Cole in My Stocking (36 page)

“Everything okay, honey?”

She blinked, looked up at him. Her eyebrows slanted with insecurity.

“Whatever’s on your mind, you can tell me. No secrets between us.”

“Not anymore,” she said, “Thanks to you being so honest and brave.”

“Yeah, well, took me a while to get it all out.”

She nodded against his shoulder. “There was a lot to get out.”

“More than any one person should have to deal with.”

“Good thing there’s two of us then,” she said.

Yeah. Fucking fantastic thing.

She straightened on his lap, furrowed her brow. “You mentioned getting married earlier.” She bit her lip again.

He fixated on her plump lower lip, wanted to soothe it with his tongue. Clearing his throat, he said, “Yeah. Sorry. Shouldn’t be pushy with you when you’ve been through so much. Forget about it, okay?”

“Maybe I don’t want to forget about it.” Her gaze went soft on him. She skimmed a fingertip down his throat. “But you might be getting ahead of yourself, Officer Oakley. You don’t even know for sure we can consummate our love.”

He just about swallowed his tongue with shock. Mandy wasn’t freaked out by the idea of tying the knot. And she was bringing up sex. Not only bringing it up, but from the hungry glow in her eyes, he guessed she was giving him an open door to make a move.

“You telling me you need proof of that before I put a ring on your finger?” he asked, his body screaming to give her that proof right here on this couch.
Slow, jackass. Remember?

“I don’t need it honey, but I’m ready to see if what you said is true, if we have what it takes.” She swallowed, eyes shifting to the fire then back to him. “I don’t know how much I can handle, but I need to know that we can make progress. I need to know before I go back.”

Back to Philly. He’d miss her so goddamn much. He’d be on the road to visit her often as he could. In the meantime, he had her for two more days. Seemed to him she was asking to make that time extra special, not with sex, necessarily, and that was fine with him, but she was clearly asking for more than they’d done so far.

“Happy to show you that, honey. There’s not a doubt in my mind we can make progress.”

He wasn’t a big player, but he’d been around the block enough times to be able to read a woman. No woman had ever been as easy for him to read as Mandy. Not only did she express everything she felt with those gorgeous eyes of hers, but his body seemed tuned to hers, like they were two parts of the same instrument. Right now her face was telling him she was nervous about asking for intimacy, but her body was completely relaxed in his arms, on his lap, where his hard-on had been growing under her for the last few minutes.

She’d shied away from him the first time she’d felt the evidence of his attraction through their clothes. But he’d managed to put her mind at ease by telling her it didn’t rule him. Tonight, he’d more than tell her. He’d show her. He’d show her he wanted every part of her but that he could deny his own desires and cater to hers.

Shifting her in his arms, he laid her down on the couch and tucked her against his front as they lay on their sides. He put her back toward the couch cushions, crowding her, testing her. If she couldn’t handle him in her space, that would give him a big clue how far he could take her tonight.

She stayed relaxed. Thank God. Her eyes were serious as they roamed his face, but her mouth was soft, vulnerable, tempting as hell.

He captured her chin in his hand and tilted her face to his. Their lips met. He kept his hand on her chin to let her know he wanted to be in control. Woman took the hint.

She sighed through her nose, a happy noise, and let him nip at her, tender and soft, slow. Setting the tone for tonight. Patience and love filled his heart. Taking his time had never tasted so sweet.

Only after she murmured “more” against his mouth did he lick at the seam of her lips. She opened for him immediately.

Her mouth was pure bliss. Tongue on tongue, heat on heat, the taste of wine, absolute perfection. The kiss picked up speed, even though he fought to keep it slow. He went hard as frigging steel.

Too bad he’d already decided the only relief he’d get tonight would be in the shower by himself once Mandy fell fast asleep. It was going to be a long evening. It was going to be the best evening of his life to date.

* * * *

Cole surrounded me with affection. His love came through in every caress of his hand, every squeeze from his powerful arms, and every stroke of his tongue over mine. I wanted this to go on forever. Kissing was my happy place. At least this kind of kissing was, the kind that was tender as opposed to hungry.

I only knew Cole was hungry for more because I felt him hard against my stomach. With any other guy, the joy I would have gotten from the kissing would have fled at the insistent prodding. Not Cole. With him, it didn’t feel like prodding. It didn’t feel insistent. He never made me feel like his having an erection was in any way my problem. In fact, for the first time since my assault, I took it as a compliment. It meant he liked what we were doing. Yeah, he would probably like it if we did more, but with Cole, I knew we didn’t have to do more, not unless I wanted to.

Tonight, I wanted to. Only problem was I didn’t know exactly how much I could handle. But I trusted Cole not to be upset if I freaked. I would be embarrassed, but I would survive to try again another day. No one had ever made me feel that way before. Only Cole.

His mouth left mine and slid to my neck. He kissed and licked and nipped at my skin. A pleasant heat made a fist low inside me. Desire. A foreign emotion where men were concerned.

There was another emotion inside me, one I’d only recently learned to identify. This one pooled behind my breastbone. “I love you,” I whispered, hugging his head to keep him where his mouth felt so amazing.

“Baby,” he breathed. Breaking my hold, he tackled my mouth again. He tenderly devoured me, and I tenderly devoured him back.

Yes. This was love. The potency of it sent me reeling in my own head. Somehow, loving Cole tethered me securely and set me free at the same time.

I could marry this man. I wanted to. I was only twenty-four, but I could tell the chemistry between me and Cole was something special. I’d be crazy not to accept we were headed in that direction. There was just one thing holding me back. I couldn’t bear binding Cole to someone who couldn’t give him everything he deserved in a physical sense. I had to know my body was capable of fully trusting this man who had earned my trust in every other way.

Cole’s kisses took on a weight that would have turned my desire to dread if he’d been anyone else. He dragged one of my legs over his hip, bringing our pelvises into alignment.

“Any problem here, baby?”

“No problem at all, officer.”

He chuckled but sobered quickly. Fingers gripping my thigh through my jeans, he rolled me to my back and settled between my legs so he was lying on top of me but holding his weight on his elbows. His chest brushed my breasts, stopping just shy of compressing them. All my focus went to the satisfying pressure of his big body above mine, of the way our position hinted at sex but how our clothes kept things relatively tame, if a man’s throbbing erection between my legs could be considered tame.

“How about now?” Spots of color on his cheeks were the perfect complement to the heat in his gaze. He licked his lips, making me stare at that talented tongue.

“We might have a problem,” I said, missing the sight of his tongue when it disappeared behind his lips.

He went rigid and started to move off me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him close. “It’s just a small problem. One easily remedied.”

“Tell me what you need.”

“I want your mouth on me. Here.” I cupped my breasts from the sides.

He purred. “Like this?” He pecked the side of my breast near where I’d cupped it. His grin told me he knew darn well that’s not what I’d wanted.

“Like this,” I said, and I pushed at his shoulders until he rose up enough that I could pull my sweater off. I had on a white tank top over a plain white bra. Feeling bold and safe, I wiggled my shoulders to work the straps down my arms and used my thumbs to scrape the molded cups down until my breasts were bare, framed for him by white cotton.

“Good God.” A muscle in his jaw ticked as he looked at me. “You’re going to kill me.”

I bit my lip, suddenly uncertain. “Is that a bad thing?”

His gaze jumped to mine. He exhaled. “Baby, it’s the best fucking thing in the world.”

My little moment of anxiety was over as soon as he lowered his mouth to my sensitive skin. Then we didn’t talk any more for a while. He hummed. I gasped. But there seemed no need for words.

Cole showed me the meaning of tenderness in the way he feasted on me. My body came alive for him. I burned. Oh, how I burned.

“More,” I said, bringing his mouth up to mine. His lips and tongue were warm and wet. Perfect.

“How much more,” he murmured between kisses.

“Everything. I want all of you.”

He groaned. “Not going to go from zero to sixty in one night, baby. But I’ll give you something beautiful if you let me.”

“I’d let you do anything to me right now.” I meant it. I might spontaneously combust if he didn’t do
something
to me right now, and I meant
right now
.

Reverting to those tender kisses from earlier, Cole seemed to calm himself. His breathing slowed, and it seemed natural to match mine to his. I might have thought he was slowing things down, but I sensed a change come over him. Intent poured from his hooded eyes. He usually kissed with them closed, but not now. He had them slitted, and he was watching me, taking in my every move, my every breath.

He slid one hand slowly, so slowly down my stomach. When he found the button of my jeans, he flicked it open and continued on his way. At the elastic band of my underwear, he paused. He lifted his face from mine. I thought he was about to ask permission, and I was going to have to scream,
yes, do it! Touch me there!
But he didn’t ask.

He held my gaze while he pushed his hand lower, while he touched me skin to fevered skin.

My head sank back into the throw pillow as sensation seared through me. “Oh.” It had never felt quite like this when I’d touched myself. I’d never imagined a man’s hand could feel
better
than my own.

“You like?”

“Oh, yes.”

Eyes bright with love, he gave me something very beautiful, indeed, something no man had ever given me. And I accepted his gift gratefully.

Lying in his arms afterwards, I knew without a doubt everything about my life was about to change.

Chapter 27

“Gotta go, baby. Love you.” Cole’s deep voice brought me out of a peaceful sleep. As soon as I opened my eyes, he kissed me. Short, sweet. He was leaning over me in his uniform.

I cupped his freshly shaven face. It was the morning of New Year’s Eve. He was on his way in for a double shift. Twenty-four hours of patrolling New Hampshire highways…on the number one holiday for drunk driving, which meant he was going to be busy. We were planning to have a quick dinner together at the station at five thirty tonight, but other than that, I wouldn’t be seeing him again until tomorrow morning. “Going to miss you.”

“I know.” That smile. It reached his eyes and came from someplace down deep. He was happy. I was too. “I’ll miss you too,” he said. “But we’ll have all day tomorrow together.”

“After you sleep for at least eight hours.”

“Pfft. Four will do me.”

“Eight.”

“Six.”

“We’ll see.”

Another smile. I loved the way the skin crinkled at the corners of his eyes.

“I love you,” I told him.

He kissed me again and said, “I know.” Then he left for work.

I relaxed back against the pillows and joyfully resurrected my memories of last night. Cole had given me such an amazing gift. He’d brought me pleasure with nothing but his fingertips and the heated look in his eyes. I hadn’t experienced a single moment of panic. I loved and trusted him. I desired him. All those attempts at taking things further than kissing with other guys had been doomed to failure before they’d even begun because those vital components had been missing. And those guys hadn’t been Cole.

After the sweetest, most memorable orgasm I’d ever had and the only one I’d ever experienced with a man, Cole had held me. Boneless and overwhelmed, I’d cried a handful of happy tears. When I could move my limbs again, I’d tried to return the favor. Cole hadn’t let me. He insisted we go to bed instead, just to sleep. No matter how badly I’d wanted to give him the kind of amazing pleasure he’d just given me, I could never push for something sexual when my partner said no. Not even if I suspected he wanted it as badly as I’d wanted to give it.

So I’d gone to bed with him. Just to sleep. I held him and stroked his buzzed head, traced his ears with my fingertips and peppered his face with kisses. He fell asleep with a smile on his face. To think a man could be as hard and ready as he’d been and lie down to sleep unfulfilled but happy! Incredible. Wonderful. That was Cole.

I rolled to see the clock on his side of the bed. It was five-fifty. It was never easy to get out of Cole’s big, comfortable bed, but I had something even better than sleeping-in to do. And it all started with a phone call to PHMC. By the time I got out of the shower and had breakfast, Marybeth would be at the office, starting up the coffee pot and warming up the copy machine. I hated to leave her in a lurch, but I planned to renege my offer to return to work next week.

I hoped Cole hadn’t had his heart set on a drive to Philly. At least not any time soon.

* * * *

“…Three, two, one, Happy New Year!” I counted down on video phone with Heather. The dark background came alive with a pinkish glow as the glassy building behind her reflected the first sparks of the Delaware River Waterfront fireworks show. A second later the explosion crackled through the speaker and the music began.