Commitment (99 page)

For a fledgling rap group, this wa
s one hell of an introduction.
But it wasn’t surprising given
the numbers they were posting.
Their debut CD was number one on the charts and their initially low-budget music videos were being re-made to reflect their new status.
Last summer, Shawn would
have panicked at their success.
Hell, he remembered what he’d felt
anticipating
just this moment in time, when they would be the young guns t
hat everyone wanted a piece of.
Now
he had no reaction whatsoever.

Well,
no
reaction
wasn’t completely accurate
.
Actually, his fe
eling was, “more power to ‘em.”
They were in for a hell of a ride if they managed to
hold on.
As for him, his
place in hip-hop felt more assured
or maybe
he
just felt more self-assured.
There was more he wanted to hold onto besides his career and he had that with him right here
.
And ultimately
,
Brendan had been right about
him having a niche t
hat remained unaffected by Glock’s success
.
They were running on
a
parallel track,
but
not gaining on him.
He could remain attentive to his success and alert to theirs, but
not skittish or spooked by it.

Cameron Cole on the other hand, probably didn’t feel the same way
if the look
on his face was any indication.
Sitting a couple seats down from Mike and Darryl, the camera caught a look of exasperation ju
st as they made their entrance.
Word on the street was that he’d
moved
his own CD release
date
for fear
of
having them
b
reak
his streak of debuting at number one five times in a row.

“This might’ve been fun,” Riley
said almost under her breath.
“Tracy is so annoyed we decided not to go.”

“Take her next year.”

“Or to the Grammys this year.”

“You would go to the Grammys,
” Shawn tugged on her big toe.

“Well, you missed this for me, so it’s only fair,” she said.

“I didn’t care that we missed it,” he admitted.

“Well yeah, but it’s your work, so we’ll go to the Grammys.”

“Deal.”

The show ran well into the evening, about two hours longer than Shawn
’s
interest
, but he did win
an
award
in absentia
.
Neither he nor Riley commented on the fact that Keisha was in
the winning video
.

They were in bed with the lights off, their limbs intertwined
, drifting very close to sleep when Riley spoke.

“I got tickets to the
TriBeCa
Film Festival,” she said. “And even to the opening party at MoMA.”

“Yeah
?”

“You know they only sent them to me because of you.”

“I doubt it.”

“Oh Shawn, p
lease.
Why would I ever get sent ticket
s
to
TriBeCa
?”

“Because you’re a great writer.
And you won an
award for that slumlord piece.
I never got tickets to the
TriBeCa
Film Festival
in my life,” Shawn assured her.
“And in case you’re wondering, I didn’t ask for them just to fake you out.”

Riley was quiet for a moment.
“You really think they sen
t them to me because of my work?
”

“Yeah, I do. You’re good.
And now that you’re back
in the swing of things at work
. . .”

“I’ve been thinking about that,” she said quietly.

“About what?”

“Leaving
Power to the People
.”

Shawn waited.
It was no secret he wo
uld love it if she didn’t work.
But as far as he knew, she didn’t want that, and would never be happy being a professional wife.

“I was thinking of using,
you know, some of the money you gave me
when we got married.
A
nd starting a literary journal.
For African-American literary
writers
and social thinkers.”

“Really?” Shawn sat up and turned on the
bedside
light
.

“Yeah.
I mean, if I invested some, and got other investors at about one hundred grand apiece . . .”

“I think that’s a cool idea,” he interrupted.

“You do?” she
asked
, sitting up herself.

“Yeah.
You should do it.”

“Shawn, if you’re thinking it would mean I hav
e more time, I should warn you. It might mean less time.
I’d have to do lots of meetings and research, and making sure I know what I’m doing, and . . .”

He kissed her to shut her up.

“If it’s
what you want
, you should do it
,” he said when he pulled away.
“Don’t talk yourself out of it, just do it.”

“It would be complicated.
I don’t know a whole lot about getting something like this off the ground.”

“So find out.
Find people who do know about it.”

“That’s my tho
ught,” Riley said almost shyly. “But the initial outlay.
It’
s
a big chunk of change.”

“And you have it.
So . . .” Shawn shrugged.

“
If it doesn’t work, it could be an expensive mistake
.”

“But it would be a bigger mistake not to try, right?”

“Right,”
she nodded.

“Okay?” he grinned.

“Yeah,” she said, firmly now.
“I’ll do it.”

Shawn leaned back again, arms folded, a grin spreading across his face.

“What?” Riley asked.
“Tell me.”

“It’s just
,
” he shook his head.
“This is the first time I
’ve felt
like I
gave you
something you really, really want.”

She placed a hand on the side of his face and leaned in to kiss him
fleetingly
at the corner of his mouth.

“No it’s not,
” she said quietly.
“
Every day
. I get what I want from you
every single day.”

g

The sound of the tires against the wet pavement as they sped down I-95 was soothing, and Riley
had to fight off
the urge
to sleep.
Not that Shawn would have no
ticed.
Since they’d left New York, heading for his cousin’s house in Baltimore, he’d had very little to say
and hadn’t even turned on music, as was his habit
.
The suggestion that they go to visit his grandmother had come out of the blue, and Riley had pounced on it before he had a c
hance to retract.
His life in DC and Baltimore, and his family there, were the only
big
question ma
rks left in their relationship.
Of course, none of
his family
had attended the wedding.
And i
t had occasionally
rankled
her that his periodic trips to see his grandmother were taken without her, and that he never seemed to even consider asking her along.

This time
the invitation had been offered
almost as though it
was
an afterthought, but she could tell it was the product of careful
deliberation
.
It had
clearly
taken more for him to
do this
than it had for him to give her power of attorney and control over all his assets when they both feared he might go to prison. 

God, how it bugged her when she listened to him talking to Chris or Jodi about Baltimore
!
They had
all these inside jokes and
made
veiled references to people and incidents she had no knowledge
about.
She didn’t want there to be any part of
him that she was not privy to
.
Especially not if they were parts to which o
thers had been allowed access.
Jodi
was becoming
somewhat of a friend, but there was always the unspoken undercurrent
between them
of her
persistent feelings for Shawn.

Once in awhile, Riley
caught
her look
ing
at him w
hen she thought no one noticed.
And the
expression
in her eyes was
so warm and intimate
Riley
was almost embarr
assed to have caught her at it.
She was still in
love with Shawn, it was clear.
And so she could be forgiven for occasionally exploiting the information she’d gained from her prior claim to him, and
for
making Riley feel l
ike an outsider in the process.
Shawn, of course, was sweetly ignorant of this dynamic, as most men would be. 

So she couldn’t sleep.
She had to experience every moment of this trip.
She would build her own history with Shawn,
and
make it clear
to all who had come before her—
and who would attempt to come afte
r her
—
that he was hers alone.

“D’you want to stop?” The unexpected sound of his voice, loud in the vacuum
of the car caused her to jump.
“To go to the bathroom or get something to eat?”

Riley glanced at the t
ime
.
It was only
just seven-thirty.
They’d been on the road for an hour and were only ju
st hitting the Jersey Turnpike.
She could hold out until Delaware at least.

“No, let’s keep going. How ‘bout you?
You want to stop?”

“Nope.”

“What time do you think we’ll get there?”

“Probably around ten or so.”

Riley looked down at her ca
mouflage pant and Henley shirt.
“I think I’ll want to change before we get there.”

Shawn glanced at her.
“What for?”

“I look like crap.
I practically rolled out of bed.”

“You look fine,” he reached over and tugged at a strand of her hair.

“All the same, I think I might want a shirt that doesn’t have a coffee stain on the front of it.”

“No one’s going to notice or care but if you want to change, we’ll stop.”

Pulling into Baltimore was every bit as
nerve-wracking as standing in front of the judge at City Hall and saying the words t
hat made them husband and wife.
Riley’s heart pounded in her chest as Shawn eased the car through the burnt out neighborhoods on the edge of the city an
d into historic Fell’s Point.
The outskirts seemed trendy rather than family-oriented and Riley was at first surprised that Shawn would have chosen such a place for his grandmother
.

B
ut
as they got further in, it was evident that it was an old-style neighborhood, where their sports car drew curious gazes from people standing in front of their house
s, or at the corner taquerias.
They pulled up in front of a
modest F
ederal-style, red brick row house, where surprisingly, ther
e was ample parking to be had.
There were periwinkle blue shutters, and flowerboxes in the windows through which Riley could se
e gauzy floral curtain panels.
Shawn took a deep breath
as
he parked and turned to her.