Code Name: Luminous (26 page)

* * * *

Lumin rested on the couch in Tony’s apartment. Although her
body still ached, she felt safer being here with his things surrounding her.
Her cell rang and she quickly swept it up, but it wasn’t Tony.

“Feeling a little better?” Kayla asked.

“Hello, Kayla. I’m not on death’s door. I guess that’s
better.”

“How about some company?
Nina and I
took an hour for dinner.”

“Sure.” As soon as she said it there was a knock on the
door. “Is that you?”

“Yup.”

Lumin got to her feet, took a step and paused to get over
the wave of dizziness before leaving the safety of the couch. Kayla and Nina
gave her a quick hug when she opened the door and then they both helped her
back to the couch.

“Sorry, shouldn’t have made you get up,” Nina said, sitting
next to her.

Kayla pulled three plates from the cupboard and opened up
the take-out they’d brought.

“I’m so glad you’re okay, Nina.” She squeezed her hand and
found she didn’t want to let go.

“You too, kiddo,” she said, and smiled at her. “It was a
real bitch, wasn’t it?”

She nodded. Kayla handed her and Nina a plate.

“Drinks?”
Kayla asked.

“There’s some soda and water in the fridge,” Lumin said.

Lumin had a creeping feeling of unease where there shouldn’t
be one. “Is everything all right?”

Nina darted a glance at Kayla. After putting her plate down
and chewing her mouthful of food slowly, Kayla said, “No.” She stalled and
shook her head. Nina wrapped an arm around her friend’s shoulder.

“Captain Cobbs died this afternoon. He and Tony had to
release the block in the river. There was a malfunction.”

Lumin didn’t know the man at all, but the short time she’d
been in his presence, she’d liked him. “I’m so sorry,” she said kneeling in
front of the women and holding their hands. “Did something happen to Tony too?”

Nina shook her head. “He’s fine.”

“Captain Cobbs is the Admiral’s best friend, isn’t he?”

“Yes,” Kayla said and dried her tears.

“Does Marg know yet?”

Nina nodded and her tongue jammed into her cheek as if
trying to control herself. “That’s one call I couldn’t make. Kayla did it.”

Lumin put her hand on Kayla’s knee. “I don’t know how you
could have done that, Kayla. I would have fallen apart.”

“They are both my friends. I wanted Marg to hear it from me,
not have a uniformed SEAL approach her door and rip out her heart.”

“Is she coming back?” Lumin asked.

“Not yet. She can’t. Not until Dafoe is found and the threat
is over.”

Lumin plucked two tissues from the box and handed one to
each of the girls. “Does this happen a lot?” Her heart strayed to Tony.

“It happens,” Nina said. “We used to think if only love
could shield them from bullets, everyone would come home. This wasn’t a
bullet.”

Even though both Kayla and Nina seemed to accept what
happened, the worry in their eyes wasn’t as easily hidden. “How did he die?”

Kayla sputtered. “That’s the stupid part. Captain Cobbs has
been a warrior for over twenty years.
Hundreds of missions
and deployments.
Close calls, a few injuries, but—” She took a deep
breath and shook her head. “It was an accident. Tony and Cobbs were working to
blow out a block they’d placed in the Rio Grande. The remote detonator
malfunctioned.”

Lumin held her breath.
“And Tony?”

Kayla gave her a quick smile of reassurance. “They both went
in the water when the charges exploded. Debris caught Cobbs across the back. He
bled out. Tony pulled him from the river. He’s okay, at least physically.”

Lumin struggled to her feet and sat down across from the
girls, then wedged her hands between her knees. They sat in heavy silence.
Lumin prayed for Marg and for the rest of the squad. When her mind touched on
Tony’s image, her heart spoke the loudest.

This wasn’t the time to tell the girls Tony had asked her to
marry him but she wanted their opinion, desperately. Earlier she’d thought
about calling Star, but although she was a friend, Star’s attitude about
marriage was less than stellar. Lumin hadn’t known what to say when Tony popped
the question every girl dreams of hearing from a man like him. Stunned silence
followed. When the clatter in her head stopped, she stuttered, “Tony asked me
to marry him.”

“We know,” Nina said solemnly.

“I said yes.”

Kayla nodded. “Know that too. You can be engaged for as long
as you want, just promise us before you walk down the aisle that you understand
what a life with Tony will be like. You’ll be alone for months on end and often
no or little contact.”

“He could be injured,” Nina added. “Or worse, and you will
always have that fear, but have to keep it under control and hidden away. He’ll
come home and the first weeks will be difficult while he assimilates back into
your lives.”

Kayla and Nina’s warnings scared her.

“What we’re trying to tell you is that you have to be sure
before you take the next step. Tony has never fallen in love before. If you
can’t be brave and committed, you need to let him go,” Kayla said.

Suddenly Lumin felt like the outsider again. The girls were
protecting Tony. They weren’t turning against her, but preparing her. “I don’t
doubt myself. I’m worried that I came across Tony at a time when he’s
reflecting on what he doesn’t have, and that it could have been anyone.”

Nina darted a glance at Kayla and shook her head.
“Doesn’t work that way, Lumin.
In fact, it’s just the
opposite. Tony boasted
a
‘I’m going to be a bachelor
forever’ flag. For the SPECOP guys, it’s easier. They’re not vulnerable to
worry or doubt. They leave a girl in rumpled bed sheets and live for the
moment. Your relationship will be strained by separation and tested by living
with a man who has to keep secrets from you. Love is the hardest thing these
men can endure.”

“I won’t let him down,” Lumin assured them.
 

The girls stayed for a while longer and left her to slowly
pace the living room. Her aches and pains were nothing compared to what Tony
and the rest of the team had to be going through. They couldn’t stop. They
couldn’t grieve. She reached for the phone and put it down three times. Pushing
open the patio door, she gazed around. Her nerves were on edge, but there was
no reason for it. Sitting down at the patio table, she watched the children on
the playground and then stared at the phone, willing it to ring She needed him
to know she was thinking about him and worried for him. She picked it up and
dialed.

“Petty Officer Bale.”

He sounded tired. “Tony.” She hesitated when the line went
quiet. “Kayla and Nina were just here. They told me about Captain Cobbs. You
don’t need to say anything, but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I’m
praying for you. I don’t know all the details. I just know you’re probably
hurting right now, and I wish I could be with you and hold you.”

“My lady, I wish you were here too,” his voice gravelly with
restrained emotion. “This is my fault, Lumin.”

“How can it be your fault? Kayla said it was a malfunction.
An accident.”

“He shouldn’t have been up there with me. The charges were
live. I should have set them myself. I’m the explosives specialist, but I
ordered Ed to set them.”

“Tony, you can’t second-guess this. You could have been
killed just as easily.”

Tony let out a deep breath. “I don’t know what to say to the
Admiral.”

“Nothing until the moment is right, and you’ll know when
that is.”

“Admiral Austen just finished talking with Marg. She’s flying
back to San Diego tonight.”

“I can pick her up.”

“You’re supposed to be resting, sweetheart.”

“I’m okay. I can pick her up. What time is she coming in?”

Tony spoke to someone and then said, “Nine o’clock.
United flight.”

“Can I use your car?”

“Of course you can. There’s a spare set of keys in the
basket on top of the fridge. Maybe she can stay with you.”

“I’ll convince her.” There was a pregnant pause on the line.
“Can I do anything else?”

“Let Kayla and Nina know. You’re
gonna
need them.”

“I think you’re right. I’ve never known anyone who’s died
before.”

“In a way that’s a blessing,” Tony said quietly. “But it
won’t stay that way, Lumin, if you walk beside me. Maybe you should think about
that. I shouldn’t have asked you to marry me. It was selfish.”

Talking about this had a time and place, but not now. “No,
it wasn’t,” she blurted,
then
paused fiddling with the
edge of the table. Had she really thought it out? Her fear wasn’t how much she
loved
Tony,
it was if she could be strong enough for
him. “When this is over, you can ask me again, if you want to.”

“I’ve got to go. The team’s leaving New Mexico. We have to
find a lead on Dafoe.”

“He’s disappeared with the virus. How can you possibly find
him?”

“Don’t know yet, but we’ll figure it out. I miss you,
sweetheart. I miss you too much.”

“I’ll be waiting for you, Tony. Please come home as soon as
you can.”

That evening Lumin experienced the true meaning of grief for
the first time. Tony had been right. She needed Kayla and Nina, and she thanked
God when they walked in the door. The tears seemed endless after the shock
subsided and Marg let down her guard. She’d brought her three daughters, and
although they put Kelsey to bed,
Rayanne
and Cindy
remained at their mother’s side. They were amazingly strong girls, and Lumin
saw the binding love between them.

There were moments of utter silence and periods of gentle
words. They reminisced and held Marg when the memories wanted to sweep her
away, but Kayla and Nina brought her back from the edge every time.

“Somehow I knew,” Marg whispered to the circle of women
around her. “Over the years, every time Pat left us, I had to be strong. I had
our girls to raise, and a home to run.” She blinked away the endless tears.
“When I talked to him the other day, he promised me that this would be the last
mission. I knew he was right.” Marg hid her face in her hands. “I will always
love that man. I don’t want to face laying my head on the pillow and looking at
his, knowing he’ll never be there again. He’s gone. He’s really gone this
time.”

Lumin twined her fingers with Marg’s. “I don’t know either
of you very well, but I know he’s not far from you, Marg. The Captain adored
you. Every time he looked at you, those silver eyes were filled with love. I
don’t believe he’ll ever leave you. You just can’t see him right now.”

Marg smiled through her tears and touched Lumin’s cheek.
“Thank you, sweetheart. I know he does. We all signed on to love our warriors
knowing this moment could come.” She swiped at her eyes. “I think I’m going to
lay down with Kelsey and get some rest. Tomorrow is soon enough for more
tears.”

Rayanne
and Cindy followed their
mother.

Lumin looked for reassurance. Nina and Kayla were both
reeling from the loss. “I think I’d be a crumbled mess on the floor if I were
her.”

“You’d be surprised what rubs off over the years,” Nina
said, laying back and covering her forehead with her hands. “Although Mace and
I have just started a life together, I know it’s a possibility I could lose
him.”

“We almost lost you, both of you,” Kayla said. “Every single
military spouse, whether man or woman, has to stand beside their warrior.
Hiding the worry and being strong every time they walk away is our challenge.”
She paused. “I hate war. Thane will never turn his back on his duty, and he won’t
stop now until he finds Dafoe. None of them will.”

“I just realized something,” Lumin murmured to herself, but
she had the women’s attention. “Tony and I have talked more on the phone than
we have in person.”

They both smiled at her and nodded. “Sometimes it’s like
that,” Kayla admitted. “A lot, actually, but when his voice is all you have,
you seize it and make sure when he hangs up that he doesn’t have to worry about
you.”

Lumin swallowed the lump in her throat. “What if I’m not
strong enough?”

Nina patted her hand. “Don’t worry. Although you two have
started your relationship in the middle of a firestorm, the smoke will clear.
You’ll have time to get to know each other.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.
High
adrenaline.
Rescue mode.
Whatever you want to call it.
What if I’m not who he wants when all the action recedes?”

Kayla tried to hide a grin and rolled her eyes to look at
Nina. “If you’re doing things right in the bedroom, the action won’t be
receding any time soon. If I’m not mistaken, Tinman is a needy kind of guy.”

Nina chuckled. “Aren’t they
all.
”
She winked at Lumin. “You’ll do fine. And I think I’ve had my fill of tears.
Let’s hit the road, boss.”

She walked Nina and Kayla to the door. “Thank you—for
everything.”

“We stick together. Stand strong. Alpha Squad and the others
will end this,” Kayla said.

“I hope you’re right. I’m probably putting too much heart
into Tony’s basket, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about him. I want him
home.”

Nina eyed the coffee table. “Phone’s over there. SEALs don’t
sleep much. He could probably use a pick-me-up”

“I don’t want to seem like a needy female.”

“I’m not talking about your need.” She grinned. “I’m talking
about letting him know what he can look forward to when he finishes this
mission.”

Lumin’s eyes grew. “Do you mean—?”

Kayla nodded. “But make sure the curtains are closed.” She
laughed.