Confessions From A Coffee Shop (24 page)

Kat laughed and wiped her nose with her shirtsleeve. “Nothing says romance like a cemetery.”

“In my defense, it’s a beautiful cemetery.” I nestled my head on top of hers.

“You really didn’t know Sam was in Salem?”

I sighed in frustration. “I really didn’t know. I should have guessed Lucy was from a weird place, but no, I didn’t know we would run into them. Please you can’t keep questioning my friendship with Sam. I know you and Harold spend a lot of time together.”

“Harold! You can’t possibly be jealous of Harold!” She chuckled.

“No, but I imagine you two talk about things you don’t tell me. That’s what friends are for.”

She looked away guiltily. I’d said it just to prove a point, but it made me wonder why she was confiding in Harold and not me. “What do you and Harold talk about?”

“You would never want to hear it.” She winked, but I could tell she wasn’t completely comfortable. “Let’s just say Harold has a lot of questions about things he’s seen in movies.”

“You mean porn.”

“I think Harold’s a virgin.”

“Get out. I mean, I suspected, but still, he’s twenty-seven. Does he have a crush on you?”

“Yes, I think he does. But I think he’s really falling for this Amber chick.” Kat’s face twisted into a smile.

“Really? He doesn’t talk much about her at work. At first he did, but not lately.”

“Tough guys don’t talk to the other dudes. And you, Cori, are one of his dudes. He asked me if I could talk him through his first time.” Kat slapped her thigh and chortled.

“You mean, be in the room.”

“Oh no. That’s not his style. He wants us to have those earpiece things FBI agents use so I can whisper in his ear what to do next. Harold actually wants me to watch him and give him pointers. He’s terrified. They haven’t even kissed yet.”

“You’re making this up.” I was laughing so hard my sides started to hurt. “Since we’re being honest, what do you and my mother talk about?”

“Oh, that you’ll never know.” She winked at me.

Chapter Thirteen

When I left Beantown Café, I was in an extra good mood. The Red Sox had won another World Series. More importantly, I had put in my two weeks’ notice, and I meant never to go back after my final shift‌—‌not even as a customer. I only had four shifts scheduled over the next two weeks. I was almost home free. Time to celebrate with my stunning girlfriend.

I’d already texted her, inviting her to dinner. Kat had readily agreed and said she had a surprise for me. I envisioned her popping out of a cake, naked.

I didn’t foresee showing up at the restaurant to find out Kat had planned a “Cori is ditching Beantown” party. And she had invited Sam.

When I saw Sam’s bright eyes, I felt guilty that I was getting my shit together while she was still unemployed. Kat didn’t plan it that way, I’m sure. At least I hoped. Kat was never the vindictive type, and now that she knew the whole truth, I’m sure the thought didn’t cross her mind. But I was still surprised to see Sam there.

Walking up to the table, I couldn’t hide my excitement. Yes I felt guilty about Sam, but it felt damn good to finally tell Beantown Café to shove it‌—‌hopefully for good. Kat threw her arms around me while Harold and Sam stood there grinning like fools. Sam was a good friend, and not the type to let her own situation put the damper on my mood.

When Kat released me, Harold shook my hand. “I’ll miss you, Cori, but Kat assures me I’ll see you more now that you won’t be working all the time.”

“I hope so. It’ll be nice to get some sleep as well.”

Sam eagerly threw her arms around my neck. “Congrats!” She didn’t say anything else, but her hug was sincere.

I looked at Kat sheepishly while Sam hugged me, relieved to see not a trace of jealousy in Kat’s eyes.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and was stunned to see Lucy and Amber. At first, I was puzzled as to why Kat had invited Lucy. Amber, Harold’s girlfriend, I understood. But Lucy? I barely knew the girl, and vice versa. Why would she give two shits that I was leaving the coffee shop?

Since it was a Monday night, we had the entire back room of the restaurant to ourselves. The front of the joint only had one couple anyway. Good thing. The alcohol never stopped flowing. Even Harold found a drink he could tolerate: vodka mixed with grape Fanta. It wasn’t a manly drink, and I had to chuckle to see Amber drinking a beer while her man had a “kid’s” drink.

Everyone was in an excellent mood, and it was fantastic to feel free. I hadn’t felt this good in a long, long time.

“Now I hope everyone saved room for dessert, because I ordered a cake especially for this occasion.” Kat rose and tracked down our waiter. When she returned, the waiter carried a sheet cake lit up with sparklers. I felt like a giddy five-year-old on my birthday.

The waiter set the cake down in the middle of the table and hurried away. I saw writing on the cake, but couldn’t inspect it too closely, since the sparklers were going off like it was the Fourth of July.

Kat tapped her wineglass with her knife. “Before we dig in, I have a couple of things I want to say. First, Cori, congrats on quitting Beantown Café. I know how much you hated that job. Second”‌—‌she turned to Samantha and my heart stopped‌—‌“I found out this morning, that congratulations are in order for you, Sam.” Kat paused and glanced in my direction before looking back to Samantha. “Maybe Lucy wasn’t supposed to let the cat out of the bag, but she did. You are now a director at Boston Mutual.”

Sam’s face flooded with color, and Lucy stood on her tippy toes to place a sweet kiss on Samantha’s cheek.

I stood there in complete shock. The entire night I had felt somewhat guilty, but to learn that Sam had landed on her feet and hadn’t told me…‌no text or anything.

Maybe Sam sensed my thoughts. “I didn’t want to say anything earlier, since this is Cori’s night,” she spoke up, staring into my eyes. “I found out this morning and told Lucy.” Sam waggled a finger in Lucy’s face. “I told her to keep it a secret.”

Lucy flushed and confessed, “I’m sorry, but Kat has a way of getting me to spill secrets.” She said it so confidently that it shocked the hell out of me.

Turning to me, Lucy added, “Cori, I bet she weasels everything out of you even before you know you have a secret.” She raised her glass in my honor.

“Now, don’t make me sound like a crazy girlfriend, Lucy.” Kat placed her hand on Lucy’s shoulder and whispered something in her ear. “But speaking of secrets,” she said aloud. “I hope everyone is liquored up enough‌—‌Harold, how’s the vodka treating you?”

Harold chirped, “Good.” Then he hiccupped, getting a laugh out of the group.

“Alrighty, then. I have a game for us to play. Everyone has to whisper a secret to every guest here tonight. I promise not to weasel any of the secrets out.” Kat leaned close to Samantha and whispered something in her ear. Sam’s face paled completely and then flooded with color. I didn’t want to know what Kat had said.

Samantha approached me, a silly grin on her face. “I’m not wearing any underwear,” she whispered. Before I could respond, she moved on to Harold. I’m assuming she said the same thing, since Harold immediately looked eagerly down at her crotch. Did he expect her jeans to fly off magically?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kat share her secret with Lucy, and again I wondered what was said. Lucy didn’t blush. Instead, she looked more confident and winked at Sam. Sam did a double take and then whispered into Amber’s ear. Amber looked at Samantha’s crotch, too.

“Now, I do believe Samantha is telling the same secret to everyone,” I teased.

Sam strutted around the table and stood next to Lucy. “You’ll never know, Cori. No one is allowed to spill the beans.”

“She says she’s not wearing underwear,” declared Harold, who then hid behind Amber.

“That’s not a great secret. Neither am I,” said Kat.

“Me neither.”

I stared at Lucy in awe.

“Or me.” Amber joined the fun.

Harold tried to peek down her jeans, but she swatted his hand away. “Not now. Later.”

The look on Harold’s face was priceless: both thrilled and terrified. I hoped Kat had already given him the birds and the bees talk and demonstrated how to do it using dolls.

To deflect the attention from Harold, Kat piped up. “What did Cori share?”

All eyes were on me. “I don’t believe she’s shared a secret with anyone,” declared Sam.

I stuck my tongue out at Sam, who had ratted on me.

“I think, as punishment, Cori has to share one secret aloud to the entire group.” My girlfriend looked pleased with herself at that.

I sucked in some air. “That’s not fair, everyone else just said they aren’t wearing underwear.”

“How do you know it’s not true?” asked Kat.

“It’s hard to believe that four out of six of us aren’t wearing any.”

“Five,” Harold said.

“Fine, five. If you can prove it, I’ll share a juicy bit of gossip.” I felt confident and flashed Kat a wicked smile.

“Deal. Will everyone confirm for Cori that their partner isn’t lying? Harold is Amber wearing underwear?”

Amber pulled her jeans far enough away, and the look in Harold’s eye told me she was definitely going commando. It didn’t take long for everyone to report that I was the only one with any decency.

“Why do I have a distinct feeling my girlfriend set me up?” I glared at Kat, who feigned hurt.

“Secret, secret, secret …” Sam chanted. Everyone else joined in.

“Okay. I’m not wearing any underwear,” I said.

“Liar!” Kat rushed over and ran her hand down my backside. Then she yanked my panties up, giving me a painful wedgie. “Now you have to confess two secrets.”

“You can’t just change the rules!” I cried.

“Cori, when will you realize I’m always in charge?” Kat strutted off to rejoin the group, by now all chanting “secret, secret” again. Then Kat blurted out, “Spill it, Ace.”

There was no way out of this mess. Kat’s veiled threat was clear. Would she possibly tell the group I liked it when she licked my butt? No. She wouldn’t, would she?

Kat’s smile told me she knew she had me in a corner.

Gritting my teeth, I revealed, “When I was in the third grade, I peed my pants in the playground.”

Sam guffawed and covered her mouth with her hand. After a few seconds, she got control of herself and asked: “Is that why your nickname in high school was Pissdale?”

“I never clarified with those who called me that, but that would be my guess,” I reluctantly agreed.

“Good thing no one at Beantown Café found out. They would probably come up with worse names. And I thought Harry Pooper was bad,” said Harold.

“You know they call you that?” I asked.

“Of course,” he said, without a trace of annoyance in his voice.

“And it doesn’t bother you?” I pushed.

“Not at all. Really, Cori, why would I care about those miscreants? They’re going nowhere with their lives. I have 10,000 Twitter followers.” He puffed out his chest like a warrior who had just slain a dragon.

I had to hold in a laugh. Twitter followers. He judged his self-worth by the number of Twitter followers he had.

Kat winked, telling me not to say anything and to just let Harold enjoy his moment. It was important to him. I had recently signed up to follow his tweets, and I was secretly impressed by how many of his fans interacted with him. He was like a literary tweeting rock star. Even Neil Gaiman tweeted him.

“All right, missy. That’s one secret. What’s the other?” demanded Lucy. I was blown away by her confidence. Had Kat put something in her drink?

“I have a tattoo that only one person has seen, and she’s in this room.” I stared defiantly at Kat. She knew I was lying, and I wanted to see what she would say.

“No way!” shouted Sam.

Amber eyed me doubtfully, but she didn’t seem all that interested either. Maybe she was still impressed by the number of Harold’s Twitter followers.

“I want to see proof,” shouted Harold before swigging the rest of his vodka and grape Fanta. It was hard to take his swigging seriously when he was essentially drinking a glorified kid’s drink.

Kat was speechless. She looked from me to Harold and then to Sam. She had put me on the spot, so I figured turnabout was fair play.

“She’s not lying,” Kat finally said.

I let out a victorious laugh and stifled a silent sigh of relief. I had no idea why I lied, but I wasn’t good at sharing secrets, and I didn’t like that Kat had tried to make me give out two. Maybe she sensed she had pushed me too far.

I wish I had lied about the peeing my pants one, too, but sadly that was true. I had forgotten the hateful Pissdale nickname, or pushed it out of my head.

Sam looked at me, impressed. “What’s it of?”

“Ah …” Nothing cool came to mind.

“A heart,” said Kat, her way of getting even. She allowed me to pretend I had a tattoo, but she wouldn’t allow me to have a kickass tattoo. I admired her move.

“Does it have a dagger through it?” Sam tried to help me amp up the cool factor.

“Nope.” Kat responded before I could.

Laughing, I gave Kat a kiss and then whisked her away from the group briefly. When we were far enough away, I asked her, “Do you want to tell me what that was about‌—‌the whole secret bullshit?”

“I’m working on something.”

“What? Embarrassing the shit out of me.”

“Couldn’t you come up with a better secret than I pissed my pants? Seriously, Cori. I let you get away with the tattoo one.”

“Very funny. Now tell me what you’re up to.”

Kat crossed her arms. For a moment, I wondered if she would actually spill. Then she put her palms up. “All right, but only because you were a good sport. I’m trying to get Lucy and Sam back together. My secret to both of them was that the other was still madly in love with them.” She glanced back to the group. “From the looks of it, I think my plan is working.”

I followed her gaze and watched Lucy flick a flag of hair off Sam’s cheek. The gesture was brief, but it was full of tenderness.

Smiling, I turned to Kat. “I guess my embarrassment was worth it, then.”

“How in the hell did you piss your pants?” Kat scoffed.