Cockpit: A Second Chance Romance (44 page)

I stared at her as if she was an insect that I wanted to crush with my shoe. That was more or less exactly how I felt.

"Why? Why do you hate her so much?"

She tilted her head to the side, considering. I could tell she was debating how much to tell me. Finally, she shrugged.

"Why do I hate her? My entire life I've been compared to her. Her mother and mine are sisters, did you know that? Horrible bitches both of them. They hate each other of course, it seems to run in the family."

I swallowed the drink. I had a feeling I was going to need it. I had a feeling I was going to need much, much more of it.

"So competitive. And when my mother caught me with my tennis instructor at fourteen, they sent me off to a boarding school for discipline cases. Awful place. Not like the cushy school that Rosie went to."

She poured us each more booze. She wasn't done talking.
 

"Perfect little Rosie. Sure to make an excellent match while her slutty cousin Rebecca is only good for a quick tumble. But now she's broke and I still have my trust. I have loads of money for things like... well, paying you."

She smiled at me, toasting me with her champagne.

"I just thought I would use it to even the playing field a bit."

"What do you mean she's broke?"

She smiled at me, her red lips glistening.

"The family coffers are empty. She has no idea as far as I know. I only know because I'm shagging the family lawyer. He's got quite a filthy streak in him. You would be surprised."

She shrugged gracefully.

"It's just a bit of harmless fun really. It's my money. I wanted to give my cousin a little coming out present. You."

I shook my head.

"That's twisted. She never did anything to you."

She laughed, the sound bitter and angry.

"She's been a symbol of my failure my entire life. Now she's going to be dragged through the mud, just like I was. I can't wait to see my mother's face. I just needed to make sure someone saw you together."

She offered me another drink. I shook my head, my thoughts racing.

"Of course, I paid the hotel concierge, busboys, room service, and a photographer to follow you around for weeks. So I have that covered."

My gut clenched. She was going to do it. She had used me to destroy Rosie.

"Don't. Don't do that to her."

She tilted her head at me.

"It's too late. It's done."

I carefully set my drink down so I wouldn't throw it at her. Then I turned and walked out of the parlor.

Rebecca's gleeful voice followed me as I stormed past her butler to the front door.

"If you are looking for her she'll be at the Fulsome's Gala I imagine. Everyone will be there!"

But I wasn't going to find Rosie. I was going to find a deep, dark hole and crawl into it, hopefully with a bottle of bourbon.

The last thing I heard was her cackling like a she devil.

Rosalie

I stood there, dressed in an extravagant emerald green ball gown. I'd never looked better. A hairdresser and makeup artist had been called to the house.

I should have felt beautiful.
 

Instead I felt numb.

I hadn't heard from Nico all day. Not since he dropped me off early that morning, whispering love words in my ear. Now I was here, and my parents and grandmother were very, very angry with me.

I'd never done anything wrong before. So this was an entirely new experience for me. Being the bad girl.

I didn't much like it.

Actually, it rather 'pissed me off,' as Nick would say. I clenched my fist, letting the pain of my nails scraping my palm keep me from screaming.

All day I'd been questioned and harangued. Spoken to like a child. A stupid, ignorant child. I was told that I was risking everything. My reputation. My future.

My answer was simple. It was mine to risk. I'd told them proudly that Nicholas was worth it.

That hadn't gone over too well.

I wished I could go back in time to the cottage by the sea. It seemed so very far away from this world. I realized for the first time that I didn't just dislike these high society events.

I hated them.

I let my mind wander, transporting me out of the sparkling ballroom. I could still feel Nico's hands on me. His mouth. His body.
 

He loved me. And I loved him. We'd said the words. Our future was going to be together, no matter what my parents had to say about it. Not even my Grandmother the Duchess could sway me.

Nico loved me.

It was the only thing that was keeping me from falling apart right now. I pulled my phone from the ridiculously tiny handbag my mother had insisted I carry. It had no room for anything other than a phone and lipstick. And money presumably.

I'd put every cent I had in it. Bank cards. Credit cards. ID. Just in case.

I was seriously thinking about running.

But if I couldn't get ahold of Nico, where would I be running to?

My Grandmother stood by my side, introducing me to people. I shook hands and bowed my head to people of superior rank. I did what was expected without having to think about it. I was on auto pilot.

I certainly wasn't making an effort though, no matter how badly they seemed to want to introduce me to every unmarried, titled man in the room.

"You certainly won't win anyone over with that sour look on your face."

My Grandmother had a way with words. I looked at her woodenly as she tried to glare me into submission. Another man was being led over to us by my father. But I couldn't stay another minute. I was going to scream if I did.

"Excuse me."

I turned tail and ran.
 

Chapter Fifteen

Nicholas

I sat at the hotel bar, my head in my hands. I had worked my way through six bourbons so far. I wasn't even close to being drunk enough.
 

I doubted that I ever would be.

My whole life was suddenly clear to me. The wasted years. The distractions. The meaningless sex.

Not one of those women had cared about me. Not even a little bit. I was meat to them. Just a cock with a man attached. Nothing.

Not until Rosie.

She did more than care. She saw things in me I hadn't seen in myself. I knew I would never be the same after meeting her. Knowing her. Loving her.

And I did love her. It wasn't just a word. I loved her so much that it was tearing me apart.

Never mind what I was about to do to her. I closed my eyes, willing myself to erase the knowledge of what I had to. Just for a second.

Oh yes, I needed to get much, much drunker.

I lifted my finger and the bartender walked over.

"Fresh ice?"

I shook my head. Ice was a luxury I did not deserve. I just wanted to be numb.

I would have to be numb for what I was about to do.

I was going to tell her everything.

She would hate me. But it was no more than I deserved. Even though it would destroy us both.

And I owed her the truth at least.

But not yet. I wasn't ready yet. I watched the bartender fill my glass.

"Make it a double."

I was ignoring her texts. I had no idea what to say to her. What could I say to her? I was responsible for ruining her life.

Even worse, I'd made her love me in the process.

This wasn't just going to hurt her. It was going to
change
her. Open her eyes to the cruelty of the world. Her sweet, trusting, idealistic world view was about to get shattered.

I had taken everything she had and now she would have nothing. Not even her innocence. Or her crusty old house apparently. A marriage would have saved all that for her. But I'd taken that from her as well.

And I was going to spend the rest of my life regretting it.

She'd given me something I could hold onto though. She'd changed me for the better. I wasn't going back to escorting. I couldn't. Not after I'd seen the damage it could do.

"Nico?"

I lifted my head and looked to the side. I thought I was imagining things. Hearing the voice of my tormentor in my mind. But no, she was actually here.

Rosie was standing in the entrance to the hotel bar in a ball gown, looking like a fairy tale princess.

So beautiful it almost hurt.

I closed my eyes.

"You shouldn't be here."

"I don't understand. Why shouldn't I be here Nico?"

She stepped forward, a hurt expression on her beautiful face.

"Did I do something wrong?"

I cursed, jerking away when she reached for me.

"Damn it Rosie, I don't want anyone to see us!"

That did it.

Her face crumbled. Tears sprang into her eyes. For one second neither of us moved. I don't think we took a breath.

Then she turned away from me and ran. I knew I should let her go. To get as far away from me as possible.

But I couldn't. Not yet.

I threw some money on the bar and went after her.

Rosalie

I ran. I ran through the streets of London in a ball gown. I was sure I looked ridiculous. It was starting to drizzle but I didn't care.

Maybe it would hide the tears streaming down my face.

I just needed to get away. Away from my parents. From the ball.
 

From him.

Nicholas didn't want to be seen with me. That's why he had taken me out of the club. Out of London. He didn't want people to know about us. Know we loved each other. I shook my head, willing the thoughts to stop.

He might be married. Or have a girlfriend. He might just be ashamed of me.

"Rosie!"

I tried to run faster but my shoes made it so hard. I felt myself start to stumble as my heel caught in a crack in the sidewalk. I went flying. I saw the pavement coming up to meet me.

But I never hit the ground.

The next thing I knew I was enveloped in big strong arms. Nicholas was staring down at me, his eyes cold and hard. He didn't look loving and kind.

He looked furious.

Put out. I'd put him out by showing up at the hotel. He didn't want to be here, anymore than I did.

"Are you hurt?"

I shook my head.

"Let go of me. I... I don't want to talk to you!"

He laughed, his hands gripping me tightly. He wasn't being gentle as he held me immobile. He shook his head slowly.

"Where do you think you are going?"

"I don't know! Far away from you!"

 
He didn't do anything. He just stared at me. Then his hand came up and stroked my cheek.

"Rosie... my sweet, innocent Rosie..."

I looked at him closely. His eyes were a bit glazed. He looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Nico... You're scaring me. Are you foxed?"

He laughed and I smelled it then. He was foxed. He didn't release me though. I pushed against his chest but it was futile. It was like pushing against a brick wall.

Finally, I realized what he was doing.

He was staring at me like he wanted to memorize the way I looked.

He was about to break up with me.

"Let's go somewhere we can talk."

He turned, his arm holding me tightly against his side as he walked. I dragged my heels but he just laughed, pulling me along like I was a puppy on a leash.

"Why? So you can tell me you are married? Is that why you don't want to be seen with me?"

He laughed again. He sounded like he was mad. Actually insane.

"I'm not married sweetheart. It's much, much worse than that."

He didn't say another word as he dragged me back towards the hotel.

I was silent as he pulled me down an alley that ran along the side of the hotel. There was a back entrance to the kitchen there. We walked through the smell of food and bustling workers. Nick handed one of them some folded bills.

"Service elevator?"

The cook jerked his head and we followed him. Well, Nick followed him. I was just dragged along behind him. I could have screamed. But the way he was acting... I was starting to be more worried for him than for me.

I knew he wouldn't hurt me. But something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

We rode the elevator in silence. By the time we reached his hotel room I was shaking from being cold and wet. And scared out of my mind. Let's not forget that.

Utter terror. Not for my physical well being. For my heart.

I had a terrible certainty he was about to break it.

He opened the door to his hotel room and dragged me inside like a caveman.

Nicholas closed the door behind us. When he finally looked at me, his eyes were full of anguish.

"There's something I have to tell you Rosie. You aren't going to like it. You aren't going to like
me.
"

I shook my head.

"Not possible."

He smiled wryly.

"Trust me Rosie, it's possible."

I took his hand.

"Tell me."

He shook his head, pulling away. He walked over to the bar and poured himself a drink. Then he looked at me and very deliberately pulled out his phone. Then he pulled out another. He drank while I stared at him, realization starting to dawn.

Nicholas was not who he seemed to be.

"Nico, why do you have two phones?"

Chapter Sixteen

Nicholas

"What is going on Nico?"

I shook my head, finishing my drink quickly. I didn't offer her one. There wasn't time.

"I will tell you. After."

Rosie stood there, shivering. I wanted to warm her, to comfort her. I should get her out of those wet clothes. But I didn't want to wait.

"Come here."

 
She was so beautiful, so elegant, I didn't feel like I even had the right to touch her. But I wanted to. And she wanted it too. She walked towards me. Right into my arms.

To hell with it.

I pulled her against me, crushing the full skirt of her dress. My lips were all over hers. My hands held her hard against me, as close as I could get.

"I want you Rosie... please let me..."

She nodded shakily and my hands found their way under her skirt. I pulled her panties away roughly and started to toy with her soft folds. Her head fell back and I kissed the graceful arch of her throat.