Cheating at Solitaire (9 page)

"Call the police!" Steve supplied.

"No, Steve, our daughter is not going to be the only child in preschool to have the cops bust up her birthday party. "

Madelyn tossed her hands into the air. "Lance, don't look at us," she said. "Turn away. This is not a proud moment for the James family. I am so ashamed." She turned and went through the French doors and out onto the patio.

Julia watched her mother leave, and then she wondered where her normally docile sister had gone. Caroline must have read Julia's mind, because she held her hands out to her side and said, "Myrtle makes me crazy."

"I hope my being here didn't embarrass your mother too much," Lance said.

"Don't worry about it. There's dip out there. That's all she really needs," Caroline said and threw the rag into the sink.

"Where are the munchkins?" Julia asked, looking around for her niece and nephew.

"Oh, no," Caroline said. "You need a shower and a nap first. Trust me." She pushed Julia toward the stairs. "Steve, get Nina's keys and bring Julia's bags in. Lance's, too. They've got to clean up.

And then I want you to go get the spray paint in the garage and mark the ground between the stakes so that we'll know where the line is when the fence people show up."

"But, honey—" Steve started. One look at Caroline changed his tune to "Yes, dear," and the Hello Kitty hat was out the door.

"There you are, sleepyhead," Julia's father said.

"Hi Daddy," Julia said, and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. After a long shower and a quick nap, the only thing she needed to feel completely renewed was the sight of her father sitting in the formal living room, reading the newspaper, his bifocals low on his nose. "It's good to see you, honey."

"You, too," she said, taking a seat on the edge of the table in front of him.

He folded his paper and said, "You almost missed the party."

Julia grinned. "Isn't that what you're doing?" He smiled and adjusted his grip on the paper and said, "If I lay quiet enough, they'll forget about me, and I might just get i i done."

She watched her father shift in the tasteful furniture, and she could tell that even here, in his youngest daughter's enormous house, he felt fenced in. Bill James was a man for whom ax thousand square feet would never be enough room. And as Julia sat there, studying him, she realized that the older, the more she became her father's daughter.

"Have we had any rain?" she asked him.

He nodded his head and said, "Enough."

"How are we for hay?"

"Good shape. Good shape. I think we're going to get that bull bought."

"That's great," she said, feigning normalcy, but her breaking throat betrayed her. "Daddy . . . "

"It's okay, sweetie," he said. His big hands fell over both of hers, the universal father signal for
you're still my little girl.
"It's gonna be okay," he told her. "Now, go, enjoy the party."

She hugged him, then moved toward the noise.

"But I'd watch out for Ro-Ro," he called after her.

Through the French doors of the family room, Julia saw that Cassie and her friends were engaged in a fiery game o duck-duck-goose on the back lawn. Ro-Ro was settled on
a
wicker chair, with Steve waiting dutifully at her side. A number of parents stood around, playing referee. But Julia didn’t' follow the action; she followed the voices.

"I like him," Nina said as Julia neared the kitchen. "He laughs when he's supposed to, and he wears good shoes. You can tell a lot about a man by his shoes."

"I don't think it matters what we think. Julia doesn't like him," Caroline stated flatly.

"How can you tell?" Nina asked.

"Because men make Julia uncomfortable."

"Caroline, I don't think you're being fair to your sister, her mother replied.

"I love her, Mother. Aside from my own children, I love he more than anybody in the world, but my sister is—"

"Listening to every word you say." Looks of tremor passed over the three faces as they stared at Julia in the door way. "Caroline, you're right, I'm not interested in him. And Mother, thank you for defending my honor. That seems to be needed a lot lately," Julia said, walking toward them.

"Honey," her mother asked, "how are you feeling?"

"The last two days haven't been a dream, have they?"

Nina shook her head. "Nope."

Julia sighed. "Where is he?" she asked.

"With the kids. He's doing magic tricks. He's really good," Caroline added, as if that would make the situation better.

"I know. He's already made my dignity disappear." Julia climbed onto one of the barstools and picked up a sugar cookie in the shape of a balloon.

"Okay, crew." Nina slapped her hands together. "This is the brain trust. It's time to formulate a plan. I say we call Candon and set up—"

"Candon's history," Julia said. "He saw the sales numbers and got greedy. I am officially finished with Candon."

"Well, then we'll get Harvey—" Caroline started.

"Harvey had a heart attack."

"Oh my," Madelyn exclaimed. "Have you sent flowers?" "No, Mom, I've been busy having a fictitious affair." "Well, that's no reason not to send flowers," Madelyn said, amazed.

No, but the fact that I gave him the heart attack might be,
Julia thought.

"Julia," Caroline said, "what are you going to
do?

"Maybe a houseplant?" Madelyn interjected.

"I don't know, Caroline," Julia snapped, ignoring her mother and growing irritated with her sister. She didn't have an answer. She didn't have a clue. "I'm going to sleep in my own bed tonight. I'm going to spend time with the kids. I'm going to wrap my mind around this and come up with something."

"Cut flowers die," Madelyn afforded, as if clicking through the "in case of death or hospitalization" registry in her head. "I don't think that's the right message, you know, under the
circumstances,"
she whispered, as if Harvey could hear her and she didn't want to be caught speaking ill of the almost-dead.

It was only then that Julia realized how alone she was in this. Anyone in that house would have lain down in front of a train if she'd asked them, but for her future in publishing, their efforts would be just as pointless. There was one thing, however, that they could do.

"So, Sis, which room did you put Lance in?"

"No." Caroline shook her head, seeing where her sister was heading.

"Come on, his stuff is already upstairs!"

"He's a stranger. He's not sleeping under my roof."

"Would you rather he sleep under mine?" Julia asked. "You've got
Steve.
You'll be
safe."

"Oh, yeah," Nina interjected, " 'cause when I think
bodyguard,
I always think
Steve."

"Hey," Caroline snapped.

"Nina." Julia turned to her best friend. "Can't he stay with you?"

Nina seemed to ponder this. "Tempting, but no. I am this close"—she held her thumb and forefinger inches apart from each other—"to having my divorce finalized. If Jason thought
Cheating at Solitaire 87

I was living with another man, who knows what hell he'd raise. Besides, you're the one who brought Lance home; now you're going to have to
feed
him and
water
him and take him out when he needs to go."

"Mom?" Julia tried her last option.

"No," Madelyn said. "Julia, Nina's right."

"I am?" Nina said, not really believing it.

Madelyn finished: "This is your responsibility."

WAY #82: Honor your ancestors.

Families are rich in history. As you seek to make sense of your own life, go back a few
generations and learn about the people who went before you. Sift through the years, and you
may find answers in their ashes.

—from
101 Ways to Cheat at Solitaire

The little raisin of a woman who summoned Lance fro across the party couldn't have weighed more than hundred pounds, Lance decided, not counting the diamonds. Nina had told him that Ro-Ro's first husband had owned a diamond mine in South Africa, so naturally, she'd started off with a big ring. As Lance studied her tiny hands, he could see how hard it must have been for husbands two through four to keep up. What Lance couldn't surprise whether Ro-Ro was deeply connected to the dead loves of he life and wore their rings to remember them, or if she kept the jewels on her at all times simply because she needed the attention and didn't trust the help.

"You must be Julia's fella," she said, once he had settled beside her.

"Actually, ma'am, it's a little more—" "Don't contradict me, young man." "Yes, ma'am."

She looked him up and down as if she was thinking about buying him at auction. "What is your profession?" she asked. "I'm an actor."

She grunted in a way that left Lance unsure of her meaning. "I was an actress," she said, emphasis on the
I,
as if to infer that he was a mere impostor.

"Stage or screen?" he asked, trying to sound impressed.

Ro-Ro cut her tiny eyes toward him, insulted. "Stage, of course."

"Of course," Lance hurried to agree. "What were you in?"

Ro-Ro seemed to consider her answer very carefully before saying, "I only lived in New York for a short time before my Wally came for me and I married him. But I would have been great!

They no doubt still say what a great loss it was to the theater when I married and gave up what would have been a monumental career."

Lance struggled for a response but was saved when a series of shadows appeared suddenly at his side. He looked up at a line of rayon suits and matching handbags, blue hair and knowing grins, and he could only assume that the Georgias had arrived.

"Rosemary, darling, isn't this a happy day?" the smallest of the women squealed as she leaned down and gave Ro-Ro a weak hug.

"Georgia," Ro-Ro said with a nod, barely acknowledging her subordinate.

"And you must be the young man we've all heard so much about. How do you do? I'm Georgia Abernathy. I'm a great friend of the family."

Lance stood and shook her frail hand. "Lance Collins, ma'am. Nice to meet you."

All the Georgias looked at one another and giggled. Lance guessed that he had just passed their initial test. Georgia Abernathy continued to speak, introducing Georgia Burke and Miss Georgia

'54, even though Lance could have easily saved her the trouble. Between Georgia B. and Evelyn Wesley, there was very little doubt which one was the former beauty queen. The former Miss Georgia could have given women half her age a run for their money, whereas Georgia B. had probably never turned many heads, even in her youth.

While Evelyn Wesley had a waiflike presence that denoted her as a woman who had probably never been larger than a size six, Georgia Burke had the large bones and wide hips of a woman who'd been born to work and breed. But what Georgia B. lacked in traditional beauty, she made up for in spirit, Lance could see. When she hugged him and said, "It's so
nice
to meet you," Lance felt that she genuinely meant it.

"Oh, Rosemary," Miss Georgia said to Ro-Ro, "I hope you were telling Lance about the benefit tomorrow night." She laid one of her perfectly manicured hands on his arm, "You and Julia simply must come with Rosemary. It's going to be the event of the year."

"Evelyn," Ro-Ro cut in, "to you, they are all the event of the year."

"Well," Miss Georgia carried on, "it certainly is the event of the
spring.
If you've never seen Sycamore Hills in the spring, it's worth coming just for that. Oh, the dogwoods and the Easter lilies and the . . . well, it's simply gorgeous! I do hope you'll be able to come." She smiled, and Lance guessed that thousands of men before him had probably had a hard time saying no to Evelyn Wesley.

But Ro-Ro didn't let him answer. "I have no tolerance for those ridiculous affairs," she said. "I will not go. No doubt my family will have no interest in going."

"Rosemary, if you hate events like this, why did you buy a table?" Miss Georgia challenged.

"People expect a woman of my standing to contribute, so I contribute."

Georgia A. stepped in. "You can't have an empty table."

Georgia B. agreed. "It would look awkward. I'll talk to the organizers—have them take your table down."

"No," Ro-Ro snapped, then seemed to consider her options. "Although I loathe those functions, I concede they have worth." She looked at Lance as if seeing whether or not he would meet some secret set of standards. Then she straightened her back and

"So, what do we have planned for tomorrow night?" Lance asked when he found Julia, Nina, and Caroline in the kitchen. "Because I was talking to Ro-Ro—"

Caroline cut him off. "I'm sorry about that. I told Steve to keep her busy." She scanned the party for her husband "Steve," she yelled out the window when she saw him. "Isn't there someone you're supposed to be watching?" And in flash, Steve bolted toward Ro-Ro and the Georgias on the far] side of the yard. Caroline turned her attention back to Lance. "Again, I'm sorry about that," she said.

"That's okay. I kind of liked her," Lance said, and Julia] choked on her Diet Coke.

Caroline snickered. "Did you just say you kind of like| Ro-Ro?"

"She's got spunk," Lance said.

"Well, that's one way of putting it," Julia said.

"Kind of like someone else I know."

"Whatever," Julia said, dismissing him.

"Anyway, I was talking with her when the Georgias camel and, well, one thing led to another, and now I think we all have]

folded her hands in her lap, assumed the posture of a qua-n handing down a decree, and said,

"My nieces will attend on in my behalf. It's time for them to learn to do their part."

"Ooh!" Miss Georgia squealed. "We are going to have a wonderful time!"

“To go to a party tomorrow night at some place called Sycamore Hills." Lance waited for the blast of steam Julia might let off, but nothing happened.