Choices (20 page)

             
“My aunt and mother had a falling out. Something bad happened between them and our families have never been the same. It’s not just you, they all treat my family the same. Still, they shouldn’t take it out on you. It’s a shame they can’t get over their bull shit long enough to be a family though. I’m sorry you’re being treated like that.” That is a shame. They are family-blood. What could have happened to make them behave this way? I don’t ask the question but it sits there at the forefront of my mind.

             
“Can I ask you something?” I pick at my nails distractedly to avoid his expression when I ask my stupid question.

             
“Gracie, you can always ask me anything and I’ll always answer honestly.” He takes my hand, crooking his pointer finger under my chin to lift my head up so I’m looking at him. I gather my wits to be brave and just ask him what I need to know.

             
“You say you could see a future with me, right?” My face turns red because I can feel the heat rise from my neck to my cheeks. He nods and I press on. “Well, how is it going to work, with us? I mean with me having a baby that is not yours.” I sound like a total dumbass because I know plenty of people who have kids with different mothers and fathers and they work out just fine, it’s almost natural. “Wait nevermind. Stupid question. Forget I said anything.” I put my head back down and hear him sigh.

             
“Gracie, I don’t know all the answers and though the future is always uncertain I know I want you in it. We can figure out the rest together.” That makes me smile and I almost shut my mouth to enjoy the moment, but my ego gets the best of me.

             
“Why me?”

             
“What?” He’s caught off guard and I repeat my question. God, can’t I just leave it alone? I have to have an explanation for everything. I bite my lip, hard drawing blood.

             
“Why me? What’s so special about me?” I sit up and lean back against the bar placing my hands in my lap.

             
“You’re different than the girls I dated before. Of course then I had no heart really. Well, I did, but it was cold and black. And I didn’t care about them. Just needed to stop the pain and they were there giving me an out so I took it. But with you, I wanted to get to know you better. I wanted to be your friend. But more importantly, I wanted to be someone you could always count on to be there no matter the circumstance, what you were going through. I wanted to be your hero.” His blue eyes are warm and expressive. He sits up, pulling his legs straight out in front of him. My hear starts to pound like a drum as he scoots closer to me.

             
“Remember the last time we came here? Or perhaps, it was our first time here. Anyway, we sat in this same spot.” He points down to the merry go ‘round. We’re so close now I can taste his lips. “If you want to know the truth, that night is when I realized I was falling for you. I didn’t just want to be your friend or someone you worked with. I wanted to be the one to take away the pain you were suffering that night. I wanted to punch the person responsible for making you cry the first time I saw you in the hall at school. I wanted to take your pain and carry the weight on my own shoulders. I’ve had enough pain that more wouldn’t really make a difference.” A tear slips out of my eye at his heartfelt words. I lean up on my knees and softly run my thumb over his cheek, memorizing every angle of his face. Then I stare at his lips, very delectable and wanting. I look up as we meet each other’s gaze again. He wraps his arm around my waist. I lean in and press my lips against his. I glide my fingers through his hair as the kiss intensifies, enjoying the silky muss on my fingertips. I pull back, watching his closed eyes flutter beneath the lids. His dark lashes are long and perfect over his skin.

             
“I love you Carter.” I tell him, quietly.

             
“I love you Gracie, more than you know.” I push him onto his back, hovering above him. He smiles up at me, amused by the attack. Damn these raging hormones. I’m not used to being so presumptuous. “You like it on top, huh?”

             
“Shut up.” I lean back, putting distance between us. I’m not sure how it works being pregnant and being intimate. Isn’t it kind of awkward? How would he like it? Would he care? Does it gross him out? I have a million questions flying through my head and it makes the moment die. Carter notices my distress. He grabs my hand, massaging my fingers. God, those hands. I want those hands on me.

             
“Hey what’s wrong?”

             
“Nothing.” Is all I can say because I’m a coward. I try to mask my discomfort but I fail.

             
“If you don’t want to do anything, we can just lie here together. I am completely content with that. Just laying here with you, as long as you lie here with me.” I am reminded of a one of my favorite songs from Snow Patrol-Chasing Cars.

             
“If I lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?” He smiles as he sits us and I do the same. We face each other, staring into one another’s eyes.

             
“If I lay here, if I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” He sings quietly but it’s enough to keep me still, entranced. I didn’t expect him to actually sing to me, let alone know the song I just recited. A tear falls from my eye and rolls down my cheek. He brushes it away with his soft lips.

             
“I wasn’t sure if you knew that song.” I say, smiling.

             
“I love that song. The video is really cool too. Hope that doesn’t make sound like a girl.” He lightly strokes my cheek, kissing from my jawline to my ear. My eyes close own their own accord. He moves to my neck, trailing a path of the lightest of kisses and a groan escapes my throat.

             
“I love your voice.” I tell him, my eyes still closed.

             
“Thank you. I’ve never sang for anyone else, not intimately at least.” I sneak a peek at him through one eye open.

             
“No one?”

             
“No one.” I smile feeling a shiver run through my body that has nothing to do with the chilly weather.

             
He leans into me, kissing me passionately. I wrap my arms around his neck. Our bodies crush together, as much as the baby will allow. Seriously, I can’t believe he’s okay with this. I think I would freak out if I were him. His fingertips stroke my back up and down. He gently slides my body underneath his, laying me down on my backside. Above me, he senses my nervousness and smiles widely. I melt at the fervor of his lit up face. While kissing my mouth, his eyes are open gauging my reaction. I hear his ragged breaths as they match my own. He’s waiting for permission to move forward.

             
“Are you sure? Say the words and we’ll stop.” But this time I don’t want him to.

             
“No, don’t.” And I pull him down on top of me.

Chapter 31

Still soaring high on cloud Carter, I pick out clothes to wear. He’s taking me to meet his family, which I’m a little nervous about but I know he won’t stop asking until I give in. It’s been a week since that night in the park and he’s been good about not bothering me about it but I know it’s there, waiting to slip out every time we talk. So I figure what the hell can it hurt? I doubt his mom is as mean as Nick’s. I smile to myself remembering our night of passion and desire. Touching my lips, a flash of memory of his lips on my skin fills my vision. I lightly trace my body that still tingles from his touch. It was the best night of my life. We didn’t have sex, we shared the passion and love we have for one another. It was deeper than sex. I may only be seventeen and a bit hormonal but what I feel is something no one can touch. No one can take it from me or tell me it was nothing but a memory. He was kind, gentle and attentive and he never pushed, holding back and only waiting for permission. His hands were eager of course, but they were also patient and warm. When our moment was over, we held each other and talked, under the night sky until dawn arrived. I didn’t want to leave the safety of his arms.

             
“Gracie?” My mother comes into my bedroom. She peeks in the door before stepping in. “What are you doing?” I look away blushing, wondering how stupid I must have looked in my moment of reminiscing.

             
“Nothing. Actually, I’m looking for clothes to wear. Carter is picking me up to meet his family.” I sift through my closet, settling on some black pregnancy pants and a red sweater. This will have to do. I’m just glad I finally bought some new clothes; mine were starting to get too tight in all the wrong places. I think pregnancy clothes are made more for comfort than look. I mean, some are nice and maybe flattering but the stuff I got do not make me feel sexy. I hope it changes soon or I’m going to have a rough few more months.

             
“You know I’m really happy for you Gracie.” I take the sweater off the hanger and lay it on my bed. I look at her and smile.

             
“Thanks mom.” She pats the space beside her and I sit down.

             
“No I mean it.” She takes my hand in hers, lightly rubbing my fingers with her thumb. “Over the last few months I’ve watched you blossom into a strong and brave woman. You were so scared and moody in the beginning, though you had a legit reason to be. But now you seem more happy and fearless.” She tucks some strands of hair behind my ear. “You’re going to make an amazing mother. This baby will be so lucky and feel so loved.” Her finger caresses my cheek affectionately. I hold in tears that are threatening to escape my eyes. I need to be strong. I can do this.

             
“It’s because I have the best support and love from people who never gave up on me. I wouldn’t be able to do this without any of you.”

             
“Carter had the biggest hand in this. He truly is a great guy. And I’m so sorry I ever doubted him. I just can’t believe they’re cousins, him and Nick. You think you know someone for so long but then find out you never really knew them.” I hadn’t thought about Nick or seen him for a week. And to be honest, I haven’t thought about
that
fact for a few days. It’s still really surreal to me. But I know I will need to see him soon, especially since he wants to come with me to my appointment this month. Will it be Hunter or Kylie? I really don’t care, as long as they are healthy and happy.

             
“There’s a lot of dissention between the families. Something happened to both of their mothers that caused the feud.”

             
“Well, I hope Carter’s family treat you better than his ever did.” She pats my back before retreating to the door, just as the doorbell rings.

             
“They will mom, I know they will.” I tell her before she leaves. At least I hope they will. “Oh shit, he’s here.” I yell. I need to get dressed.

             
“Okay, I’ll let him in.” She calls to me as she heads downstairs.

             
After I slip on my sweater and pants, I pick out some boots. Looking in the mirror next to my dresser, I study my reflection and how much my body has changed. I smile, rubbing my belly. Remembering Carter is here; I flip my hair in a messy bun and apply some makeup, not too much, just enough to hide my tired eyes.

             
As I step outside into the hall, I hear voices in the next room-Tyler’s room. I quietly creep down the hallway and peer into the room and see Tyler playing video games…with Carter. I lean against the door frame, arms crossed over my chest in fascination and awe. It amazes me how good he is with kids. They are laughing and Tyler seems to be challenging Carter and knowing him he never backs down from one. I chuckle to myself a little too loudly, causing Carter to look up and see me. I shut my mouth and stifle a laugh. He gives me a once over, then flashes a devious smile-approving my attire.

             
When Tyler notices the quiet, he looks in my direction and waves. “Hey sis.”

             
“Hi Tyler. I see you’re challenging Carter.” I step into the room and sit on his Iron Man themed bed, watching the game going on the Xbox. Tyler’s room is a little smaller than my room. He has posters of Iron Man on his walls and the action figures atop his bookshelf.

             
“Yeah, he’s pretty competitive.” I laugh remembering just how right Tyler is-and when he loses how much of a baby he is too.

             
“You should let him win. Seriously, he hates losing.” Carter shoots me a challenging look. “He cries.” I add, still looking at him, smirking.

Just then, Carter stalks toward the bed
where I’m sitting and before I know what he’s planning to do, he starts tickling me. “You like talking smack, do ya?” He says playfully.