City of Champions (42 page)

"Correct," Wyatt answered.

"But even the appearance of impropriety is a risk. We can't have this kind of negative attention."

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this right. I'll do free advertising for the department. I’ll volunteer my time. Whatever you need."

"That certainly is an intriguing offer," Dr. West added. "Our relationship with the Roughnecks is a source of great pride to the department."

"Thank you, Mr. McCoy," the oldest one added. "We will take your comments under consideration."

He’d then waited in the hall for Jenna to have her meeting with them, only briefly catching sight of her as she walked into the room. She hadn't spotted him, but he could tell from the straight line of her shoulders and stern set of her jaw, she was trying to hide deep sadness — hurt
he
had put there.

Jenna finally emerged from the room. Her perfectly sculpted face was twisted in grief and pain. He'd let her down, made her feel wounded and betrayed. That knowledge twisted in his gut, making every breath more painful than the last. He stalked toward her, feeling a moment of relief when she didn't immediately sprint in the other direction.

"Hi, Wyatt," she said faintly. Her blue eyes lacked some of their usual brightness, but she held his gaze.

He slowed his steps, walking to her carefully, fighting the urge to grab her and hold her close to him. Wyatt didn't want to risk pushing what little luck he might have left with her.

"You look so beautiful, Jenna. I’ve missed you." She was wearing the earrings he gave her and his heart felt like pure oxygen had just been released on a dying fire. He could hear her breath catch in her throat. She looked away from him as she shrugged on her coat and smoothed back some hair that had escaped from her sensible bun.

Finally, she asked, "So, I guess you helped me in there?"

"Yes. Are you able to go back to work right away?"

"No, but I think my medical license may be safe. I've been asked to take a brief leave of absence. Richard — Dr. West — knows about my surgery tomorrow. He'll have my leave overlap with my recovery. Not sure what that will do to my fellowship hopes, but that's the least of my concerns right now," she replied, looking away from him again, and his whole chest tightened at how lost she appeared.

"Jenna, talk to me," Wyatt said softly, reaching for her, but hesitating before actually touching her.

"It appears I'm not cut out for risk-taking after all," she mused over a mirthless laugh.

"It'll be okay…I promise. Whatever I can do to get you back on track for that fellowship…" he declared, finally allowing himself to touch her shoulders and wrap her in his embrace.

At first, she let him hold her. He could feel her relax against him. She breathed him in, while he inhaled the familiar scent of her hair. Yet, just as quickly, she shook him off and stepped backwards from him.

"Wyatt, I need you to be honest with me. Is it true? The article? Was that why you went after me so hard? To sway my opinion about your shoulder?"

His mouth started working its way around a lie, but he fought it back.

"I had nothing to do with that article, or those pictures. You have to believe me about that."

"You didn't answer my questions. Is the article accurate?"

"What the article said was true, about my plans. What I hoped I could get you to do. But I never intended to hurt you. It wasn't about that."

"What was it about, then? Was your plan to fuck me then discredit me? Make me look like some kind of spurned psycho, so you could keep your precious position?"

"No. It wasn't like that at all. You really think that of me?" he said, so low that it was unclear even to him if he was growling or talking.

"I don't know what to think, Wyatt! Don't you get it?" she shouted, and he immediately saw her try to calm herself down.

He turned and roughly ran his hands through his hair. When he looked back, her expression had relaxed slightly and it made his heart soar with hope, only to crash down when he had to speak again.

"I just thought that with more time, Jenna, you’d decide on your own to help me out."

"How could you even imagine I would do that? Compromise my medical opinion?"

"I'm stubborn and stupid. I figured you just needed to know me better.
Spend some time with me. See me in action.
"

"And that I'd care about you?"

"If that helped you see clearly, I guess I would've been okay with that. I know that sounds awful, but I was desperate. I feel so terrible to see you hurt now. It's killing me. Initially, I wanted everything — to stay on the team so I could get the best contract possible to look after my family for as long as I could. But then I wanted you, too, so I did whatever I could to have you."

"
Oh, so you wanted it all? Well that makes it all okay."

"It’s not okay, I know that. Come on, stop being sarcastic."

"All those times you wanted to talk about surgery, and my knee injury…it was all part of the plan?"

"Yes." She cringed at his brutal honesty, but he went on, "But I know we can get through this. We can take that leave of absence and I'll help you recover. After your surgery, we can start over."

"I don’t think there is a
we
anymore," she muttered, looking down.

"Jenna…"

"I don't think I can start over, Wyatt. How can I trust you after all of this? I wish I didn't love you. That I could say I don't want to see you again. That I don't want to know you, but…"

"You can't say it because it's not true. You're the most honest person I know." 

"And I honestly feel like I'm dying inside. You thought you could will your shoulder into feeling better. Now you think you can will me into forgiving you. You want to call an audible — adjust the play on the field and everything will be better. That's not going to work this time. Those pictures? They were every moment we were together."

"Olivia did that all on her own. We can't let one person's actions take what we have from us."

"Even if I believe that to be true, it wasn't her actions that broke my heart. It was yours. Your words gave her the lead she needed."

"Jenna, I hate that you're in pain, but you have to listen…"

"No, Wyatt. I've
been
listening, but I haven't heard you once say you regret what you did. You just hate that you got caught. You can't even imagine how much it hurts to have the whole world laugh at me like this. Do you have any idea how long it took me to get here?  How much more I have to do? This isn't a game!" Jenna finally shouted, only to breathe out slowly and let her shoulders slump down.

"Believe me, people will lose interest. A new story will come along."

"It'll never be the same for me. I'm always going to be that lady doctor you used. That's how the world will see me
forever
. You've lived your whole life in the spotlight, but I haven't. I'm not cut out for this."

"I don't want to give up whatever chance we may have to be happy together."

"Why didn't you think about that when you kept this from me? New Year’s Eve…I thought we agreed to have no more secrets."

"I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't risk you pushing me away with your surgery coming up. You need me."

"Maybe I do, but I'm going to have to learn how to live without you."

"Jenna…" He reached for her and she slapped his hand down.

"No! I give up, Wyatt. I give up." Her voice caught again and Wyatt couldn't decide what he felt more — panic or heartache. Nausea was pretty prevalent, too.

"Don't say that, please. I told you, I didn't have anything to do with Olivia's story."

"Even if you didn't help her with it, at the least you set this horrible machine in motion. And that tank just rolled right over me."

"I can make it okay. Let's just go back to New Year’s morning."

"That's simply not possible."

"How can you be so matter-of-fact about all this?"

"Because these
are
the facts, Wyatt!" Her voice raised an octave and there was something about the hint of hysteria in it that made him think he had a chance. It was when he broke her cool demeanor that he was most able to get through to her.

"The
fact
is that I'm crazy about you and I want to make this better. Don't you want to see what we can be? We can fight this. I can fight this. I
will
make it right."

Jenna swallowed hard and said roughly, "We don't always get what we want in life. Fighting just makes it hurt more."

"You don't want me?
"

"I wish that were true, but you know it's not. It would be easier if I could go back to the day before I met you. But I don't want that. So, I'm screwed, because how can you think I would just move on from this? What you did was so wrong. So humiliating! I was so scared you would break my heart, Wyatt. I suppose I had this coming. I knew better."

"Stop it. Don't be like that. Please. I'm not giving up on us. I'll do whatever it takes to stay here and be near you. I promise."

"I want to believe you, but it feels like us…this, it was all fool's gold, shiny on the outside, but inside just a sham. And I'm the sucker who believed it was real — believed you loved me."

"You're not a fool and it wasn't a sham. I do love you," he growled.

Tears welled in her eyes. This time, she did run. He hurried after her to the parking lot.

"Jenna, stop." He grabbed her arm, and when she looked down at his hand, her bottom lip quivered, either from cold or emotion, he couldn't tell. Though he was sure his own insides were on fire. "You know I'm in love with you. I’m crazy about you."

"Wyatt, you've lied to me so much. How can I trust you again? Any time I've loved someone, I got so hurt. My mom, Cha—"

Wyatt swallowed hard at the realization she could equate him with a monster like Chase, that he thought he'd digested his own Adam's apple.

"Jenna, I promise…"

"No more promises, Wyatt. This is my career. My heart. My
life
. And you ruined it. You ruined us…you ruined everything," she added with a desolate whisper.

"I'll figure something out. I'm a part of your life."

"You'll always be a part of me, but I don't think I can let you be in my life."

"Jenna. Please. You need me. Let me be there for you. Just a couple more days — at least until the surgery is all done. You kept secrets from me, too. You waited forever to tell me you're sick."

The sadness left her eyes, with rage quickly replacing it.

"You son of a bitch. How
dare
you compare the fact I could have the same disease that killed my mother, to your selfish obsession with playing this fucking game on your own goddamn terms?"

She brought her hand back and swung at his face to slap him, but he grabbed her wrist and yanked her to him quickly. He whispered roughly in her ear.

"It's not like that, belleza. It's not. I just mean we do things to protect the ones we love. Maybe my actions were wrong, and my motives, too, at the beginning. But I'll do anything to keep you. That's why I kept lying. You didn't want to hurt me, that's why you kept yours."

She was letting go like she'd done every time he held her. He breathed in her incredible fresh scent and began to press her completely against him. "I need you, Jenna."

"No! Let me go. I can't…" she cried out, pushing him away, almost knocking the wind out of him.

"Belleza." She shook him off, but before he could grab for her again, he felt a strong hand pull him back.

"What the hell?" Wyatt yelled.

"Let her go, man. Haven't you hurt her enough?"

"You brought
Trey
with you? Are you with him? Are you trying to punish me?"

"I told you there's nothing between us. Christ, you're seriously going to pull that jealous shit now?" she asked in an exasperated tone, throwing her hands up.

"No, I just… Fuck. You know what I mean."

"Fine. Trey was worried about the press. He thought I might need protection."

"She's right, and I'm still worried about them, so how about you let us go and just accept that you lost this time, all right, man?"

I really hate this fucking guy,
Wyatt thought as his hands curled into fists.

"I just want to talk to her for a minute."

The words were getting harder for him to squeeze out. Trey was right. He was losing — big time. He wished he could call a play and dictate the movements of everyone in front of him. But this wasn't a game, and he'd never be able to control her.

"Just let me go, Wyatt. It's too late."

He couldn't —
wouldn't
— do that. He reached for her and wrapped his fingers around her firm arm. She just shook her head.

"You know I feel awful, Jenna. Nothing was supposed to happen like this. That wasn't my intention."

"Yeah, I feel pretty bad, too." Jenna moved away, but Wyatt was desperate and couldn't bring himself to release her.

"Let her go, man," Trey growled at him.

Wyatt looked over at him, sizing him up as an opponent. He was so crazed, it suddenly seemed like he was capable of anything. Wyatt stared Trey down. The guy was a little shorter than him, if just by a couple of inches, but he looked pretty jacked for a regular guy. To his credit, Trey looked unfazed.

"I said I just want another minute to talk to her, asshole."

"The only asshole I see is the one in front of me. You fucked this up, now you're going to let her go. That's how this works. But I'd love it if you gave me some trouble, because I've wanted to beat the shit out of you since I heard what you did, so it's all good for me."

"Fuck off," Wyatt simply responded. Trey was keeping Wyatt from Jenna, and talking sense into her, and that was all that mattered. He released Jenna's arm and pushed Trey out of the way.

Wyatt was met with a hard right hook to his jaw that made lights burst behind his eyelids and his teeth shake inside his mouth.