Cold Pursuit (Cold Justice) (Volume 2) (33 page)

Michael was still in his pajamas. His red hair was getting long enough to start to curl. His blue-eyed gaze held hers, looking for reassurance. She was so grateful he hadn’t disappeared inside his head from the stress he’d suffered. She was beginning to think Dr. Hinkle was right, Michael wasn’t autistic, and he was dealing with everything really well under the circumstances.

She remembered the joy that had shone on his face when they stared at that roller coaster just a few short days ago.

It seemed like a lifetime ago. A whole love affair ago.

If it took a roller coaster—if it took a thousand roller coasters—to make her son happy again, she’d do it. They’d go to Disney as soon as this mess was over, and they’d go on every ride twice.

It wouldn’t be so easy to ease the ache in her heart, but that was life. She should be used to it by now. She wouldn’t let it break her. She had a child to look after and a president to meet.

God—how unattractive was self-pity?

Where was her fighting spirit?

It struck her then, that being afraid to love was like being trapped inside your own mind, only it was a self-imposed exile.

She was a coward.

A pain clamped across her stomach. She was a damned coward. Knowing how short life could be, she was still too scared to tell a good man she was interested in a relationship with him. And he was a good man. He’d been trying to help her since this disaster started—from helping her up off the floor when she was knocked over in the mall, to taking her to his parents’ and trying to protect her there. He’d been trying to do his job, and she kept making it hard for him. No wonder he resented her.

Her brain was fuzzy, and she was almost faint with fatigue. That’s what you got living on the run with so little sleep. She’d get some rest and figure it all out. Soon.

“Hey, kiddo. You go get in the shower and then you can get some more sleep, ’kay?”

Michael put the tablet on the table and scurried off to the bathroom. She turned on the shower and made sure the temperature was good. “Don’t forget the soap and shampoo.” She gave him a kiss and was rewarded with a small hug and a twitch of his lips. She gave him a big squeeze back, careful not to hurt him because she wanted to hold him so tight. He’d tried to protect her earlier, and she knew the fact he’d made a sound had shocked him as much as the rest of them. It gave her hope, though. Made her think
maybe…

She went back into the sitting room and laid out the drawing supplies next to the tablet Jed had given them, because drawing helped Michael cope with life, and that’s what he needed most, a way of coping. A page slipped onto the floor. She leaned down and picked it up. It was the picture of Jed hugging her in the kitchen, yesterday afternoon.

Reaction hit so hard she dropped to the nearest chair. It wasn’t quite the moment she’d fallen in love with him, but encapsulated everything she felt. She’d actually fallen head-over-heels when he’d first carried Michael out of the car and tucked him in bed at the safe house.

She touched Jed’s hair as if it were real, but it was just smooth graphite on paper. The expression in his eyes suggested he might care about her more than he’d let on—but that might be wishful thinking on Michael’s part. It was obvious he idolized Jed and his family. She slipped the drawing carefully into the back of the sketchpad and a huge breath slipped out of her chest. No matter how hurt her feelings, she needed to repay Jed for all he’d done for them and to apologize. She was sick to her stomach that she’d struck him, and that Michael had witnessed the fight she and David had in the car. What had happened to her? Vivi pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and saw Jed had tried to call her earlier. She hadn’t heard it ring. She’d probably been in the helicopter.

It gave her a ridiculous sense of relief even though it shouldn’t. She dialed the number.

“Vivi?”

His voice jolted her, reminded her of the first time they’d met in the mall before this whole mess had begun.

“Vivi, is that you?”

She cleared her throat. “Yes. I just wanted to apologize for earlier. It was quite wrong of me to do what I did and I regret it more than I can say.”

She heard the shock in the silence.

Then he started speaking quickly. “Hey. It was my fault. I should have known better. You were in a terrifying situation and I was in a position of authority. We get warned against this sort of thing during training and I took advantage of you—”

Vivi blinked and gave a bemused laugh. “You think I’m apologizing for seducing you? While I’m sorry for everything that happened afterwards, I’m
not
actually sorry for that. Although I am sorry you regret it.” He tried to cut in, but she wouldn’t let him. “I’m apologizing for slapping you.”

“Oh.”

God. Really?
Oh
? That was all he had to say? Enough already. He was obviously not interested in her, and she was embarrassing them both by bringing it all up again. This is why she had withheld herself from people all these years. She didn’t know how to put herself out there without getting eviscerated. No one liked getting hurt. She was far better off alone.

She was much more of a coward than she’d ever realized.

“Did you catch the guy who broke into the cabin?” She needed to know how much danger they were still in.

“We haven’t found him yet, but I’m sure you’ll be safe in DC.”

“Ha.” She was ashamed the sound came out so bitter. “We’re not in DC. We’ve been invited to meet the president in Minneapolis. How exciting.” Her forced enthusiasm fooled neither of them.

“What?” The signal was crappy, and he was obviously in a moving vehicle. Oh, damn, she bet he was on speaker. Shame rose in her cheeks at the idea his colleagues might be listening in—the idea Killion might be listening when he’d probably been the one to sell her out to her ex.

“The president is visiting the site of the attack and the injured in the hospital this morning. David is keen to use the event to present his son to POTUS.”

“What?” The same word kept coming out louder. Harder.

“We’re in Minneapolis.” Her shoulders sagged. Absently, she picked up the tablet and turned on the screen. Her heart leaped when she saw that Michael had been writing. The words and letters were jumbled—still even the idea he might be able to communicate this way eventually… Her heart gave a little squeeze. “Jed, Michael’s been trying to write something on the tablet you gave him. It looks like he’s trying to say something.”

“Send it to me.”

“It’s gibberish. It doesn’t make any sense—”

“Vivi…” His soft admonishment was a reminder they had little to go on, and Michael might truly know something, which still seemed nuts.

“Tell me your email address,” she said. Something she’d need to forget, else she’d be stalking him online. Not gonna happen. A couple of days and she’d be over Jed Brennan. She’d probably never see him again. The thought drove a nail through her heart.

Jed gave her the address and she forwarded the note.

“Got it. Thanks. I thought you’d be safer with him. Shit, I can’t believe he took you back there…”

There was a commotion in the background of Jed’s side of the conversation—the spook was definitely with him and seemed to be excited about something. Jed was about to hang up, she could tell. She forestalled him. “I wanted to tell you something quickly.”

“Now isn’t a good time.” He clearly expected some undying declaration of love but she wasn’t into sadomasochism.

“Michael made a sound in the car.”

“What? Fuck, if I say ‘what’ again, shoot me. Michael spoke?”

The idea of telling him it had been a bone-chilling rip of fury wasn’t going to go over well. Regardless of his feelings, or lack of them, he would freak if he discovered David had hurt her. Still, she didn’t need him to defend her.

“It wasn’t an actual word, but
he made a sound
. It-it’s the first time I’ve heard him say anything since…well. Anyway, that’s all I wanted to tell you. Thanks for everything. I’ll let you get on.” Tears started to fall then. The weight of all the years of Michael’s silence pressed down on her. Finally her prayers had been answered but she didn’t know what it meant or where it might lead, and the man she wanted to share it with clearly wasn’t interested—which was fine. He was an FBI agent, and he’d done everything he could to help them. She appreciated it. She really did. But she had the horrible feeling this love thing was going to be harder to deal with than she’d originally thought.

Then she got furious with herself. What was the point in having a voice if you didn’t say the most important things? “I love you, Jed.”

There was a long shocked silence on the other end, and it was enough to tell her everything she needed to know. Floods of tears blurred her vision. She didn’t want to hear the excuses or deflections so she hung up on him. When he called back, she ignored it and then turned off the phone.

Was it cowardice?

No, cowardice would have been never telling him how she felt. She wasn’t a child. She understood how the real world worked and she was proud of herself for putting her feelings out there. For a woman who lived in a self-contained world that revolved around her child this was a big step. His excuses for not loving her back didn’t matter. He made it clear he wasn’t going to be part of her life, and she was fine with that. But the sobs wouldn’t stop, no matter how hard she tried, and her heart seemed to crack into a thousand pieces inside her chest. Then the shower stopped running and she pulled herself together.

No one else had to know she was heartbroken.

Especially a little boy who’d suffered enough. She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose.

She knew who and what she was. A mother first and foremost. She’d had a little fun and now it was time to get on with her life.

Her lonely, barren life.

***

Holy fuck. How could she say she loved him out of the blue like that and then hang up on him?

Because you blew it, dick head.
You let her hear your inner freak-out before you got your head out of your ass and told her you wanted to see her again. Like that was even possible when he lived in Virginia and she lived in Fargo—but that was just geography.
Shit
.

He really did want to see her again, preferably when terrorists weren’t trying to kill her son.

He punched the steering wheel of his SUV in frustration. “The asshole ex took them back to Minneapolis where apparently they get to meet the president today.” He checked his watch.

Naturally, Killion had overheard every word. “Ah.”

They were driving back to Minneapolis which took a couple of hours, he just hoped Liam didn’t try and have them arrested for not following his orders. His brother would forgive them if they found the guy who’d killed his officer, but not until. The fact Liam had been in bed with Angela when he’d called him meant his brother had all the same demons chasing him as Jed did, but probably bigger and uglier with talons that ripped you apart.

Had they been seeing each other while Bobby was still alive?

No. No way. Liam would never disrespect their friend, and Angela wouldn’t have come on to him if they had been, because she knew how close they all were. He wanted to slap himself on the forehead, because that’s how she’d known he was at the cabin, and she’d probably wanted to tell him about dating Liam when he’d more or less thrown her off the property. Moron. Still, right now it was a problem that paled into insignificance compared to what he was up against with Vivi and Michael.

Killion fiddled with the radio.

Jed shot the guy a look. “Why are you even here?”

Killion shrugged. “I needed a ride.”

Jed shook his head. “You’re such a dick. I just can’t figure out why you decided to pick on me.” The spook was too good a liar to get anything out of him unless he decided to come clean. “What did you find from Michael’s tablet?”

Killion had been checking the scribbles Michael had made and was almost vibrating with excitement. “First of all, considering he’s a genius artist, his cursive needs a lot of work.”

“I’ll let his mother know.” Jed blew out a breath of annoyance.

“I think he wrote the names of the terrorists phonetically. I think it says ‘Razor’, here, and ‘Amer’. We ID’d two of the guys who we think were likely to have been in the toy store with Michael as Razur and Amir.”

Jed’s excitement matched Killion’s. Michael really had known something, although probably a lot less than the bad guys thought. If only he could talk, this information would have taken thirty seconds to deliver, tops. “What about the female terrorist?”

“This scribble might be Tira, Tila, or Pila?”

“Get the info to Langley and to the feds running the investigation. Check it against mall employees, lists of the injured, and cross-reference with any foreign nationals. Different spellings.”

“Thank God you’re here, I’d never have thought to do any of that.” Killion rolled his eyes.

“Just do it.”

“Yessir,” said Killion

“Prick.”

“Jerk.”

Killion called it in and Jed dialed his boss, Lincoln Frazer.

“You caused quite the shit storm hiding the Vincents away like that.” Jed waited for Frazer to finish reaming him out. “But you also gave us a great way to figure out who might have been trying to find them. Parker traced an electronic trail back to a source in the local police department. We’re monitoring the individual until we figure out the next target. Needless to say, US security is tighter than a duck’s ass until we figure this out.”

Jed passed on the names they’d gotten from Michael’s tablet. “It might be nothing.”

“But it might be something. Good work. Do you still have the woman and child with you?” Frazer asked quickly.

“Negative. They left with the kid’s father. Apparently they have a hot date with a VIP later today.”

“David Pentecost is an ass.”

“You know him?” Jed wasn’t surprised. Frazer was a bit of a celebrity in FBI circles and got invited to all the big diplomatic ‘dos’.

“Well enough to wonder what Veronica Vincent ever saw in him. But maybe she has lousy taste in men.” Lincoln Frazer had looked between the lines and seen a bit more than Jed was comfortable with, but considering he was on the verge of losing his job, he kept his mouth shut.