Concealed Attractions (Cedar Island Tales) (17 page)

“
I’m confused. Y
ou didn’
t actually talk to
a person at the abortion clinic?
”
Angela reached for her chart.

“
Well
, sort of. I mean, she told me how it was done, and that I co
uld have someone with me. But
I decided that’
s not for me.”
S
he reached for a tissue, her voice stronger
, seeming more sure of herself
, even though her knees shook
. “No, I’
m not going to have an abortion.”

Angela
ey
ed
the
chart
for a long minute. She sat down and took her
pat
ient’s hand.
“
So you
’ve decided you
’re
going
to raise this baby,
Dannilynn
?”

“
I’m
going back to school,
I’m not sure I
can do
that
.
” It was so hard to imagine herself as a mother.
“
Maybe I’ll
just
give the baby away—
you
know, for adoption.”

“The way you
talk
doesn’t sound like you’
re very sure
.
Do
your parents
want
you to
do that
?”

“
They
still
don’t know.
”

“When are you going to tell them?”

Danni
’s shoulders began to shake and tears slipped down her cheeks,
her
silent weeping a poignant expression of her despair
.
“Oh, God, I can’t.”

“Why are you so afraid your father will react badly, Dannilynn?”

“My aunt died. She was pregnant when it happened. My dad won’t even talk about her.
My mom said it was before she and my dad got married.
”

“And you don’t want to lose your father’s love. Am I right?”

She
nodded, her
shoulders bowed
.

Angela waited until
Danni
sat up straighter
.
“
Okay,
so
you aren’t going to have an abortion
.
But you haven’t decided if
you’re
go
ing to keep the baby or give it up for adoption?”

“Right
.
”

Angela
seemed to sigh
. “
Have you discussed this with anyone?”

“Sort of, well, not really. Someone I know
—a friend—he
said his sister got pregnant and she
kept
the baby.”

Angela
rose and went to her desk,
reached into a drawer
,
and pulled out a
plastic model of a
tiny
two
-inch long
fetus
. “
Then I want you to
look at
this.
It’
s about the size of the
fetus you’
re now carrying.”

“It’s not just a blob of ce
lls? That’s what my friend said.
”

“
That description
’s
not quite accurate.
Your baby
doesn’t have any hair yet, but
its heart is
beating
and the fingers and toes are already developed. Each week that you
are
pregnant,
your fetus
will grow
and pretty soon, your body is going to
give away your secret
. Probably within the next four to six weeks
. I want you to ta
lk to
your mother. I’m sure she
’ll
want to help you. After all, you
’re
carrying her first grandchild
,
whether
or not
you
decide to
keep the baby
.”

“
I’m going back to school
and she doesn’t need to know.
I’
ve been thinking I’ll go home with my roommate during the holidays and at term breaks—at least until I have the baby. Sarah won’t mind and she won’t tell.
That way, after I give the baby up, no one
has to know
.
My mom
’ll be so hurt if she
discovers
how I let her down.
If
I’m gone, she won’t
see me and realize
what I did
.”

Angela
sat back down
. “If you prefer,
I’ll
talk with
her,
a
t you
r next appointment.
Please t
hink about it.
You deserve her support, and y
ou’ll
want someone with you when you have the baby. Your mother would
be a good choice.”
She wrote some notes in the chart and moved toward the door. “I need to see you one month from today, and every month
after that
until you’
re closer to term.”

“But I’m going back to school.”

“If you want me to refer you to a
doctor
near the
c
ollege
, I will, but you’re not that far away, and if you prefer an appointment in the evening, I
’ll
arrange i
t—as a special favor to your boss, D
octor
Taylor
, who
insists
you receive prenatal care
.
He cares about you.
”

“I know he does.”
Danni
shook her head
and seemed to be thinking about Angela’s offer
.
“
I don’t want to see another doctor.  Can I go back to school and then tell you when I
can
come in
?”

“
That will work
.” Angela turned. “
Dannilynn
, please think carefully about
this.
Your parents
should
know. Talk with them.”

But
Danni
just shook her head, her mouth set in a thin line.

That evening, Angela
invited
Joe
l
for dinner.

“We need to talk,” she
announced
when he arrived, a bottle of wine
in one hand,
her favorite
flowers in
the other. 
How could she concentrate on business when her body was begging her to respond
to
what she knew was behind
Joel’s loving smile?
After a brief pause, she said,
“This isn’
t about us
.
I
want to know what you know about
Dannilynn
Kelly
’s friends.”

“
Oh
,” he said, his face falling
.
“
So
you’re
only
interested in my
assistant
.” He handed her the wine and the flowers and turned as if to leave.

“Don’t go
, Joel
. I don’t usually do this, but I’m worried about her.” She pulled him back into the house, at which point, he
took
advantage of her proximity to hold her close.

“
Honey, please
.
Maybe later.” S
he
reluctantly
eased out of his arms,
knowing that if she didn’t, her resolve would melt in the heat of his kiss
es. She
returned to the kitchen, and handed him the two steaks she had marinated. “Why don’t you take charge of the grill? I’ve got the vegetables ready and the salad’s al
most
done.
I’ll talk while you do the man
thing with the meat.”

H
e
took
the steaks from her
. “
Okay
, but I’m holding you to what you just said, the ‘later’ part.” He grinned at her
.
“
Talk to me.”

“I’ve worked with other
unmarried pregnant
women
,
young ones
, some a lot younger than
Dannilynn
. But
she
is so adamant about not telling her parents—for reasons I can’t disclose
, so don’t even ask
—and I’m worried
what
she might do if things don’t work out
like she wants
.”

“You think she’s suicidal?”
Joe
l
glanced at
her
.  “She’s never struck me as depressed.”

“I’m not sure she thinks of it that way. I’m worried she’s not sensitive enough to her body changes to know when to come in or call me. She wasn’t thrilled that I wanted to see her every month and
flatly
rejected seeing a doctor near her school. She goes to
Buckley
, doesn’t she?
”

He nodded.

“
I know a great guy whose office is less than
two
miles from campus, but I’m not sure she’d be comfortable with a male
doc
.”

“Sounds to me like you think she’s been badly treated by a man
,
or men
.
”
Joe
l
kept
his eyes on the
sizzling
steaks.

Without commenting on his supposition, she asked,
“Who does she trust?
”
She
looked
at Joel
.
“What about you? Will she talk to you? And, what about Ben? What kind of relationship do they have?”

“Ben? I think they’
re
just
friends. N
ot boyfriend/
girlf
riend, just friendly with each
other.
I offered her an opportunity to
share things
,
but she didn’t
take the bait
.
And,
I don’t want anyone thinking I’m the father
. Y
ou know how small towns are
.
I’ve met her
dad
and I can see why she might not want to confide in him. He
stri
kes me
as a pretty conservative type. You know, m
y way or the highway
.”

Angela
took
the steaks from him and
urged
him into the house, where the table was set. “
Some
times
when she talks
, she seems much younger than
almost twenty-one
. A
t other times, more mature. She did come in
when
I asked her to. But, what’s she going to d
o once she goes back to school
?”

“I don’t know, babe. What I do know
is
,
this meal is too good to wrec
k worrying about
Danni
. How ’
bout we sit down and eat, and then make mad
,
passionate
love
?”

She laughe
d. “You never change. Let’s eat,
and we’ll
see what happens after dinner. N
o promises!”

Joel
pull
ed
her down to his lap
for a quick nuzzle
.

“
Danni
, i
t’s Ben.  Happy and I are going for a walk
after I’m done at the clinic
. Want to come?
”