Collision
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING
about
STEFNE MILLER’S BOOKS
Salvaged
and
Rise
are the most amazing books I’ve ever read; I’m obsessed! You laugh, cry, and even laugh while you cry. I’ve gotten many people to read them and they all say the same thing, “This is brilliant!
—EMILEE
16 years old, Edmond, OK
Stefne Miller has the ability to throw me in the front seat of a roller coaster, grip a hold of my heart, and take me on a ride full of emotions, filled with highs and lows. Her novels make me laugh and cry and leave me thinking about the story and their characters long after I’ve turned the final page. Young or old, no matter your age, her stories will inspire you and you’ll want to pass them on to your friends and family or strangers because they deserve to be shared with everyone. With stellar writing and believable stories, Stefne continues to inspire me with her work, and I’ll forever be a fan of her novels for the rest of my life.
—LONI FLOWERS
Book Blogger/Reviewer, www.acasualreader.com
Stefne Miller is one of my favorite authors. I simply count down the days until the next of her books will be out!
Salvaged
and
Rise
are among the books I press into the hands of everyone I know, as I know they will enjoy them too.
—ERICA HAGLUND
Young Adult Book Blogger/Reviewer, www.thebookcellarx.com
Salvaged
and
Rise
were so relatable. When Attie cried, laughed, or fell in love, I was right there with her. The messages in these books truly encouraged me in my walk with Jesus and gave me a refreshed thankfulness for His overwhelming love.
—WHITNEY HAND
Guard, University of Oklahoma Women’s Basketball 2008–2012
Our teenagers are hurting. They are constantly bombarded with how culture tells them to live their life contrary to the gospel of Jesus Christ. They many times lack godly guidance and practical teachings. Stefne has put in story form the biblical lessons we would want our teenagers to grasp and radically live in their life. She unashamedly has her characters embark on journeys through pain, disappointments, sexuality, social pressures, and boundaries. She tunes into the emotions and desires of a teenager, making it an easy and enjoyable read. As a counselor to teens and their parents and wife to a student pastor, I am glad to have these books to use as a resource to influence the next generation toward truth and freedom. God is making all things new!
—AMY BUTLER
Director of Counseling Services at Cross Church, Springdale, AR, Student Pastor Wife, Mom of 3
As a Lead Pastor, Youth Director, and a guy, I can truly say that these books have captivated me. They are not just stories, but a clear and relevant insight into the mind and hearts of what our young people deal with. Stefne’s way of weaving the struggle between pain and triumph through the eyes of the reader, plus the image of a relational, jeans-and-t-shirt Jesus, is incredible! I wish more of us could see Jesus in such a real and intimate way! I recommend all her books to any of our students (and to anyone else)!
—PASTOR T, REV. THOMAS BUCKLEY
Lead Pastor, Judah Worship Center,
Youth Director, Independent Assemblies
Being in full-time ministry, I see the identity crisis facing our teenage girls. They are being pulled in so many directions as a daughter, student, athlete, friend, girlfriend, sister, etc. Stefne Miller’s books give girls a glimpse into their own world as a teenager but show how they can balance it all by finding their first love, Jesus. These books are real! They show the realness of parental struggles, friendship struggles, boyfriend struggles, and above all, how Jesus can help in every single one of them. I am blown away by her books and you will be too!”
—SARAH ROBERTS
Director of Women’s Ministries, Fellowship of Christian Athletes
It’s hard to find someone who can create engaging, true-to-life characters like Stefne Miller did in
Salvaged
and
Rise
. Her passion for the topics she explores is clearly communicated in a comfortable, conversational way that makes it really hard to put the book down! I love sharing Stefne’s books with my family and friends!
—CARI KELLEY
Next Gen Team, OKC Campus, www.LifeChurch.tv
Stefne Miller is a gifted writer with a unique voice who loves teens and speaks their language. I am so blessed to have her as a co-laborer in loving this generation.
—CATHERINE MOSIER
M.MFT, LPC, Christian Counselor of 25 years, Heartland Christian Counseling, Inc.
DEDICATION
TO THE PEOPLE OF NORTHERN UGANDA:
Walking amongst you changed my life in a way I could never express in words. Your love for each other, forgiveness of all, and heart for God in the midst of trial is the greatest picture of hope through Christ that I’ve ever witnessed. You inspire me to seek after God with all my might and pray for a heart like his.
TO THE INVISIBLE CHILDREN ORGANIZATION:
Your documentary started me on a path of discovery. It opened my eyes to the plight of the children of Uganda and my heart to love a people half a world away. If it weren’t for your organization, I wouldn’t have walked the streets of Gulu, the IDP Camps of Northern Uganda, adopted our son, Yohannes, or written this story. You started it all, and I am eternally grateful.
TO FAVOR OF GOD MINISTRIES:
I’ve never witnessed the Lord move like I did in your mission house. I’ve never felt a heart connection with anyone like I did with your staff or been touched by anyone like the children in your House of Hope. The work you do for the kingdom is awe inspiring. Thank you for welcoming me with open arms. I’ve never forgotten my time amongst you and never will.
TO SHAUN:
I’ll never forget watching you stand in a little hut in Opit, preaching the gospel, playing with the children at House of Hope, or being followed by hundreds of children as you walked through the IDP camps, or the little ones who climbed into the tree to hear you talk about Jesus. What an amazing experience, and how blessed I was to get to experience it all with you! I hope we get to go back again… and often.
TO MY BOYS, JACOB, CALEB, AND YOHANNES:
What can I say? I have the most incredible children ever born! Each one of you is a true joy and blessing to my life. I can’t wait to see what God does in each of your lives.
TO MY MOM: Thanks for your constant support—and free editing! I love you and appreciate you more than you know.
—STEFNE MILLER
C H A P T E R
1
Seven minutes inside a hotel room with a total stranger; that’s become my life. A friendly greeting where we pretend to be great friends who are genuinely happy to see each other, and then straight to business. None of it meaningful. None of it real.
All of it rehearsed, choreographed, and expected. But of course, we try to act like it’s not.
Then, as fast as it starts, it’s over. Polite good-byes, a quick handshake, and the visitor is rushed out the door, passing the next appointment as they arrive for their seven minutes of allotted time. Once this new body enters the room, the entire process starts again.
Yesterday, there were fifty interludes because my life is not actually lived; it’s performed. And yesterday, each performance lasted about seven minutes.
I don’t know yet what kind of performance will be expected out of me today. My life is not my own anymore. I pretty much go wherever I’m told and put on the show. It’s my life, and whether I chose it or not, it’s the life I’ve got.
That’s probably why I have the dreams I do. They aren’t ever nice, pleasant dreams. I’m always either chasing after something or looking for something. Last night, in the few hours of sleep I managed to get, I dreamed that I was searching for a car in a large parking lot. I had to be somewhere, but I couldn’t find the car, so I wasn’t going to make it.
I’m searching in my dreams and in my life, always searching. I just don’t know what for.
My cell phone rang. I tried to ignore it but couldn’t. The reality of a new day was impossible to ignore, and I didn’t have much choice but to go ahead and face it head on.
I opened my eyes, but the room was too dark to see anything. The heavily lined curtains were doing a great job of hiding the fact that the sun was up outside and a new day had started, but I felt like I’d just finished the night before and desperately needed more sleep.
My hand fumbled around the nightstand until it finally landed on my cell phone.
“What?” I asked as I put it to my ear.
“This is your wake-up call,” James said. His voice was just as groggy and angry sounding as mine. “Plane leaves in three hours.”
“Yeah.”
I jammed another pillow under my neck and slapped myself in the face several times. Early mornings and I hated each other. We were mortal enemies, and they somehow managed to kick my tail every time we went into battle.
“Where am I going today? I’ve lost track,” I asked.
“Come on, Cab. Get with it. You’re done promoting. No more press junkets for a while. You’re heading to Asheville to hide out at Oliver’s. Remember?”
“Oliver?”
“That movie producer I’ve been trying to get you to meet
with.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Are you hung over?”
“No. I told you I wasn’t doing all-nighters anymore.”
“Since when?”
“Since almost two months ago.”
I rubbed my eyes, but it was more from irritation than sleepiness. My manager drove me crazy at normal hours of the day, and having to listen to him first thing in the morning was worse.
“You
sound
hung over.”
“I’m not. I’m worn out. I sat and did interviews for nine hours yesterday, interviews you set guys up, by the way. So don’t give me grief if I sound bad.”
“Hey, I was just checking.”
“Whatever. What time is the car coming?”
“Ten.”
“I’ll be ready.”
I slammed the phone shut and threw the comforter off the bed. The cold air on my skin helped wake me up to the point that I could finally swing my legs over the side of the bed, sit, and try to form a complete thought.
I was in Australia, had been for two days or something like that. In three hours, I would be on another plane, and in twenty-four hours, I would be on another continent. Nothing out of the ordinary.
I looked over at the empty space next to me. Sofie must have left after I fell asleep. We never actually spent the night in each other’s room. More than likely, I wouldn’t even see her before my plane left. I was relieved.
I rushed to get dressed before finally opening the curtains to let the sunlight explode into the room. I was blinded until my eyes adjusted to the brightness.
Even before opening the balcony door, I heard cars honking and traffic roaring on the street below the hotel suite I’d been hiding away in for the last thirty-six hours. There was nothing peaceful about the paradise I was located in. As a matter of fact, there was nothing peaceful about anything. Not anymore anyway.