Coming Back To You (9 page)

“Well?” she said, covering her mouth with her
hand.

He nodded and licked powdered sugar off his
lips. “Not perfect, but not bad for a first attempt.”

Karma had been at Single Servings for over
three hours. And she hadn’t died. Honestly, she’d had a good time.
Maybe even a great one. She’d only thought about Mark a couple of
times, but for the most part, she’d kept herself in the moment. And
Brad was nice. She was glad she’d come and bumped into him.

As the evening wound down and everyone
filtered out—some in pairs or groups, others alone—Brad helped her
into her coat.

“I’m glad you came tonight,” he said.

“Me, too.” She started for the door, carrying
her container of truffles.

“Do you think you’ll be back next week?” He
followed her into the chilly night. The interest in his voice was
unmistakable.

Was she ready to embark on another journey
with a man other than Mark? If she did this, she would be taking
her first step toward walking away from Mark for good…really saying
good-bye this time. Not like before, when she’d said good-bye but
hadn’t meant it.

She glanced at Brad, and he smiled
hopefully.

Brad didn’t seem afraid of commitment. He’d
been married once, and even though he’d been divorced, he was out
here trying to meet someone else, daring to try again despite past
failure, unlike Mark, who had never recovered from being jilted and
a lifetime of letting go of his heart only to have it squashed. If
she sat around waiting for Mark, she would only meet
disappointment. Mark wouldn’t come back. And if he did, he would
never marry her. He would never want a commitment. Brad seemed more
than ready for both.

“Yes,” she said. “I’ll be back next week.
What about you?”

His smile lit up his whole face. “I will be
now.” He walked her to her car. “Good night, Karma. Happy
Valentine’s Day. I’ll see you next week.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too.” A tiny
bubble of excitement gurgled in her heart.

As she drove home, she silently thanked Mark
for everything he’d taught her. Without his help, she wasn’t sure
she would have met Brad, and she wasn’t sure she would have felt
enough confidence to talk to him.

Maybe Jan was right. Maybe Mark’s purpose had
merely been as a catalyst. A stepping-stone from one phase of her
life to another. She would still need time to get over him, but
tonight had been a good first step.

Chapter 7

February 25

Karma’s Blog

“
I’m Insane”

What am I thinking? I must be insane. How do I let
my therapist talk me into these things?

I just signed up to run this year’s
Mini-Marathon the first weekend of May, which means I have only two
months to prepare.

Sure, I ran cross-country in high school and
did a little running in college, but that’s been almost three years
ago. I guess I’ll find out soon enough if this decision is a
colossal fail or the best idea I’ve ever had.

To help prepare, I finally used my bonus
money and bought a state-of-the-art treadmill and spin bike this
week, and they’ll be delivered this afternoon. My friends are
coming over this morning to help me clean out my second bedroom so
I can turn it into my training room. The treadmill and bike will go
in there, along with a few pairs of dumbbells I purchased for
cross-training.

M would be proud. I’m actually going to
weight train.

Dad would be proud, too. I’ve actually put
on a couple of pounds now that I’m eating again.

I’ll be eating a lot more, too. I need to
feed my body as I embark on this intense training schedule.
Luckily, my new friend B is going to help. He’s running the Mini,
too. We talked about it during this week’s cooking class. So, now
that the weather is starting to break for spring, we’ll meet a
couple times a week at the gym to help each other cross-train,
although I think he’ll be helping me more than I’m helping him.
Once I’m able to run distance, we’ll start hitting the trails. The
race will be here before I know it.

B’s a nice guy. Not M, but really, there
will never be another M. But B is a good guy. I like him. I have no
idea where things will go, but I guess it’s time I moved on, and B
seems like a good man to do that with.

A knock at her door drew Karma’s attention away from
typing. She quickly hit
Publish
then darted into the living
room.

“Hey, guys!” Her best friends, Daniel and
Lisa, stepped inside.

Daniel hugged her. “You look good,
honey.”

“Thanks. So do you. How’s that hubby of
yours?”

“Zach’s sexy as ever.”

“You two make me jealous, you know.” Karma
gave him another squeeze before letting go.

“Why’s that?” He peeled out of his coat.

“Because your relationship is perfect.” She
would give anything to have the kind of relationship Daniel and
Zach had. So full of passion and love.

Daniel winked and meandered into the kitchen,
leaving her with Lisa.

“You do look a
lot
better, sweetie.”
Lisa draped her coat over the arm of the couch beside Daniel’s.
“The question is, do you feel as good as you look?”

Karma nodded, albeit slowly. “I think so.”
She’d been spending more time with Brad, and while he didn’t blow
her mind the way Mark had, she liked him. “I think I’m finally
making a turnaround.”

Daniel reappeared with a glass of iced tea.
“When are they delivering your torture device? I can’t believe
you’re taking up running again.” He led everyone back to the spare
bedroom.

“Hey, don’t dis my passions, Daniel.” She
lightly shoved his arm. “And the delivery guy said after one
o’clock. They’re supposed to call thirty minutes before they
arrive.” Karma pulled her auburn hair into a ponytail. She really
needed a haircut.

“What’s this?” Lisa said, pointing to her
computer. “
Chocolate Chunk Brownies
? Karma, is this—?”

“It’s nothing.” She quickly closed her
laptop.

The looks on Daniel’s and Lisa’s faces
indicated they weren’t buying it.

“Fine.” She slumped into the chair and
reopened her laptop. “I started a blog about him, but it was my
therapist’s idea.”

“Why?” Lisa parked her butt on the corner of
the desk, concern etched in her face.

“She thought it would help me process my
emotions or something.” She glanced at the screen. “I promise I’m
not dwelling on him or anything like that.”

Daniel and Lisa exchanged glances. They knew
how hard Mark’s departure had been on her. They’d worried about her
for months. Now that she seemed to be turning her life around and
moving on it was understandable her writing a blog about him would
unnerve them.

“Well…” Daniel glanced into his glass then
met Karma’s gaze, his eyes filled with concern.

“What?” Karma didn’t like his expression. He
looked like he had bad news. Scary bad. “What is it, Daniel?”

He set down his glass, dug into his back
pocket, and pulled out a folded sheet of glossy paper. “I get
Chicago
magazine. I finally got around to reading last
month’s issue and saw this.” He unfolded the paper and handed it to
Karma.

She scanned the title on the page then
inspected the picture. It was an article about New Year’s Eve. The
picture was of two Chicago football players at some party.

“So?” She shrugged and turned confused eyes
on Daniel then Lisa. “Am I missing something here?”

Lisa sighed, and the sound held as much
foreboding as Daniel’s expression. “Look in the background.”

Karma glanced at the picture again and her
heart stopped. “Oh.” A lump formed in her throat when she saw Mark
standing arm in arm with a tall, beautiful, busty woman who was
clearly smitten with him. “How nice for him.” She handed the
ripped-out page back to Daniel.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“But we thought you needed to know.” Lisa
touched her arm.

“It doesn’t matter.” Karma shook her head and
aimed her gaze into the hallway as if searching for something that
wasn’t there.

So, Mark had replaced her already. And with a
woman who couldn’t have been more opposite from her. She wasn’t
sure what hurt worse, that he was gone, or that the next woman he’d
moved on to had boobs the size of cantaloupes when hers were merely
kiwis. She cleared her throat and glanced back at her blog. “Well,
at least I have something new to write about in my next post,
right?”

Daniel and Lisa nodded warily.

“That’s one way to look at it,” Daniel said.
“You sure you’re okay?”

Karma pushed a smile onto her face. “I’m
great. Really. I’m seeing someone, too. Did you know that?” She and
Brad hadn’t actually been out on any dates, but she knew he wanted
to ask her. And when he did, she would say yes. Absolutely. No
question about it this time around. And it was time she let her
friends know she had another suitor.

“I didn’t know you were dating again.” Lisa
appeared relieved but surprised. “When did this happen?”

Karma gave a flippant shrug and sat back. “I
met him on Valentine’s Day. He’s going to help me train for the
Mini-Marathon, too.”

“Oh my God, really?” Daniel’s eyes flew open.
“You’re running a marathon? I thought you were just using the new
treadmill for exercise. How about that? You’re running
competitively again. I take back my jab about the torture device.”
He lightly tapped her knee.

“Yep, so see, I’ve never been better. I’ve
got a new guy, a new hobby, and I’m cooking again. Life’s
great.”

“So I guess the blog’s been helping then,
huh?” Lisa gestured toward her laptop.

“Yep, it’s been a great help.” The image of
Mark with that woman scored her mind like a knife as she turned
back to her computer screen. There was definitely a venting blog
post in her near future.

“How so?” Daniel sounded cautious, as if he
wasn’t quite buying her show of cheerful confidence. Then again,
Daniel knew her better than anyone and could probably tell she was
putting on a happy face when inside she was hurting.

“I don’t know…” She waved at her computer
screen. “It’s just helping me work through everything. Writing
about him and where I am now is giving me perspective.”

“And you called it ‘Chocolate Chunk
Brownies?’” Lisa gave her a tight smile as she glanced at her
laptop.

“I thought that was as good a name as
any.”

“With significant meaning, too.” Lisa arched
one brow.

“Yes. But it’s also ambiguous. The blog is
anonymous, so you guys can’t tell anyone about it, okay. I want to
keep it a secret.”

Lisa and Daniel both crossed their index
fingers over their chests, silently swearing their allegiance.

Daniel pulled a giant beanbag chair out of
the corner and plopped down. “Can we read it?”

Karma almost laughed at the beggar-boy
expression on Daniel’s face. “Can I stop you? I mean, now that you
know the name of the blog, you can read it pretty much any time you
want.”

Daniel grinned as if he’d just been granted
three wishes.

Karma pointed a finger at him. “But you can’t
tell anyone, and I don’t want any commentary from the peanut
gallery.” She hardened her stare on Daniel then turned toward Lisa.
“And you two are the peanut gallery.”

Lisa held up her hands, giggling. “Hey, I’m
down with keeping my mouth shut if motormouth over here is.” She
nodded toward Daniel.

Daniel held out his hands, palms up. “Why are
you looking at me? I can keep a secret.”

“Okay, fine.” Karma relaxed into her chair.
“But seriously, guys, this blog is deeply personal. I reveal
everything. Talk about baring your heart and soul.” She cast a
sideways glance at the screen. “Some of the things I write about
are incredibly painful. Others are more heartfelt. Either way, I’ve
cried a lot of tears into what I’ve written here.”

And she would cry a few more when she was
alone and had a chance to fully process that Mark had moved on
without her. All the more reason for her to do the same with
Brad.

“But as long as it’s helping, it’s all good,
right?” Daniel glanced from Karma to Lisa and back again.

Karma considered the question. Admittedly,
she felt stronger now than she had two months ago. At least until
she’d seen that picture. But overall, she was in a much better
place physically, mentally, and emotionally. How much of that was
from the passage of time, and how much was from her sessions with
Jan and the “homework” she gave her.

Funny how she was once more doing homework to
make a change in her life. First Mark, now Jan. At some point, she
needed to learn how to apply her lessons without someone watching
over and guiding her.

“I think so.” She nodded. “I’m feeling better
now.” She hadn’t cried in over two weeks. “And…” She glanced toward
the window. Pellets of sleet tapped the glass, and rivulets of rain
ran down the pane.

“And what?” Lisa said.

“And…I kind of like this Brad guy.”

“That’s great.” Lisa’s smile lit up the
room.

“So where did you two meet, anyway?” Daniel
leaned forward and chucked her knee.

“I actually met him last summer at the
bookstore, but I met him again at this place I’ve started going to
called Single Servings.”

“I’ve heard of that,” Lisa said. “Cooking
club for single people, right?”

“Yes.”

Daniel gave her a sly look. “And I bet you
two can
cook
, sister.” He snapped his fingers.

Warmth shot into her face. “It’s not like
that.”

“Not yet.” Daniel cocked his head to one
side. “But give it time and a little tumble in the sheets, and
you’ll be saying, ‘Mark who?’”

Karma didn’t think she would ever say “Mark
who?” The man was permanently imprinted on her soul. He was her
first love. He’d been the first man to give her an orgasm. He’d
altered not only her perception of herself but also her reality.
Without Mark, she wouldn’t be the same woman she was today.