Cheyenne (48 page)

Despite the way he had phrased the request, he really hadn’t given me a choice. I was going to the falls whether I wanted to or not. I knelt and dug through the pack for my swimsuit, shorts and shirt. Callon was waiting with a towel in hand when I stepped out of the tent. I kept my gaze down as I followed after him. I felt Colt’s eyes on my back and wondered if he felt the same misery. I took a shaky breath and kept walking.

The walk seemed much shorter this time, maybe because I was in such deep thought. I remembered how the butterflies churned in my stomach as I’d followed behind Colt. How he’d been so gentle, so loving. How he’d carried me to the falls, and how I knew he was different than anyone else I’d ever met. We stopped at the water’s edge, and the sound was almost overwhelming. It wasn’t due to the volume; it was due to the memories. Memories rushed forward, wanting to take over, and I had to fight them back down.

I removed my clothes and shoes, then walked forward into the cold water. As I glanced back, I saw Callon perched on a boulder. I grasped the small soap bottle tightly in my hand and dove under. I swam out away from the falls.

The iciness engulfed me, and a chill ran through my body. I saturated my hair with the shampoo as I unbraided it; making sure I was facing away from Callon. I stared out across the river before me. I was in a quiet pool, a few feet from where the current could pull me out. Would it be a bad thing to let it sweep away my memories?

I tucked the bottle in my suit bottom and ducked under to rinse my hair. When I came to the surface, I found I had twisted and was facing the falls again. The cascading water wasn’t soothing—it caused too many feelings to bubble up. I saw the rock where Colt and I had sat, where we had kissed. Where I’d discovered deep down that I loved him as he loved me…

Tears welled in my eyes, and the unbearable ache began to beat a rhythm I couldn’t stop. I pushed myself under; I wanted the freezing water to make me forget. I wanted it to numb my feelings, deaden my heart, and frost my pain. I pushed myself further down and just floated in the murky, silent solitude.

I stayed there as long as I could, forcing myself to stay under until I thought my lungs would burst. I released one last air bubble from my mouth and swam to the surface, gasping as I came out.

A hand latched on to my arm, and I jumped. I thought I was alone.

“
Cheyenne!” Callon’s eyes were wide with panic. “Are you okay?”

I yanked my arm away, splashing his face with water.

“
I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” Callon wasn’t satisfied with my answer. He reached forward again and drew me closer.

“
But how did you do that?”

I stared at him blankly.

“
Do what?”

“
Stay under for so long?”

Huh? What was he talking about?

“
I wasn’t under for that long,” I said, irritated. Why did he have to be so overprotective?

“
Yes, you were,” Callon said. “Why do you think I’m here in the water with you?”

I frowned.

“
You overreacted. That’s why,” I spat. “Treating me like some helpless child…”

“
You were under the water for more than seven minutes,” Callon said. “I thought the current caught you and took you downstream. After four minutes, I began searching. When I saw your air bubble, I came for you.”

“
Well, I appreciate your concern, but you didn’t need to worried.” I tried to pull my arm away again. “Can you please let go? I can swim on my own.”

Callon’s eyes narrowed, and he wrapped his arm around my waist. He pulled us to shore. I wanted to struggle and make it more difficult, but it was pointless. I wouldn’t have won.

Callon didn’t release his hold as we came to the bank. Still holding me with one arm, he picked up the towel and to set me down on a large boulder. He wrapped the towel around my shoulders and began to rub me dry.

“
Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” he asked calmly.

I was still confused. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“
How could you stay under for so long? That isn’t normal.”

Callon crouched down and dried my legs.

“
I don’t know,” I said, trying to ignore the warmth of his fingers. “I was upset about being here, the whole situation. I wanted to forget, distract myself, so I held my breath until my lungs hurt.”

Callon snatched the towel away roughly and stood up.

“
Get your shoes on.”

I didn’t move. He was in a bad mood, but why? I hadn’t done anything wrong. Slowly, I crept away from the boulder and pulled my boots on. I drew my hair to the side and began to wring the water out. Callon slinked around me, and pressed just above my shoulder blade. I flinched. He ran his rough fingers down the length of the wounds. I remained still.

“
Does this hurt?” His voice had softened again.

“
No. I’m fine.” I stepped away and grabbed my shirt from the ground, pulling it over my head. I hated myself for still wanting his touch.

“
So that’s what Daniel wouldn’t tell me. I saw him glance back, and you scowled.” Callon sighed. “It hurts, and you didn’t want me to know. Why?”

I bent again and put my shorts on.

“
I don’t need your sympathy.”

He gripped my shoulders and slowly turned me around to face him. He took my chin in his hand, forcing me to look at him. His hair was wet, which made it curl.

“
Cheyenne,” Callon said. “I want to help you. Why won’t you let me?”

“
I can handle the physical pain.” I inhaled. “It’s the heartache I can’t stand.”

Callon stepped closer and raised his other hand to my neck, holding me firmly in place.

“
I’m sorry we caused you such heartache. I’m the one to blame; I shouldn’t have allowed this to go on for so long. I’ll make this right. Just give me time.” His lips hovered above mine.

Tears formed in my eyes and my voice cracked as I answered, “No, I’ve had enough. I can’t handle you tearing my heart to pieces again. Just let me go.”

Callon’s face softened.

“
I can’t. Don’t you see? We’re bound together eternally, and nothing can change that.” He caressed my cheek. “I won’t push you. I’ll give you time to heal, but I can’t let you leave. You’re stuck with the three of us, and we’ll do everything in our power to protect you. You have a destiny to fulfill, and we’re a part of it.”

“
I didn’t choose this!” I snapped. “It’s all being forced upon me. I don’t know who I am—I don’t want any of this!”

“
Life’s not always about what we want, Cheyenne. Sometimes it’s about what we can offer. Sometimes we have to be self-sacrificing for the good of others. One day you’ll understand.”

My tears were flowing freely now. I lowered my head as Callon drew me into his embrace. His chin brushed my hair as he rubbed my back, like he had after my accident. When would all this heartache end? I’d already lost so much, carried so much on my lonely shoulders. Any happiness, any joy I had was short-lived and soon ripped from my grasp. What did I have to do to make it last?

I didn’t move from his arms for a long time. I was exhausted both mentally and physically. I hated the feelings I had for them—for Callon. The way his touch sent a current up and down my spine. I had to resist. I had to fight. Otherwise I’d never leave. I had to keep my distance.

A sudden breeze caused me to shiver. Callon pulled away, his hazel eyes filled with empathy.

“
Come on, sweetheart. We need to get you by the fire to warm up.” He took hold of my hand, and we headed back to camp.

The day grew darker. By the time we returned, a large fire was roaring. Callon must have forewarned Colt and Daniel that I was cold. I kept my gaze down as I headed straight for the tent. I was trying to hide the fact I’d been crying, although knowing they gossiped worse than old women, I was sure Colt already knew. I changed and contemplated curling up on the blanket, but I could see Callon’s shadow in the doorway. If I didn’t come out, he’d come in. Reluctantly I stepped out.

I stared at the fire and realized I had few options of where I could go. Callon directed me to sit between him and Colt—their presence around me mimicked the prison around my heart. I pulled my legs into my chest, wrapped my arms around my knees and stared at the flames. They were watching me. All three wanted to make things right, but it was too late. They’d betrayed me, and I was never going to forgive them. I lay my head on my knees, closing my eyes in hopes of maintaining some sort of composure.

Callon departed briefly and then returned. He rested his hand on my shoulder. “You need to eat. You already refused lunch. You can’t go for too much longer.” I didn’t respond. I wasn’t hungry, nor did I really care. His grip tightened. “Cheyenne, if you don’t eat and drink, it will hurt you later. I need you to keep hydrated. We need you to stay strong.”

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I knew he was right. I did need my strength. I didn’t know when my opportunity to leave would come, but I needed to be ready. Slowly, I sat up and took the food and water. Callon was clearly distressed; they all were. I ate and drank everything he gave me. When I finished, I went to the tent and curled up on the blanket to sleep. My body trembled in the cold, as I lay still, waiting for dawn to come. I was too afraid to close my eyes. I didn’t want to have the same dream—I didn’t want to see them die. I was so angry with them, yet I couldn’t turn them away. I had no one else, and that’s what frightened me the most…I didn’t want to be alone. I listened to the fire crackling, knew they were watching, but eventually my tiredness won out, and I drifted off.

Dawn broke, and I forced my weary lids open. Another day and a half, and we would be almost home. It was the brothers’ home, not mine. I’d just be grateful for a warm bed, a shower and a door to close them out.

I lay silently, staring at the tent walls, contemplating my life and the mess it had become. It was hard to believe that just a mere twenty-four hours ago, I’d wanted nothing more than to stay in Colt’s strong arms as he showed me the beauty inside that cave. Now, I couldn’t be around him—or near Callon—without my heart tearing in two.

I rolled over and glanced out of the tent. They were still sitting around the fire. Colt’s gaze was filled with turmoil as he looked at me. His jaw was tight, muscles tensed. He said he would always be there for me—now he couldn’t. His promise had been broken because of an older vow that tied me to another; the man who’d killed my parents, Marcus.

Callon, too, had his own part to play in the equation. Quietly siting on the sidelines, letting Colt trick me into believing we could be together, before revealing that I was promised to him as well. Another obligation that dragged on my heart, forcing me to make a choice I didn’t want. How could they have done this to me?

Sighing, I sat up and once again slowly zipped the tent closed. The daylight was too bright, and my head was beginning to throb. Digging through my pack, I searched for some pain medication—anything to help ease the pressure. This wasn’t like the headaches I’d had in the past. It was normal—well, as normal as normal could be for me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any painkillers. I’d have to ask Callon for something. Already my dread was mounting, knowing he would pester me with endless questions. I grabbed my toothbrush and slid my boots on, unzipped the tent and stepped out.

The morning air was cool, and the fire was barely flickering. I didn’t look up, but I knew Colt’s attention was locked on me as I approached Callon, half-guessing what his response would be.

“
Callon, do you have any aspirin? I have a headache.”

Immediately Callon leapt up so fast that I staggered back to prevent us colliding. My foot caught on a loose rock, and I fell to the ground. Colt and Daniel hovered over me, anxiety ridden.

“
Where are you hurting, Cheyenne?” Callon’s hands were at my temples.

I scowled, pushing myself back to my feet.

“
It’s just a normal headache. Quit panicking! I need some aspirin or something. I don’t want it to get any worse.” Callon’s fingers latched around my arms. I tried to tug myself free, but he wouldn’t let go. “Oh, for crying out loud! I’m not lying! The other headaches come on real fast. This is a slow-building one—it’s different.” I sighed. “I know the difference between the two. Believe me, I’ll tell you if one of the bad ones comes again.”