Choker (5 page)

“Vodka slushes, everyone!” she called. There was a mad stampede to the pitcher. Maren filled big red plastic cups and handed them around. Someone burped and everyone giggled.

“You’re so nasty, Erin!” Alexis called out. “Why don’t you just show us your crack instead?”

Zoe looked over at Cara. “Is everyone at your school like this?”

Cara nodded. Then she paused. “Well, not everyone.” She stared down at Sydney, but she could feel Zoe watching her. Finally, she looked over. Zoe had a mischievous little smile on her face.

“Okay, who is he?” Zoe teased. “Come on, spill.”

Cara giggled. “Um, his name is Ethan. Tall, dark, handsome, incredibly sweet. Oh yeah—saved my life yesterday.”

“What?” Zoe exclaimed.

“It was kind of amazing.” She filled her friend in on the infamous choking incident, starting with Ethan’s strong arms around her waist—and ending with her new nickname. “And now they call me
Choker
,” she finished. “Talk about literally adding insult to injury. Basically, Alexis and Sydney think I’m the biggest freak in school.” Cara felt a hot wave of shame build in her chest, even here, alone with Zoe. “It’s been like this since I got here. Middle school was awful, but I hoped to start fresh in high school. Yeah, right. In ninth grade, there was this freshman fall dance. I was so excited, my first real high school event.” Cara paused. She thought of the red velvet dress with the gold sequin bodice she’d worn, not realizing everyone else would be in jeans and tight little tops. It was the reason she now wore a uniform of khakis and T-shirts. “And whatever, I was clueless, right? I was just a little freshman.”

Zoe nodded. Her eyes shone in the dark like a cat’s.

“So I asked this guy, Marc Simons, to dance. I thought he was really cute—he was wearing a leather jacket.”

“Ohhh, the height of coolness!” Zoe laughed.

“I know, I thought it was great. So I ask this guy to dance, and he said ‘no.’ Just like that, right in front of everyone.” Cara’s fingers tightened on the gritty asphalt shingles.

“What a jerk!” Zoe shook her head.

“Anyway, Alexis and Sydney saw the whole thing, and they basically followed me around for the next six months, calling me Mrs. Simons, asking if Marc had called.” She shrugged. “It never stops. Posting crap about me on Facebook, prank calls. Honestly, I’m kind of used to it by now. I’m even used to Alexis and Ethan being together.” But even as the words came out of her mouth, she knew it wasn’t true. Zoe squeezed Cara’s knee.

“Bitches,” she said, waving her hand in dismissal. “Fake bitches.”

Cara grinned and rearranged her legs on the rough shingles. Beneath them, the party was getting loud. There was the crash of breaking glass, and a splash. “Maren is in the pool!” someone yelled.

“God, that sucks about Alexis and Ethan.” Zoe sucked in her cheeks, thinking. “If only they’d break up. Maybe we can find a way to help them along. . . .”

Cara snorted. “Right. We can start working on my presidential campaign right after that.”

Just then, someone yelled “Choker!” from the deck next door. Cara panicked. She looked down, expecting the girls to have spotted them. Instead, they were still sitting in their lounge chairs, watching as Sydney staggered around, grabbing her throat with both hands and bugging out her eyes.

“She sounded like this!” she yelled before letting out a series of retches and gags, like a calf with its throat slit. Everyone broke out into hysterical laughter. Alexis snorted some of her vodka slush up her nose and had to be pounded on the back until she recovered.

Cara and Zoe watched in silence. Sydney staggered for another minute before dropping into a lounge chair herself. “Hey, remember when she started crying in the hall because she couldn’t get her locker open?” she said, her voice carrying up as if she was sitting right there on the roof with them. The other girls tittered in response. Cara looked straight ahead at the trees across the street. She remembered perfectly. That was also freshman year.

Below her, Maren’s languid drawl chimed in. “How about when she got that bloody nose in volleyball and her mom had to come get her. . . .”

Cara’s palms were sweating. She didn’t dare look at Zoe.

Then she felt a soft hand on her shoulder. “Things must have been really hard for you,” Zoe said softly.

“It’s been awful,” Cara admitted, letting out a sigh. “When we were growing up, and my parents were never around, at least I had you there. And then, after we moved, they spent all this time with me, which was great. But of course it didn’t last. It’s like they got tired of me or something. Now they’re always working, just like before. Honestly . . . I’m all alone.” It was amazing how good it felt to tell someone the truth—as if she’d been holding her breath for a long time and could finally, finally exhale.

“You
were
all alone,” Zoe corrected her. She squeezed Cara’s hand.

Beneath them, a cell rang and Sydney grabbed her phone. “Oh my God, it’s Jack!” she squealed.

“Why’s he calling
you
?” Alexis sniped.

“Shut up.” Sydney already had the phone to her ear. “Hello? Do you guys mind? Can I have a little privacy here?”

The other girls slowly peeled themselves off the lounge chairs, trailing back into the house. Alexis was the last one in. “Don’t stay out too late, slut!” she called over her shoulder. Sydney gave her the finger without looking around. Alexis giggled and slid the doors shut, leaving Sydney alone by the pool.

Cara felt Zoe’s warm hand creep over hers. “You don’t have to worry about anything now, Car.” Zoe squeezed her palm. “I’m here now. I’ll take care of you.”

Chapter 5

T
HE GIRLS CLAMBERED BACK THROUGH THE WINDOW.
Cara brushed her hand over the pebbly imprint the asphalt shingles had left on the back of her legs. Her room was warm and welcoming after the chilly darkness of the roof. Zoe stretched her arms high above her head. “I’m exhausted.” She yawned, sinking down on the edge of the bed. She flopped over backward, almost hidden by the puffy, black-and-white striped pillows and comforter billowing up around her.

Cara bustled around, getting a clean towel out of the bathroom, rummaging around for pajamas for Zoe. “So, I think you’re going to be fine here. I mean, this room is so big, it’s like your own hotel suite—”

“Car.” Zoe cut her off. “Please shut up.”

Cara looked over at her friend, wounded. Zoe was still buried in the bedclothes, staring up at the ceiling.

“I’ve been through a lot today. Can we save the celebrating until tomorrow?”

Cara handed her a gray T-shirt and a pair of old gym shorts. “Of course.” She leaned over and hugged her friend. “I’m just so, so glad you’re here. It’s amazing you showed up just when I really needed someone. But then again, you always knew when something was wrong. Remember when I was so mad Mom wouldn’t let me go to the May Fest at school?”

“In fifth grade.” Zoe spoke without moving.

“And I went over to your house and we made our own roller coaster?”

“Out of that washing machine box and all that old wire.” Zoe smiled from her sprawled-out position.

Cara pulled on a tank top and a pair of boxers and climbed under the covers. “Hey, move over—you’re hogging the bed. I’m having flashbacks to our sleepovers.” She nudged Zoe’s knee with her own.

“Mmmm,” Zoe mumbled. She shifted a few inches to the right.

Cara eased down a little farther between the sheets. She lay for a moment, staring into the darkness, listening to Zoe’s breathing beside her.

Just this morning, she’d risen from this same bed, her throat aching from the choking incident, feeling like she was going to vomit all over again at the prospect of facing everyone at school. But with Zoe here, that fear seemed silly. Cara yawned luxuriously and hitched the comforter up around her neck. She closed her eyes and felt herself slide almost immediately into sleep. Then a voice jolted her back.

“Cara?”

She opened her eyes. “What?”

Zoe raised her head, her black hair tangled across her face. “Will you pet my hair? Remember? Like you used to?”

“I remember.” All those nights when Zoe would climb in her window, crying because of her stepdad. She would get into bed, and Cara would stroke her hair, over and over, the shiny black strands slick under her fingers, until Zoe’s crying finally ceased and her breathing deepened.

Cara turned on her side and softly placed her hand on Zoe’s head. Her hair felt just like it used to in fourth grade, silky and smooth. She petted her head over and over.

“That’s so nice,” Zoe mumbled, her face to the wall. She was already half asleep. Cara smiled to herself and listened to Zoe’s breathing for a long time before she finally fell asleep herself.

She dreamed there was a fire at school. The alarm bells were beeping in deafening blasts. The hallway was full of smoke and running, screaming kids. And she was standing in the middle of it all, choking again on the carrot. But this time, no one noticed. They were all too busy running from the fire. Cara saw Ethan run past her dream-self, and she opened her mouth and tried to scream for him, but nothing came out. She knew it this time, her mind blared. This time she was going to die. The fire alarm grew louder and louder.

Cara opened her eyes. The room was bathed in red light, and for a brief instant, she thought her dream had been real. Then the blaring noise grew louder, as if it were coming from inside the room. Cara sat up and glanced over at Zoe. She was still in the same position, apparently undisturbed by the noise, buried in the pillow.

Cara threw back the comforter and shivered her way to the window. The floorboards felt slick and icy under her feet. The blaring abruptly stopped. Cara peered through the glass. An ambulance was pulled up in front of Sydney’s house, its siren silenced but the lights still flashing. Two EMTs leaped from the front seat and ran up the steps. One carried a big black case, while the other had an orange tote bag slung over his shoulder. The bigger EMT rang the doorbell. When there was no answer, they both peered through the sidelights, then tried the door, which opened. Cara watched them disappear inside.

She turned back to the bed. “Zoe!” She shook her friend’s shoulder.

“Hmm, wha?” Zoe mumbled without opening her eyes. She rolled over and tried to pull the pillow over her head.

Cara shook her again and pulled the comforter off. “Get up! Something’s happening next door.”

Zoe sat up. “Oh my God, what? I’m sleeping!” She moaned, rubbing at her face.

“Jesus, you’re hard to wake up. Something’s wrong at Sydney’s. There’s an ambulance outside.” Cara returned to the window as Zoe swung her legs to the floor. “The paramedics went inside.”

“Car, look here.”

Cara turned away from the window. Zoe was standing at the other window, the one that looked out over Sydney’s deck. Cara went over to her and peered out. Illuminated like a sculpture in the sapphire water, a body floated facedown in the pool. The pool lights sent up gorgeous beams of gold, like columns supporting the prone form.

The figure’s long brown hair spread out across the water like seaweed. She wore a pink tank top with a black bra underneath and white skinny jeans. Cara’s fingers curled against the windowsill. A faint whiff of chlorine wafted by her nose. “Oh my God, it’s Sydney,” she whispered.

Zoe stood silently beside her. As they watched, the EMTs burst through the back doors of the house, followed by a screaming Alexis.

“She’s there! She’s there!” they heard Alexis shriek, pointing at the pool. Her hair stood out from her head as if she’d been electrocuted. The EMTs used the pool cleaning pole to propel Sydney’s body to the side and hauled her from the water with a hand under each armpit. Cara felt bile rise in her throat as Sydney’s limp form was dragged over the edge, streaming water across the pool deck. Her head flopped limply onto her shoulder.

“Oh my God! Oh my God!” Alexis screamed over and over. The EMTs laid Sydney out on the deck. One pumped her chest with his bare hands, while the other began pulling things out of the orange tote bag. Behind them, the other partygoers stood in a cluster just inside the glass doors, holding one another tight.

Then Cara’s mother emerged from a gap in the hedge that divided the two houses, Cara’s father close behind. Mom had a pashmina draped over one arm, and Dad was still wearing his suit. They must have just come home from their event. Mom clicked over to the EMTs, balancing on her stilettos. Her hand went to her mouth, and she uttered a stifled little shriek as she caught sight of Sydney’s body. One of the EMTs looked up. “Are you the parents of this girl?” His hands were still pressed on Sydney’s chest.

“No,” Mom said, her eyes fixed on the body. “Oh dear. We’re the neighbors. We were just coming home and heard the disturbance. . . .” Her voice trailed off as she stared at Sydney’s body. Dad put an arm around her shoulders.

“Will she be okay, sir?” he asked the EMT. The man didn’t answer.

“It’s too soon to tell,” the other EMT responded. “We’d appreciate it if you could go back home. Thanks.” He pulled out a long tube and began doing something near Sydney’s head.

Mom and Dad made their way back through the hedge. A moment later, Cara heard her own front door open and close, and then their footsteps as they moved around downstairs. Her own breath was coming fast and shallow. She realized she was holding Zoe’s hand. Her friend’s grip was strong and reassuring.

Footsteps were coming up the stairs. Cara’s heart beat short and fast as she realized her parents were going to check on her. Her eyes met Zoe’s, and as if reading her mind, her friend dropped like a stone to the carpet and rolled under the bed in one swift movement.

Cara threw herself onto the bed and pulled the covers up around her neck just as a soft knock came at the door. She closed her eyes and forced herself to inhale deeply and slowly. She flung one arm over her head in an attitude of sleep. Beneath the bed, Zoe was completely silent.

Eyes closed, Cara heard the door open a crack. She knew her mom must be peeking in, but didn’t dare look. There was a pause of about ten years, and then the door gently shut. Cara didn’t open her eyes until she heard footsteps receding back down the stairs.