Compliance (9 page)

“Not a Deviant, stupid. An
employee
. One of the brainwashed masses.”

His words fuel the burn in my cheeks, my anger, my hurt. “I am not brainwashed. And I am not stupid.” I can barely sort through all the malicious things he’s saying, can barely contain my emotions. My Deviance might kill him. Why has he turned against me like this?

I breathe slowly, trying to figure out what’s going on, trying to get my ability under control. Burn knew I was coming back into Haven, and he never gave me the slightest indication
that he was against the plan. In fact, I thought my coming back here, risking my life to save others, made him proud. What’s changed?

He’s like a different person.

But whatever’s changed, all I can do is be professional. I need to remember what’s important: it’s not me, it’s not Burn, it’s not Cal—it’s saving Deviants. That’s why I came back.

I clear my throat. “I need more names. There’s only one left from the last list Clay gave me: Adele Parry.”

His shoulders shift back. “Stay away from her. She’s none of your business.”

“Adele’s name is on the list that Clay gave me, so it’s my responsibility to find her, and yours to get her to safety.” I fight to keep my voice even. “I’ll continue to report to this location every night I can at 1:00
AM
—just like I did with Clay.” I straighten my shoulders. “I’ll do my job. You do yours.”

“You think I’m your new Extractor?” His nostrils flare. “No thank you. I’d rather not get killed.”

“You’re right.” I shake my head. Clay will do it. “It’s not safe for you in Haven.”

“No one’s safe working with you.”

I lift my chin. “I’ve been part of thirty-seven successful extractions.”

“And got your Extractor killed.”

My head snaps back. “What?”

“Clayton’s dead.” Burn steps toward me, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “Dead, because of your incompetence.”

“What happened?” My voice comes out in a breath that empties my lungs. They won’t refill.

“Killed,” he says, “along with your last target.”

I double over. “No.” Arabella? I gasp for breath, desperate for air. I straighten. “I saw the last expunging. It wasn’t them.”

“Management doesn’t put on a show every time someone’s exed. Especially not when it’s a skinny little girl with glowing eyes who looks like a freaking angel.”

Huge stones clog my throat. Arabella’s dead. And Clay. “What happened?”

“They were picked up before they even got out of Haven. We didn’t have a chance to mount a rescue mission before the Shredders dragged them off to one of their camps. By the time we found them, there wasn’t much left.”

My breaths quicken. I feel sick. “What went wrong? What can I do differently next time?”

“There won’t be a next time. You’re done,” he says. “Out of the Freedom Army. You’ll have no further contact with any of us.”

“No.” I feel as if I’m being crushed under a thousand tons of rubble. “The FA can’t cut me off. I’ll save more Deviants with or without you.”

“Clay was a good man.” Burn’s voice shakes and he charges toward me, raising a fist.

It’s all I can do not to duck, but he stops short of striking me. My heart thunders. “Were you and Clay close friends?” I ask softly.

His wince makes his answer clear. No wonder Burn’s
been so strange. He just lost a good friend. So did I, but clearly Clay meant a lot to Burn. They probably knew each other for years, working side by side for the FA. Burn never knew his real parents.

Did Clay raise him? I realize how little I know about Burn.

My determination to regain his trust—and Rolph’s—grows. I’m devastated that Arabella and Clay were caught, but whatever happened, I’m certain that the Comp didn’t see me coming out of the manhole. I refuse to believe that I was the reason they were caught. If I could talk to Rolph I’d tell him that, but I suspect making my case to Burn won’t help. Not right now when he’s so angry.

If I find Adele Parry, they’ll both see how much they need me.

I reach for the doorknob. “I’ll report back here every night. I’ll let you know when you can extract Adele. I’ll find her.”

“Good luck with that.”

He sneers at me, and I study the strong, hard line of his jaw, the look in his dark eyes, trying to find a hint of the boy I knew. I try to find a glint of his bravery, a shadow of the wounds inside him, a trace of the way he used to look at me.

All I see is disdain.

I avert my gaze to avoid murder.

Three months suddenly feels like ten lifetimes. I thought that seeing Burn would make me feel closer to my family and ease some of my loneliness, but it’s made me feel so much worse.

Until three months ago, I’d seen Drake every single day of his life, and without my brother around, a chunk of me is missing. Burn’s attitude makes my loneliness worse. A deep, dark ache opens in my chest like a wound, a hole only my family can fill.

“Turn off your torch so I can open the door,” I tell him, my voice cold.

The room goes dark and I slip out into the alley.

S
TINGING AND STUNNED
, I slip through the air vents, following them down from the roof, and then drop from the opening into the barracks hallway. If I can’t rescue Deviants anymore, then why am I in Haven? Why am I putting up with the loneliness, the danger, the stale air? And almost worse than all that, I’m shattered by Burn’s complete and utter rejection.

He’s the only person who fully knows me and accepts me. The real me. He’s the only person who gets how it feels to lose control, how it feels to discover you’ve used your power to kill and not even remember. Both Burn and I have killed; we share the weight of that guilt. I thought we shared more.

Loneliness lands like dust clogging my throat, like a deep ache in my bones. Burn’s indifference made the time
I’ve been separated from him and my family feel like hundreds of years, and the distance like thousands of miles.

Muscles shaking with fatigue, I slide into the hallway, then replace the grate. I have less than three hours before the morning bell rings.

Three nights in a row with barely any sleep. Once I find Adele I’ll regain my place in the FA, but tonight I’m too tired to sneak into the System room to attempt another search. Eyes cast down, barely open, I head for my room.

“Where in Haven have you been?” Stacy says way too loudly and I jump.

Whispering is outside Stacy’s skill set. Why didn’t I check the hall? Did she see me come through the vent?

“I was using the toilet,” I tell her, and then realize the women’s toilet is past us both in the other direction.

“Liar.” Her short brown curls bounce like springs as she shakes her head. “I’m reporting you to Larsson.” She bumps my shoulder with hers as she passes, no doubt headed to follow through on her threat. My overly tired mind refuses to devise a solution.

“Wait.”

Stacy turns and looks down at me with scorn. Her shoulders must be twice as wide as mine. She’ll be way more plausible in the Comp uniform than I’ll ever be.

“I was taking a walk,” I tell her, “stretching my legs.” I flex my foot and I don’t need to fake a wince. “I had a cramp.”

One side of her mouth twists up. “You could have walked your cramp out in our room.”

“I didn’t want to wake you.”

Her lips squeeze together. “It’s against regulation to be in the men’s end of the barracks past 2100 hours.”

“Then Stacy”—we both jump at the sound of Cal’s voice from behind me—“why were
you
heading that way?”

Stacy runs a hand over her short curls and tips one shoulder forward as if wanting to make herself seem smaller, more feminine. “You’re up late, Cal.” Her tone is cloying. “Can’t sleep?” She twists one of her curls. “Anything I can do to help?”

“I’m just making sure Glory gets back to her room.”

“Haven’t got around to revoking your license yet?” She gestures toward the dating bracelet on Cal’s wrist.

“Stacy,” Cal says evenly. “I’ve told you. Glory and I have no intention of revoking our license.”

“You two sure don’t act like a couple.” Her eyes narrow. “She cringes when you touch her.”

Cal’s nostrils flare. “Our relationship is private.”

I feel ill. Stacy’s focus on Cal has revealed things I hoped no one would see.

Stacy reaches for his arm and leans in. “Is she holding something over you? Forcing you to stay with her? If your license is bogus, HR should know.”

“Stacy, you need to drop it.” Cal moves away from her and drapes his arm over my shoulder. I try not to stiffen, but thinking about it makes it harder.

“We’re a real couple,” I say.

“Could have fooled me.” Stacy’s jaw twitches. “You look like you’re ready to run.”

I lean into Cal.

“You’d really accuse us?” Cal appeals to Stacy. “I thought you were my friend.”

“Yeah, well…” She’s clearly torn between her crush on Cal and her hate for me. “I still don’t know what Glory was doing out here in the hall. There’s no way I’m buying her leg cramp excuse. I was awake an hour ago and she wasn’t in our room then, either.”

Cal’s arm tenses behind me, but then he leans toward Stacy and whispers, “She wasn’t there because she was with me.”

Stacy’s face twitches as if she’s holding back her reaction. “You’re lying. You guys weren’t together. I don’t believe you’re even a couple. I’m not sure what kind of game you’re playing, but if you’re committing fraud, HR should know.”

“You want proof we’re a couple? Fine.” Cal tilts my head back and kisses me full on the mouth.

I tense, but I need Stacy to believe Cal so I relax, soften my body, my mouth. Cal deepens his kiss and the pressure of his lips, the warmth of his hands, the tension and heat of his body reawaken something inside me and ignite what I used to feel, what I’ve felt for Cal since I was eleven and he was thirteen.

Cal is one of the best people I know—strong, generous and loyal—and at this moment I could fall back in love. Maybe I already have. Fatigue can’t fully explain my wobbly legs, the stirring inside me, the heat. Without his hands for support, I feel certain I’d melt on the floor.

“Okay, okay.” Stacy’s voice cracks. “I get it. You can stop.”

Cal pulls back from our kiss. Questions are mixed with
the passion in his eyes, but all I can offer him with mine is gratitude.

His lie was risky. He put his record on the line by tying himself to my absence. Stacy can’t report me without reporting him too. Let’s hope her desire to stay on Cal’s good side outweighs her urge to hurt me.

Cal presses his warm lips to my forehead and then I walk on jelly legs, following Stacy to our room. When I reach the door, I turn back. Cal’s watching, making sure that I’m safe, but the heat’s vanished from his expression, leaving only questions.

Cal pulls me aside on our way out of the gym at the end of hand-to-hand combat training. “We need to talk.”

“Larsson wants us in our full gear for the next class.” I wipe a towel across my sweaty face. “Can we talk later?” I’ve been avoiding being alone with Cal all day, not wanting to face questions about last night.

“No.” His hand’s hot and firm on my bare forearm. “Now.”

I could break out of his hold—I practiced the technique in class today—but don’t want to hurt him. Plus, a few of our class members are still milling around and I can’t cast further suspicion on our relationship status. If Stacy’s questioned our dating license, perhaps others have too. Drawing attention is the last thing I want. I can’t do anything that gets in the way of my saving more Deviants. Especially now that I’m on the outs with the FA.

I bend one leg and rest my foot on the wall behind me
so that my knee forms a barrier between us, a safety margin; because if he tries to kiss me again, I don’t think I’ll have the willpower to stop him. Based on my reaction last night, my body wants to be back together—for real—but I’m still confused and not ready to face his questions. Besides, I have more important priorities.

“Where were you?” he asks.

“Combat training. Same as you.”

“Not now.” He brushes sweat off his forehead with the sleeve of his t-shirt. “Last night.” His eyes are filled with concern.

Guilt drapes over me and I drop my foot to the ground. “I was getting Jayma some contraband rats.”

“In the middle of the night?”

“When else am I going to do it? Did you see her? She’s so skinny. She needs extra meat.”

He leans with his forearm flat against the wall next to my head. “I love that you’re so generous and thoughtful, but”—his lips brush my hot forehead—“you need to be more careful. Take me with you next time.”

I try to keep eye contact but can’t. Gigantic secrets gnaw at my insides. How can he not see them? “I’m worried about Jayma.”

“Scout will look out for her,” he says. “Don’t go out at night alone. Please. It’s not safe.” He leans, his breath hot on my face, his lips drawing closer.

It would be so easy to kiss him right now, to let his strong hands soothe the aches in my body, to let his lips transfer those aches other places.

But I slip to the side, escaping the closeness. “We’d better get changed.” I stretch one arm across my chest, holding it across my body with the other hand.

He takes my arm and moves it down, removing the barrier between us. “What is it?” His voice is serious. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing.” I try to look into his eyes, but they disobey and flit away.

“Don’t lie, Glory.” His voice sounds more hurt than angry, but his jaw is hard, and I want to reach out and trace my finger along the sharp, hard line, to relax his features and mold them into the expression I love—the way he used to look at me with love in his eyes.

I want to share everything with Cal. I want to tell him every truth, but instead I smile in the way other girls smile at their boyfriends when they want something. I smile in the way Stacy smiles at Cal. “Can’t a girl have a few secrets?”

His head jerks back. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Like what?” I tip my head to the side and touch his arm lightly.

He backs away.

“What?”

“You can’t manipulate me, Glory, so don’t even try.”