Christmas at Twilight (21 page)

“November fifth.”

Sloane had been dead for almost two months? She could not have seen him in the Twilight town square. How had her instincts been so wrong? Her ability to sense his presence was the only thing that had kept her alive this long. Maybe she was shell-shocked. Seeing danger and disaster in even the most innocent things. After all, she'd shot Hutch with pepper spray even after she'd known that he was not Sloane.

“How?” she asked.

Hutch was gently stroking her back, but she could barely feel his hand. Could barely feel anything.

“Your ex-husband was on the run from law enforcement,” Hondo said.

“Huh?” She shook her head, blinked again, and glanced around as if she could find meaning from the living room furniture. “What do you mean?”

“LAPD internal affairs was investigating Sloane over numerous incidents of misconduct, planting evidence, abusing detainees, even a suspected murder rap. They dug up enough evidence to put him away for the rest of his life. He was arrested but escaped custody, and a manhunt ensued.”

“How did he die?” Meredith still couldn't believe it. She felt like Julia Roberts in
Sleeping with the Enemy
when the character thought her stalker ex was dead and he reached out to grab her again.

“Sloane committed suicide by running his car into a parked oil tanker truck. Luckily, no one else was hurt or killed in the crash.”

She jumped as if she'd been grabbed.

Hutch dropped his hand as if sensing she was too distressed by the news for touch.

Nausea churned in her stomach,
Don't be sick, don't be sick
. Fighting off the urge to vomit, Meredith put a palm to her mouth, and closed her eyes.

“It's over,” Hutch murmured. “He's gone. He'll never bother you and Ben again.”

“A tank . . .” She had to stop, clear her throat, start over. “If he ran into a tanker truck, I'm assuming there was an explosion.”

Hondo nodded. He came over to crouch in front of her, his kindly face furrowed with concern for her. “His body was badly burned.”

“But they were still able to identify him with dental records, right?” she said, the nausea waiting in the wings, threatening to overtake her.

“Unfortunately, the high heat of the fuel incinerated him.”

“So there was no positive identification that it was his body in that car,” she said.

“They did find some bone fragments that are awaiting DNA confirmation, but they are ninety-nine percent sure it was Vick Sloane's body in that car.”

“But there is at one percent chance they are wrong,” she said.

Hondo glanced helplessly at Hutch. She knew what the sheriff was thinking. She had been so traumatized by Sloane that she was irrational, and there was probably some truth to that. “Yes, there is that one percent chance someone else was in that car besides your ex-husband.”

“Then I can't truly relax until those DNA tests come back.” She met Hutch's eyes. There was no judgment there. Nor did he look like he was simply humoring her.

“Are you sure? DNA test are only 99.99 percent positive,” Hondo asked gently.

Meredith could tell the sheriff was not being sarcastic, simply pointing out her skewed thinking. When would proof ever be enough? At some point, she was going to have to take a leap of faith and assume it was true, that Sloane was indeed dead. Until she could do that, she could never fully move on with her life. She had to stop jumping at shadows. If she clung to the belief that Sloane was still alive she could never build a life with Hutch.

Letting go of her fear was a brave first step. She didn't yet feel it in her heart, but maybe she could fake it, and eventually, her heart would catch up with her brain.

She moistened her lips, raised her head, and squared her shoulders. “What's the next step?”

“It's time to get a lawyer,” Hondo said. “And make your arrest warrant disappear.”

I
t took a day or two for the news of her ex-husband's death to fully sink in, but almost immediately after Hondo left, Hutch noticed a change in Meredith. She started talking about the long-term future, something she'd never done before, and on Monday she made an appointment to speak to a lawyer after the New Year.

Gideon and Caitlyn had invited them to a New Year's Eve celebration, and the ensuing days leading up to the party were filled with relief and lighthearted joy. He and Meredith didn't want to confuse the children, so they did not share a bed in front of them, but at night after Kimmie and Ben were asleep, they rendezvoused in the spare bedroom upstairs and then returned to their own beds just before dawn.

During those heady days and nights, Hutch experienced the kind of happiness he'd never even dreamed was possible. They didn't get much sleep, but in spite of it, they seemed to have boundless energy and insatiable appetites for each other. He reveled in the way their bodies fit together so perfectly, and how his heart caught fire every time she gave him one of her slow, welcoming smiles.

He loved rolling over in his sleep, finding her there, tucking her into the curve of his arms, and smelling the sweet scent of her hair. To awaken before she did and lie there a long moment, studying her in the predawn light and wondering how he'd gotten so lucky. He delighted in her buttery lips and in knowing he could kiss them anytime he wanted. He kissed her when she headed off to work, usually in the pantry so the children couldn't see what they were up to.

He spent the days cleaning the house, cooking dinner, considering what new career to pursue, worrying about Ashley and Kimmie's future, all the while anxiously awaiting Meredith's return. He thrilled watching her read to the children at bedtime, and his heart gave a thump every time she looked up and caught him standing in the doorway. In the evenings, they played with the children together. One night building a tent out of blankets and camping out in the living room. Another night, pretending it was Old West days, the kids were wagon train scouts, and he and Meredith were the horses, prancing around the house with a laughing Kimmie and Ben on their backs.

Hutch couldn't get enough of wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her into his arms. Or giving her a taste from the fork or spoon of whatever he was cooking for dinner that night. Her sweet moans of
mmm
made him feel both sexual and appreciated.

He took her shopping to buy a new dress to wear to the party, and when she came skipping from the dressing room looking like a goddess in a golden sheath dress and high heels, his pulse took off like a Lamborghini. He'd never seen her dressed to the nines and he was bowled over anew at how completely beautiful she was.

They kept practicing yoga outside the bedroom, and inside the bedroom she taught him a few Tantric tricks that made him last far longer than he'd ever thought possible. With Meredith by his side, even mundane things like going to the grocery store and running errands were fun. He lived to do things for her—gas up her minivan, massage her feet after she'd had a long day, open the door for her, put a towel in the dryer to warm for her and slip it into the bathroom while she showered. Meredith was so sweet and feminine, so patient and kind. He couldn't get enough of her.

For those short few days leading up to January 1, Hutch's life was total bliss.

New Year's Eve arrived and they loaded the children into the car just after seven. Caitlyn and Gideon lived on a ranch south of Twilight, and they had hired babysitters to watch the children upstairs while the adults welcomed the New Year downstairs. Their hosts had decorated their rec room with New Year's banners and set up a makeshift stage for the four-piece country-and-western band they'd hired for the event. They'd also arranged for overnight accommodations or designated drivers for guests who enjoyed too much holiday merriment.

All during the party, Hutch couldn't stop looking at Meredith in that golden dress. The word “bombshell” didn't do her justice. She could have stepped off the red carpet of a 1940s movie premiere.

Neither of them had champagne. Meredith rarely drank because she'd needed to stay alert at all times, and Hutch had given up alcohol with his PTSD diagnosis. Instead, they danced the night away.

The other guests watched them dancing together, smiling and winking, whispering happily to one another behind their collective palms. He expected nothing less than his friends and neighbors to revel in his newfound joy. After all, Twilight was a town of romantics.

And hell, with the way Meredith made him feel, Hutch was becoming a full-fledged romantic himself.

Just before midnight, the band started playing, “For He's a Jolly Good Fellow.” Gideon went up on stage to grab the microphone, his eyes on Hutch.

Uh-oh. What was his buddy to up?

The band stopped playing.

“Igloo,” Gideon said, “this isn't just a New Year's Eve party. This is your official welcome home party.”

The band launched back into the song and everyone joined in, guests migrating into the rec room from other parts of the house to declare him a jolly good fellow.

After the music died down again, Gideon raised a hand. “You've worked hard to heal and it's paid off. You've regained your voice.”

A cheer went up from the group.

“We're so proud of you,” Gideon continued. “And how far you've come down a long, hard road.”

People came over to pound him on the back, shake his hand, express their appreciation. The glow from their praise was nice, but what lit Hutch's heart was when Meredith slipped her arm around his waist and rested her head against his shoulder.

Gideon tapped the microphone to get everyone's attention again. “We're not done yet, folks. Hutch, to thank you for your service to our country, my brother, we want to help you on your road to recovery.”

He looked down at Meredith. “Did you know about this?”

Her eyes crinkled with a happy smile and she nodded. “These people love you so much.”

Gideon motioned him forward. “We know there is a sacred mission you need to undertake in order to complete your healing and bring closure to the life you've left behind. We passed around the hat and scraped together enough money to pay for your trip.”

Floored by their generosity, he ducked his head, pausing to take a deep breath before looking up again. His chest ached in a good way and the tops of his ears tingled. It was a Christmas morning kind of tingle, full of anticipation and appreciation.

“The military teaches us that we're all teammates,” Gideon went on. “Therefore, Nate, Hondo, and I couldn't let you embark on your sojourn alone. We're all going with you.”

Hutch tapped a loose fist against the side of his chest and a sweetly strange sense of being at the center of the universe swept over him.

“And in case you're looking for something to do when you come home,” Gideon said, “Nate and I want to offer you a job at our security firm.”

Aw hell, aw damn.
What had he done to deserve such great friends?

“Speech!” someone yelled, and then the whole room picked up the chant. “Speech, speech, speech.”

Once upon a time Hutch would have glibly jumped up onto the stage, taken the microphone with a cocky bow, and proceeded to crack a joke or two, shrugging off the accolades. That had been his old style.

If they'd sprung this on him right after his return to Twilight in the wake of his forced discharge from the army, he would have gotten upset and stalked out, too enmeshed in anger and grief to gracefully accept the honor.

But tonight, with Meredith standing in the crowd looking at him with adoring eyes, he was deeply humbled by their moving tribute.

Feeling as graceful as an ox, he lumbered up onto the stage and accepted the microphone Gideon passed over to him.

Caitlyn and Flynn handed out flutes of champagne and sparkling cider.

Everyone in the room saluted him, eyes misted with tears. And damn if there wasn't a lump the size of Texas stuck in his throat, but he wasn't going to let that stop him from expressing his gratitude.

“Thank you,” Hutch said. “Thank you all so much for being my friends and putting up with me when I was less than hospitable, but I would not be able to stand here before you today if it weren't for one special woman who was able to see past my pain and fear and challenge me to readjust my thinking.”

Heads swiveled to stare at Meredith.

Hutch peered into her eyes and held out his hand. “Babe, you brought me back to life when I thought I was long past dead. Without you, I'm nothing. Please come up here with me. This is your victory too.”

Amid eardrum-busting applause, Meredith blushed prettily and came to take her place at his side.

Then just as the clock struck midnight, their friends toasted them as Hutch spun her into his arms and dipped her in a long, deep kiss that had everyone cheering.

O
n January 2, in the misty light of a platinum dawn, Hutch stood on the front porch in his Special Forces dress uniform, saying good-bye to Meredith. The children didn't return to school until Monday and they were still sound asleep. His truck engine was running, heating up the cab. After this, he'd pick up Gideon, Nate, and Hondo, and they'd drive to the airport together. They would leave his truck in long term parking at DFW. The plan was to fly into the major airports and then rent a car in each city so that they could drive to the homes of the families they intended on visiting.

She pressed a palm to his collar, ironing out imaginary wrinkles.

“I'm never going to wear this uniform again after this trip,” he said. “I'm done with killing.”

“I thought Delta Force didn't wear uniforms.”

“They don't, but the uniform represents the life of a soldier and that life is behind me. This is the last time. I'm closing the door of that chapter of my life, so I can start over healthy and peaceful.” He didn't add,
With you.
He wanted to so badly, but it was too soon. She needed time to fully trust him and the relationship they were building.

“From resentful wounded warrior to accepting, loving father.” She smiled a soft smile. “You've made quite the journey in a short amount of time, Brian Hutchinson. I'm so proud of you.”

“I'm not the only one who's changed.” He held her close, pressed his forehead to hers, and looked intently into her eyes. “I don't want to go.”

“You have to. Your transformation won't be complete without this step.”

“I know.”

“The sooner you go, the sooner you'll be home.”

“This is killing me.”

“Me too.”

They held each other tightly as if he was headed off to war. “I hate leaving you alone.”

“I'll be fine. Now that I don't have to worry about Sloane . . .” She shivered.

Hutch knew she still had her doubts about her ex-husband's death. Sometimes, she'd wake up in the middle of the night, thick in the throes of a nightmare, and he'd pull her snug against him, kiss her face, and tell her repeatedly that she was safe. He knew the effects of the abuse she'd suffered would linger for a long time to come. Just as he still battled his own demons. But each day, they were getting better, growing stronger because they had each other to lean on.

“He can never hurt you again,” Hutch said.

“I can't seem to shake the feeling that he's just around the corner waiting to spring. Please be patient with me.”

“Always.” He kissed her forehead. “Infinitely.”

“After you get back we'll go see the lawyer,” she said. “And discuss what to do about Ashley.”

“Yeah.” He cradled her hips in his palms. “We've got a lot to talk about when I get back.”

“Until then, just do what you have to do to get some closure.”

“Listen to me, babe. I know you're used to being independent, and I admire that about you, but you've got to promise me that if anything comes up, you'll go to Jesse and Flynn for help. Wrangling those two little ones by yourself isn't going to be easy.”

“I'll be fine.”

He captured her chin, tilted her face up. “Promise me, Meredith, that you won't try to go it alone.”

“I promise,” she murmured.

God, he hated going off and leaving her just when they were really starting to bond. He made sure his smile reached his eyes, gave her a teasing wink to ease up on the seriousness. She'd had enough doom and gloom to last her a lifetime, and he was determined to be her True North, as she called it. Right now, she needed his strength. “You know your nose will grow if you lie.”

“I swear, I'll ask for help.”

“Okay, because I don't want to come back and find you've got a schnozzle as long as an anteater's snout.”

She laughed past the mist dusting her lashes, and that was what he was going for because he could see she had been on the verge of tears.

“Aw babe,” he gathered her closer, pressing her lithe body against his hard muscles. “It's going to be all right. I'll be back before you know it.”

“Not if you don't ever leave,” she said, and gave him a little shove. “Go on now. Your buddies will be wondering where you're at.”

“They've all got women they're saying good-bye to. I image we're not the only ones standing on a porch in the cold.”

He gave her one long, hard, final kiss, and let her go, his lips tingling from the pressure and hot taste of her. “I'll call you from the road.”

Then before he could change his mind, Hutch rushed to the truck and drove away. The image of Meredith forlornly hugging the porch post burned into his brain.

On the spot, Hutch vowed that once he returned from this trip, he was never, ever going to leave her again.

M
eredith went back to work on Monday, the same day the children returned to school. She and Hutch talked every day on the phone. He had five families to visit. Five hometown main streets to drive. From the farmlands of York, Pennsylvania, to the manicured lawns of Galena, Illinois, to the cornfields of Crawford, Nebraska, to the mountains of Park City, Utah, and along the waterways of Seattle, Meredith and the children followed his journey on the map.