Collide Into You: A Romantic Gender Swap Love Story (36 page)

Keira turns to me. “After I wrote the letter, I honestly thought we would change back. Nothing happened. I felt a few things throughout the day. Little
odd
things that told me maybe we were in the process of changing back. Probably wishful thinking on my part. Okay…here’s my idea. Take it or leave it.” She takes a fortifying breath. “We have to acknowledge that we may not swap back. And if it doesn’t happen, then neither of us will ever be happy. But I think we can be happy…together. Like this. As the other. We’ll get used to being this way and if we’re together, then we won’t have to worry about slipping up. I guess what I’m saying is that I…
I want to be with you
. I’ll love you from
this
body.”

Something inside of me soars. Keira wants to be with me.
Can we make it work?
We’ll have to. “Will we be together in
every
sense of the word?” I croak out this question.
 

I’m actually afraid of both answers. If
yes
, then I’ve lost every bit of skill I’ve gained over the years. We might as well be virgins. If
no
, then I know it will kill me to live with her, be with her, but not be
with
her. But Keira is worth it.

She clears her throat and tightens her hand in mine. “Yes, Dillan. In every way. I’m yours. You’re mine. I’m in love with you, no matter what.”

Everything inside of me warms. I feel feverish, hot, excited. Heat spreads down lower and I want nothing more than to lie naked with her. “Do you think Ellen will mind if we leave?” I ask. I need to be with Keira, and I need us to be alone.

I watch as she swallows hard. She’s affected, too. “Let’s get out of here.”

Keira

T
HINGS
ARE
VERY
UNCOMFORTABLE
DOWNSTAIRS
. The stiff and erect sort of uncomfortable.
 

I grab Dillan’s hand and we run back to the apartment, laughing all the way. The gray sky opens and it begins to rain like crazy. The faster we get to our apartment, the better.

Dillan, in my body, still runs faster than I do, but I don’t care. We dash into the lobby of the apartment building and gain the attention of every eyeball presently available. I laugh harder. I wonder if I’ll regret any of this tomorrow. God, I hope not. I don’t want to regret anything from this point forward.

Inside the elevator, our wet bodies collide into each other, but we don’t do more than that. I have a feeling once we start, we won’t stop, and I don’t want our first time to be in an elevator.

The hallway to the apartment seems to stretch out and double in length. It’s like a math equation: wanting
something
plus the time it takes to get
that
something is always
twice
as long as previously expected.

Then the key is in the lock and the door is thrust open by both our hands, and it slams behind us, and Dillan, on tiptoes, presses me against the door, and his lips crash on mine. My body digs into his and my erection throbs and my ears ring and my hands pull him harder into me.

His fingers scramble at the jacket, the shirt, and I help him. Buttons fly, the wet jacket is flung, and we stumble over to his room, kissing, moaning, begging for more.

“I want you so much, I might burst,” he says once we reach his bedroom door. We look inside and remember that his room is a mess. We’d kill ourselves trying to get in there. “Your room?” he asks.

“Yes.”

Dillan

T
HE
WALK
FROM
MY
BEDROOM
door to
her
bedroom door is like three light years away. We can’t get there fast enough, and it doesn’t help that we trip over the coffee table.
 

Keira’s room seems smaller with both of us in it. Or maybe it’s because I feel bigger around her. She smells like rain and sex.

Her hair is wet. She’s wearing my pants and not much else. I’m still wearing
everything
.

“This is a problem,” I say, before crashing right back into her. I feel her smile beneath my lips. Yes, technically I’m kissing myself. Screw it. I don’t give a shit anymore.
 

I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want Keira. Every second I’m not touching her is agony for me.
 

I pull off my shirt, the bra—which doesn’t come off fast enough, so I rip it off—the pants, everything, and I watch as Keira removes her pants, and within a few seconds, we’re naked in front of each other.

And we don’t know where to begin or what to do. From this point, it feels like things move in slow motion.

Her—my—erection is evident. Her eyes are dark and heavy with arousal. I’m feeling heavy down
there
.
 

“We’ll figure this out together, all right?” I say.
 

I feel like a virgin. Clumsy and all knees and elbows.

“Okay,” she says.

I lean into her, our clammy, wet skin touching, and I reach up to kiss her while I let my hand lightly travel down her chest, her stomach, and then, with an intake of breath, I gently palm the erection. I won’t do much more than that, but I need her to know that if we’re going to do this, then we are going to go all the way.

“Oh, my God,” she whispers, kissing me harder. Her fingers rake my back. She pulls at my wet hair. “That feels incredible.”

Keira

D
ILLAN
’
S
HANDS
ARE
SCORCHING
HOT
. When he touches me
there
, I know there’s no going back. It felt intense, incredible, and erotic. Honestly, I have no idea how we are going to manage this. I feel like a fumbling teenager again, learning the ropes of sex.

I find it interesting—and fitting—that at eighteen, I wanted to lose my virginity to Dillan. Now, at twenty-seven, I get to experience a different sort of
first time
with him.

“I apologize for this in advance,” he says mischievously.

“Whaaaaa…” I ask, just as he pushes me down on the bed, straddles me, and locks his lips on mine. Our bodies fit together perfectly. “You are so evil,” I say, laughing. I feel his heat touching me, touching the core of him, and instinctively I thrust up.

The tip of this throbbing erection, maybe an inch, I’m not sure, slips in and then back out, and cascades of pleasure ripple through me so fast that I can barely breathe.

Dillan moans in my ear and I swear it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. Some other emotion builds up in me. Power. Lust. Control. Possessiveness.
 

“And I apologize in advance for this,” I say heatedly. I clasp my arms around Dillan and roll us over so that I’m now on top. His hair has come undone and wet strands splay every which way on the pillow. His legs are wide open, his hips reaching, thrusting—I know my own body’s signs—and I say, “It’s about time I admit that I’m in love with you, Dillan.”

I hear his quick intake of breath.
 

“I’m in with love you, too, Keira.” It shatters my insides when he says it.

Dillan’s body knows what to do, but I’m the wrong person to drive it. I think I’m in the right spot when I push.

“A little more to the left, Keira,” he says with a chuckle.

“Sorry.” I try again, laughing. I reposition my arms.

“Uh, now you’re too low.” Dillan shifts. “
Way
too low.” He makes an odd face and I laugh-snort. “You’re a terrible aim, Keira.”
 

I can’t stop laughing. He reaches between us and moves Dillan’s package into the correct position. Suddenly everything fits and my laughter abruptly stops. I suck in air.

The tip of me slides in. Slowly. Wickedly. Sinfully. Everything there is hot, wet, and tight, and it’s like he’s pulling me in.

When I’m all the way in, it feels like I’m already sweating. I’m on my elbows, above Dillan, and my muscles are contracted to keep me from crushing him. But Jesus, it’s the sweetest feeling I’ve ever experienced.
 

“I had no idea it could be like this, Dillan.” And I’m not just talking about the sex.

He swallows hard. “Me, neither.”

Dillan

H
EAT
BUILDS
AND
I
MOAN
as she slides in. Our bodies fit perfectly, and when her lips lock on mine and she thrusts in and out a little bit, I feel like I’m on fire.

The problem is that we have zero rhythm.
 

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” Keira says, her voice a combination of humor and lust.

“It still feels good, though,” I say, sucking on her neck. “Do a slow rocking movement.” When she goes in deep during the next thrust, I actually do a scream-moan. I clap a hand over my mouth. “I can’t believe I just did that. That’s so porno.”

She thrusts like that again, and again, and again, and each time, I scream in pleasure.
 

“I’ve never been a screamer before,” Keira says. “I don’t care who hears us, Dillan.” She molds her body to mine and seems to find a good rhythm. The bed rocks, I moan into her ears. She moans into mine. I’ve never experienced pleasure like this. I never knew the full feeling, the emotional closeness of this before. I’ve had sex, lots of it, but I’ve never made love.

Not until Keira.

Something builds, it spreads, it’s hot, it’s intense, and without warning, an earth-shattering climax crashes through me. Keira’s lips find mine when it happens.

Keira

D
ILLAN
SHAKES
BENEATH
ME
,
CLIMAXING
, and it sets me over the edge. There’s no way I can hold anything back. I have no experience. He holds me tightly as he comes down from his high.

I thrust again. He moans.
 

“I’m afraid I’m going to hurt you if I keep going,” I say.

“And I’ll hurt you if you stop,” he jokes.

I press myself as close as possible to Dillan and kiss him, and I move. It’s deep, it’s shallow, it’s fast, and it’s slow, and hearing his moans combined with mine and knowing that he loves me and that I return his love fills me so soundly, so completely.

It starts slow, the pressure, the build-up, and it ramps up with each thrust. I don’t know where the pleasure begins or ends. All I know is that an overpowering feeling explodes inside me. I yell out something incoherent—gibberish, probably—as the pleasure washes over me. In equal parts, I’m sure I’m either dying or hallucinating, because I’ve never felt anything like this before.
 

It takes me a second to realize I’ve crashed on top of Dillan.

“You’re crushing me,” he says with a laugh. I move and lay beside him, panting.

“That…was…amazing,” I say. “Man want woman,” I say in a caveman voice as I pull in him into me. I reach in for a kiss and I’m promptly rewarded. “On a scale of one to ten, I’d say my performance was easily a ten.”

He thumps me on the chest and I laugh out loud.

“I loved every second of it, Keira,” Dillan says. “I love you. I have loved you for so long.”

I smile into his kiss. “It took us long enough, didn’t it? I meant what I said in the letter. I had to learn that loving you didn’t
also
mean giving myself up. There’s more of me because I love you. I’m not different, but I’m not the same. I feel happier than I’ve felt in, oh, forever. Thank you for being patient with me. We can work through this, can’t we? I mean, we’ll figure it out as we go.”

“We have all night to practice,” he says, kissing me. I feel breasts against my arm.

“You know what I mean.” I feel the stirrings of another erection.

“Yes, I did. But your body knew what
I
meant,” he laughs as he crawls on top of me and proceeds to blow my mind.

Dillan

I
DON
’
T
KNOW
IF
I’
LL
ever the hang of being a female after our third round of sex. Things are
sore
. My inner thighs refuse to obey even the simplest of commands, like moving or walking to the bathroom.

Even shifting in bed hurts.

“Does it ever quit?” Keira asks me, pointing down to her fourth erection. She’s pushing it with her finger.

“It’s never been with the girl he loves. Cut him a little slack,” I say sleepily. “It will go down after a few minutes.” I snuggle in close and in a matter of minutes, I’m fast sleep.

I’m not sure what wakes me. It’s dark outside, I feel Keira’s warm body pressed next to mine, and I smile contently. I nearly fall back asleep.

Then I realize Keira isn’t just lying next to me, she’s on her side, propped up on her elbow, and, with the fingers of her free hand, it feels like she’s writing words into my chest.

I stay still for a moment, trying to figure out what she’s writing.

Wake. Up. Dillan.

“I’m awake,” I say groggily. I pull her in close. She seems…smaller. Curvier. I think I feel her long hair tickling my chest. She flattens her hand, moves it across my chest—my flat chest—and then walks her fingers down. Down. Down. Her hand wraps around me, around an erection attached to me. The real me. To Dillan Pope. I’m over the moon. And the fact that Keira is next to me means I’m double over the moon.

“Guess what?” she asks. She starts to move her hand in a coordinating manner. It’s hard to concentrate.

I pretend to play along. My smile is so big, my mouth nearly refuses to obey me when I say, “What?”
 

“It worked.”

“What worked?”

She growls at me, grabs my hand, and places it against her breast. I chuckle, lean up, and kiss her. I remember that before I fell asleep, every part of
my female anatomy
was sore, so I don’t press for more than kissing.

“I certainly did a number on myself,” she says. “I can barely move.”

“Keira, I love you,” I say seriously. I want to say it over and over again but I have a feeling she’d kick me out of bed. “I want you to promise me one thing.”

“Hm, what’s that?” She nuzzles into me.