Complete Works of Joseph Conrad (Illustrated) (84 page)

BOOK: Complete Works of Joseph Conrad (Illustrated)

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The men scattered by the dissolving contact of the land came together once more in the shipping office. — -”The Narcissus pays off,” shouted outside a glazed door a brass-bound old fellow with a crown and the capitals B. T. on his cap. A lot trooped in at once but many were late. The room was large, white-washed, and bare; a counter surmounted by a brass-wire grating fenced off a third of the dusty space, and behind the grating a pasty-faced clerk, with his hair parted in the middle, had the quick, glittering eyes and the vivacious, jerky movements of a caged bird. Poor Captain Allistoun also in there, and sitting before a little table with piles of gold and notes on it, appeared subdued by his captivity. Another Board of Trade bird was perching on a high stool near the door: an old bird that did not mind the chaff of elated sailors. The crew of the Narcissus, broken up into knots, pushed in the corners. They had new shore togs, smart jackets that looked as if they had been shaped with an axe, glossy trousers that seemed made of crumpled sheet-iron, collarless flannel shirts, shiny new boots. They tapped on shoulders, button-holed one another, asked: — > “Where did you sleep last night?” whispered gaily, slapped their thighs with bursts of subdued laughter. Most had clean, radiant faces; only one or two turned up dishevelled and sad; the two-young Norwegians looked tidy, meek, and altogether of a promising material for the kind ladies who patronise the Scandinavian Home. Wamibo, still in his working clothes, dreamed, upright and burly in the middle of the room, and, when Archie came in, woke up for a smile. But the wide-awake clerk called out a name, and the paying-off business began.

One by one they came up to the pay-table to get the wages of their glorious and obscure toil. They swept the money with care into broad palms, rammed it trustfully into trousers’ pockets, or, turning their backs on the table, reckoned with difficulty in the hollow of their stiff hands. — ”Money right? Sign the release. There — there,” repeated the clerk, impatiently. “How stupid those sailors are!” he thought. Singleton came up, venerable — and uncertain as to daylight; brown drops of tobacco juice hung in his white beard; his hands, that never hesitated in the great light of the open sea, could hardly find the small pile of gold in the profound darkness of the shore. “Can’t write?” said the clerk, shocked. “Make a mark, then.” Singleton painfully sketched in a heavy cross, blotted the page. “What a disgusting old brute,” muttered the clerk. Somebody opened the door for him, and the patriarchal seaman passed through unsteadily, without as much as a glance at any of us.

Archie displayed a pocket-book. He was chaffed. Belfast, who looked wild, as though he had already luffed up through a public-house or two, gave signs of emotion and wanted to speak to the Captain privately. The master was surprised. They spoke through the wires, and we could hear the Captain saying: — ”I’ve given it up to the Board of Trade.” “I should ‘ve liked to get something of his,” mumbled Belfast. “But you can’t, my man. It’s given up, locked and sealed, to the Marine Office,” expostulated the master; and Belfast stood back, with drooping mouth and troubled eyes. In a pause of the business we heard the master and the clerk talking. We caught: “James Wait — deceased — found no papers of any kind — no relations — no trace — the Office must hold his wages then.” Donkin entered. He seemed out of breath, was grave, full of business. He went straight to the desk, talked with animation to the clerk, who thought him an intelligent man. They discussed the account, dropping h’s against one another as if for a wager — very friendly. Captain Allistoun paid. “I give you a bad discharge,” he said, quietly. Donkin raised his voice: — ”I don’t want your bloomin’ discharge — keep it. I’m goin’ ter ‘ave a job ashore.” He turned to us. “No more bloomin’ sea fur me,” he said, aloud. All looked at him. He had better clothes, had an easy air, appeared more at home than any of us; he stared with assurance, enjoying the effect of his declaration. “Yuss. I ‘ave friends well off. That’s more’n you got. But I am a man. Yer shipmates for all that. Who’s comin fur a drink?”

No one moved. There was a silence; a silence of blank faces and stony looks. He waited a moment, smiled bitterly, and went to the door. There he faced round once more. “You won’t? You bloomin’ lot of yrpocrits. No? What ‘ave I done to yer? Did I bully yer? Did I ‘urt yer? Did I?... You won’t drink?... No!... Then may ye die of thirst, every mother’s son of yer! Not one of yer ‘as the sperrit of a bug. Ye’re the scum of the world. Work and starve!”

He went out, and slammed the door with such violence that the old Board of Trade bird nearly fell off his perch.

“He’s mad,” declared Archie. “No! No! He’s drunk,” insisted Belfast, lurching about, and in a maudlin tone. Captain Allistoun sat smiling thoughtfully at the cleared pay-table.

Outside, on Tower Hill, they blinked, hesitated clumsily, as if blinded by the strange quality of the hazy light, as if discomposed by the view of so many men; and they who could hear one another in the howl of gales seemed deafened and distracted by the dull roar of the busy earth. — ”To the Black Horse! To the Black Horse!” cried some. “Let us have a drink together before we part.” They crossed the road, clinging to one another. Only Charley and Belfast wandered off alone. As I came up I saw a red-faced, blowsy woman, in a grey shawl, and with dusty, fluffy hair, fall on Charley’s neck. It was his mother. She slobbered over him: — ”O, my boy! My boy!” — ”Leggo of me,” said Charley, “Leggo, mother!” I was passing him at the time, and over the untidy head of the blubbering woman he gave me a humorous smile and a glance ironic, courageous, and profound, that seemed to put all my knowledge of life to shame. I nodded and passed on, but heard him say again, good-naturedly: — ”If you leggo of me this minyt — ye shall ‘ave a bob for a drink out of my pay.” In the next few steps I came upon Belfast. He caught my arm with tremulous enthusiasm. — ”I couldn’t go wi’ ‘em,” he stammered, indicating by a nod our noisy crowd, that drifted slowly along the other sidewalk. “When I think of Jimmy... Poor Jim! When I think of him I have no heart for drink. You were his chum, too... but I pulled him out... didn’t I? Short wool he had.... Yes. And I stole the blooming pie.... He wouldn’t go.... He wouldn’t go for nobody.” He burst into tears. “I never touched him — never — never!” he sobbed. “He went for me like... like ... a lamb.”

I disengaged myself gently. Belfast’s crying fits generally ended in a fight with some one, and I wasn’t anxious to stand the brunt of his inconsolable sorrow. Moreover, two bulky policemen stood near by, looking at us with a disapproving and incorruptible gaze. — ”So long!” I said, and went on my way.

But at the corner I stopped to take my last look at the crew of the Narcissus. They were swaying irresolute and noisy on the broad flagstones before the Mint. They were bound for the Black Horse, where men, in fur caps with brutal faces and in shirt sleeves, dispense out of varnished barrels the illusions of strength, mirth, happiness; the illusion of splendour and poetry of life, to the paid-off crews of southern-going ships. From afar I saw them discoursing, with jovial eyes and clumsy gestures, while the sea of life thundered into their ears ceaseless and unheeded. And swaying about there on the white stones, surrounded by the hurry and clamour of men, they appeared to be creatures of another kind — lost, alone, forgetful, and doomed; they were like castaways, like reckless and joyous castaways, like mad castaways making merry in the storm and upon an insecure ledge of a treacherous rock. The roar of the town resembled the roar of topping breakers, merciless and strong, with a loud voice and cruel purpose; but overhead the clouds broke; a flood of sunshine streamed down the walls of grimy houses. The dark knot of seamen drifted in sunshine. To the left of them the trees in Tower Gardens sighed, the stones of the Tower gleaming, seemed to stir in the play of light, as if remembering suddenly all the great joys and sorrows of the past, the fighting prototypes of these men; press-gangs; mutinous cries; the wailing of women by the riverside, and the shouts of men welcoming victories. The sunshine of heaven fell like a gift of grace on the mud of the earth, on the remembering and mute stones, on greed, selfishness; on the anxious faces of forgetful men. And to the right of the dark group the stained front of the Mint, cleansed by the flood of light, stood out for a moment dazzling and white like a marble palace in a fairy tale. The crew of the Narcissus drifted out of sight.

I never saw them again. The sea took some, the steamers took others, the graveyards of the earth will account for the rest. Singleton has no doubt taken with him the long record of his faithful work into the peaceful depths of an hospitable sea. And Donkin, who never did a decent day’s work in his life, no doubt earns his living by discoursing with filthy eloquence upon the right of labour to live. So be it! Let the earth and the sea each have its own.

A gone shipmate, like any other man, is gone for ever; and I never met one of them again. But at times the spring-flood of memory sets with force up the dark River of the Nine Bends. Then on the waters of the forlorn stream drifts a ship — a shadowy ship manned by a crew of Shades. They pass and make a sign, in a shadowy hail. Haven’t we, together and upon the immortal sea, wrung out a meaning from our sinful lives? Good-bye, brothers! You were a good crowd. As good a crowd as ever fisted with wild cries the beating canvas of a heavy foresail; or tossing aloft, invisible in the night, gave back yell for yell to a westerly gale.

THE END

LORD JIM

Lord Jim
was originally published as a serial in Blackwood’s Magazine from October 1899 to November 1900. It tells the story of Jim’s abandonment of a ship in distress on which he is serving as a mate and his later attempts at coming to terms with his actions. The novel is now widely regarded as one of the best pieces of fiction of the 20th century.