Chronicles of a Serial Dater - Book 3: A New Adult Romantic Comedy (3 page)

Zach turned and rested his foot on my stool, his leg hot against my thigh. In the cloak of darkness, his hand rested on my knee. “No sleepovers, no jealousy, no strings. If we’re both in the mood, we’ll arrange it by text and sneak away when Anette isn’t around.”

I let out a shuddering breath. With my brain subdued by booze, my body was free to explore this idea without much restraint… and I wanted it badly. Still, a voice in the back of my mind warned me.
You’re playing with fire.
The music was getting progressively louder, forcing us to lean closer to talk.

“We aren’t exactly the first people in the world to try this,” I said into his ear.

He studied my face before leaning in and replying. His cheek brushed against mine, the scent of his cologne so delicious my eyes rolled into the back of my head. “This is us we’re talking about. We got this.”

“I just don’t want to hurt you… or get hurt,” I said without thinking.

Zach grabbed both my hands and stared deep into my eyes. My heart thudded against my chest.
Oh God, he’s gonna kiss me. Holy shit, he’s gonna…

“I will never hurt you, Talia. If anyone in this world can do this, it’s us.”

I nodded, the truth of his words sinking in, coated with a generous helping of vodka. “Yeah, totally. So, uh, when should start?” I asked, hoping he’d say tonight.

“Well, I can pretend to go out for a smoke and then you follow a few minutes later. I’ll meet you at my apartment and…”

The moment was broken by Anette jumping in front of us on the other side of the bar. “What the hell is going on here?” she exclaimed. We both jumped back in surprise, looking as guilty as a pair caught arranging a secret sexual relationship. “Gah! I leave you alone for five minutes and you’re practically boinking on the bar!”

My heart froze. My mouth went dry. I couldn’t figure out how she’d managed to catch us before we’d even gotten a chance to kiss.
Oh my God… I’m going to kiss Zach…
my drunk brain trailed off.

“I’m kidding…” Anette said, looking between us like we’d suddenly suffered brain damage.

“Of course.” Zach recovered quickly. “
Pfft
. Talia can do so much better,” he said dropping my hands, keeping them from Anette’s line of sight. “Actually, we’re sobering up over here, so if you don’t mind…”

“No can do. I’m off early, so I’m here to close your tab,” she said with two obvious winks. “And after I cash out my drawer, I can join you!”

“Great,” I replied with as much cheer as I could muster.

After Anette took his card to fake-swipe, Zach and I glanced at each other and burst into laughter. “Well, so much for tonight,” I giggled.

“I can’t believe she just freakin’ cock-blocked me,” he said, shooting a fake glare down the bar at Anette.

“Well, me too! Wait, not cock-block. What’s a girl version?”

“Box out?”

“Oh, good! What about… clam dam!”

“Twat swat?”

“Oh my God,” I exclaimed, doubling over in laughter. “I thought she’d figured it all out!”

“Me too. We gotta be careful. We can’t go breaking rules before we’ve even started,” he smirked, making my legs go all quivery. “I’m gonna need time to figure out what makes Talia tick.”

Leave it to Anette to be completely freaking oblivious to the sexual tension between me and Zach. Just as we were putting on the final touches to our “friends who touch each other’s privates” rule book, she literally wedged herself between us.

“Did you see Amie in here earlier? Or did she leave before you guys got here?” she asked as she twirled the little red straw in her drink.

“Uh, no. Didn’t see her,” I replied, my gaze flicking to Zach’s. It was strange to have that kind of desire and heat directed toward me. Wave after wave of realizations crashed over me.
Zach and I are going to screw. Zach. Sexy, sitting right there, Zach.

Anette threw her head back and groaned. “Ugh. She’s so amazing. Absolutely amazing. She was wearing this top that looked painted on. Just, ba-boom,” she exclaimed holding her hands out in front of her chest. She elbowed Zach and gave him a sleazy grin. “You know what I’m talking about.”

He blinked at her a couple times, obviously not listening. He glanced down at her impression of Dolly Parton tits and nodded. “Oh yeah, definitely.”

Anette chewed on the straw and looked thoughtfully at the row of liquor bottles on the back of the wall. “It’s not that she’s just panty-soaking hot, either. She’s such a sweet person, but in a way she doesn’t realize she’s being so sweet, you know?”

For the next ten minutes, we let Anette gush about Amie, the girl she’d been pining after for a few months now. Our only participation was the occasional nod or vague comment. Instead, we were carrying on our own non-verbal conversation.

When she moved to look into the crowd, Zach took the opportunity to physically pull my stool closer to him. He subtly shifted his arm behind me onto the bar and kept still as she turned back. Anette was so fully self-absorbed, she didn’t even notice I was a full foot to the left.

“Sorry, thought I heard her voice. Anyway, enough about me. How was your date with the war hero?”

Oh my God, that was tonight?
I thought. With everything that’d happened between me and Zach, that date was so far in my rear-view mirror it could’ve been in Canada.

“Well, you know. Not the greatest,” I started, fighting through the cloud of alcohol and arousal to remember what the guy had even done. But in a flash it came back to me and I knew I had to share this one with her. “Oh, get this. First of all, he doesn’t actually use a wheelchair. He just says he does. It’s apparently a test he uses on girls to find out how shallow they are.”

Anette screwed her face up like she’d walked past an open sewer. “That’s sleazy. You didn’t walk out right then and there?”

I looked skyward, trying to recall why I hadn’t. “Honestly, the way he explained it at the time seemed perfectly reasonable. He was really…” My voice squeaked as my thought trailed off. In the cloak of darkness, Zach’s fingers had begun tracing light circles across the bare skin on my back. My brain couldn’t handle the sensation and speaking at the same time.

“He was really…” Anette repeated, looking at me oddly.

“Uh, he was… normal! He seemed normal,” I managed to get out. The heat from Zach’s hand was pulling any rational thought from my mind.

Anette frowned and studied me closely. “Doesn’t sound very normal to me. So, you’re not gonna see him again?”

“No, definitely not.”

“And what about you, studmuffin? You’ve been on a few dates lately. Any catches?”

Zach spoke as his index finger snaked up the center of my neck into my hair, splashing a wave of shivers across my skin. “Not really. You know me, never looking for anything serious.”

“And that’s exactly how it should be,” Anette declared, pointing a finger at both of us. “We’re young! We shouldn’t be worried about settling down, wasting the prime years of our life on one person. We should be whoring ourselves out, sampling from the buffet of bodies.”

“Amen,” Zach laughed, lifting his glass in a salute before taking a sip. He met my eye over the rim and I had to quickly look away before I melted on the spot.

“I need to pee,” she abruptly declared and walked away.

The moment she disappeared into the crowd, Zach moved in on me. He made it look casual and platonic, a friend leaning in to talk into another friend’s ear, but it was so much more. With his left hand moving from my neck, down my arm, and around to the small of my back, he drew close.

“What do you think the chances are we can ditch her and get back to my place without her knowing?” His lips grazed my ear, breath hot on my skin.

A tightness grew in my throat at the anticipation. “Slim to none.”

He moved his hand lower, shifting under the thin fabric of my shirt to reach bare skin. I arched my back, mouth opening a fraction as I looked deep into his eyes. He quickly dipped his head to my ear to cover my reaction. “You sure you can’t come up with anything?”

At this point, I was running purely on instinct. My eyes traveled to the right, focusing on the bulge between his legs. If we hadn’t been in a bar where we knew all the staff and half the customers, I would’ve jumped him then and there. Instead, I grabbed his hand from behind my back and slid off the stool.

“Text her on the way to say we’re going for pizza or something, but be super vague and drunk about it. Then we can slip away and act like she must’ve just missed us.”

To my surprise, Zach hung behind. “But that’ll only buy us a few minutes before she freaks out and tries to find us. You know how she is.”

“It’ll be fine, come on,” I said, tugging him toward the door again. Instead, he gave me a strong tug back, pulling me as close as he could to his body without us actually touching.

“It’s not fine. I want to take my time. The things I want to do to you will take hours, not minutes,” he breathed, staring at my mouth.

My core tightened as I unconsciously bit my lip in response. In my drunken state, I briefly wondered if I might be able to sneak a kiss without anyone noticing. Before I had a chance to act, Anette reappeared.

“I’m freakin’ beat. Let’s go home. And you,” she said, pointing a finger straight into my chest, “have the important job of keeping me away from Rob as we leave. Two times in a month with this sweet piece might just kill the man and I’m
horny!
”

“I know what you mean,” I muttered.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so turned on and unsatisfied in my life. Walking those few blocks back to the apartment with Zach had my panties soaked with anticipation. He was so tantalizingly close, yet impossible to touch.

Anette blabbed the entire way home, mostly about Amie. Out of horny irritation I nearly pointed out that she was contradicting herself almost in the same breath. One minute she was exclaiming how wonderful single life was but at the same time obviously expressing strong feelings for this girl. She was saying one thing, doing another, and worst of all, keeping me from getting laid.

Zach lingered on the landing as Anette worked the key into the front door. “So, uh, you wanted to borrow that…” he started, scratching the back of his neck.

I was slow to catch on but jumped right in with the ploy. “Right, the book!”

“Yeah, I think I know where it is,” he grinned as I turned to follow him upstairs.

Anette grabbed my wrist and pulled me away. “It’s nearly one in the morning,” she squinted.

“So?”
Please let me go upstairs. Please. If I have an ounce of mind control in me, please just do this one thing.

“So? This is prime booty calling time. You gotta keep me locked down in case I try to text Amie,” she said as if it were the most obvious problem in the world. The look I gave Zach must’ve tipped her off something was up. “Wait a second…” My breath caught in my throat.
We haven’t even had sex yet and she’s already figured it out,
I thought, waiting for the axe to drop. “You own a book?” she joked.

“Ha. Ha,” he replied dryly. I could hear my own disappointment echoed in his voice. But when he added, “I guess you can always get it tomorrow,” it was quickly replaced by excitement.

“Yeah, yeah. Nighty night,” Anette called out as she pulled me into the apartment.

I caught a glimpse of his broad smile just as the door clicked shut and cursed Anette silently in my head.