Confessions From A Coffee Shop (18 page)

“To find answers.” Her body tensed, and I knew she wouldn’t tell me what answers she sought.

“That’s cool,” I mumbled.

“Cori, you’re still drinking?” My mother had arrived. She didn’t sound overly annoyed, and she even ordered a drink for herself.

“Yep.” I wanted to add that I was looking for answers, but I didn’t want to sleep on the couch, so I kept my mouth shut.

“Well, let’s get a table. I want to pick your brains about something.” Mom informed the bartender we were getting a table and instructed him to bring the drink to us.

“Good luck finding anything in here.” Kat rubbed the top of my head somewhat lovingly; mostly, she looked lost.

I held her hand and we followed Mom to the hostess to request a table. I had eaten nothing but crap all day. I was starving.

“Well, that was informative,” announced my mother as soon as the hostess left us alone.

I started to speak, but stopped when Kat dug her nails into my thigh.

“What did she say?” Kat asked.

That we were, once again, discussing whether or not my father was having an affair disgusted me. Yet I knew there was no way to stop my mother searching for an answer until she was completely satisfied one way or another. It annoyed the hell out of me that she didn’t just ask the man.

“Nothing definitive, actually. But she gave me much to think about.” Mom fiddled with her fork, which was out of character for her.

“Where’s your water?” I sniggered, and Kat whacked my leg under the table.

“In the car. I didn’t want you, the vile non-believer, to touch it.” Mom glared at me. “Are you going to play nice, or do I have to send you home so Kat and I can have an adult conversation.”

Adult conversation. I was the only one at the table who hadn’t lost my fucking mind.

I mimed locking my mouth shut, pretending to throw the invisible key over my shoulder.

“Good.” Mom continued to speak non-stop for the next ten minutes. I tuned her out completely; otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my trap shut.

When I heard her ask Kat about her appointment, I checked back in to the conversation. Laying a supportive hand on my girlfriend’s thigh, I hoped Kat would give me a clue about what was bugging her‌—‌any clue.

“Oh, she gave me much to think about as well.”

That was all she said. Great! Now I had much to think about.

Mom glanced in my direction briefly and looked sympathetic. Maybe I could fish for some information or hints at our next nail appointment.

“You won’t believe this, Nell, but Cori actually admitted she’s not good at opening up.” A devious smile returned to Kat’s face.

“Twenty-eight years and two degrees from Harvard and you’ve finally learned that, Cori.” Mom lifted her marg glass to salute me.

“It seems like I’m not the only one having issues lately.”

Kat’s face fell. Trying, and failing, to hide a look of betrayal, she ran from the table.

“Jesus, Cori. You can be such a jackass when you want to be!”

“Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?” My voice was filled with accusation and guilt.

“Don’t place the blame at my feet. Go after her. Now!” Mom pointed to the exit.

I threw my napkin down on the table and went to seek out Kat, who disappeared around the corner of the restaurant.

She was sitting on a stone bench opposite The Coop, Harvard’s bookstore. Her hands covered her face, and her chest heaved slightly from crying. I sat down heavily beside Kat, wrapping my arms around her. She didn’t fight me, thankfully.

“My mom’s right. I can be a jackass.”

Kat sniffled but didn’t speak.

“I’m afraid I’m not scoring any points with you today, am I?”

She shook her head. Clutching the front of my shirt with one hand, she wiped her nose on my shoulder.

“I just don’t know what’s going on and that scares me,” I whispered.

“Why were you with Sam all day?”

So it was about Samantha. Or was she deflecting? Damn, it was so hard to tell with her.

I inhaled. “Kat, you have nothing to worry about. Samantha needed a friend today. Just a friend. I would say more, but I promised I wouldn’t. Look me in the eye”‌—‌I lifted her chin‌—‌“you need to trust me on this one. Please.”

Kat nodded meekly but unconvincingly. Then, out of the blue, she said, “When I’m ready, I’ll tell you why I went tonight. I need to work‌—‌to figure some stuff out.”

“Can you at least tell me if I need to worry?” I pleaded.

“Not about us. You are a jackass, but you’re my jackass.” There was a hint of a twinkle in her eye, and I kissed her. I meant for it to be a reassuring kiss, but Kat had another idea in mind. Reaching around the back of my head, she pulled me in passionately and slid her tongue into my mouth. Her hands tugged me to her with frenzied desire. Despite not wanting to stop, I knew we had to, especially when catcalls floated from across the alley.

A voice more powerful than a cold shower said, “Get a room you two.” My mother approached, carrying a takeout bag.

“Perfect timing,” I said, mortified.

“I should have waited a few more seconds and seen how far you’d let it go.”

I glowered at her, but she waved my disgust away. “I had them pack up your second dinner. I figured I should take you two home, so you could talk, but it looks like you might want to do the tango instead‌—‌the naked tango. Make-up sex is healthy for a relationship. God knows I try to piss off Dale as much as possible for the payoff.”

“Mother!”

“Don’t act indignant with me. I’m not the one putting on a sex show in the middle of Harvard Square.” She mussed with her hair and checked her makeup in a shop window. “Are you two ready to go?”

As soon as Mom had dropped us off and we entered our front door, Kat grabbed me and forced me up against the door, dropping her water from crazy Kay. Her kiss was passionate, purposeful. I won’t lie: it was fucking hot.

Her tongue explored my mouth, as if searching for something but never quite finding it. Usually, Kat wasn’t into kissing that much, which was one of my laments. Tonight, however, she was all about it. I felt a tingling, warm sensation down below. Yet I wasn’t in a rush. Sometimes, the simple act of kissing is more erotic than fucking.

Without stopping, Kat maneuvered us to the couch. The nights were getting chillier, and I noticed she was shivering. Stopping briefly, I located the fireplace remote and turned it on. When Mom had insisted we install it, I thought it was a waste of money; now I saw its benefit.

Kat brushed a few strands of hair off my face and stared deeply into my eyes. She didn’t speak, but I sensed she wanted to.

“What, honey?”

“What, you?” She laughed and kissed me again. I didn’t push her to speak. There was time for that later.

Unbuttoning my shirt, Kat continued kissing tenderly further and further down my chest. Her fingertips explored my skin, sending currents of desire coursing through me with each touch. A smile crossed her face, and then she said, “You know I love you, right?”

“Of course. And I love you.” Her manner left me uneasy; that is, until she leaned down and removed my jeans completely.

Artificial firelight warmed the room, and Kat placed a blanket down in front of the fireplace. I wanted to feel her skin against mine, and seeing the flames reflecting in her eyes excited me all the more. I frantically grabbed her and stripped her naked, too.

“How come we don’t make love in front of the fireplace more?” she asked. “You obviously like it.” She ran her finger over my clit. “Yes, you really like it.” She licked her finger.

I pulled her closer, kissing her again while rolling her onto her back. I wanted her immediately. Her body arched when I slipped a finger inside her, my tongue still exploring hers as we kissed. Slowly, I eased my finger in and out, keeping Kat in the moment but preventing her from climaxing. We had all night. I wanted to savor each and every moment.

Kat must have sensed my thoughts. She stopped me and reached for the stereo remote. Jazz filtered through the speakers.

I tilted my head to listen. “Is this a new CD?”

“Yeah, Ella Fitzgerald.”

“I like it.”

“How much?” she asked in a teasing voice.

“Let me show you.”

I ran my hands over her body, then took one of her nipples in my mouth and bit it gently. Its sudden hardness inspired a surge of my own wetness down below.

Kat raised her hip against my crotch. “I love how wet I make you,” she whispered breathily.

“Only you have ever made me feel this alive.”

She pulled my head up to hers and gazed at me with such fervor that I felt somewhat stunned. “Tell me you’ll never stop loving me, no matter what.” Her voice was firm, desperate even.

“Never, Kat. I never want to be with another person.”

Ella’s song, “If You Should Ever Leave” started to play. I stroked Kat’s cheek. “I love you, and only you.”

That got her going. Before I knew it, I was on my back and Kat was inside me, her fingers thrusting in and out. Her smoldering look forced me to focus my eyes on her beautiful gray ones. She pushed in deeper. There was no fighting it; I was close to coming.

“Kiss me while I come,” I pleaded.

“Anything you want, darling.”

Light flashed, exploding behind my eyes, and Kat held her mouth to mine as my body writhed in ecstasy. Kat plunged her fingers in deeper, and stayed. Wrapping my legs around her, I felt my juices flooding out. I came not once, but twice‌—‌all the while savoring Kat’s fervent kisses. It topped all of my other orgasms with her, or with anyone else, for that matter.

The sensations stilled after several minutes, but Kat still lay on top of me, exhausted.

“That was amazing.” I breathed in her sensual fragrance.

Louis Armstrong’s gravelly voice joined Ella’s on the CD. “What song is this?” I asked.

She craned her neck, waiting for the lyrics. “‘Gee, Baby, Ain’t I Good To You.’ Do you like it?”

“Yes.”

She nestled her head back against my chest, and I ran my hand down her back.

“We should play it at our wedding,” I said.

Kat sucked in a deep breath. So big that I thought for sure she wasn’t happy. We had never talked about getting married.

“Wedding?” The word sounded as if it had come from the other side of the room.

“Forget I said it,” I murmured, not wanting to ruin the mood.

She rolled off me and propped herself up on one elbow.

“What if I don’t want to forget it?” she whispered, casually playing with one of my nipples.”

“What do you mean?” Nervousness seemed to crest within me.

“I didn’t think you ever thought of it‌—‌getting married, I mean.” Kat stilled her hand, resting it on my heart. I thought for sure she could hear it fluttering like mad. I imagined it looked like a bee trapped in a pop can, desperately seeking a way out.

I laughed, unsure what to say. “To be honest, I hadn’t before. But, now… here…‌I want it.”

Kat didn’t speak for several seconds.

The pregnant pause stilled my breathing until, finally, she broke the uncomfortable silence.

“I do too,” she said. “Just not yet.”

I let out a relieved sigh. “Deal. Besides, I need some time to come up with a romantic way to ask.”

Kat slapped my stomach. “Like you would ever do that.”

I rolled over on my side and cradled her head in my hands. “Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe.” She gave a sexy little laugh.

“Just you wait. I plan to sweep you off your feet.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it. The practical Cori Tisdale getting in touch with her inner romantic …” She threw me a disbelieving look.

“You forget, Kat, that I’m a British lit teacher. Romance abounds in those novels.”

“What are you going to do, study
Pride and Prejudice
to come up with ideas? Then again, you are a lot like Mr. Darcy: opinionated, stuck-up, and stubborn.” She grinned.

“I can’t believe you said that.” I pinned her down, and started to tickle her.

“Stop!” She squirmed under me.

“Take it back,” I teased, not letting up.

“Never.” Kat continued to wriggle. She had never looked more beautiful.

I stopped tickling and made love to her. And we didn’t stop until I had to get up to shower for work.

By the time I was ready to leave for the coffee shop, Kat was sound asleep on the floor in front of the fire. I covered her with our comforter, kissed her forehead. Pausing to admire her exquisite face, I whispered, “I never want you to doubt me.”

Her eyes flashed open. “Ditto.”

“Not a chance in hell.”

“Never forget you said that.”

I sealed my promise with a kiss. “Get some rest, beautiful.”

* * *

Work was painful. My head was throbbing and I felt nauseated, but it also seemed that everyone in the Financial District had called in sick‌—‌or maybe it was the shitty economy. Every once in a while, a customer would come in, but there was nothing else to make the time pass more quickly. Harold jibber-jabbered about Amber, and I did my best to act excited for him. He was quickly falling head over heels in love. Or was it lust? Mostly, I just wanted my shift to end.

I texted Mom, asking her to meet me for lunch in the café of Neptune’s bookstore, on Newbury Street.

When I received a rapid “
yes
,” I wondered if her cell phone was permanently attached to her hand. Maybe she was blogging. Was that even the right word? It sounded so crass.

Arriving a few minutes early at Neptune’s, I grabbed a table in the back. It would be harder for Mom to find me, but I was hoping it would be quieter. Those hopes were dashed when two giggling women sat at the table nearest to mine.

I glared at them.

They ignored me.

Maybe they were unable to see my eyes through my dark sunglasses. Why in the world had I consumed so much alcohol yesterday? I rubbed my throbbing temples.

“I’m surprised you’re even out of bed,” Mom said, taking a seat across from me.

“Had an early shift this morning,” I grumbled.

“Did you invite me here to yell at me?” She crossed her arms.

“What? Why?” I poured some sugar into the coffee I had ordered, and the waitress waited for Mom’s order, tapping her pencil on her notebook. Her hair was frizzled and matted into dreads, and from the looks of her, she hardly showered. I eyed her warily. How skuzzy people were able get jobs serving food always baffled me.