Colm & the Lazarus Key (5 page)

She turned to Colm and The Brute. ‘Mrs McMahon has been kind enough to get some of the kitchen staff back for the night, even though we’re the only guests. We’ll meet up in the restaurant in an hour. It’s in a room to the right of the reception desk
.
’

‘Yeah, there’s a sign on the door. It says “restaurant” in big black letters. It’s probably somewhere around there,’ said The Brute. He’d gone forty-two minutes without a sarcastic remark. The record had to end sometime.

‘Michael
…
’

‘Sorry, Auntie Mary
,
’ The Brute said before she had the chance to humiliate him.

‘Right. You two. One hour
.
’ She looked at her watch. ‘That’s a quarter-past seven. Don’t be late
.
’

Colm breathed a sigh of relief when she left the room. He hoped nobody would mention what had just happened.

‘My little Colm, huh?’ Lauryn said.

No such luck.

‘Do you want me to give you a huggy-wuggy?’ said The Brute.

‘Or a kissy-wissy
,
’ said Lauryn with a giggle, although for some reason The Brute looked sort of cross when she said that.

Colm didn’t even bother trying to defend himself. What could he say?

‘I’d better go
,
’ Lauryn said.

‘Sure
,
’ said The Brute.

‘See you later, guys
,
’ she said.

The Brute spoke just before she left the room.

‘Lauryn, can I ask you something?’ he said.

‘Shoot,’ she replied.

The Brute took this to mean he should go ahead and ask. He cleared his throat. He was building up to something big, but before he said it he turned to Colm.

‘You. In the bathroom. Now. This is a private conversation,’ he said.

Colm was about to protest, but decided to go along with the demand, just for an easy life. He’d had enough problems today as it was. He went into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the cast iron bath. He could hear the murmur of conversation from outside, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. First the low tones of The Brute, then Lauryn’s higher-pitched voice. Finally, he heard the bedroom door close. That must be Lauryn leaving, he thought. He waited for The Brute to tell him it was OK to come out of the bathroom, but when he’d heard nothing after five minutes, he opened the door.

The Brute was lying on the bed.

‘Did I tell you you could leave the bathroom?’ he asked.

‘Is Lauryn gone?’ Colm asked, ignoring the question.

‘No, she’s hiding under the bed
.
’

Colm sat down. He wished she hadn’t left. He still hadn’t managed to get her to explain the curse. It was starting to gnaw away at him and he needed to talk about it.

‘I have a problem
,
’ The Brute said.

Colm sighed with relief. The Brute may be, well, brutish, but he wasn’t going to let his cousin down when he was in trouble. He was there when Colm had run his fingers along the spine of
The Book of Dread
. He was there when Lauryn said it was cursed. He knew what Colm was worried about. Good old Brute. On his side at last. He’d help him in his hour of need.

Wait, he’d said ‘I have a problem
’
. He meant ‘We have a problem
’
, didn’t he?

‘What’s wrong?’ Colm asked.

‘Lauryn likes books.’

Oh. He did mean he had a problem after all. Looked like Colm was going to have to deal with things by himself.

‘So what if she likes books?’ he asked, unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

‘I’ve never read a book in my life,’ said The Brute. He almost sounded proud when he said it.

‘When you say never
…
’

‘Not once
.
’

‘Except for the novels you read in school. For English, I mean
,
’ Colm said.

‘Jeez, you’re supposed to be smart. When I said never, I meant it. I never read one, not even those boring ones in school. I’d either copy the homework or sometimes I’d get a DVD of the book,’ said The Brute. He tapped his forehead. ‘It’s called thinking. I’m not thick, you know
.
’

‘I never said you were
,
’ said Colm.

‘But you think it
.
’

This wasn’t entirely untrue, which is to say it was mainly true. The Brute never struck Colm as someone who’d win Mastermind when he grew up.

‘I don’t see what this has got to do with me
,
’ Colm said.

The Brute sighed. ‘It’s not difficult, Uggo. Lauryn is gorgeous. I fancy her. If she thinks we like the same things then she’ll like me. Then she becomes girlfriend number thirty-three for Michael “Superdude” McGrath
.
’

‘Is that how you get a girlfriend – by pretending to be different from who you really are?’

‘Works every time. Anyway, you know books. Teach me
,
’ said The Brute.

‘But that’s not fair. You’ll be tricking her into liking you.’

The Brute pointed to himself. ‘You see this? You see this face? This is the face of someone who doesn’t care
.
’ He looked at his watch. ‘We have twenty minutes. Tell me everything you know about books. Stuff that makes me look like I read all the time. Unless you have a problem with that?’

He cracked his knuckles.

Colm gulped. Twice.

‘No problem at all
,
’ he squeaked.

·•·

The next twenty minutes flew by. Much to his surprise, Colm was having fun. He told his cousin everything he knew about books, which was a lot, and The Brute memorised everything he could, which wasn’t very much. It was the first time they’d had a proper conversation. It almost felt like they were friends.

Until The Brute said, ‘Thanks for the info, Jessica.’

Calling him a girl’s name. That was a new one.

‘We’d better go down to the restaurant
,
’ Colm said. ‘Mam’ll go mad if we’re late
.
’

‘I’m not going,’ said The Brute. ‘I’ve got things to do.’

Colm assumed that the things included hanging out with Lauryn.

‘What’ll I say to Mam?’ he asked.

‘I don’t care
,
’ said The Brute. ‘Make up an excuse, but make it a good one
.
’

‘OK
,
’ Colm said.

He opened the bedroom door but hesitated before he left.

‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Go on,’ said The Brute with a sigh.

‘Do you remember what Lauryn said earlier about the book being cursed?’

The Brute nodded.

‘Do you believe what she said?’ Colm asked.

‘I don’t believe in curses. Or fairies or leprechauns or goblins or witches. Don’t tell me you’re scared?’

‘Of course I’m not,’ Colm lied.

‘That’s typical of you,’ said The Brute. ‘Just sitting there all worried. If it was me I’d be out there getting answers. When you have a problem you can do one of two things – you can either feel sorry for yourself or you can take action. That’s what my dad always says.’

‘That doesn’t sound like something Seanie’d say.’

‘Seanie’s not my dad
,
’ he shouted.

Colm ducked as a pillow hit the wall.

‘See you later,’ he said shutting the door behind him.

·•·

The Book of Dread (4)

April 13th, 1896

The Lazarus Key exists! In fact, at one stage there were three of them. I can hardly believe it. I have spent days in the great libraries of Dublin and found numerous references to it. My uncle is furious with me. He says that I have failed him by not having the hotel ready as promised, but I do not care. If I find the Key I shall be a rich man. It is worth thousands of pounds.

According to my research the first record of the Key was in a remote area of Asia in the third century. It was worshipped by an obscure religious cult known as the Ruksza. They used the Key in battles against their barbaric neighbours and believed the Key had great powers. Whoever holds the Key will not die. If they are fatally wounded they will return to life.

Attila the Hun was said to have stolen one of the Keys and his army was so terrified of him coming back after his death that he was buried in a triple coffin of gold, silver and iron beneath a riverbed. Of course I do not believe this magical nonsense, but the stories will only add to the value of the Key when I find it and sell it to a collector or a museum.

The Key is even mentioned in the stories of Genghis Khan. The Ruksza were the only tribe in their region that the great warlord failed to conquer. The legends said that when his armies knew of the presence of the Key they refused to wage war upon them.

In the Kildare Street library I met a Mr Stoker who, upon seeing the books I was reading, became most animated. He was on holiday from London and said he had heard of the Key during the course of his own research for a novel he has written which will be published next year. He said that in Romania the terrible ruler, Vlad the Impaler, came back to life after his death with the aid of a Key. I must return to the Red House and find the Key. Immediately.

‘C
an you zoom in?’ Cedric asked.

‘You tell me. It’s your laptop
,
’ said the security woman, but then she added, ‘No. If we zoom in we lose quality
.
’

They were in a small office at Shannon airport. Too small for Cedric, Kate and the security woman to fit in all at once, so Kate had left, supposedly to talk to someone who might be able to help them, but Cedric suspected it was also to have a crafty smoke.

The busy sound of cars, taxis and buses, and the noisy chatter of passengers drifted in through the open window. But it was still roasting in the office and Cedric felt far too hot and very uncomfortable.

‘Could you not have found somewhere bigger than this place?’ he asked.

‘I’ll tell you what, Cedric – why don’t we go to the Garda office? I hear it has nice comfortable chairs and it’s very spacious and airy. While we’re there we can tell them how I illegally downloaded CCTV footage from the airport’s security cameras while my pig-headed boss was on a toilet break, then rang you on your mobile to tell you about it and while I waited for you to drive down from Dublin I put the images on a CD which I’m going to give you in exchange for money. I’m sure they’d love to know all that. Then when we’re both in prison you can tell me if your cell is bigger than this office
,
’ the security woman said.

‘A simple yes or no would have done,’ said Cedric. ‘Are you always this crabby?’

‘Only when I meet you. You bring out the worst in me.’

‘I have that effect on a lot of people. Natural charm, I suppose
.
’

The footage on the computer’s monitor was in freeze-frame. The picture was a little grainy, but as far as Cedric could make out it was the man he was looking for all right. Looked like wasn’t good enough though. He needed to be certain.

‘When was this taken?’

‘Tuesday
.
’

Two days ago. The timing was right.

‘Can you run it for me again?’ he asked.

‘What’s the magic word?’

‘Abracadabra.’

The security woman wasn’t amused.

‘Please
,
’ sighed Cedric.

She moved her fingers over the computer’s pad then clicked on the rewind button on the screen. The people moved backwards in a jerky motion. They looked like puppets being controlled by someone up above. The woman pressed play and all the people on the monitor moved forward.

Cedric leaned in close to the screen, but the closer he got the more out of focus the image seemed. He rubbed his eyes.

‘Just one more time.’

The security woman rewound the footage again and pressed the play button. Cedric watched the tall, thin man look up at the camera for the briefest of moments, then he seemed to realise what he’d done and covered his face with his hand. Definitely suspicious.

‘He seems to know the two in front of him
,
’ Cedric said.

‘If you say so.’

He watched as the tall, thin man vanished from the screen. Two-day-old CCTV footage. That’s all they had to go on. If it was the wrong man and they ended up following him, they could waste valuable hours and all the while the little rat-faced man would be waiting for him. Waiting for him to make a mistake.

‘Ced, got a moment?’ Kate said, sticking her head around the door.

‘I’ll be back in a minute
,
’ he said to the security woman.

‘I can’t wait
,
’ she replied in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

Cedric stepped outside and breathed in the exhaust fumes of the passing traffic. At least the air was cooler out here.

‘Tell me you’ve got good news, Kate
,
’ he said.

‘Depends on what you mean by good news.’

‘The only good news I could get at the moment is that we’ve found our man
.
’

‘We haven’t found him
.
’

‘Thanks Kate, you dragged me out here to tell me we
haven’t
found him. Well, isn’t that brilliant. What are you going to tell me next? You’ve figured out that the big orange disc in the sky disappears at night?’

‘If you’re trying to be funny, you’re not.’

‘Really? Tell me something I don’t know
.
’

‘How about this one? I know how we
can
find him
.
’

Cedric was so happy he wanted to kiss her. He didn’t of course, partly because it would be an uncomfortable, awkward moment for both of them. Mainly though, because he knew that if he kissed her she’d hit him. And not just a gentle slap on the face. It’d be a big, juicy nose-breaker.

·•·

Unlike the small security office, the car-hire building was bright and airy and filled with glum people who were fed up waiting to get their cars. They were even more fed up when Cedric and Kate jumped the queue and went to the top of the line.

‘Hey, I was here first
,
’ said a bald-headed businessman as they shoved past him.

Kate glared at him. ‘Excuse me?’

‘I hadn’t finished my sentence
,
’ gulped the businessman. ‘I was here first, but I’d be delighted to let you two go ahead of me.’

‘That’s very kind of you
,
’ said Kate. She smiled and the businessman shuddered. He had never seen a more terrifying sight in his life.

‘This is Mark
,
’ said Kate introducing the man behind the counter.

‘Thanks. I’d never have been able to read his name tag
,
’ Cedric said.

Mark was skinny and wore far too much hair gel. It was like he’d dipped his head in a tub of grease before he left for work.

‘Mark, tell my colleague Cedric the Sarcastic what you just told me
.
’

‘Not here,’ said Mark. He put a sign on his desk that read ‘Back in five minutes’ amid groans from the rest of the queue and led Kate and Cedric back outside.

‘What have you got for me?’ Cedric asked.

Mark looked nervously around him in case someone was watching them.

‘It’s not a spy drama, Mark. Nobody’s interested in us
.
’

‘Oh,’ he said, disappointed. His job was very boring and he was enjoying feeling like he was part of something exciting. He handed them a printed page. ‘This is a photocopy of the driver’s licence of a man who hired a car from us two days ago
,
’ he said.

Cedric studied the picture.

‘It’s him, isn’t it, the guy from the photo?’ Kate said.

‘Looks like him all right,’ Cedric agreed. ‘Have you got the make, model and registration plate of the car he hired?’

‘Better than that
,
’ Mark said smugly.

Cedric waited for him to finish, but he saw that Mark wanted his moment in the sun. ‘Better than that? Wow, that’s amazing, Mark. What have you got?’ he asked without enthusiasm.

‘He hired a luxury car. All our luxury cars are fitted with GPS,’ he said. ‘That stands for global positioning system. It means we know where the car is at all times.’

He saw the look on Cedric’s face.

‘There wasn’t any need for me to explain that, was there?’

‘No, but please carry on,’ Cedric said through gritted teeth.

‘The car was driven south the day it was hired. It didn’t travel far after that. Never more than outside a two-mile radius of this location.’ He handed Cedric another page. ‘It’s been parked there for the last seven hours.’

This time Cedric was impressed. ‘Is there a chance that this information could be wrong?’

‘Absolutely not. We only use the best of equipment and it’s constantly checked by one of our technicians
,
’ Mark said.

‘That’s excellent work. Thank you very much for your help
,
’ said Cedric in his most pleasant voice.

‘Ahm
.
’

‘Yes, Mark?’

‘The lady said that you’d, you know, pay me if I told you what I knew
,
’ he said.

‘But we have all the information. Why would I bother paying you now?’ Cedric asked.

Mark’s face fell. He looked like he was about to cry.

‘Nah, I’m only messing with you. How much did you promise him, Kate?’

‘Fifty euro
.
’

Cedric took out his wallet. ‘Here’s a hundred
,
’ he said handing over the money. He gave him his business card. ‘My mobile number’s on the card. That car even moves an inch, you give me a call. And if your information is accurate there’ll be another two hundred in it for you.’

‘Yes, Mr Murphy. Thank you,’ Mark beamed.

‘Let’s go,’ Cedric said to Kate.

Mark began to move off in the opposite direction.

‘Aren’t you going to go back into your office?’ Kate asked him.

‘Nah, I’m off on my break. That lot of whingers can wait,’ Mark replied.

‘One other question. Was the man alone?’ Cedric asked.

‘No, there were two others with him. Not the sort that you’d forget either
,
’ said Mark with a wink.

·•·

The Book of Dread (5)

April 14th, 1896

Before I left for the Red House I met with Mr Stoker again. We talked in a teahouse on George’s Street. He showed me some notes he had made on the Lazarus Key. When he was paying for our teas I stole them and ran from the place. I could hear him shouting after me, but I did not care. A short time later I took the train south.

The journey passed quickly as I read his notes. One of the Keys was in America in the earlier part of the century. It was in the possession of a vicious gang of thugs in Boston. They were known as the Sign of Lazarus and every ne’er-do-well member of the gang had their symbol – a diamond inside a skull – tattooed on their finger or the inner part of their arm. They ruled the city with a fist of iron and were as cruel as one’s imagination allows. But then the Key was stolen from them! If my drunken friend from the public house was telling the truth, then I believe I know who the thief was.

Upon my return to the Red House I found my uncle there. He is now overseeing the project, but he would not allow me into the house. He tried to attack me with his walking stick, but I ran away. Later, after nightfall, I crept into the house. It was dark and cold and though I do not like to admit it, I was afraid. Not of my uncle, but of the house itself. There is an eerie feeling about the Red House once darkness falls. I crept into the cellar and by candlelight I found a treasure chest of papers belonging to the family who once owned this house – the DeLancey-O’Brien’s. The papers have confirmed what I suspected. I must take some time to order my thoughts. When I have things clear in my head I will begin my search. Soon I will be rich and I shall laugh in my uncle’s face.