Chastity (17 page)

    Chastity did not raise her head or look in his direction. They had not exchanged a word since he had dumped her under the wagon's canvas roof hours earlier. He had been uncertain what his reception would be when he entered the wagon, but he had not expected to see her as she was now. Curled up tightly against the wooden side of the wagon, she made no move to turn toward him.
Neither the coverlet drawn up over her shoulders nor the shadows of the darkened wagon concealed her shuddering or
the hands she held clamped tightly over her ears.

    Anger flared. She was behaving like a child!

    Anger faded. No, it was more than that. Something was dreadfully wrong.

    A shattering boom crashed suddenly overhead. The lightning flash that followed lit the interior of the wagon with the brightness of day, and Chastity gasped aloud. Unable to bear her distress a moment longer, Reed cursed softly,
then
slid down on the pallet beside her. He grasped her shoulders and turned her toward him, frowning at the realization that her dress was still damp from that afternoon's soaking.

    The ashen pallor of her face tightened the knot inside him as Reed rasped, "I've had enough of this, Chastity. I know it isn't only the storm that's frightening you. It's something else. Tell me what it is. I need to know."

    Chastity shook her head, her gaze frantic. "No."

    "Tell me, Chastity."

    Chastity shook her head, panic visibly rising. "I can't! I won't!" Suddenly struggling, Chastity shoved hard, attempting to break his hold. "Let me go! I want to get out of here!"

    "Stop this, Chastity!" Regretting the force necessary to suppress her struggles, Reed rasped, "There's no place to run in this storm!"

    "Let me go! I have to get out of here!"

    "No, you don't. Chastity,
please
…"

    Chastity's struggles abruptly ceased. Still shuddering, she looked up at him as he appealed softly, "I want to help you, Chastity. Please, tell me what's wrong."

    Chastity's shaken gaze searched his. He felt the panic that lingered in her. He suffered her pain. He waited with anxious expectation as her lips moved soundlessly before a whisper emerged.

    "I thought I wanted to remember what happened that day, but I don't. It's too hard remembering."

    Chastity turned away from him, and Reed demanded softly, "Tell me, Chastity."

    "No. It happened a long time ago."

    "Tell me."

    Pallid, Chastity turned back toward him abruptly. "My parents are dead! I was never
more sure
of that than I am now." She swallowed against welling tears. "We were traveling in a wagon just like this one, and it was storming, just like it is now. The thunder and lightning wouldn't stop. My sisters and I were sick, but Honesty wouldn't let us cry. My father wanted to get our wagon across the river so he could find a doctor. The river was flooded, but he told us not to be afraid. We were halfway across the river when we heard the sound. It was so loud! Honesty sat up. She screamed when she saw it
coming
that monstrous wall of water rolling down the river toward us! My mother saw it, too. She scrambled into the back of the wagon. She was trying to reach us when the water struck!"

    Chastity was sobbing freely, her face pressed against his chest as she rasped, "The water… it tumbled the wagon. The sounds of creaking and splintering wood… the roar when the wagon went under. I heard Honesty and Purity scream, but I couldn't make a sound! The water sucked me down. It filled my nose and my mouth. I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. I couldn't breathe!"

    Clutching her close, Reed rocked Chastity gently. Uncertain of the words he spoke, he whispered consolingly against the bright hair under his cheek, breathing deeply of the scent of roses rising from it as her shuddering slowly lessened. He waited for her to regain control before he questioned, "No trace of your parents or sisters was ever found?"

    "No."

    Reed stroked back the fiery wisps from Chastity's face. Her skin was blotchy from tears, and   her eyelids were red, but the intensity of her belief was not compromised by her emotion as she continued, "Everyone said the rest of my family drowned that day, but I know Honesty and Purity survived."

    Taking his hand unexpectedly in hers, Chastity closed it around her locket. Her gaze holding his intently, she whispered, "I know my sisters are alive, and I know they're wearing the lockets my father gave them, just as I am, Reed. I know, because I can feel their hearts beating when I hold mine. You can feel it, too, can't you? The heartbeats are strong and steady, just as they've always been. They're waiting for me to find them somewhere out here. I'm sure of it."

    Her eyes were so earnest and filled with hope.

    "What does your banker in Caldwell say about this?"

    "He's going to help me find them."

    "Did he tell you that?"

    "Not exactly…"

    Reed's stomach clenched.

    "I
haven't
asked him yet, but Emily said he'd help me whenever I decided I was ready to start searching."

    "Emily..?"

    
"His wife.
She died."

    "Oh." He hesitated. "What if he won't… or
can't
help you?"

    "Then I'll find them myself."

    The knot within him constricted.
"How?"

    "I don't know how. I just know that I will."

    Reed clenched the locket tighter. He wanted to tell Chastity that he felt her sisters' heartbeats but he didn't. He wanted to believe just as strongly that Chastity's sisters were alive but he couldn't. He wanted to tell her that she had not traveled all this way just to see her dreams crumble into dust but he knew she had.

    The only heartbeat he felt was Chastity's. It pounded against his chest, echoing the drumming of his own heart as he looked down into her sober gaze.

    Blotchy skin that he longed to taste with his lips… reddened lids that he yearned to soothe with his touch…
trembling
lips that he hungered to still with his kiss… He wanted to console Chastity as he had never wanted anything before. He wanted to hold her tightly against him, her flesh against his. He wanted to breathe her in, to consume her, to make her a part of him and drive all the fears and insecurities from her mind. He wanted her so completely that he

    The locket's warm gold seemed suddenly to sear his skin, and Reed released it abruptly.

    Forcibly striking all other thoughts from his mind, he whispered, "That nightmare's over and past, Chastity. The storm that's raining down on us now will end soon. There aren't any flooded rivers for us to cross, and you don't have to be afraid of tomorrow."

    Chastity looked up at him in silence.

    "The sun will shine tomorrow. Don't be afraid."

    Chastity took in a shuddering breath. "I'm going to find my sisters." She held his gaze a moment longer, whispering as her eyes fluttered closed, "I'm not afraid anymore."

    Reed drew her closer, the bittersweet pain of the moment acute. She wasn't afraid anymore.

    Reed settled Chastity in his arms.

    In some ways, he almost wished she was.

    
The whirlpool of surging rapids and pounding debris dragged her relentlessly downward. She was sinking deeper.

    
"Mama!"

    
"Your mama's not here, little dear, but you needn't be frightened. You're not alone."

    
She heard the high-pitched voice, but she could not open her eyes.

    
"We found her lying by the river, doctor. We were so frightened. We thought she wasn't breathing! Poor child, she's so small and helpless… so alone. Do you suppose she can hear me?"

    
"How would the doctor know that, Penelope?"

    
"On the contrary, Miss Lawrence," A deep voice responded. "I believe the child can hear you."

    
"See, I told you, Harriet!"

    
"You never miss an opportunity to say, 'I told you so.'"

    
"That isn't true!"

    
"Isn't it?"

    
"Ladies, please!"

    
The high-pitched voices continued their indignant exchange and fear suddenly swelled within her. She called out weakly, "Honesty… Purity…"

    
A gasp.

    
"Do something, doctor!" The anger in the high-pitched tone changed to anxiety. "The child is rambling! She's naming the virtues! Do you suppose she's
dy
"

    
"Miss Lawrence, if you can't control yourself, I will ask you to leave!"

    
Silence.

    
The tone of the deep voice grew coaxing. "Will you open your eyes, dear? You have a fever, and you've had a terrible experience in the river, but I know you can do it if you try."

    
She struggled to comply, seeing as she did a man with gray hair and a full mustache.

    
"That's a good girl. Can you tell us your name… where you came from?"

    
"Chastity…"

    
"Oh, Lord… oh, Lord, she's rambling again!"

    
"Penelope, please!"

    
"Chastity?"
The gray-haired man spoke again. "Is that your name?"

    
Yes.

    
"Can you answer me?"

    
She nodded as two women moved into view
   
and looked down at her. They were pale and homely, their features similar. But their eyes were filled with compassion as one whispered, ''Don't worry, little dear… little Chastity. You're not alone. We'll take care of you until you find your mama."

    
A scalding tear slid from her eye.

    
"Don't cry, little dear. Please don't cry. We promise we won't abandon you. Harriet, tell her, please!"

    
"We promise you. We give you our word, dear. We won't abandon you."

    The images faded.

    The rain continued.

    Chastity sat silently inside the rocking wagon as it moved forward along the muddied trail. The night had been long as shadows of the past deluged her dreams. She had awakened time and again, the rain pounding at the canvas cover overhead, reviving familiar fears. But her fears had dissipated the moment she felt the curve of Reed's arm around her and the steady rise and fall of his chest against her cheek.

    Strangely, she gave no thought to the impropriety of their intimate posture when she burrowed closer to his warmth. The scent of him had lent her comfort in the darkness, and the hard, muscular wall of his body had been a haven toward which she was instinctively drawn. The weight of his arm lying lax around her had seemed so right, and when he drew her closer in his sleep as the storm wailed overhead, she    realized that at that moment, there was nowhere else she would rather be.

    The Reverend Reed Farrell was not the man she had anticipated he would be. In the time they had been together, she had felt the brunt of his anger, and she had responded in kind. She had endured his impatience with little patience of her own. She had witnessed the frightening menace of which he was capable when she was threatened and had been stunned at its scope. Those emotions had raised
an awareness
within her of the true power of the total man behind those startling blue eyes but none had touched her heart as strongly as his unexpected gentleness.

    Chastity recalled the breathless rush of emotion she'd experienced earlier, when she opened her eyes to find Reed lying so close. His body was curved around hers, his arm draped across her breast, and when his eyes opened unexpectedly, the light that surged to life there had set her heart to pounding. Mesmerized as his head dipped slowly toward hers, she had felt her lips parting. She had wanted as she had never wanted. She had needed as she had never known need. His mouth was only inches from hers when he drew back abruptly, and the sense of loss she felt when he stood up suddenly and donned his oilskins was so acute that she had almost called out in protest.