Confessions (14 page)

Watanabe’s hand froze over his tools.

“Not
bad
!
” he said. “I’ve never seen her, but I hear she comes to school sometimes.”

He was obviously interested. I did a major fist-pump in my head. I had cleared the first hurdle. To seal the deal, to make myself seem really useful, I told him how I’d seen the girl begging Moriguchi for a little pouch at the mall, and how she hadn’t bought it for her.

“Awesome! A pouch would give me the room to make it even more powerful. I knew I was right about you, Shitamura. Thanks to you, this is going to be even better than I thought.”

“Then let’s go get the pouch. We don’t want them selling out.”

We got on our bikes and headed for the mall—Happy Town. It was almost Valentine’s Day, and the place was really crowded. I wove through all the ladies and the high school girls, making a beeline for the toy corner.

“Here it is! Looks like it’s the last one.” I smoothed the crushed fur and held out the Snuggly Bunny pouch for Watanabe to see.

“Then it must have been meant to be,” Watanabe said. Precisely—if they’d been sold out, the whole plan would have been screwed up. It was fate, us getting the last one.

We put our allowance together and bought the pouch, then we went up to the Domino Burgers on the second floor to hold a strategy session.

“How does the purse work?” I asked him as I bit into my burger.

“It’s pretty simple. I can wire a zipper like this to deliver the shock.” He arranged French fries on his tray to match the circuits, but I couldn’t follow any of it. “You see?” he asked from time to time as the diagram got more complicated.

“I get it,” I said, when I thought it sounded right. “It is simple.” I didn’t want to disappoint him, and as I nodded and pretended to follow along, I almost felt like I was beginning to understand.

But it hardly mattered—I was having more fun than I’d ever had. I’d been to Domino with my sister, but this was my first time with a friend. I remember having seen middle and high school kids here when I was in elementary school and thinking how cool they looked. Now, I was here myself; and to top it off, we weren’t just talking about stupid stuff like the kids around us, we were having an important meeting. A secret strategy session.

“But why does she come to the pool?” Watanabe asked, eating one of the French fries from his diagram. That was my cue.

“For the dog. Have you seen the black dog at the house on the other side of the fence?”

“You mean the fuzzy one?”

“That’s right. She comes to feed him. I think she hides bread or something under her coat.”

“Really? I wonder why she does that? What about the people in the house?”

“Now that you mention it, I haven’t seen anyone there in about a week. Maybe they’re on a trip. We’d probably need to check on that.”

“How?”

“I’ve got it! What if we throw a baseball over the fence and go into the yard to get it back?” Ideas were popping into my head one after the other. I’d never felt like this before. Watanabe was the chief design officer, but I was in charge of tactics! I wasn’t his assistant anymore—we were working together!

I proposed the following plan to him:

1. I would go ahead to scout out the place to avoid any unforeseen interruptions.
   
2. I’d meet up with him at the pool and we’d hide in the locker room.
   
3. When the girl came, I’d talk to her first—since Watanabe looks kind of weird when he smiles.
   
4. Watanabe would hang the pouch around her neck (pretending her mother asked us to buy it for her).
   
5. Then I’d tell her to look inside.
   

“Sounds good to me,” Watanabe said, sounding satisfied. I burst out laughing, picturing Moriguchi’s little girl sitting back on her butt.

“Do you think she’ll start bawling?” I asked, still chuckling. Watanabe was giggling, too.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Really? I think she will. You want to bet on it? Loser treats for Domino Burgers next time.”

“You’re on.”

We toasted with Coke to seal the deal.

Since this morning—no, really for the past few days—I’ve been totally pumped. For the first time since I got to middle school, I’m actually happy to be here.

After second period, I whispered to Watanabe, “Everything ready?”

“All set,” he whispered back, without looking at me. Even though we were friends now, we hadn’t started hanging out at school because we didn’t want anyone figuring out what we were up to.

I wasn’t really paying attention in class anymore, and in fifth period, during science, when I happened to look up and see Moriguchi, I almost burst out laughing. The whole day seemed to race by.

After school, I went straight to the pool. I took a look around and made sure nobody was there. Fortunately, no one had been given cleanup duty after me.

The dog was sticking its nose through the fence, but it still didn’t look like anybody was home. Still, better safe than sorry, so I fished out the baseball I’d found behind the team’s shed and threw it into the yard. Then I pretended to be mad that I had to chase it, and I climbed the fence. I walked around the house and pushed the button on the intercom, but there was no answer and no sign of people inside.

Perfect.

I went over the fence again and back to the pool. The dog had been watching me the whole time, but it never once barked. Maybe it was too old—or too stupid.

I texted Watanabe that “Phase One” was completed, and within five minutes he showed up at the pool.

“All systems are go!” I said and gave him the thumbs-up. Then we went into the locker room and hid behind the door. It was never locked. Phase Two under way. The locker room was dark and musty and reminded me of the forts we used to make under a blanket or something when we were kids. Back when I still thought I could do anything. But maybe that had all changed now—maybe I really could do anything, with a friend like Watanabe.

I looked over at him and realized he was doing a final test on the pouch. It looked totally harmless, like a perfectly normal little kid’s purse, but I knew better. How cool that it could deliver a real electric shock!

“Why don’t you come over to my house next time?” I said. “My mom really wants to meet you. She said she’ll bake a cake. I think she’s happy I’ve got a smart friend. She wrote to the principal last term to bitch about Moriguchi always announcing our class rank, but when I told her we were friends she knew right away that you’re at the top of our class. Go figure. I don’t have anything like your laboratory, but she does bake a pretty good cake. I know, you can come over sometime soon to celebrate this whole plan. I’ll have her bake something really special. Which do you like better, whipped cream or chocolate?”

He didn’t answer and held his hand up for me to be quiet. Through the crack in the door we could see the girl slipping through the gate.

“It’s her,” I whispered, and we watched as she made her way around the pool heading straight for the dog at the fence. Apparently she hadn’t seen us.

“Dinner, Muku,” she said. Then she squatted down in front of him, pulled some bread out of her jacket, and began tearing off pieces to give to him. He wagged his tail and gobbled down the bread, and she watched him with this big smile on her face. It was all gone in just a few seconds.

“See you soon,” she said, wiping the crumbs from her clothes and standing up.

I looked at Watanabe and he nodded. Then we walked slowly over to her. Phase Three under way. I spoke first.

“Hi,” I said as we got close to her. “You’re Manami, aren’t you?” We must have startled her, because she turned around really fast. I kept smiling. “We’re in your mother’s class. You remember, I saw you the other day at Happy Town.”

Everything was going according to plan. Except that she seemed pretty nervous. She was watching us carefully.

“Do you like dogs?” Watanabe asked her. “We do, too. That’s why we come here sometimes—to feed the doggie.” This line wasn’t in the original plan, but the girl got this big smile on her face when she heard it. Watanabe had the pouch behind his back, but as soon as he saw that she’d relaxed, he held it out toward her. Phase Four.

“Snuggly Bunny!” she screamed. Watanabe got this weird smile on
his
face and then he bent down so he could look in her eyes.

“Your mother didn’t buy it for you that day, did she?” I asked her. “Did you get one later?” I felt like I was reading a line from our script. She shook her head.

“No?” said Watanabe. “That’s why your mother asked us to get it for you. It’s a little early, but it’s your Valentine present from her.” Then he put the cord around her neck.

“From Momma?” she said, looking even happier than before. I didn’t think she looked much like Moriguchi until she smiled; then she looked exactly like her.

“That’s right. There’s chocolate inside. Open it and see.” This was the clincher, and it was supposed to be my line, but Watanabe went ahead and said it himself, which made me a little mad. Still, what did it matter? We were getting to the climax. The girl stroked the fur on the pouch for a second and then put her fingers on the zipper.

This was the moment—when she got the shock and fell flat on her ass. Except she didn’t.

There was a little popping sound, and she twitched hard and went all floppy, then settled on her back like she was falling in slow motion. After that she just lay there, perfectly still, with her eyes closed.

What just happened? She couldn’t be…dead?

As this idea popped into my head, I started to shake and grabbed onto Watanabe almost like a reflex.

“What’s wrong? She’s not…moving,” I said.

Watanabe didn’t answer, but when I looked up at him he was smiling. As though everything he’d ever wished had just come true. It was the most natural smile in the world. He looked at me.

“Go ahead, tell everybody all about it,” he said.

What? Tell them what?
Before I had time to say anything, he brushed me off like a piece of dirt. “See you later,” he said, and then he turned around and walked away.

Wait! What did you do?
I wanted to scream after him as loud as I could, but nothing came out. He stopped, as though he’d just remembered something, and turned around.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Don’t worry about them thinking you had anything to do with this. We’ve never been friends. I can’t stand kids like you anyway—worthless but full of yourself. Compared to a genius like me, you’re pretty much a complete failure.”

A failure? Wait! Don’t leave me here like this!
I wanted to run after him, to run away, but my legs were frozen. His words echoed over and over in my head. Everything went black.

It was getting dark. The sound of the evening chime brought me back to my senses. I felt like I’d been standing there in the dark for hours, but it had been only a few minutes since Watanabe had left. His parting words were still racing through my head.

He’d meant to kill her all along. I’d been used. But for what?

Tell everybody all about it.
Was that what he’d wanted in the first place? If I went to the police and told them everything that had happened, they’d go and arrest him. Was
that
what he wanted? Did he
want
to be a murderer? Maybe that was it. But if he did get arrested, would they really just let me go? What if he lied to the police? What if he told them he didn’t know anything about it? Or that I’d planned the whole thing and had dragged
him
along? That would be it for me.

I looked down and my eyes met the Snuggly Bunny eyes. I was the one who had seen the girl begging Moriguchi for the pouch. I reached down and took it from around her neck, and then I threw it away as far as I could.

Was that enough? Would they suspect me? If I just ran away and didn’t tell anybody, would I get off? No, that wouldn’t work. If somebody gets electrocuted, they go looking for someone to blame. It wouldn’t take long before they’d get Watanabe, and if he turned on me.…

But what if I made it look like she fell in the pool? That would work! She just fell in the pool!

I had to act quickly. I picked her up, being careful not to look at her face. She was heavier than I thought she’d be. I staggered across the deck, but when I got to the edge of the pool I nearly fell in myself. The water was dirty and covered with dead leaves. I held out my arms.

No, that wouldn’t work. I didn’t want to make a big splash and a lot of noise.

I squatted down, taking care not to lose my balance, but as I did the girl’s body twitched just a little. Then she slowly opened her eyes. I cried out and nearly dropped her in the water.

She’s alive! Alive!

I was so relieved I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

A
failure
.

As I relaxed from the terror I’d been feeling, Watanabe’s last words came back to me again. He had been looking down on me all along, using me. He wanted to be a murderer, and he had exploited me to do it. But the girl was still alive. It was Watanabe’s plan that was the
failure.

You’re a failure! You’re a failure and you don’t even know it! You stupid loser.

I’m not sure which came first: Moriguchi’s little girl regaining consciousness and looking up at me…or my letting go and dropping her in the water. But once I’d done it, I left without looking back. My legs weren’t shaking anymore.

I’d succeeded where Watanabe had failed.

My mother was frying eggs and bacon when I went down to the kitchen the next morning. She turned around when she heard me.

“Naoki, something terrible has happened,” she said. The newspaper lay on the table. About halfway down the page, a little headline read: “Four-Year-Old Drowns After Sneaking into Pool Area to Feed Dog.”

Accidental drowning. It was already in the paper. The article said the whole thing had been ruled an accident. So I’d done it!

“I feel so sorry for Moriguchi-sensei,” my mother said. “But I never understood bringing a child to school like that. I wonder what’ll happen to your class, especially since you’ve got final exams in just a few more weeks.… But I almost forgot,” she said. Then she went over to the dish cupboard and took out a box wrapped in red paper and tied with a gold ribbon. She came over and set it down on the newspaper, covering up the article. “Here you are—chocolate for Valentine’s Day.”