Authors: Maureen McGowan
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Fantasy & Magic, #Paranormal, #Dystopian
“Why not just approach me? Why the ruse? Why COT training?” I’m asking too many questions. Her lips have pursed.
“It was a test of loyalty, of your abilities, your control.” Her voice is clipped and she looks directly into my eyes. “I do what’s best for you, whether or not you fully understand.”
I try to smile but it wavers, my cheeks vibrating from the effort. I feel her inside my mind, trying to make me trust her; and in spite of my efforts to hold her out, I do trust her. At least, I believe what she’s telling me right now. I believe that she thinks she knows what’s best for me. She has been looking out for me. The three years Drake and I lived without being discovered make so much more sense to me now.
“I want to trust you, Glory,” she says, “but first you need to do something for me.”
“What?”
“Just a simple demonstration of your Chosen abilities.”
I nod. “Do you have a rat?”
“Sweetie.” She shakes her head. “Killing a rat will not
be sufficient proof. To earn my trust, and for me to be sure you’re the right one to serve at my side, I must see your talents work on more than rats. I need to see you kill a human.”
My stomach twists. “I—a living person?”
“Yes, and I have the perfect test subject in mind.”
“Who?” I try to keep the quaver out of my voice.
“Your friend Scout.”
My head snaps back. “No.” I back away. “How could you possibly ask me to do that? I’ve known Scout my whole life. He’s my best friend’s dating partner. Cal’s brother. I can’t. I won’t.” But I’ve given her more information than I wanted to. Ammunition to hurt me.
I look down. It was ammunition she already had.
She snaps her fingers to draw my attention. “Look at me,” she says. “It’s for the best. The life of one boy is trivial. Besides, he’s barely alive and a worthy sacrifice in the fight for humanity. You’ll be ending his pain.”
Once again, I feel my mind shifting, my focus waning. If Scout is suffering, perhaps he will be glad to die. Mrs. Kalin is searching for ways to help Normals live in the dust. Every death in the Hospital is for the greater good.
No. Those are her thoughts.
Dizziness threatens, but I hold on. I cannot let her plant thoughts in my mind, but neither can I let her be certain that she can’t. If I refuse to make eye contact, she’ll know I’m on to her. I need her to believe that I’m under her control. Problem is, I’m no longer sure that I’m not.
I nod. “I understand. I’ll do it. Where is he?”
M
RS
. K
ALIN LEADS ME
down a series of empty corridors, and I scramble to come up with a plan—a way to save Scout and escape with our lives—but the aftereffects of the drug, and my fight to keep Mrs. Kalin’s influence out of my mind, have left me foggy.
I can’t remember the last time I ate, what time of day it is, or how long I was unconscious. “Did we miss the President’s Birthday?”
She rubs my arm. “No, sweetie. It’s tonight. And don’t you worry. Impress me now and I’ll take you to the executives’ private reception.”
At least I know what day it is now, but I don’t know whether or not the rebels still plan their attack. Maybe Larsson got to them in time, or maybe Burn had Rolph intervene. Either way, there’s nothing I can do about it from here.
Right now I need to save Scout—or at least avoid killing him myself.
Mrs. Kalin stops in front of a door, turns, and looks me directly in the eyes. “You are about to see some very important, top secret experiments essential to our cause. We cannot save humanity without sacrifices.”
“No gain without sacrifice,” I say, then swallow hard and blink. I didn’t mean to say that, but at least I realized it afterward.
She pauses and tips her head to the side, studying me. My heart thunders in my chest, but I keep my expression neutral and keep my focus just below her eyes.
Apparently satisfied, she turns, types a code into the keypad, and the door swings open. I chide myself for not watching and memorizing her access code. I need to keep alert, on my toes. But it’s so hard right now. Denying her complete control of my mind is taking so much concentration.
I choke back a gasp.
The room is lined with tall metal cages barely wide enough for people to sit. As we enter, the cages rattle, screams ring out, and the stench of blood and human waste is unbearable.
Some of the cage inhabitants are loose; others have their limbs restrained, tied to the bars with heavy metal chains and shackles. Some of the captives seem more Shredder than human.
My desperation rises as I search each cage to find Scout, hoping that he’s not in this horrible room. I hope my
agreeing
to kill Scout was enough and Mrs. Kalin no longer expects me to do it. Maybe she’s showing me this room for another reason.
The Shredder in the cage next to us chews on his cage, and the heavy wires are doing more damage to his mouth than he’s doing to them.
Gagging, I look away.
“When did you last clean this room?” Mrs. Kalin says, and I turn to see that we aren’t alone. There’s a man, also in a white coat, except his is splattered with blood.
“Right away.” The man races to pick up a hose. He pulls a lever and a strong stream of water flies out of the hose, slamming into a man and tossing him back against the bars of his cage. Filthy water runs into a trough along the back wall and into a drain.
Mrs. Kalin pulls my face around with her hand and looks me directly in the eyes. “We are not barbarians. We make our volunteer test subjects as comfortable as possible. See? They even get baths.”
“You’re very kind.” I fight a shudder and try to sound sincere. Then I scan the cages again.
Please don’t let Scout be in this room.
One of the cages holds a scrawny man with wispy, gray hair. Dirty, bloodstained clothes hang from his skeletal frame, and jagged scars and fresh wounds mar his thin, papery skin. Clearly lacking the strength to stand, he is being held upright against the back of his cage by a rope strung under his arms. His head is slumped forward.
“Is he alive?”
“I’m not certain.” Mrs. Kalin answers, and I realize I spoke my thought aloud. She gestures for the man with the hose to come over, and he directs the punishing spray at the old man’s body.
His face rises in pain and shock, and our eyes meet.
His anguish rips into me and I look down, unable to maintain eye contact, ashamed that I’m not doing anything to stop this.
“Oh, this is most unfortunate,” Mrs. Kalin says, and I see that she’s walked to the other side of the room to the front of a cage containing a body that’s crumpled on the ground—a body that didn’t move when sprayed with the hose.
She beckons, and fighting nausea, I cross the room to join her. My legs shake with each step.
She unlatches the cage and the body falls out, landing on its back, face up.
Bile rises in my throat, then tears, then anger. It’s Scout.
I dive down and gather his body into my arms, but he’s cold and stiff, his body covered in bruises and cuts and burns. “No,” I shout. “No. This is wrong. So wrong. No experiment is worth this. You’re torturing people, killing them.”
Anger racing through me, I look up to Mrs. Kalin. “You’re a monster.”
She looks into my eyes. “Of course I’m not. You know better,” she says. “I’m the closest thing you have to a mother. I love you. I care about you. I understand you. I’m all you have.”
She’s right. I love her.
I break eye contact and bend over, panting, trying to regain my own thoughts.
I need to fight back. I need to resist the comfort she offers, my instinct to please her, my desire to be loved. She is
not
all I have, but I have to give her credit for evoking my mother. It nearly worked. She’s been playing me since we first met.
She rubs my back and I rise, letting her pull me into her comforting arms, but I will not cave. I need to repress my grief over Scout. I can’t afford to feel such strong emotions right now. I need to maintain my control.
“I know you’ll miss your friend,” she says. “But look at the bright side. Now you don’t have to kill him.”
I hold onto her tightly. I can’t let her see into my eyes or she’ll know the truth. She’ll know how much I hate her.
“Leave us,” she says to the man. He turns off his punishing hose and exits.
Emotions cloaked, I release Mrs. Kalin and back away, keeping my gaze from hers.
“It’s for the best,” I say. “Scout gave his life for science. It’s a noble death. For the greater good of all Haven.”
“That’s right.” Mrs. Kalin beams. “I knew I was right about you.”
“What else can you show me?” I ask her. “I want to learn everything.”
“Not so fast.” She wags a finger. “You still need to complete your test.”
I back up a few steps and look around the room to cover my reaction. After all that—after finding Scout dead—she still expects me to kill someone?
Her eyes narrow. “I thought you understood what’s at stake.” She walks around me in a slow circle. “But if you’d rather I hand you back to the Comps to be expunged…”
My chest constricts. I can’t justify killing an innocent person, even if it’s to save my own life. But I don’t want to die.
“I’m not heartless,” Mrs. Kalin says. “I’ll make it easy for you. You may choose anyone you want for your demonstration. Look around”—she spins, hands out toward the cages—“pick anyone. Let me see what you can do.”
The old man groans. I turn toward him. He looks at me, his eyes pleading, and it’s easy to imagine that he’s asking me to kill him, giving me permission, but I have to be sure. If I can hear thoughts, I can find out what he wants.
I step closer to his cage and notice there’s blood seeping through his t-shirt from what must be a huge wound in his abdomen. His eyes are glassy, and while I’m no expert, he seems close to death.
“Show me. Come on.” Mrs. Kalin steps up beside me and I can feel the eagerness wafting off her. “Prove that you’re Chosen and I’ll keep you at my side. I’ll protect you, treat you like my daughter.”
At the word “daughter,” my anger and my determination to live spark to life. I already am someone’s daughter. Even if they are a long way away, my father and brother are waiting for me on the Outside. I can’t give up hope of seeing them again.
Given Mrs. Kalin’s capabilities, few people will ever be able to challenge her. She can talk anyone into trusting her, following her. Glory was also convinced that Scout was safe
in the Hospital for awhile. I can’t let her control every mind in Haven. If I’m dead, she wins.
I need to make her believe that I’m with her—until I find a way to stop her.
If she wants to see the full extent of my talent, I’ll show her, even if it goes against my vow not to use my Deviance to kill. There’s no other choice.
I look into the man’s eyes and lock on in an instant.
Let me die
, he thinks.
Please. Now. I can’t stand the pain.
I latch onto his heart and feel its weak beat accelerate as I grab hold. I feel his blood flowing. One tight squeeze and he’ll be dead.
I turn away. I can’t do it. I can’t take another life. Especially not someone so helpless. I want to help this man, to ease his pain, but this isn’t the way. The only life I’ll save by taking his is my own. It’s not a justifiable reason to kill. No. If I’m going to do something so horrible, I need to kill Mrs. Kalin.
A crash distracts me. I turn.
A Shredder has broken out of his cage and is charging toward us. Mrs. Kalin lunges for a red button on the wall, but the Shredder grabs her and digs its teeth into her shoulder.
“Hey,” I yell. The Shredder looks up. Blood drips from its teeth.
Mrs. Kalin looks into my eyes. “Help me.”
The pain in her eyes, her pleading, tightens my chest. I can’t let the Shredder hurt her.
I shift my eye contact to the Shredder’s and grab hold.
Focusing on its brain, I hold tight and twist. The Shredder screams and the sound is horrible, like metal on metal, but it releases Mrs. Kalin and she drops to the floor.
Holding the connection, I transfer my concentration to the Shredder’s heart and sense the thickened blood flowing, the slow beat of its heart. If Mrs. Kalin wants a demonstration, I’ll give her one. This monster hurt Mrs. Kalin. Hurt my new mother. I aim for the vessels leading in and out of its heart and drive blood in, while squeezing off the exits. Pinching hard, I force more blood toward its heart and the Shredder’s eyes bulge. I can sense its heart expanding, filling with the thick sludge Shredders have for blood.
It screams again, clutches its chest, and tears at its flesh, baring ribs. I squeeze—hard.
The Shredder’s heart explodes.
Blood dark as tar bursts from its chest. The Shredder crashes to the floor, and Mrs. Kalin screams as the body lands across her.
I push the dead monster away from her. Mrs. Kalin’s covered in Shredder blood, her face filled with terror. From her knees, she reaches up and pulls me into a tight embrace. “You saved my life.”
Workers rush in. Noise bombards my ears. Someone pulls Mrs. Kalin off me and hands her a mask she places over her face. It’s dust, I realize. She’s breathing dust to heal her shoulder wound. Thank goodness she’ll be okay.
A man in a white coat pulls me up. His lips move. I hear sound, but no words. All I can hear is blood rushing in my ears. I’m dizzy, but I can’t pass out. I won’t let it happen. I
drop to sit on the floor and fight to comprehend what just happened—what I’ve done. I’ve killed a Shredder to save Mrs. Kalin.
A moment ago I wanted to kill her, and yet all I can do is wonder whether or not I’ve passed her test.
M
RS
. K
ALIN NODS WITH
approval as I step into the main room of her apartment, bathed and wearing the dress she bought me last week. At the time, I thought she was just being kind, but now I suspect she was planning for today.
She’s wearing a shiny gray dress and is cleaned up too, which can only mean that her apartment has more than one room with cleaning facilities. In the Pents, rooms with running water are shared by hundreds of tenants, and Mrs. Kalin appears to live alone with her marriage partner in his huge, multi-room apartment.