Chosen Child (7 page)

Cars were passing by as the neighbours came home from work.
Amanda glanced outside. Their Ford was still parked on the street; she should
move it into the garage. They never left it outside all night.

She was searching for the car key – Gareth usually plonked
it on the hallway table but today of all days it wasn’t there – when her phone
rang. It was James.

‘Can you access your garage from inside the house?’

‘No.’

‘Hell. That would have been too easy. Right. Fill two or
three of those big black bags with something – clothes, spare bed stuff,
whatever. I’ll be with you in ten.’

Amanda stared at her phone, seeing her hand begin to tremble
again. Why the bags of stuff? He might have told her more. Resentment rising
inside her, she nonetheless went upstairs and stuffed duvets and pillows into
three large bin bags.

True to his word, ten minutes later James reversed into the
driveway and bounded up the path, looking for all the world like a man come to
visit a good friend.

‘Here’s the plan,’ he said, closing the front door behind
him. ‘If anyone sees us and mentions it later, you say I’m a friend who’s
expecting visitors and you’re lending me some bed things. We’ll take the bags
out and put them in my car, laughing and chatting, and Gareth’ll be in one of
them. Okay, Amanda? We want to do this quickly and look natural while we’re
doing it.’

Amanda’s knees gave way and she sat down on the stairs
again. ‘What are you going to do with him?’

His expression was grim. ‘I won’t tell you that, because
next week you’re going to have to act frantic when he disappears. I’ll come
back tomorrow morning and we’ll thrash out the details. The important thing now
is to get the body away.’

The body
… Unable to speak, Amanda
followed him up to the spare room. James crouched beside the bundle that was
her husband, testing the weight, and Amanda felt nausea rise. The smell was
awful, and that was just… body fluids. When decay set in it would be so much
worse. What on earth could James possibly do to hide that?

‘He’s starting to go stiff,’ said James in a low voice.
‘This is the pits. But there’s nothing else we can do.’

He grasped the package, hefting the body into a good
position in his arms, his face sheet-white.

‘Come
on
, Amanda. Go down and open
the boot. Take one of the other bags. We’ll put that one and Gareth in first
and then come back for the other two, then it’ll be thanks and hugs and goodbye
out there, and I’ll drive off.’ His voice was vicious but that was how Amanda
felt too.

Almost in a trance, Amanda led the way. James stumbled
halfway downstairs, Gareth’s foot inside black plastic hooking in the
banisters. Shuddering, Amanda jerked it free. It felt nothing at all like
Gareth’s foot. And the terrible bundle in James’ arms obviously wasn’t a spare
duvet. This was crazy… if anyone saw… But it was way too late to do anything
else, wasn’t it? She opened the front door.

Bile rose in Amanda’s throat as James heaved Gareth into the
boot, then she tossed another bag in after him. James shot her the bleakest
look in the world as he flung the remaining bags of pillows in too and slammed
the boot shut. He hugged her, a ghastly grin on his sheet-white face, and a
minute later the car was turning the corner. Amanda trailed back inside. That
was the last she would ever see of her husband.

Jaden was still intent on his DVD, and Amanda stroked his head.
He looked up at her, a hopeful expression on his little face. ‘Da-dada?’

Amanda burst into tears.

Saturday 17th May

Ella waved as Rick drove away. Officially, he was going to
the garden centre to get some more compost, and fresh gravel for the driveway.
Unofficially he would almost certainly call into work first, because he hadn’t
wanted her to come with him. She sighed. He’d been gone well under an hour last
night but returned looking grim. Things with the India contract were still precarious,
but unless something more had gone wrong overnight, he should be back before
too long. Meantime, she had her own plans. She would drive to the furniture
store on the edge of town and see what they had for children.

Aware that her lips were curved in a smile, Ella wandered
round the children’s section, looking at little white beds with princess
canopies, and miniature desks and chairs. How lovely it was to be planning for
a little girl. Rick would have said she was tempting fate, but really, what
could go wrong? It was only a matter of time before Soraya joined them. And
maybe next year they could start the process again, and complete the family
with a little brother for their girl. Ella caught sight of her reflection as
she walked through the store, a crazy blonde woman with a grin a mile wide, but
oh, she had waited a long time for this. The parent times were beginning.

On the way out she picked up a catalogue, then stopped off
at the butcher’s to buy steaks for dinner. Rather to her surprise the Peugeot
was back in the driveway when she arrived home. So Rick’s presence at work
wasn’t needed today. Good. And there he was, lugging sacks of compost into the
shed. A rush of affection spread warmly through Ella, and she walked across the
garden and knocked on the shed window.

‘Anyone home?’

Rick appeared clutching a red and white basketball basket
and a ball, and pulled the door shut. He waved the basket at her. ‘Let’s get
this up, shall we?’

Ella stood by while he marked screw holes on the back wall
of the shed, arguing amiably about the height. While he was screwing it on she
told him about her visit to the furniture shop.

‘Good idea,’ he said. ‘Now you know what direction to steer
her in when it comes to choosing stuff. I suppose we’d take her along to do
that?’

‘I’d say it would be the best way of all to help her feel
she was an important member of the family,’ said Ella, happiness shivering
through her. This was going to be so good. ‘She knows what she likes, too.’

‘She does seem to have an opinion about most things, doesn’t
she? For such a small person. Why don’t you drive out to Burnside Centre after
lunch? There’s a much bigger store there, and a toyshop too.’ Whistling, he
went back into the shed and closed the door.

Ella went to look at Soraya’s shell garden. This was a good
idea too, giving her a patch of land of her own. And it was genuinely pretty.
They could add some gravel in between the shells, and maybe some rock plants
too. It would be up to Soraya.

She returned to the house and heated soup for lunch. Rick
was silent as they ate, and Ella groaned inwardly. She hated it when he was so
absorbed in his work that their home life suffered, but it had happened before
and she knew it would happen again. It might be difficult persuading him to take
time off if – when – Soraya joined their family.

Something Liz had told them popped into Ella’s head and she
leaned towards Rick. ‘We could start making a family photo book for Soraya
tonight. I suppose she’d get it when the match is officially approved.’

He stared at her. ‘Do you think we still have to do that?
After all, she knows us; she’s been here already. The adoption parties seem to
create a different timeline.’

‘I don’t think it’s a must, but it’d help her feel part of
the family. We can include photos of our parents, and your sister and her
kids.’

Rick was frowning again. ‘Whatever you like. Are you going
to Burnside?’

‘Yes. Are you coming?’

‘Not today. I want to work in the garden while it’s dry.’

Ella drove the few miles feeling slightly miffed. Would Rick
be so distant if it was a little boy they were adopting? Unlikely – it would be
all systems go buying boy-toys. Or maybe Rick was afraid of emotional
commitment to a child who still wasn’t officially their own. Hopefully, that
would change very soon.

She arrived back home with more catalogues and a box of
board games ranging from Snakes and Ladders to Twister.
The
family that plays together, stays together
. She had heard that somewhere
and it was probably true.

Rick was in the kitchen when she returned, looking rather
white. Could he be sickening for something? Ella dropped her bag on the table
and went to hug him.

‘Are you all right? You’re very pale.’

He fumbled with the glass he was holding. ‘Sorry, Ella. It’s
- ’ His eyes met hers for an instant and she saw worry and frustration there.
He sipped his water and went on. ‘I – I’m not sure how safe my job is, and it’s
been preying on my mind.’

Ella was astounded. She’d assumed Rick’s job was a million
per cent safe. Logistics was an area where they never had enough well-qualified
people, wasn’t it?

‘For heaven’s sake, why?’

‘Just a feeling. If this new contract doesn’t come through…
The next few weeks’ll be critical so I apologise in advance if I’m a bit out of
things.’

She kissed him. ‘No problem. And I’ll be ready any time you
want to talk. But absolute worst-case scenario, Rick, even if you lost your
job, with your qualifications you’d find another one. Certain sure.’

He shrugged, his face bleak. ‘Let’s hope it doesn’t come to
that. Thanks. Why don’t I let you organise dinner while I take some stuff to
the dump, and then afterwards we’ll get on with your photo book for Soraya?’ He
gave her a thin smile and went outside.

Frustrated, Ella poured a large glass of Merlot, all the
time wanting to scream at him,

‘It’s not my photo book. It’s going to be Soraya’s photo
book, but for the purposes of this exercise it should be
our
photo book.’

She stood at the sink preparing vegetables, and saw Rick
drive off a few minutes later. The dump, her foot. He’d be off back to the
factory to see who was in the office and what, if any, progress had been made.

A thought struck her as she was grating carrots for salad.
Would they still be allowed to adopt Soraya, if Rick was made redundant? They’d
been approved on the basis of Rick in a job…

Trepidation rising, she abandoned the carrots to sit down at
the computer, and quickly found what she wanted. Being unemployed didn’t exempt
you from becoming an adoptive parent, but possibly Rick didn’t know this and
was worrying needlessly. It might be an idea to mention it casually over
dinner. If he lost his job he could be the one at home doing more of the
parenting. Ella paused, staring out to where Rick was already pulling up in the
driveway. She didn’t want to be the breadwinning parent. She wanted to be a
hands-on, full-time, stay-at-home mum for a couple of years at least.

But maybe she wouldn’t get the chance.

To her surprise, Rick was more cheerful when he came back
in. ‘I popped into the factory; things seem more stable today,’ he said.
‘Fingers crossed they stay that way.’

Ella decided not to mention her adoption-related research.
Time enough to bring that up if things did go pear-shaped with Rick’s job. But
surely
… There had never been the slightest hint the company
wasn’t doing well. It would just be Rick worrying too much – the prospect of
having a family to provide for would be more daunting now they were so close to
the end of the process. It was time to do some serious confidence boosting.

Monday 18th May

Gareth’s walking tour was to start on Monday morning, one day
later than he’d originally planned. Amanda and James had discussed this at
length on Saturday – there were pros and cons about both days – but decided
that Monday was the better choice. There would be no weekend hikers around, and
fewer people meant a smaller risk. Or at least, a less-huge risk.

Amanda shuddered every time she thought about it. They were
going to act out Gareth’s departure, she and James and Jaden. And how she would
manage to stand at Lamorna Cove waving cheerfully as James – playing Gareth –
disappeared round the corner, Amanda had no idea.

She woke at ten to six, her head thumping, and lay massaging
her temples and watching Jaden sleep. She couldn’t face the bed in her own
room, and the spare room, where Gareth had lain in his bin bags, was equally
impossible. So she'd moved in with Jaden. What she was going through now was
completely surreal. She and her baby – both babies – were stuck in the middle
of the biggest horror trip imaginable and she would have to live with what she
was doing for the rest of her life. She should have phoned for an ambulance.
The police wouldn’t have arrested her, would they? Nobody could say she’d
murdered Gareth. All she’d done was push him to stop him crashing into her and
her unborn child. Doing things James’ way had turned her into an undercover
criminal, and how sick was that? If only she could turn the clock back; if only
she had never met him.

Thinking about James drove new shafts of pain through her
head. She knew so little about him. They’d never talked in depth about their
upbringing, plans for the future, friends. Those other girlfriends, for
instance. She’d never seen any indication of them in his flat, but that didn’t
mean they didn’t exist. Thinking about the flat caused a fresh wave of misery
to break over her. It was so bare... Few knick-knacks, no piles of books or old
photos. She couldn’t begin to imagine what that might mean. Or she could, but
she didn’t want to.

It’s not his home
, whispered a
mean little voice in her head.
Fool that you are. It’s his
pad, his love-nest. What normal person his age lives in a studio flat with no
personal bits and pieces?

And then there was the baby. James hadn’t even mentioned it
when they’d made their plans. Would he still stick by her? And the most
terrifying thought of all – what if James wasn’t the father? Suppose he
insisted on a paternity test when the baby was born – and suppose it was
negative?