Class (20 page)

“Nice earmuffs,” she called out. “Hey, Shipley, have you seen Adam?”

“He’s in the auditorium. They’re just finishing up.” Shipley thought it best not to explain that she had barely spoken to Adam. Tragedy would not approve.

“Good.” Tragedy smoothed down the flyer. “Then he can drive my ass home.” She cocked an eyebrow at Shipley. “Unless
you guys want to give me a ride.”

Eliza snorted. Shipley glared at her. “Sorry, my car’s…unavailable.”

Tragedy slung her hand through the roll of tape like a bracelet. “Okay. Well, see you Saturday,” she said. “And don’t forget to bring a blanket. It’s supposed to be warm as summer.”

Tragedy’s long legs propelled her toward the Student Union. Shipley stared after her. Eliza went over to examine the flyer.

“It’s a party,” she said. “Saturday night. The flyer’s sort of old-fashioned. It’s kind of cute. It says there’s going to be refreshments and horseshoes and sheep-tipping.” She giggled. “It also says to bring a date.” She turned back to Shipley. “Who’re you gonna bring?”

16

E
ven the most bucolic college suffers from bouts of nerves, when tension takes hold and rocks its pretty brick buildings on their foundations. This biannual occurrence is also known as review week. Students slog through cram sessions or camp out in the library in a vain attempt to acquire an entire semester’s worth of knowledge in only seven days. If they’d cut class or slacked off and forgotten to read certain critical texts, this is their opportunity to catch up.

Clusters of students could be found huddled in Dexter’s Starbucks café, madly quizzing each other and pumping themselves full of caffeine.

“Describe the events of D-Day.”

“What is the area of the region bounded by the curves y = x
²
and y = 1?”

“Briefly describe one of Little Hans’s dreams or fantasies from Freud’s famous study.”

“Define
Logos, ethos
, and
pathos
.”

“Which type of mineral deposits are segregated by density?”

Becky, Kelly, and Brianna, that inseparable threesome from the all-girls dorm, had promised each other to give up carbs until break. These unlucky girls had fallen prey to the dreaded Freshman Fifteen. Their pink sweatshirts clung to their newly fleshed-out forms, the hems stretched and frayed from being tugged down unflatteringly over the rear ends of their obscenely tight jeans.

“I could kill for a scone right now,” Becky would moan, staring into the glass case at Starbucks.

“Be strong,” Kelly would tell her loyally.

“Only one more week,” Brianna would remind them. “Think how much better those scones will taste after exams are over.”

“Think how thin we’ll be,” Kelly would add.

“Maybe Lucas will notice me then,” Becky would say miserably.

“Quiet!” someone would shout. “Can’t you see we’re studying here?”

Apart from pastries, academics seemed to be the only thing on everyone’s mind. Well, almost everyone.

Portraiture I’s open studio began at 4
P.M.
on Saturday, only an hour before curtain time for
The Zoo Story
. Most of the paintings hanging in the cavernous art studio were nudes of Eliza in all manner of erotic poses. Eliza had expanded her job description from model to wine steward for the occasion. Her heavy black boots resounded on the wood floor as she tromped around the studio pouring white wine into plastic cups.

Candace and Andrew Ferguson stood in front of their son’s gigantic portrait of his girlfriend. They’d driven up from Bedford that morning and had arrived on campus only minutes before.

“Is that a squid in her hair?” Mrs. Ferguson whispered to her husband. “And why are her teeth blue? Or are those her fingers?”

Mr. Ferguson furrowed his bushy gray eyebrows. “Where’s Tom?” he demanded.

“His play starts in an hour. I’m sure we’ll see him after,” Mrs. Ferguson soothed. “Here’s his girlfriend now. Be nice,” she warned. “She’s probably embarrassed to have her naked body all…
rearranged
like this. Especially in front of us.”

Tom’s mother was under the assumption that Shipley had already seen Tom’s painting. Not so.

“Hello.” Shipley kissed each of Tom’s parents on the cheek before turning to the portrait. “Oh,” she gasped and cupped her face with her hands.

She needn’t have worried about her thighs, or even that she was naked. Except for the neat white card tacked beneath the painting—“Shipley, December 1992”—she was virtually unrecognizable. Nothing was where it ought to have been and nothing was the color it was in nature. Her belly button was a green eye lodged between her breasts. One breast faced forward, an overripe yellow gourd, the other lilted to the side, a shriveled plum. Her legs were black talons sprouting from her stomach, her hair a mass of purple tentacles. And, in the middle of everything, an inexplicable red Macy’s bag—the only thing left unchanged.

“You made it!” Eliza bounded over and kissed Tom’s mother and father on the cheek. She poured each of them a glass of wine.

“What do you think?” Shipley asked her roommate, nodding at Tom’s painting.

“Well, it could be worse,” Eliza said. “At least you can’t see your cooter. Or maybe you can, but no one will ever know that’s what it is.”

“It’s very different,” Mrs. Ferguson offered.

“A major contribution.” Tom’s art teacher, Mr. Zanes, sidled up to them, sucking on a lollipop. Greasy tendrils of white hair
clung to his drooping ears. “Shows you what can happen if you allow yourself to let go.”

“So this is good?” Mr. Ferguson frowned at the painting.

Mr. Zanes nodded, the lollipop bulged inside his cheek. “I would say so.”

“We should be proud?” Tom’s mother asked.

“I’m proud,” Shipley offered. Just because she didn’t like the painting didn’t mean it wasn’t good.

Mrs. Ferguson touched her elbow. “We’re going to the Lobster Shack for dinner after the play. We’re hoping you’ll come too.”

The Lobster Shack was a Maine fixture where Dexter students took their parents to gorge on whole lobsters, baked clams, and French fries, and returned stinking of fish and grease. Shipley’s mother wouldn’t dream of going there. Too fattening, too smelly, too déclassé.

“I’d love to,” Shipley said.

M
eanwhile, Tom was getting ready for the play in the only way he knew how. The Grannies had run out of E. Stealing ether from the Chemistry lab was the next best thing.

“Ether is different,” Liam warned. “It doesn’t last. And you have to really go to town to feel the effects. It’s a short-term out-of-body super-high.”

“Sounds fine,” Tom said. All he knew was he could not stand up in front of an audience, pretend to get stabbed, and smear himself with fake blood, without the aid of chemicals.

“The Robin Hood thing is what I like about it,” Grover enthused on their way across campus. “Stealing from the rich and giving to…us.”

“Don’t worry, Geoff knows what he’s doing,” Wills whispered as the four boys tiptoed into Crowley, Dexter’s science building. The building was unlocked, suggesting that there were other life forms on the premises.

Geoff Walker, ether-knapping expert, was waiting for them. Tom had only ever seen the pale, wasted, ponytailed Geoff jogging the five-mile loop around campus or scraping the wax off Granny Smith apples in the dining hall. It was almost incomprehensible that he ever did anything else.

Tom pressed the button for the elevator. Geoff shook his anorexic head gravely. “That is not your destiny,” he said, leading the way to the fire stairs.

The ether was kept in a locked storeroom in the largest lab, on the fourth floor. Geoff had the key.

“I cut keys with my nail clippers,” he explained.

“Can we hurry this up?” Tom said. “I have to be onstage in half an hour.”

Inside the storeroom, two sizable brown glass bottles stood waiting on the shelf. The label read “Diethyl Ether,” and beneath that was a picture of red flames with the word “flammable” in black.

“No smoking,” Geoff warned. He removed one bottle from the shelf, unscrewed the top, and took a whiff. “Ah,” he said, smiling for the first time. He recapped the bottle and handed it to Tom. The other bottle he wrapped in a spare white lab coat and placed gingerly into his backpack.

“If you want to feel it while you’re up there, you’ve got to do it right before you go on,” Wills advised as he led the way back downstairs. “Just pour some on a rag and inhale.”

Tom held onto the bottle in his pocket. “Got it,” he said. He’d been on edge all day. Hopefully this would help.

“Here, you can use this,” Grover said when they were outside. He removed the red bandanna from his shaved head and handed it to Tom. “Good luck, son.”

Wills gave Tom a high five. “You’re the shit.”

Liam pulled Tom into a bear hug. “Break a leg.”

“Bonne chance,”
said Geoff.

Tom headed off on his own toward the Student Union. The setting sun looked like Tang-flavored crude oil, dripping from the treetops. It was already December, but the weather was freakishly warm. The quad was littered with tired, overcaffeinated students sprawled on top of their discarded parkas, taking a break from cramming to enjoy the sunset. The day’s last gunshots resounded in the woods beyond campus as hunters all over Maine enjoyed the weather and brought in their seasonal quota of deer, quail, grouse, pheasant, fox, coyote, squirrel, raccoon, woodchuck, and rabbit. At midday the thermometer had skyrocketed to seventy degrees. Around midnight the temperature was set to drop, and a heavy snowfall would commence.

For his costume, Tom had settled on a plain white undershirt, a pair of black suit pants without a belt, and his battered Stan Smith tennis sneakers with no socks. Jerry seemed like the kind of guy who would pick up a pair of suit pants from the Salvation Army because he thought they would last a long time and they cost only fifteen cents. Tom thought he looked sort of like Marlon Brando in one of his old movies—Brando with a big bottle of diethyl ether in his pocket. He quickened his pace. He’d have to hurry if he wanted to get thoroughly intoxicated before the curtain rose.

O
ut in the Student Union visitors parking lot, Adam leaned into the open passenger-side window of his parents’ pickup and
stole a french fry out of the greasy McDonald’s bag Tragedy had been carrying around with her all day.

“I can’t believe you said there’d be horseshoes,” he muttered.

Tragedy rolled her eyes. “The party will rock. You’ll see.”

Eli Gatz switched off the ignition and pulled on his droopy gray mustache. His blue eyes were wide and excited-looking. Adam could tell his father was nervous for him. Acting in a play was not something Eli had taken on during his tenure at Dexter. In fact, he hadn’t taken on much except Ellen and tab upon tab of LSD.

“Son, why don’t you run in and get ready?” Eli said. “We’ll stay here while your sister finishes her snack.”

Ellen sat in the middle of the pickup’s crowded cab, her stocky legs straddling the gearbox. “Her revolting snack,” she said, holding her nose.

“That’s what you get for raising me organic,” Tragedy quipped, stuffing her face.

Ellen leaned across Tragedy’s lap and admired her handsome son. Adam wore a gently worn charcoal gray 1960s J. Press suit, courtesy of Family Clothes of Yesteryear. She’d bought a genuine raccoon fur coat for herself at the same time, just for a hoot.

“You look very smart, hon. We’re taking off for your Uncle Laurie’s right after the play. So break a leg, and have a wonderful party, but try to keep it in the barn,” she warned. “Or trash the house and get a girl pregnant—just don’t come whining to me about it.”

“Don’t worry, Mom,” Adam said.

A group of students headed inside the Student Union.

“Stay gold, Pony Balls.” Tragedy made the sign of the cross in the air with a french fry.

“Okay, see you guys.” Adam buttoned the middle button of his suit jacket and stepped away from the pickup, his body stiff
with nerves. He and Tom really did have the play memorized, and Professor Rosen had been all smiles at rehearsal, but it was bound to feel different in front of a live audience—in front of
her
.

Oddly enough, their nightly rehearsals this past week had been almost therapeutic. Every night he got right up close to his jealousy and resentment instead of moping alone in his room. And each night Tom seemed more and more unhinged, muttering to himself and voraciously chewing gum, with paint all over his oversized, expensive clothes. Tom’s behavior gave Adam just the tiniest smidgen of hope. Wouldn’t Shipley prefer to be with someone clean and sane?

Professor Rosen was waiting for him backstage with two copies of
The Zoo Story
tucked under her arm. She wore a black turtleneck and pleated black corduroys. Her shiny short brown hair was parted on the side and combed neatly behind her ears. She looked very theatrical.

“Peter! You’re here.” The professor had gotten into the habit of addressing them by their stage names.

“Adam. It’s Adam.”

“Yes, well. Jerry is here too. So as soon as you’re ready I’ll go out and introduce you.”

Tom was seated on the wooden park bench where Adam was supposed to sit throughout the play, holding a red bandanna over his mouth and nose. Eyes closed, he inhaled deeply.

“Are you okay?” Adam asked.

Tom nodded, keeping his eyes closed. He inhaled again. Adam thought he could smell paint thinner.

“I’m going to introduce you now,” Professor Rosen said. She held up the copies of the play. “If for any reason you’d feel more comfortable reading from the text, that’s fine too.”

Adam and Tom shook their heads.

“Well, just know I have these, if you get into trouble.” The professor blew them a kiss. “Good luck, boys.”

Tom stood up abruptly and left the stage. Adam took a seat on the bench, his shoulders slumped. The lights went out. A single beam shone upon the red velvet curtain. Inside the glass-fronted lighting booth at the back of the modern, three-hundred-seat auditorium, Nick sneezed explosively.