Colorado Heart (9781101612026) (19 page)

“No thanks,” Jake said. “I've got my eyes set elsewhere.”

“And how does she feel about it?” Ward asked.

“I couldn't begin to tell you,” Jake said. He pointed to his glass. “Pour me another one.” Ward was more than happy to oblige.

TWENTY-TWO

C
assie needed to get up, but the thought of moving from the comfortable bed was more than she could stand. She was stiff and she was sore and the past few days were nothing but a blur. The smell of bacon frying and coffee boiling was comforting and familiar, which made her feel very grateful. She was home. She could have been dead.

Ever since the rape, Cassie had wondered if she'd be better off dead. After the last few days she knew alive was better, but dead sure would have been easier this morning. She also knew that lying in bed for another day wouldn't change anything. Cassie stretched and then gasped as a pain shot through her hip. Suzie, who'd spent the past day cuddled up beside her instead of in the barn chasing mice like she was supposed to, let out a questioning mew. Cassie rolled over on her side, threw the blankets back and pulled up her gown. She was black-and-blue from her waist down to mid thigh.

She was lucky she hadn't broken anything. Lucky to be alive. Lucky to be in Colorado instead of Texas. Lucky. Lucky. Lucky.

“Get up,” she told herself, and because she said it out loud she had to do it. Suzie stretched and yawned and followed after her on silent feet.

Her mother sat in her chair as usual, with the same blank expression on her face. Would she have even noticed if Cassie hadn't come home? Would she have grieved if her daughter had died in the canyon, caught up in the flood? Would she even realize it? There was no way to ever know. The only sign she'd shown of life was when Jake walked through the door. And dang it all! Cassie could relate to that; she felt more alive in Jake's presence too.

Rosa called to her from the kitchen. “You feeling better?”

“Just grateful to be alive,” Cassie said. “Where's Manuel?”

“He's fine,” Rosa said, not answering the question. “Eat.” She sat a plate at Cassie's customary chair, and her stomach growled in gratitude. She couldn't remember the last time she'd eaten. So much had happened in such a short time.

Jake had happened. And she didn't know what she was going to do about it.

If only he wasn't so dag-gone wonderful. If only he'd quit helping, quit showing up every time she needed him. If only he wasn't so handsome and funny and didn't make her feel so alive. She didn't want to feel alive. She didn't want to feel anything at all.

Suzie jumped into Manuel's chair and put a white paw on the table to see if anything was within her reach.

“Aren't you supposed to be eating mice?” Cassie asked the cat. She broke off a piece of bacon and put it on the table. Suzie's head popped up; she caught the bacon in her paw and ate it from the chair seat.

“She is more of a house cat than a barn cat, I think,” Rosa said. “She thinks it is her job to keep Max in line. And he lets her.”

“I'm so glad Max wasn't hurt,” Cassie said. “And I'm sorry you were.”

“It is not your fault,” Rosa said. “The world is made up of good and bad people. And they all must learn to live together. The men who attacked us are bad. But there are plenty of good folks around to balance it out.”

“You're talking about Jake,” Cassie said. Why couldn't she escape the man? He was always around, in the flesh and in her dreams, and now he had Rosa carrying on about him.

“Yes. He is a good man. I think the ones who carried Suzie home are good too. The ladies came around yesterday asking about you.”

“The Castles?” Cassie asked. “Laurie and Eden?”

“And the little girl.”

“Hannah.”

“Yes, she is very sweet.”

“Did they come inside the house?” Cassie asked.

“I thought it rude to leave them outside,” Rosa said. “Especially since you were ill and they could not visit with you.” Cassie glanced back at her mother. “They were very nice and understanding,” Rosa said. She sat a jar down on the table. “They brought this grape jelly also.”

Cassie looked at the gift. And then at Rosa, who was busy at the sink. She hadn't been fair to the woman, who was so kind and gave her mother such good care. Rosa was an educated woman and she now lived a lonely life. Of course she would want some company, especially when she was caring for Cassie too. She knew Rosa was waiting for her to say something to her about letting the Castles in. Instead, she got a spoonful of jelly and spread it on her biscuit.

“I'm sorry I missed them,” Cassie said. “Maybe we can go visit them someday. Their house is beautiful. You would love it.”

“I would like that very much,” Rosa said with a sweet smile. Cassie felt like sighing in relief. It shouldn't be that difficult to open herself up to people. Not everyone was out to get her, even though it had seemed that way at one time. Maybe it was difficult because she made it so. “The lambs are coming,” Rosa said. “Manuel is in the barn with the cowboys, showing them what to do.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Cassie asked. She took a big gulp of coffee and immediately regretted it because it was still piping hot. “I should be helping,” she said as she fanned her mouth. She jumped up from her chair.

“I didn't tell you because you wouldn't have eaten breakfast. And you wouldn't be any help to him at all if you pass out.”

Rosa was right. If she'd known about the lambing she would have dashed right down to the barn in her haste to help and would have just caused more trouble. Just like she did when she took off to look for the sheep. Of course, she deserved what happened to her. She hadn't dashed off to look for the sheep. She'd left because she was scared of being around Jake. Cassie quickly put on her clothes and left the house to go to the barn. Suzie trailed after her.

Jake . . . The man had her twisted in knots inside. She couldn't go on this way. Yes, she liked talking to him, and he had this knack for showing up whenever there was trouble, but was it worth it? Was it worth this restlessness she'd felt since she'd met him?

He wanted more from her. Yesterday morning in the cave was proof of that. And there'd been times when she was certain he wanted to kiss her. She just wasn't sure if she wanted to kiss him back. She couldn't kiss him back. She had to stop things before he wanted something she couldn't give. It would be hard, but it was for the best.

Jake made her feel vulnerable. He knew things about her that she didn't want to share. She couldn't love him. Loving someone meant opening yourself up to more hurt. She clearly remembered how devastated her mother and her grandparents had been when her father died. She would never forget how her grandfather grieved after his wife died. And the love her mother felt for her was the cause of her condition now. Cassie knew she wouldn't survive it if she opened herself up to Jake and he pushed her away. Life was much safer when you lived it defensively. There was less chance of suffering, less chance of hurt.

She couldn't love Jake, so she wouldn't. It was that simple, wasn't it? Cassie, her mind made up, would make sure it stayed that way. And speak of the devil; there he was coming up her drive. It must be providence. It was time to tell Jake not to come around anymore.

*   *   *

Cassie must be feeling better. She walked down her drive with a purpose, even with the slight limp. Her cat followed along behind with her bushy tail up in a question mark. He was glad to see Cassie had quickly recovered from her escapades. Now if he could just convince her not to do anything else foolish.
Like get in a fight in a saloon?
Jake tested his jaw another time. It was sore, and the skin around his left eye was a bit green, a predecessor to turning black-and-blue he was sure. But it was worth it to give Baxter the beating he deserved. Not to mention he'd slept like the dead last night in his room at Ward's. Jake felt darn good this morning.

Jake stopped Bright and propped his arms on the saddle horn as Cassie got closer. The weather was perfect after all the storms, not too hot, a nice breeze blowing, one of those days that you really enjoyed being outside. “Nice day for a stroll,” he said when she was close enough that he wouldn't have to raise his voice.

“I really didn't notice,” she said, and she kept on walking with a noticeable limp.

“Where are you off to?” Jake asked.

“The barn,” she said. “There's work to be done.”

“Well wait a minute. I've got something for you.”

She gave him an exasperated look, but she stopped. Jake dug a crumpled paper bag from his pocket and handed it to her. She opened the bag and a slight smile chased across her lips before she closed the bag and put it in her pocket.

“I noticed that you like peppermint,” Jake said. “That first day we rode back from town.”

“I do,” Cassie said. “Thank you.” She took off again.

“So what kind of work has you in such a hurry to get it done?”

“Lambing.”

“Lambing?”

“Yes, lambing. You know what lambs are, don't you, Jake?”

“Baby sheep?” he said with a grin. “I was just discussing the merits of sheep with someone last night.”

“I take it from looking at your face that the discussion didn't go your way.”

“That's because you haven't seen the other guy's face.” Jake got off Bright and fell in beside her as Cassie did not seem inclined to stop. “So tell me about lambing.”

“It's busy.”

“What, they all give birth at the same time?”

“Pretty much.”

“That's convenient.”

“Don't cows do the same?”

“It all depends on when the bull got to them.” Jake decided he like the turn the conversation had taken and grinned.

“I guess that makes it easy for you,” Cassie said.

“I reckon it does,” Jake replied. She seemed snippy, almost bitter. There was an edge to her comments that was different from before. “I'm glad to see you're feeling better,” he gently offered.

“Thank you,” Cassie said. She had her nose in the air again.

“I'd say dang near back to normal except for that rod up your backside.”

“I beg your pardon?” Cassie rounded on him. The cat twirled around her ankles and then his before rubbing against his pant leg.

“You heard me,” Jake challenged her. “I find it hard to believe that after everything we've been through the past few days you're acting like this.”

“Acting like what?” she asked indignantly.

“A petulant child,” Jake stated.

Cassie sighed. “I can't do this, Jake.”

“Do what?”

“This dance of yours . . .” She looked away from him for a moment and then turned back. “I really appreciate everything you've done. You saved my life. That's something I can never repay. Ever,” she said with finality and started walking again.

“Wait just a dang minute.” He went after Cassie and grabbed her arm. She jerked him off in a hurry.

Jake moved his arm back, took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. “I'm sorry,” he said. He should know better than to grab her like that. He wasn't thinking. Or maybe he'd thought after what they'd been through, she wouldn't mind it so much.

“I wish I hadn't lost my gun,” Cassie said, and started walking again.

Yeah, she minded. Jake planted his hat back on his head. “Why, are you planning on shooting someone?”

“I might.” She looked at him sideways from beneath her long, lush lashes. Her hair was all over the place again and some of it hung in her eyes. Jake laughed. “It's not funny, Jake.”

“Yes it is.” He sure had missed her sass these past few days. “What have I done to deserve being shot? Besides bringing you a sack full of peppermint?”

“What haven't you done?” Cassie retorted.

“If this is how you treat your friends, then I'm glad I'm not your enemy.”

“Is that what we are, Jake?” She stopped and put her hands on her hips as she looked at him. “Friends?”

“That's what I thought, and I did buy you candy. I guess I thought wrong.”

Cassie started walking again. “What's the news from town? Do I have anything else to worry about?”

“I don't know anyone's intent right now,” Jake said. “There's no proof as to who attacked your place even though we're all pretty certain it was Watkins's men. As long as Dan and Randy are here you should be safe.”

“They can't stay here forever,” Cassie said. “They work for you, not me. But I will pay them for their time while they're here.”

“No you won't pay them,” Jake argued. They came to the barn. “They work for me. I'm the one who pays them.”

Cassie stood beside the door with her arms crossed once more. “I'll pay you then.”

“No you won't,” Jake said as he opened the door. The cat dashed in before them.

“Damn it, Jake,” Cassie spouted as she went in. “You can't keep doing things for me. It's just not right.”

“Ha!” he said with glee. “You just cursed.”