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Authors: Mary Jane Maffini

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BOOK: Closet Confidential
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Don’t overlook your public library as a great source of organizing books and magazines. You can always purchase copies of the ones you can’t live without.
I arrived at the home of my other new client ten minutes early. I like to build in a time buffer in case of traffic. I sat in the car and used the buffer to check my voice mail.
At ten sharp I knocked at the door of the faded bungalow. The paint was peeling slightly, and the awnings showed rust at the edges. Still, the lawn was neatly kept, and the place had a welcoming air about it. A pair of hanging baskets held impatiens in a riot of color. I felt a cheerful vibe about this home.
The door swung open and a round smiling face greeted me. I swear the woman actually bubbled. “I am so glad you are here! I can’t wait. Come in! Bluto is very excited to meet you, too.”
Beside her a golden retriever wagged his tail furiously, waiting—without much patience—to be stroked.
I stepped through the door into a home: a real home, not just a house. Unlike Lorelei and Harry’s glamorous glass and metal sculpture, this was a place where people lived and loved and relaxed. I always approve of that. A stack of sports gear was contained by a plastic bin in the front hall. Four pairs of running shoes—in giant sizes—sat on a mat near the front door.
Wow
, I thought,
who lives here and what species are they?
“I made some—” She stopped herself. “Oh boy. I almost forgot to introduce myself. I’m Wendy Dykstra.” She ran a hand through her curly salt-and-pepper hair.
I grinned. “In that case, I must be Charlotte.”
“Everybody in Woodbridge knows you after . . .” She turned pale and averted her eyes.
“Don’t worry,” I said soothingly, “I’m well aware that in the last year and a half I’ve been all over the WINY news showing up on every television in town looking crazed and dangerous.”
“You don’t look
dangerous
,” she interjected. “And not crazed, either.”
“I’ve seen the tapes. I’ve adjusted to it. Anyway, this is the real me. Sort of normal.”
“I got your name from Rose Skipowski. She was a pal of my mom’s, and she speaks so highly of you. She said you solved the second biggest problem of her life.”
“Rose is a good friend. Makes great cookies, too.”
“Oh boy, that reminds me. I whipped up some ice tea for you and lemon squares, too. Please come in and have a seat.”
I would have liked to take a peek at Wendy’s kitchen. Sometimes you get an idea of how the household is run by checking that, but I am well aware of the etiquette of waiting until asked. People need to keep their dignity when allowing someone like me to see into their darkest organizational problems. It also pays to see their living rooms. Wendy’s was a celebration of her family. A wedding picture of a much younger Wendy and a huge grinning groom sat on the mantel. It shared space with larger framed photos of three boys who took after their father: big lads with oversize grins. All of the photos seemed to involve sporting events or graduations.
The coffee table held magazines:
Woman’s Day
,
National Geographic
, and
Sports Illustrated.
Wendy was back in a flash with a glistening pitcher of ice tea and lemon squares that looked like they’d melt in my mouth.
“I am so nervous,” she said, putting the plate of lemon squares on the Formica coffee table. “This is a big deal for me.”
“Please don’t be worried.”
“I know I’m going to feel pretty goofy when such an organized person sees the state of my closets.”
“If it’s any consolation, I could no more make lemon squares like these than I could fly.”
“They’re as easy as pie.”
“I can’t make pie, either, although I could eat one all by myself.”
Wendy passed me a napkin with the image of a golden retriever. I had a feeling there would be more retriever icons around the place. I wasted no time in testing the lemon squares. Perfect. The ice tea was perfect, too. I made a bet with myself that Wendy was a woman with firm priorities and that she herself came well down the list of those priorities.
I said, “These are fabulous, so tangy.”
“One other thing that’s kind of embarrassing,” Wendy said.
Of course, I’d popped my second lemon square and my mouth was full. I lifted my eyebrows to indicate that she should go on.
“I, um, don’t have a lot of money for this project.”
I nodded.
“Money is tight because we have three boys in college.”
This time I managed to say, “Expensive time of life.”
“They all work part-time during the term, and Seth is able to live at home, but Aaron and Jason are at Cornell. Jason has a scholarship, but we’re scrimping. I’m not complaining. I think it’s the best investment we could ever make, and our boys deserve everything we can do for them.”
I nodded again. Nodding is a good way to keep the conversation going.
Wendy continued. “What I’m trying to say is that my hubby and the boys chipped in to give me a hundred dollars and told me to get as much closet advice as I could for that. Is that nuts?”
“Not at all.”
“I realize now that I should have told you this before. You probably charge that much to look at a place.”
“Well, I sure won’t be charging you for the time and opportunity to eat these fabulous squares. But let me have a look at what we’re dealing with, and I’ll give you the best value I can. You may have to do some of the groundwork yourself, but we’ll make that one hundred dollars go as far as we can.”
“Thank you! I’ll throw in the recipe for the squares, if that helps.”
“Sure does.” Maybe I could talk Sally into making them.
I smiled and raised an eyebrow at Wendy. “Let’s have a look. If I stay here any longer, I might even eat the plate those squares came on.”
“All right,” she said, “but I’ll be holding my breath.”
The bungalow had three bedrooms, and it must have been bursting when those boys were all under the roof.
Wendy said as I followed her down the hallway, “Luckily my boys spend a lot of time in the rec room downstairs. You must be wondering if anyone can even inhale in this space.”
I admired the framed photos of the boys that decorated the hallway walls. “Wendy, your home is obviously full of love.”
“That’s kind of you to say.”
It was a sincere comment. My own upbringing had been in a series of fairly glamorous surroundings with whomever my mother’s latest husband had been at the time. My happiest years had been growing up in Woodbridge when hubby number three, an IBM executive, had been in the area. I’d always envied the kids whose moms made cookies and squares. I’d had lots of smoked salmon and caviar as a child, but I’d hidden most of it behind the designer cushions.
Wendy had a sheepish grin as she opened the bedroom door. The furniture was probably the same set they’d bought when they married more than twenty years ago. Seemed as solid and enduring as it was dark and gloomy. The closet doors stood open, revealing everything that Wendy was worried I would see. Clothing hung on a sagging closet pole that was so jammed it would be hard to extract anything. I spotted a mix of women’s and men’s duds as well as what looked like uniforms.
“Is it beyond hope?” she whispered.
I said, “No way. This may be the best hundred dollars you’ve ever spent.”
“Really?”
“It’s a promise.”
I spoke with absolute confidence. I could see at a glance at least ten minor modifications that would make Wendy’s closet easier on the eye and improve her life at the same time. I liked this woman. She seemed to have no connection whatsoever with murder, madness, schemes, or any of the other plagues I’d faced in recent months. I decided on the spot that if I gave her the lowest possible hourly rate, that was no one’s business but my own. That was the great part about working for myself.
She sat on the bed and said, “Oh boy, that would be wonderful.”
“Is your husband handy with tools? Or are the boys? Or maybe you are?”
“Not me, my talents are in the kitchen, but all the boys are except for Jason. Why?”
“We’ll probably need the odd bit of hammering and a shelf or three. Do you want to put them on alert?”
“Sure will. They won’t mind a bit.”
“So now I don’t want to waste any of our time. Tomorrow I’ll be here with some bins and we’ll sort out your clothing into keep, toss, donate, and sell. Do you want to prepare yourself mentally for the big purge?”
“Whatever it takes.”
“Good, then get used to thinking about these questions, because we’ll be asking them over and over again.” I ran through my standard pre-purge queries for her.
Do I love it?
Do I wear it?
Does it fit?
Is it still in fashion?
Does it go with anything else I own?
Does it make me feel good?
I added, “The only right answer to each of those questions is yes. Be wary of anything that makes you feel bad.”
Wendy interrupted. “Feel bad? You mean like fat? Old? Dumpy?”
I said, “You definitely want to turf anything that brings out those reactions.”
She grimaced. “Might be quite a high percentage.” “We’ll see how that plays out. Part two of the question series goes like this:
Can somebody else make use of it? Can I sell it?
Can I donate it to a worthy cause?
If I didn’t have it already, would I want to buy it?
Is it too small? Too large? Needing repair?
Why am I keeping this?
“I can do that,” she said, nodding a bit uncertainly.
“It’s all a bit more challenging than you might think. So here’s a little tip sheet to remind you of the questions. I’ll be back tomorrow with a contract for one hundred dollars’ worth of work. I’ll try to keep your costs down by bringing my assistant and letting her oversee the purge. I hope she’s available. If not, we should rejig our schedules to mesh with hers. She’s also a college student, she has no family, and she’s putting herself through. And by the way, she’s always hungry.”
“Music to my ears. I love to cook, and I can’t imagine what it will be like when the other two boys move out on their own.”
“I’m sure Lilith will be happy to help out with your need to feed. You might actually know her. She lives with your mom’s friend, Rose Skipowski. They have an arrangement so that Rose isn’t alone and Lilith has a roof over her head. If you’ll excuse me a second, I’ll give her a call.”
I flipped open my cell phone. Lilith is on speed dial. She can’t always answer when she’s knee-deep at one of her three part-time jobs. I left a detailed message and mentioned Wendy by name.
Wendy blurted out, “Lilith! Of course I know that girl. Well, I met her a couple of times. She’s made such a difference for Rose. It shows you with some kids you have to look past the piercings and the tattoos and the hair to see the person underneath.”
I knew that would work out. Lilith’s hair was stunning teal blue this month, and I’d detected a new facial piercing last time. I was glad that Wendy was planning to look past all that. Of course, it helped that she knew the difference Lilith had made in Rose’s life.
That made me think. Lilith had been living on the streets when she first came to Woodbridge. I’d never found out what terrible things had happened to her during those dark times, but I figured she’d either know about Anabel Beauchamp’s work with troubled kids or she’d know someone who would.
“Charlotte?” Wendy was staring at me anxiously.
“Sorry. I thought of something.”
“Is it a problem with my closet? Or—”
“Nothing to do with it. And your closet will be finished before you know it. See you tomorrow. I am free for a few minutes early in the day, so I’ll drop in and get you started once I make arrangements with Lilith.
Wendy hesitated, usually a sign that someone’s not quite ready to take the plunge.
“You have no idea how wonderful you will feel when it’s over. By the way, this consultation’s on the house. The meter doesn’t start ticking until tomorrow.”
“I’ll start getting ready. Rose is a great cook, but even so, that Lilith’s a skinny little thing. I’ll make sure she gets lunch, on the house.”
I left feeling very good indeed and with time to get to the library and check out something that had been troubling me.
BOOK: Closet Confidential
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