Again the telephone bell rang. Cedric answered it himself, not wishing to take the exchange girl away from her knitting. It was the Captain.
“We must have more speed,” he shouted: “We must have more speed. Throw on more coal — more coal!”
For a moment Cedric was wrapped in thought, his face twitching with horror. Then he realized his duty, and rushed forward
*****
**
Late that evening, when they were safe in port, the Captain smoking his after-dinner cigar, came down to the stoke-hole. He called for Cedric. There was not a sound. Again he called. Still there was silence. Suddenly the horror of the truth rushed upon him. He tore open the furnace door, and convulsed with sobs, drew forth a Brooks-Livingstone Collar, a half-melted piece of Spearmint gum, and a suit of Yerger asbestos underwear. For a moment he held them in his arms, and then fell howling upon the floor. The truth had turned out to be the truth.
Cedric had turned himself into calories.
F.S.F.
J.B.
The Short Stories
Fitzgerald, 1920
CHRONOLOGICAL LIST OF SHORT STORIES
FLAPPERS AND PHILOSOPHERS
THE OFFSHORE PIRATE
THE ICE PALACE
HEAD AND SHOULDERS
THE CUT-GLASS BOWL
BERNICE BOBS HER HAIR
BENEDICTION
DALYRIMPLE GOES WRONG
THE FOUR FISTS
TALES FROM THE JAZZ AGE
MY LAST FLAPPERS
THE JELLY-BEAN.
THE CAMEL’S BACK
MAY DAY
PORCELAIN AND PINK
FANTASIES
THE DIAMOND AS BIG AS THE RITZ
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
TARQUIN OF CHEAPSIDE
“O RUSSET WITCH!”
UNCLASSIFIED MASTERPIECES
THE LEES OF HAPPINESS
MR. ICKY
JEMINA, THE MOUNTAIN GIRL
ALL THE SAD YOUNG MEN
THE RICH BOY
WINTER DREAMS
THE BABY PARTY
ABSOLUTION
RAGS MARTIN-JONES AND THE PR-NCE OF W-LES
THE ADJUSTER
HOT AND COLD BLOOD
“THE SENSIBLE THING”
GRETCHEN’S FORTY WINKS
TAPS AT REVEILLE
THE SCANDAL DETECTIVES
BASIL: THE FRESHEST BOY
HE THINKS HE’S WONDERFUL
THE CAPTURED SHADOW
THE PERFECT LIFE
FIRST BLOOD
A NICE QUIET PLACE
JOSEPHINE: A WOMAN WITH A PAST
CRAZY SUNDAY
TWO WRONGS
THE NIGHT AT CHANCELLORSVILLE
THE LAST OF THE BELLES
MAJESTY
FAMILY IN THE WIND
A SHORT TRIP HOME
ONE INTERNE
THE FIEND
BABYLON REVISITED
THE PAT HOBBY STORIES
PAT HOBBY’S CHRISTMAS WISH
A MAN IN THE WAY
“BOIL SOME WATER--LOTS OF IT”
TEAMED WITH GENIUS
PAT HOBBY AND ORSON WELLES
PAT HOBBY’S SECRET
PAT HOBBY, PUTATIVE FATHER
THE HOMES OF THE STARS
PAT HOBBY DOES HIS BIT
PAT HOBBY’S PREVIEW
NO HARM TRYING
A PATRIOTIC SHORT
ON THE TRAIL OF PAT HOBBY
FUN IN AN ARTIST’S STUDIO
TWO OLD-TIMERS
MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD
PAT HOBBY’S COLLEGE DAYS
MISCELLANEOUS STORIES
A FREEZE-OUT
A NEW LEAF
A NIGHT AT THE FAIR
AFTERNOON OF AN AUTHOR
AN ALCOHOLIC CASE
AT YOUR AGE
BASIL AND CLEOPATRA
THE BRIDAL PARTY
THE BOWL
DESIGN IN PLASTER
DICE, BRASSKNUCKLES & GUITAR
EMOTIONAL BANKRUPTCY
FINANCING FINNEGAN
FORGING AHEAD
THE HOTEL CHILD
“I DIDN’T GET OVER”
JACOB’S LADDER
THE LOST DECADE
LOVE IN THE NIGHT
MAGNETISM
MORE THAN JUST A HOUSE
NEWS OF PARIS--FIFTEEN YEARS AGO
ONE TRIP ABROAD
OUTSIDE THE CABINET-MAKER’S
THE ROUGH CROSSING
SIX OF ONE--
THE SWIMMERS
THREE HOURS BETWEEN PLANES
WHAT A HANDSOME PAIR!
THE ORDEAL
MYRA MEETS HIS FAMILY
THE I.O.U.
THE POPULAR GIRL
TWO FOR A CENT
THE PUSHER-IN-THE-FACE
ONE OF MY OLDEST FRIENDS
THE UNSPEAKABLE EGG
PRESUMPTION
YOUR WAY AND MINE
LIPSTICK: A COLLEGE COMEDY
THE LOVE BOAT
ON YOUR OWN
BETWEEN THREE AND FOUR
FLIGHT AND PURSUIT
A WOMAN WITH A PAST
TOO CUTE FOR WORDS,
STRANGE SANCTUARY
INSIDE THE HOUSE
LO, THE POOR PEACOCK!
ON SCHEDULE,
THE PASSIONATE ESKIMO
IMAGE ON THE HEART
A FULL LIFE
SHAGGY’S MORNING
THREE ACTS OF MUSIC
THE ANTS AT PRINCETON
IN THE HOLIDAYS
THE GUEST IN ROOM NINETEEN
THE LONG WAY OUT
THE WOMAN FROM “21”
ON AN OCEAN WAVE
DEARLY BELOVED
PAT AT THE FAIR REUNION AT THE FAIR
THE MYSTERY OF THE RAYMOND MORTGAGE
READE, SUBSTITUTE RIGHT HALF
A DEBT OF HONOR
THE ROOM WITH THE GREEN BLINDS
A LUCKLESS SANTA CLAUS
PAIN AND THE SCIENTIST
THE TRAIL OF THE DUKE
LITTLE MINNIE MCCLOSKEY
THE OLD FRONTIERSMAN
THE SPIRE AND THE GARGOYLE
THE DIARY OF A SOPHOMORE
THE PRINCE OF PESTS
SENTIMENT — AND THE USE OF ROUGE
THE PIERIAN SPRINGS AND THE LAST STRAW
CEDRIC THE STOKER
ALPHABETICAL LIST OF SHORT STORIES
“BOIL SOME WATER--LOTS OF IT”
“I DIDN’T GET OVER”
“O RUSSET WITCH!”
“THE SENSIBLE THING”
A DEBT OF HONOR
A FREEZE-OUT
A FULL LIFE
A LUCKLESS SANTA CLAUS
A MAN IN THE WAY
A NEW LEAF
A NICE QUIET PLACE
A NIGHT AT THE FAIR
A PATRIOTIC SHORT
A SHORT TRIP HOME
A WOMAN WITH A PAST
ABSOLUTION
AFTERNOON OF AN AUTHOR
AN ALCOHOLIC CASE
AT YOUR AGE
BABYLON REVISITED
BASIL AND CLEOPATRA
BASIL: THE FRESHEST BOY
BENEDICTION
BERNICE BOBS HER HAIR
BETWEEN THREE AND FOUR
CEDRIC THE STOKER
CRAZY SUNDAY
DALYRIMPLE GOES WRONG
DEARLY BELOVED
DESIGN IN PLASTER
DICE, BRASSKNUCKLES & GUITAR
EMOTIONAL BANKRUPTCY
FAMILY IN THE WIND
FANTASIES
FINANCING FINNEGAN
FIRST BLOOD
FLIGHT AND PURSUIT
FORGING AHEAD
FUN IN AN ARTIST’S STUDIO
GRETCHEN’S FORTY WINKS
HE THINKS HE’S WONDERFUL
HEAD AND SHOULDERS
HOT AND COLD BLOOD
IMAGE ON THE HEART
IN THE HOLIDAYS
INSIDE THE HOUSE
JACOB’S LADDER
JEMINA, THE MOUNTAIN GIRL
JOSEPHINE: A WOMAN WITH A PAST
LIPSTICK: A COLLEGE COMEDY
LITTLE MINNIE MCCLOSKEY
LO, THE POOR PEACOCK!
LOVE IN THE NIGHT
MAGNETISM
MAJESTY
MAY DAY
MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD
MORE THAN JUST A HOUSE