As she made her way to the jewelry
counter, a pair of looped silver earrings caught her eye. She held
them up to her earlobe while she studied herself in the mirror,
admiring how exquisitely they complemented her straight blonde
hair.
The price for these darling gems was
$60, and only twenty dollars remained in her wallet. Both of her
credit cards were maxed out, and her checkbook was at home, but she
needed to have those earrings. They would look perfect with her new
silk dress, but unfortunately, she was short of cash. Suddenly it
hit her. She would simply walk away with them. They were overpriced
anyway. She remembered how her sister used to shoplift all the
time, many times just to see if she could pull it off. Bianca was
engulfed with a daring spirit, and she decided she was going to do
it. It was something that she never did before, and the idea
excited her. She shifted her eyes around the store to see if anyone
was watching. It seemed safe enough, especially since the two sales
girls behind the counter were busy assisting other
customers.
Very slowly, she extracted her tiny
earrings she was wearing from her earlobes and slid them into her
pocket. She then inserted the loop earrings into her ears and
stuffed the packaging down her coat sleeve. Casually, she stepped
away from the counter and headed for the State Street exit. She was
just about to go through the revolving doors when two security
guards approached her, one on each side. On her right, the security
guard gently tugged her arm and stopped her. "Excuse me, Miss, we'd
like for you to come with us."
She was not the least bit frightened
and knew exactly what to do. She would play the dumb-dumb game.
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Will you just come with us, please?"
he stated.
The security guards and Bianca escaped
through the cluster of people, and all Bianca could do was absorb
the attention she drew. Down the escalators, they escorted her to
the basement as shoppers ogled and teetered. To her surprise,
Macy's did, indeed, press charges against her, and she was soon
picked up, arrested and en route to the police station south on
State Street. Though she maintained a callous exterior, a different
feeling was brewing inside her as she found her ride in the back
seat of the police car to be a novel experience. Even after they
handcuffed her, the entire experience still proved well worth it
and more exciting than she anticipated. She was just so proud of
herself for having the guts to do something so daring and out of
character for her. It wasn't about successfully getting away with
it. It was about the joy of the excursion. This was something that
had never happened to her before. When she said she wanted
excitement and adventure, she was not kidding.
Luckily for Bianca, the sergeant in
charge allowed her to sit with him at his desk, while she waited
for Lee to post her bail. In no hurry to leave, patiently, Bianca
waited as she observed the ins and outs of what goes on in a police
station. Instead of being concerned with tainting her flawless
record, she was overcome with a bizarre urge to write a story about
a woman awaiting bail who takes the entire police department
hostage. Though she was no writer, never wanted to be, never
planned to be and never would be, she wanted to tell that story.
And as bizarre as it appeared even to her, she saw herself as that
woman who could pull off such a mischievous act.
When Lee finally arrived and posted her
bail, he was quiet, and she sensed his annoyance. She knew he was
just waiting for the perfect moment to let loose. As they strolled
towards his Jeep, Bianca anticipated any moment that she would hear
his cute voice. But with each step they made, it seemed it wasn't
going to happen.
Finally, Bianca broke the silence.
"Thanks for coming to get me, Lee. I'll definitely pay you
back."
He didn't display any sign of
acknowledgment, and Bianca thought maybe he didn't hear her, or
worse yet, maybe he didn't want to hear her.
"I don't care about that," Lee said.
"It's you I'm worried about. This is totally unlike you, and I just
don't understand why you did it. Why would you do something like
that?"
A faint smile graced Bianca's face, and
she forced herself to remain serious even though she clearly found
the whole experience exceptionally amusing.
"Maybe I didn't have the money," she
said to him.
"Oh you had money to buy all of those
expensive suits, dresses, perfume and makeup, you could have
afforded $60 earrings."
Bianca opened her mouth to speak and
tried to sneak a word in, but Lee continued over her.
"You could have bought those earrings,"
Lee said. "Hell, I could have bought them for you at the
least."
"What's the big deal? I didn't get into
any real trouble. It's not like I killed anyone."
Abruptly, Lee stopped in his tracks and
said, "No, you didn't kill anyone," he said.
Lee continued towards the parking lot,
while Bianca trailed a few feet behind him. This shoplifting
incident obviously upset him to no end, and it was making her very
uncomfortable. When they reached Lee's jeep, Lee opened the door
for her and then asked, "Why did you do it?"
Bianca smiled and pushed her hair
behind her left ear. "There's nothing wrong with experimenting,
having a little fun, Lee."
"You mean seeing what you can get away
with."
It was like Lee was reading her mind as
he so often did with keen accuracy.
After Bianca settled herself in on the
passenger side of his Jeep, Lee stepped around to the other side
and climbed inside. He slammed the door behind him, then peered
over to Bianca. A stern look oozed from his eyes, and Bianca didn't
want to hear anymore. He was blowing her high, distorting the
thrill of the entire experience.
Then he asked it. "What's going to be
next, Bianca?"
Chapter 10
BIANCA DIDN'T HAVE AN ANSWER to his
question as she didn't know what would be next, except she hoped it
would be lots of fun, even more exciting than the shoplifting. She
tried to roll down the window, then realized he had yet to start
the engine, forcing her to do nothing but hear him out.
"You changed everything about yourself,
Bianca, and I don't mind saying so, but you are no longer the woman
I fell in love with."
She was well aware of his feelings for
her, especially since dedicating that beautiful song to her. The
words I love you had a different feel to it, mainly because he
never voiced it before. The song, I Just Want to Be Your Everything
should have been enough of a clue for her to realize the depths of
his feelings, but she was continually learning about his feelings
for her. Maybe she didn't want to know his true feelings because
then she might be forced to reciprocate.
"I know that you love me, Lee, and I
love you too."
"But you don't know how I love you."
Lee started the engine and pulled out of the parking
space.
He was correct in his assumption
because she did not comprehend the message, though she was trying.
Most importantly though, she was not about to return to the mousy
little girl she once was to please him or anyone else.
As they traveled down Lake Shore Drive,
Bianca drifted into space as she stared out the window. They shared
no words until they reached the front of her apartment
building.
"Lee, that was very sweet what you said
back there, but that is as far as it can go. I'm so different
now."
"Are you really?"
"I am, and I'm not the one for you even
though you might think that I am."
"We'll see."
It was as if Lee was threatening her or
making her some type of long-term promise.
"What does that mean?" she
asked.
"This little phase of yours... It won't
last."
"And you know this how?"
"You'll just have to find out, won't
you?"
Did Lee know something that she
didn't?
After Lee stole most of her joy, Bianca
entered her apartment in less than a bubbly state. His words of
wisdom weighed heavily on her mind so much that she didn't bother
returning Michelle's call left on her voicemail. Instead, she drank
herself into a stupor and went straight to bed.
With Bianca's boss out of the office
until noon, Bianca crept into work an hour late the next morning.
She spent way too much time in the ladies' room teasing her hair,
but it provided her with something to do.
In the hallway, she ran into Michelle.
"Did you get my message last night?" Michelle asked her.
"I got it."
Michelle's eyes darted at Bianca as if
awaiting an explanation.
"What?" Bianca asked.
"Why didn't you call me
back?"
"A lot of crazy stuff happened to me
yesterday. You wouldn't believe."
"Crazy stuff like what?"
"I would tell you, but I don't think
you could handle it."
"Try me."
"Let's just say I got into a little
trouble last night with the law."
"You want to tell me about it?"
Michelle asked her.
"No, I really don't."
Bianca continued towards her desk and
Michelle trotted alongside.
"None of this sounds like you,"
Michelle said. "And it's definitely not like you to not return my
call."
"I'm so tired of hearing that. Well, it
is me and what's the big deal? I knew I would see you today and if
it were that important, you would have called back."
Bianca's voice had elevated by the time
she finished the last word of her sentence, and Bianca saw Michelle
about to step away.
"Wait Michelle. I'm sorry. It's not
you. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just that no one wants me
to be who I am, and I'm constantly reminded over and over of who I
used to be and it's starting to unnerve me. I find myself wanting
to say to everybody 'move on,' but I never say it."
Michelle was about to say something,
then didn't.
"Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't call you
back, but what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"
"Nothing really. I was just going to
ask you if you wanted to see a movie after work, but of course, you
probably already have plans."
"Actually, I don't, but I've seen
enough movies for a while. Maybe some other time?" Bianca asked
with a silent question mark.
"Sure."
As Michelle walked away, Bianca was
suspicious of Michelle's invitation, believing that the movie was a
cover-up for something else, but she couldn't be absolutely
certain.
Back at Bianca's desk, just as she was
filing her nails, she saw Camina trampling through the hall
carrying a handful of file folders. Not many minutes would pass
before Bianca's boss requested her in her office. Supposedly,
Lillian was not due in until noon, but obviously her plans had
changed. Bianca headed towards Lillian's office, wanting to keep an
open mind and not assume anything.
Across from Lillian, Bianca sat, her
legs crossed, waiting patiently for Lillian to voice her reason for
calling her into her office.
"I felt I needed to bring you in here
again and talk to you about this new attitude of yours," Lillian
said. "I'm glad that you're feeling good, I really am, but you
still have a job to do. This is so unlike you to be so absent and
lax on the job."
"I'm so tired of hearing that, 'this is
not like you, Bianca,'" Bianca said in a mocking voice.
"Well, it's not. There are people in
this office, very busy people who are here to work. You sit at your
desk filing your nails while everyone else is busy working, you're
late coming in, you leave early."
"It's not like I leave anything
undone." That was Bianca's only defense.
"That's not the point," Lillian said.
"If you finish your work early, that's a good time for you to help
someone else." Lillian paused, then stood up. "And I'm well aware
that you didn't get in this morning until after ten."
A streak of guilt coursed through
Bianca, having no way to explain her dishonorable act.
"I've spoken with you about this
before. Don't you like it here anymore?"
"I like it."
"Well I expect to see something
different if you're really serious about your job here. I haven't
spoken to personnel about this because I was hoping this was
something we could handle ourselves, but lately, I have my doubts.
You're a good worker, Bianca, when you work."
"I understand."
Not only did Bianca find her boss to be
more than fair, she was also absolutely right. Bianca was not the
model employee. At that moment, she made a concentrated effort to
do something about her behavior. No matter how difficult, if only
for the sake of not letting Lillian down.
Everyone around Bianca seemed to stifle
her joyous spirit. They were constantly complaining ever since she
made the decision to do away with her boring existence. First there
was her psychologist, Dr. Kern. Then there was Lee. Then, Michelle.
And now, her boss.