Child of Mercy (5 page)

“I have no money to lend, nor patience to give.  Beloved, can we not begin the rehearsal?  It grows cold.”

“Oh, right… sure.”  Matty shook himself out of his daze.  “We can have a good, long visit later over dinner.”

* * *

My father had them charmed all through dinner, it’s what he did best.  Always the life of the party with a big, infectious laugh, Vic knew how to spin a tale that had even the waiters standing around listening until the end.  Even Oriana lost some of her trepidation, smiling openly at his jokes.  I wished Parker wasn’t working that night, I thought he of all people could have understood my lack of kindness towards a man I shared a genetic link to.  My mother was the only one besides me who didn’t seem to be having a wonderful time.  Uncharacteristically silent, she picked at her food, excusing herself before dessert was offered.

Chasing after her, I caught up with her near the front door.  “Mom, are you alright?” I asked, worried to see her looking pale and drawn.

“I’m fine, just a little tired.”

“You don’t have to do that anymore,” I stopped her, recognizing my own words.  “You’re not married to him, you can call him a sonofabitch and he can’t do anything about it.”

“It’s better not to antagonize him.  You never learned that lesson.”  She shook her head sadly.  “Just seeing him again… it’s brought back memories, you know?”

“I know.” 
Boy, did I know.
   

“He’ll be gone soon enough and we can get back to our lives.  For now I think I’ll go back to my hotel and have a lie down.  I’ll see you on Sunday, alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you then.”  On impulse, I pulled her close for a long hug, not sure who needed it more, her or me.  “I love you, Momma.”

“I love you too, Merceline.”  She hugged me back, looking a little brighter when she pulled away.  I felt better too as I walked back to the table.  She was right, Vic would be gone in a couple of days and then I could go another decade without seeing him again, no sweat.  I clung to that thought as I retook my seat at the table.

“Matty, do you remember that time we drove down to Ensenada, and you tried lobster for the first time?  That sucker was two feet long at least, I shit you not.”  Vic held his hands up in the air.  “Damn, that was a good trip.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Matty grinned.  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a lobster so big since.”

“Mercy was too picky though, said it looked like a goddamn cockroach, remember?” Vic wagged his finger at me accusingly.

“I remember.” 
Oh, did I remember…

“I told you to quit your bitchin’ and eat it, and you loved it, didn’t you?  You should listen to your old man more often.”

Daphne shot me an uncomfortably sympathetic smile, she’d heard the story before.  Oriana listened with interest, her head going back and forth like she watched a tennis match.  “Actually, the way I remember it is, you didn’t listen to me when I reminded you I’m
allergic
to shellfish,” I said dryly.  “And then you yelled at me the next day for slowing you down when I was out of breath and covered in a rash.”  I met his gaze squarely.  “Good times.”

“You were fine, you just liked to make a big deal outta nothin’, you always did,” he waved it off, unconcerned. 

“Oh, like the time the police confiscated all of our Christmas presents for evidence?  Something about stolen goods, I think, wasn’t that it, Matty?”  I turned an innocent look to my brother, who became fascinated with the bottom of his glass.  “Yeah, I think that was mostly me making a big deal out of no presents until you gave me something to really cry about, wasn’t it, Vic?”

“Don’t you take that sass tone with me.”  My father growled across the table at me.  “You’re not so old I can’t take you across my knee if the occasion calls for it.”

“Oh, I’d love to see you try it, old man.”  My eyes blazed with anger.  He must have seen something in my face because for the first time ever, Vic backed down first, laughing weakly.

“God save us from uppity women, huh, son?”  He raised his glass to Matty.  “I hope you got yours in hand.”

“Oh yes, he is wonderful with his hands,” Oriana sighed dreamily, oblivious to the context my father meant. 

“I think Matt knows how to treat a woman with respect and kindness.”  I raised my glass to my brother.  “Though God knows where he leaned that from, ‘cause it sure as hell wasn’t from you,” I added under my breath. 

“I know how to treat a woman with kindness, when she deserves it,” Vic replied, swaying in his seat from the drink, and I decided I’d had enough.

“I think I need a little air…”  Pushing myself away from the table, I rose to my feet.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Daphne whispered, but I shook my head.

“I’ll only be a few minutes, finish your ice cream, it’ll melt.”  I got as far as the hall to the bathrooms when Matty caught up with me.

“Jesus, Mercy, don’t you think you’re being kinda rough on the old man?”

“Are you kidding me?  After the way he terrorized our childhood?”  I had to remember Matty hadn’t suffered all that badly.  As the boy in the house, he hadn’t been subject to the same injustices my mom and I had, and he’d been too young to see what it did to our mother before she left him.  “Why did you invite him up here anyway?”

“Because he’s family, Mercy.  He’s the only father I’ve got.  It’s not like Oriana had much in the way of family either.  I thought maybe he could walk her down the aisle or something,” he shrugged.

“Maybe you should ask your bride about that and see what she has to say about the idea?”

“Oriana sees things… a little differently sometimes, but she’ll come around.”

“She’s got good instincts about people, you should try to remember that.”  In her own twisted way.

“Can you cut him a break maybe while he’s here?  For me?”  Matty gave me a lopsided smile that tugged at my heart strings, remembering a little boy with that same smile.  My mother’s words echoed in my head. 
If you can’t say something nice…

“I will
try
to keep my mouth shut, alright?” I relented.  It didn’t mean I wouldn’t still think those things on the inside though.

“Thanks, sis.  I’d better get back, are you coming?”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” I waved him off, wanting a few minutes of peace and quiet to let go of some of the pent up anger I still had swimming around inside.  I had the women’s restroom to myself, and took my time, not at all eager to get back to the table.  It was only a matter of time before Vic degenerated into bawdy songs (it was coming, I knew all the signs) and we got kicked out of the restaurant.  At least it was nice to know some things didn’t change.  If he’d turned over a new leaf, I might have had to think about forgiving him and that wasn’t something I wanted to get into. 

Deciding I’d put it off long enough, I left the bathroom, bumping into someone passing by just outside the door.  “Ow,” I scowled as a manly shoe stepped on my foot.  Looking up, my mouth dropped open at seeing who stood before me.  “Hey… what are you… ow!” I flinched as his arm flashed out and a sharp pain struck my left hip.  Had he just pinched me?  “Wha…?”

I think I said more inside my head, but it didn’t get past my lips as the room got spinny and went dark.

Chapter Four

I smelled toast. 

In and out of consciousness, I drifted, my mind spinning its own reality in my drug induced slumber.  Vaguely aware I lay on a couch that wasn’t my own, I preferred to believe myself in more pleasant circumstances, on the plush leather sofa at Adam’s place.  Nevermind that I had no business being there, my mind spun a cocoon of false comfort leaving me feeling safe and very, very sleepy.

Another waft of toast reached my nose.  Was Adam making me toast?

“Hey, are you awake yet?”

I felt a touch at my hair, and I leaned into it, so sleepy. 

“I thought you could use something to eat.  Can you eat something for me, baby?”

So sleepy… the drugs left my head all fuzzy.  And pliable.  I believed what I wanted to, reaching up to capture Adam’s hand, pressing a small kiss to his palm without opening my eyes.  “Not hungry… sleepy,” I nuzzled his hand. 

“I can see that,” he chuckled, and I felt the touch on my hair again.  “I’ll leave you to it then, I can always make you something else when you’re feeling better.  The important thing is we’re together now, and we’ll never be apart again.”

The words were soft and comforting, and what I wanted more than any food was to feel Adam’s arms around me again.  “Missed you.”  Leaning up, I caught his neck in a light kiss.

“God, I missed you so much, Mercy.”  He crushed me to his chest, arms tightening around me and I felt his lips raining kisses down the side of my face.  “I’ll never let you go again, I’m going to fix everything.”

“Sounds good to me.”  I didn’t know what I’d done to bring him back, but I wasn’t going to let Adam go ever again if I had anything to say about it.  My head turned, lips seeking his and I felt the urgency of his kiss.  It felt… different somehow. 

“You’re mine forever now.  You’ll see… I’ll make you love me the way I love you.”

Through the fog I realized dimly that his voice sounded strange. 
I
felt strange, floaty.  Blinking at the bright light as I opened my eyes, I expected to see Adam holding me close, instead I saw an entirely different man.  “Ben?” I choked, pushing weakly at his shoulders.  “What are you…?”  Christ, had I just been kissing him?

My head swam at the movement, and I fought to remain conscious.  The adrenaline coursing through my veins helped shake off the worst of the exhaustion, but I still had trouble sorting through what I’d thought was happening with what actually was. 

“I’m loving you,” he smiled, “the way you deserve to be loved.”  Ben’s hand dipped lower, skimming over the flare of my hip and I shoved at his arm weakly, scooting away from him as best I could. 

“Ben, stop it!  I didn’t know it was you, I thought you were Adam.  Let go of me!” 

“Don’t say his name,” Ben growled in uncharacteristic anger.  No, not uncharacteristic anymore, not since he’d been tainted by his stay in Midian.  “That bastard doesn’t deserve you.  I’m the one who really loves you, and I know I can make you love me again.” 

My fingernails dug deep into his wandering hands, desperate to make him stop.  With my superior strength, I should have been able to toss him across the room, but whatever he’d dosed me with made me weak as a newborn baby. 
Oh God…
“The baby… What did you give me?”

“Shhh, don’t worry, the baby’s perfectly fine, I’d never hurt our baby.”  His hand cupped protectively over my abdomen and I looked for any sign of sanity in his face. 

“Ben…” I began, slowly and carefully.  “This isn’t your baby.  You know that.”  How did he even know I was pregnant?  It was too early for me to show. 

“Not yet, but it will be.”  He gave me that smile I loved so much… the one that used to get me every time just made me feel sick. 

“You’re not making any sense.  Try and listen to what you sound like.  This isn’t your child, and it never will be, no matter what you think you can convince me of.  Now let me go, before you do something we’re both gonna regret.”  I tried to put an edge to my voice despite the weakness sapping my vitality, but it was all a bluff.  I was too muddled to scrape a thimbleful of Grace together. 

“No, no you don’t get it, of course you don’t.”  His smile didn’t falter.  “This is so simple, I don’t know why I never saw it before.  This is the perfect way for Azazael to be reborn, through your baby, and then you and I will raise him together.  It’ll be everything we ever wanted.”

“Azazael.”  My eyes narrowed to slits.  Was he still pulling Ben’s strings?  “Oh, Ben… what has he been telling you?  This is crazy talk!  It’ll never work.” 

“See, that’s why I had to get you here where I could make you see, make you understand we belong together,” he said, his eyes blazing with fervor. 

Hello broken record…
  I had to think hard and fast about how to get out of it without hurting him, because I didn’t blame Ben for how far he’d fallen.  If anything it was my fault he’d gotten mixed up with Azazael in the first place.  I tried softening my voice, wishing I could concentrate enough to send him some soothing Grace, but all I got for my trouble was a dull, throbbing headache.  “Let’s talk about this, okay?  Can you maybe let me up?  This is all happening so fast I can hardly think. Where are we?”  I didn’t recognize the living room we were in, and it didn’t have a motel room style to it either.  The room was furnished with 80’s castoffs, and it had the feel of somewhere that didn’t see regular use.

“Someplace safe.”

Safe.  Did that mean remote?  Just how long had I been unconscious?  Where the hell was I?  The only thing I could take solace in was the fact that Ben was clearly more concerned with getting me alone than hurting me, so I wasn’t in immediate danger.  Which meant it was up to me to make him see reason and let me go. 

Somehow. 

Time was on my side though.  If I waited long enough, the effects of whatever he’d dosed me with was bound to wear off, and my strength would return.  Searching for something else to say, my eyes lit on the food he’d prepared on the coffee table.  Toast and eggs… so I hadn’t been completely delusional. 

“You cooked for me?”

“I told you, I only want to take care of you, Mercy.”

“Yeah, I remember.”  I smiled in acknowledgement.  “Are the eggs gonna be crunchy though?  Any shells in there?”  He seemed to be relaxing a bit; I was on the right track.  If I could just get him off me and maybe slip off to the bathroom…

“Hey, give me a little credit.  How about you quit your belly aching and give them a shot before you criticize?”

He sounded like the old Ben, and that almost made it worse.  “It’s kinda hard to eat with you half on top of me.”  I gave him a pointed look. 

“You used to like me being this close to you.”

That was before you turned into a nutbar…
  “Ben, I’m pretty uncomfortable.  Do you think you could maybe let me up?  Then I can eat and we can talk.”