendor's shoulder. Darger, meanwhile, took a princely arm in his own. They then lurched onward, and in their company the prince looked every bit as drunk as they were pretending to be. “Why, then you know what's coming. If you are a religious man, there are prayers to be said. If not, this would be an excellent time to settle old grudges. Or, if you are able to transcend such petty matters, there is White Squall to be consoled. In any case, you have a full schedule ahead of you and need not bother with us.”
The two rogues uncoupled from the prince then and attempted to leave him behind. But he came running after them.
“I must do something!”
“Yes,” Surplus said. “I have already laid out an itinerary for you.”
“No! I meanâ” Prince First-Born Splendor seized them both and, lowering his voice to a near whisper, said, “The Hidden Emperor must die.”
“Oh, dear,” Surplus said in dismay.
“Please tell me you did not share this sentiment with White Squall,” Darger said.
Indignantly, the prince said, “Give me some credit for understanding the woman I love. She would have gone immediately to the Hidden Emperor if I had. No, I said nothing. I simply turned and left her in order to seek you out. It was the most difficult act of my life, for it clearly broke her heart. But I did it in order to privately save her life. And everyone else's, of course.”
“You'd best come along, then,” Darger sighed. “It'll be easier than explaining.”
“Just to be clear,” Surplus added, “we'll take responsibility for the Hidden Emperor. It will be your job to slay any servants who get in the way. As a nobleman, you'll be less bothered by the necessity than we would.”