Complete New Tales of Para Handy (50 page)

“When he wass deckhand, mony times when he would be throwin' a line ashore for the longshoremen or the pier-hands to catch hold of, he'd throw it short and then discover it wassna even the right line: it would be chust a spare length of rope he'd flemished-doon
beside
the right line — for tidiness by his way of it — that wassna attached to onything on the shup, and they lost coont o' the fathoms and fathoms o' good rope he cost them, lyin' at the bottom of the river.

“More than wance, when he wass ashore himself to put a bight of a mooring-line over a bollard, he would pit it on wan that wass already cairrying the hawser of a steamer and you know yourself what the steamer crews can be like. They chust threw the top rope over the side of the pier, and Uncle Wulliam's vessel went driftin' off — if they were lucky.

“If they were
unlucky
, the bight of their line got aal fankled wi' the hawser of the steamer, so that wherever she went, they went too. The steamer crews never bothered to unfankle it, for them it wass chust a fine amusement, takin' poor Uncle Wullie's shup in tow ass if it they wass takin' a dug for a waalk on a leash. Wan time the
Inveraray Castle
towed them aal the way from Port Bannatyne to Colintraive before the Officers on the brudge of the paddle-steamer realised that they wassna alone in the Kyles!

“Ass Uncle Wulliam moved up the ladder o' command wi' Hays, and only the good Lord knows how he ever did, his capacity to make a mess of things increased dramatically. The mair he wass given to do, then the mair there wass that could go wrong, and maist usually it did.”

“I canna understand how John Hay put up wi' it at all,” put in the Engineer, who had rejoined his shipmates. “He wisna a man famous for his tolerance, wis he?”

“Right enough,” said Dougie. “The faimily aalways used to say that Uncle Wulliam must have had some kind of a haud over John Hay, that he'd caught him wi' a drink in him on a Fast Day, or tellin' fibs to the Board o' Tred.

“But it wassna that at aal, of course: it wass chust that John Hay liked to have a man aboot the place that wass like a clown at a circus, good for a laugh so long as the herm he did wassna too serious, and it made John Hay feel important, like wan o' they auld medevial kings wi' his own Court Jester.

“But, ass I say, when Uncle Wulliam wass made Mate, there wass more scope for disaster.

“He showed that in fine style. His very first assignment ass a Mate went wrang — I canna chust mind the way of it — and for the next few years he wass shufted from wan shup o' the Hays' fleet to anither, none o' the skippers wanted him for long because something wass aye goin' to pieces when he wass aroond. Finally he was berthed on a puffer that was sent to the wee pier at Sannox, at the north end of Arran, for a cargo o' barytes ore from the mine up the glen.

“It iss a horrid cairgo to load and unload: mercifully we've neffer had a contract for't on the
Vital Spark
. What you may not know, then, iss that it iss a most terrible
heavy
cairgo. A bucketful o' barytes weighs an awful lot mair then a bucketful of onything else you care to name. So ony shup hass to be very careful how mich of it she takes on board, and her captain hass to work oot the load very carefully.

“Onyway, in came Uncle Wulliam's boat on the high tide, and they put her alangside the jetty and ass the tide went oot she beached herself, for there wassna mich watter at the inner end o' the pier.

“The boat wass chust a three-hander and wance she wass berthed, and still no sign of the quarry men comin' wi' the cairts of barytes, the skipper told Uncle Wulliam that he would leave him in cherge while he went to the Inn at Sannox vullage for a wee refreshment, and off he went and took the enchineer with him.

“ ‘If onybody frae the mine arrives,' said the skipper, ‘tell him I'm at the Inns and whenever he wants to get the loading sterted, he can send for me, it's jist hauf-a-mile away. In the meantime, jist you keep an eye on the boat — and dinna you daur touch a thing,' he added emphatically, for Uncle Wulliam's reputation for makin' trouble had come before him.

“Chust ten minutes efter they'd left, the furst o' the Sannox Mine cairts appeared wi' two big Clydesdales in the shafts, and a squad o' men to help load the shup.

“There wass a kind of a chute wi' a funnel on tap of it fixed to a trolley on the quay, and the whole shebang could be swung roond and pointed doon into the hold of any vessel lying alangside. Then the ore wass chust shovelled from the cairts into the funnel and went whooshing doon the chute like snaw off a dyke and into the hold.

“Aal the crew of any shup had to do was point the mooth o' the chute in the right direction and get the trolley it wass moored to moved effery now and then so that the ore wass evenly spread in the hold.

“So when the first o' the cairts arrived, the foreman leaned over and shouted ‘Puffer ahoy! Hoo mich o this dam' stuff can ye take?'

“Uncle Wulliam wass chust aboot to give the man the captain's message, when he thought to himself that it would be a grand surprise for his skipper to come back and find the chob aal done for him: mebbe it would be good for Uncle Wulliam's career too if he showed the unitiative.

“So, instead o' doin' what he wass told like a sensible chap would have done, he shouted back ‘Chust you go ahead and fill her up wheneffer you're ready!'

“ ‘Fill her
up
?' said the foreman, quite flummoxed. ‘Are ye sure ye ken whit ye're daeing?'

“Uncle Wulliam drew himself up to his full height and adjusted his peaked kep (he'd bought a white-topped wan ass soon ass the news of his promotion cam' through) and replied sherply: ‘You concentrate on looking efter your horses, and allow me to know what iss best for the shup!'

“The foreman shrugged: it wassna his affair. For the next two hoors the Clyesdales and their cairts kept the barytes comin' doon to the shup, and by that time the hold wass full quite to the brim.

“The foreman got Uncle Wulliam to sign a sort of a paper givin' the tonnage she'd taken aboard, and off he and his men went.

“Chust as the loading sterted, the tide had turned and aal this time since then the flood had been coming in. The first inkling Uncle Wulliam had that something wassna right wass when he realised that the water wass creeping up the side o' the shup and the shup wassna moving at aal, she was stuck fast on the bottom as she had been at the foot o' the ebb. She wass that overweighted doon there wass no way at aal that she wass going to float!

“By the time the skipper and enchineer came back from the Inns the only parts of the shup that wass above watter was the mast, the wheelhoose, the ventilators and the funnel.

“It took them three days wi' buckets and shovels at low tide to empty enough barytes oot o' the hold for the shup to be able to refloat herself.”

“And Hay's didna seck the man, not even efter that?” asked Para Handy in astonishment.

“Not them,” said the Mate. “I can only think they believed that secking him would bring ill-luck on the firm — or that greater responsubility would mebbe improve the man, for it wassna aal that long efter the Sannox uncident that they gave him a shup of his ain.

“He wass to tak' her into Auchentarra on Loch Linnhe for a cairgo of granite from the wee quarry there.

“They cam' in at the peak o' high tide: the jetty was near awash wi' it and they had to lie off for an hour for the ebb to tak' some watter away and give them a chance to berth and make fast.

“Next morning they began to load up, but the quarry wass a good mile from the pier, and they had chust the wan cairt, wi' chust wan horse, and it took a couple of days to get the chob done.

“They took the granite doon to Oban, unloaded it at a private wharf at the sooth end of the bay, then back again for anither load from Auchentarra aboot three days efterwards.

“Wance the shup wass full to the line again, Uncle Wulliam made his farewells wi' the quarrymen, and cast off.

“This time they only got two hundred yerds oot towards the mooth of the bay when she grounded! What Uncle Wulliam had not realised wass that when they'd put in the previous week they'd come in on the spring tides, and the soundings he'd taken then on the way in, and back oot again, wassna the normal ones.

“There wass a sand-bar across the mooth of the bay which neffer had more than 10ft of soundings at normal high watter. But at the springs, there wass well over 16ft of watter on it at high tide.

“When Uncle Wulliam lifted his first cairgo, he'd come in and gone oot on the springs, drawing 11ft aft when she wass loaded, but wi' plenty mair than that under the keel he'd done so withoot ony bother.

“This time, though, he wass well and truly stuck. It would be two weeks before the tides wass near enough the springs to give the shup enough watter to refloat herself. Meantime they had the choice of either throwing the cairgo overboard to free the shup, or sitting it oot.

“Uncle Wulliam telegraphed to the Hays' office in Kirkintilloch for instructions. Raither to his surprise, their reply was to tell him no' to dump the cairgo, chust to bide where he was and wait for the springs.

“He wass surprised: I neffer wass,” the Mate concluded. “I think that Mr Hay realised it would be less dangerous for the company and its shups, no' to mention the world at large, chust to leave Uncle Wulliam stuck on a sandbar somewhere in Lorne for a fortnight, raither than have him goin' aboot loose.”

“Well, Peter,” observed the Engineer: “now ye'll mebbe stop fretting aboot the Admirulity. At least they havna got Dougie's Uncle Wulliam on their books. Jist as weel, or we'd be doon to wir last torpedo-boat-destroyer if his record in the merchant fleet wis onything to go by!

“Mebbe that wis why Hay never sacked him: perhaps the guvernment paid a subsidy to keep him oot of the Navy!”

F
ACTNOTE

There were three steamers named
Inveraray Castle
on the Clyde during the 19th century, and it is even thought that one of them was built as early as 1814, just two years after Bell's pioneering
Comet
.

The third ship of the name is the best-known. She was built in 1839 and was in service for almost 60 years, during which period she was twice taken into dry-dock and lengthened — a not unusual practice at that time.

She is believed to have spent her entire career on the Glasgow to Inveraray run — out one day and back the next — and provided the sort of passenger (and light cargo) service to the smaller piers and remoter communities which was beneath the dignity (or beyond the capabilities, due to their sheer size) of the giants of the steamer fleets.

Most of the Clyde puffer fleet belonged to John Hay and Company of Kirkintilloch. That business was in operation for almost 100 years and over that period the firm owned more than 90 of the little boats. They built most of what they owned, too, at their Kirkintilloch yard. Ross and Marshall of Greenock were another significant owner, starting as shipowners later than Hay but remaining in the business longer. They too nearly celebrated their centenary.

U
NLUCKY FOR
S
OME
— Here is Naval Patrol Boat 13 well and truly aground somewhere around Kintyre in the first decade of this century. Built in 1907, powered by Parson turbines, these little craft — 185ft in length but with a beam of only 18ft — were capable of 26 knots. Number 13's luck did not improve: she was lost in 1914 although not through enemy action, but collision with another naval vessel in the North Sea.

There was indeed a barytes mine in Glen Sannox and the ore was notoriously heavy for its bulk. Extraction of the mineral began in 1840 but at some point later in the Victorian era the whole operation was closed down by the then landowner (the Duke of Hamilton) on what seems to have been purely aesthetic or ecological grounds. A surprisingly late 20th century knee-jerk reaction to find a century earlier!

After the First World War the mine was opened once again. It had its own private jetty just outside Sannox village and, by then, a light railway to haul the ponderous raw material down to the waiting puffers. The mine closed for good shortly before the outbreak of the Second World War but it was during this period of its history that the ore really
did
‘sink' an unfortunate puffer and its unsuspecting or inexperienced skipper. Indeed, I am indebted to a reader of my first collection of Para Handy tales for relating to me his own recollections of just such an unexpected incident at the little Sannox pier!

Strangely, I cannot find the bay of Auchentarra, with its dangerous sandbar lurking to trap the unwary, in any maps that I have of the Loch Linnhe area.

43

A Boatman's Holiday

I
was standing on the pier at Rothesay passing the time of day with Para Handy, whose beloved vessel lay in the outer harbour waiting the arrival of the local contractor's carts so that a cargo of road-chips could be unloaded.