Confessions of a Mail Order Bride - Complete (28 page)

As I turned the key in my apartment door lock, I couldn’t help but think of Dirk again. After roadside assistance had given me a jump, I’d had an easy drive back to Pennsylvania. Of course he’d occupied my mind the entire time. It felt so good to be with him. I had enjoyed getting to know him personally…and physically, he drove me wild with desire. He seemed to feel the same way about me. Even though our intimacy had been interrupted, I knew we would get together soon and being with him would be mind-blowing. I was floating as I opened my door and walked into the living room.

“Ava, where’ve you been?”

I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard his voice—Lance Murphy! “What the hell! What are you doing here? How did you get in my house?”

Lance skulked out from behind the bedroom door. “I was here waiting for you all night, Ava. Where were you?”

“What business is it of yours?” I retorted.

“Hmm, you look pretty sloppy, Ava. Your hair’s a mess,” Lance walked close to me.

I flinched as he tried to stroke my hair with his fingers.

“Your makeup’s smudged too. Why, Ava, it looks like you spent the night with someone?”

I shook my head. “What I do and who I do it with is none of your damn business!”

Lance laughed. “He was probably just another one of your fuck buddies. Did he give you drugs? Or maybe he paid you to sleep with him.”

“I told you Lance, I’m clean,” I felt my face flush. When I hit rock bottom, I’d exchanged sex for drugs. It had only happened once, but it was something I was not proud of. I’d made the mistake of telling Lance about it.

“No! He did not give me drugs…not even. He’s…he’s a sheriff.

“A sheriff, yeah right,” Lance snorted.

“Yes. Dirk Matthews. He’s the sheriff of Shifter Villages.”

Lance arched his brow, “now what would an officer of the law want with a girl like you?” he said, sticking out his tongue and wiggling it. “Maybe he likes your pierced tongue?”

“Fuck you, Lance. Mind your own business and get the hell out of my apartment!” I cried out. I knew I’d taken away Lance’s keys to my place. He must have had an extra copy made.

“Ava, Ava…what is the matter with you. Of course it’s my business. I love you. You’re my woman.”

“Lance, I told you we were through. Now give me the key and get the hell out!”

Lance chuckled, “I think not.”

“I think so,” I said firmly, glaring at him.

“Look what I got here for you and me to share,” Lance held up a small black bag. I could just guess what was in it.

In the old days I wouldn’t have hesitated to take whatever drugs I could get and find the escape that I was looking for. Not anymore. “I said I’m clean and I meant it. I’m not into that shit anymore. Now get out.”

Lance frowned. He reached out, trying to grab my arm. “Come on, babe.”

“Did you listen to me? I just said I was clean. I’m not interested in you or your drugs. Now get the fuck out of my apartment,” I jerked his hand away from my arm, pointing to the door.

Lance’s eyes narrowed. “So, you’re all cleaned up, dating a sheriff, and now you think you’re special, huh?”

I gritted my teeth but didn’t say anything. He wasn’t worth arguing with.

“Fucking bitch, you think you’re too good for me? Well, let me tell you something. You’re nothing but a drug-addicted slut. Maybe you’re clean right now, but it won’t be long before you’re banging on my door, offering your pussy in exchange for whatever I got,” Lance held up the bag, dangling it in the air.

That was it! I shook my head, screaming at him. “Get the fuck out of my apartment
now
! I’ll call the cops!”

Lance sneered at me and stepped closer. He gave the tattoo on the side of my neck a quick slap. “Those are my initials on your neck, bitch. That means you’re mine. No other man is going to want you, and that includes your sheriff.”

I rubbed the side of my neck. How dare he tell me no man would ever want me?

I was shaking as I yanked open the door. “Leave!”

“Ok, I’ll go. But you know where to find me,” Lance said as he ambled towards the door.

“Just get out!”

Lance walked partially through the doorway and then turned back towards me. “Do you really think a sheriff is going to want a girl like you—a girl who’s been in jail? A girl who fucks men for drugs? I might just have to pay a visit to Shifter Villages and let him know what kind of girl you really are. Just wait till he finds that shit out! He’s gonna use you and dump you. Where will you be then, Ms. High and Mighty?”

“Dirk knows I tried drugs. He knows I went to jail and he knows I’m clean now.” I shouted, “He likes me anyway!”

“And do you think the people in the town will ever accept you as the Sheriff’s wife?” Dirk sneered. “Ha!”

I shoved Lance the rest of the way out the door, slamming it shut. Pressing my back up against it, I slid down the length of it and into a heap on the floor.

How dare Lance Murphy say those things? How dare he? I blinked back tears. I knew Dirk really liked me. He wouldn’t use a girl. What we had together was real—wasn’t it? But what if it wasn’t? What if Dirk was just planning to use me for sex? Dirk was a gorgeous man in a powerful position. He could have his pick of women anywhere. Maybe there weren’t a lot of women in Shifter Villages, but there were plenty to choose from on the ‘Luscious Lads and Ladies’ site—and he’d chosen me. But then I remembered he hadn’t actually seen my photo. Vic had been experimenting with blind online match making. Dirk had picked me based on a short blurb. I thought back and remembered the surprised expression on Dirk’s face when we’d met face to face in the park. Maybe he just thought he would use me for an easy lay.

And what if he really did like me? What then? Lance was right. I was the wrong kind of girl for him. I had been in jail, into drugs, and worse. Dirk was a good man. He volunteered and built homes for the homeless. He worked to keep his community safe. I knew Dirk loved his job and took it seriously. Dirk was already being targeted by the person setting the fires, and some of the villagers were angry that he had not solved the case yet. How would the townspeople react if their trusted sheriff hooked up with a woman like me?

“Like this. I want to look just like this,” the woman perched in the chair at my makeup counter said. She pointed to a picture she was holding of a young pop star who was at least 20 years her junior, fair-skinned with plump lips, big eyes, and blonde hair.

I gazed at the thin-lipped woman in the chair. She had olive skin and dark hair. She was attractive; but much older, and had coloring the total opposite of the celebrity in the photo she was holding.

“I’m Ava, what’s your name?” I asked. It always helped with sales to be on a first name basis with the customers.

“Lara,” she responded. “Do you think you can help me look like this?”

“Lara, you are a lovely woman. Why don’t we enhance what
you
have and bring out the beautiful shade of your warm brown eyes?”

“Just get me as close to this as you can.”

I sighed. This was crazy. Here she was, trying to look like almost the total opposite of herself. But I was used to it. I’d had women tell me they liked a ‘natural look’ even though they were wearing layers of makeup. Women that said they wanted something simple and then bought out the entire line. It was sheer lunacy.

“Ava,” a deep voice growled from behind me.

My heart jumped as the voice registered in my brain. “What are you doing here?” The last person I expected to see at the makeup counter was Dirk. What was he doing in Pennsylvania? I turned around to face him. His handsome face was strained and I could see the tension in his body as he leaned towards me.

“What do you think I’m doing?” Dirk gave me an intense stare, his dark eyes narrowing. “I came here to find you. I need to know what the hell is going on!”

Lara, looked from Dirk to me and back again. I couldn’t imagine what she was thinking.

“I told you, Dirk, we’re just not right for each other.”

“Why? Tell me why?”

“You’re just not my type.” My heart was aching inside. I wanted to reach out and touch him so badly, but my mind went back to what Lance had said. Things were already rough for Dirk in Shifter Villages. Hooking up with an ex-druggie, ex-jailbird like me would make matters even worse. The townspeople would never accept me.

“I don’t know,” I said, turning my back to him. “You’re just not.”

“Ava,” Dirk gripped my arm. “Look at me.”

Reluctantly, I turned towards him. He firmly but gently cupped my chin so I was staring into his eyes. It was painful to see the bewilderment he was experiencing.

“Is he hurting you?” Lara asked.

“No…no…I’m ok,” I responded. I glanced at my watch. My shift was over in fifteen minutes. “Dawn…” I called out to another makeup consultant. “Can you please help Lara find her perfect look? I need to leave a few minutes early today.”

“Sure, Ava,” Dawn replied as she moved in to help Lara. “I’m happy to make you even more beautiful. I have this special product that will really make your eyes pop.”

Lara smiled, pointing at the picture in her hand. “Can you help me look like this?”

“Pretty close,” Dawn said, grinning. She gave me a wink, glanced at Dirk, and back at me again. “Have fun with Mr. Hotness,” she whispered.

I nodded my head at Dirk. “I just have to clock out. I’ll meet you at the food court in about ten minutes. It’s at the center of the mall. Meet me near Austin’s Pizzeria.” After Dirk left, I turned back to Lara, who was sitting in the chair. “Dawn will take good care of you. Thanks Dawn,” I added, tapping my co-worker lightly on the back. I gathered my things and went to the back of the department store to clock out. My mind was whirling, but I knew what I had to do.

Walking over to the pizzeria, I’d decided I was going to tell Dirk I just wasn’t interested and leave it at that. There would be no discussion. I didn’t want my resolve to weaken. As I neared the food court, I could see Dirk pacing anxiously back and forth along the small open area near the restaurants. I squared my shoulders. This wasn’t going to be easy.

“Ava!” Dirk called out as he spotted me. “What the hell is going on?” he said, sounding upset, and walked over so he was standing next to me.

He looked so handsome but noticeably tired. Thin lines stretched across his forehead and his mouth was creased tight. I wanted to reach out and rub his shoulders, hug him and make him feel good. 
Stop Ava
!
I scolded myself. Do what needs to be done.

“Dirk,” I said softly, “You are a great guy but you’re just not my type. We’re from two different worlds—two very different worlds.”

Dirk shook his head. “I just don’t get it. I felt this strong connection with you.”

Dirk cupped my chin and lifted it. His cocoa brown eyes held mine, refusing to let them go. “I know you felt it, too.”

I felt like melting in a puddle. I wanted him so badly but I knew I couldn’t do that to him…I wasn’t the best woman for him. “Dirk, please…please don’t make this hard.”

“Ava…” Dirk’s forehead creased. “I need to know what’s going on
now
! Look, let’s at least sit down and talk about this.”

He noticed my hesitation. “
Please, Ava
,” he begged.

I nodded, sighing aloud.

Dirk led me over to a seat near the corner of the pizzeria and we slid into the white plastic chairs.

“Alright, you and I…” I looked at Dirk, “again, we’re from two different worlds. You’re an officer of the law. You’re a sheriff.  Like I told you, I’ve been addicted to drugs. I was in jail for a while.”

“So,” Dirk raised his brows. “You’re clean now right?”

“Well…yeah…but”

“And you’re standing here, so you’re obviously not in jail.”

I sucked in my breath. “I’m ashamed to say I even exchanged sex for drugs once.”

Dirk brows furrowed. “Would you ever do that again?”

“No…Never…”

“Well…? What’s the problem then?”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re missing the point.”

“Tell me, Ava, what point am I missing? You’re here, you’re clean. We like one another—more than like one another… What am I missing?”

“It’s not just you. How are the townspeople going to accept someone like me? They would be shocked if the sheriff hooked up with…with a former druggie who served time. I’m so afraid that down the road you would resent me because I…”

“You think too much, Ava.” Dirk growled.

Before I had a chance to respond, Dirk pulled me towards him and kissed me—a hard, deep kiss filled with desire and passion. What could I do but kiss him back?

“The townspeople will accept me for what I am and for whatever decisions I make. My question is—will you?” Dirk studied me. “Will you
please
accept me for who I am and let me accept you for who you are?”

“Well, I…” I was still reeling from his kiss. It had left me filled with need and lust…but I had to be fair to Dirk.

“I want you, Ava. I knew it the moment I turned around and saw you walking towards me in the park.” Dirk glanced at my hair for a second. “I think your purple hair sealed the deal.”

Though I was feeling totally confused, I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m thinking of dying my hair orange.”

Dirk grinned. “Orange is one of my favorite colors.”

Suddenly, his face clouded over as his eyes looked past me.

“Orange… huh? That will ma…match the color of the prison unifim…unifor…uniform you used to wear.”

“Lance!” I couldn’t believe it. Despite his slurred speech, I’d recognize that voice anywhere. I turned to see my ex standing next to us, a sick smile running across his face. It was obvious he was strung out. His face was moist with perspiration and it looked like he was going to pass out.

Dirk’s brows widened. “Who the hell are you?”

“Dirk, this is Lance Murphy, my
ex
-boyfriend.” I turned back to Lance. “How did you know I was here?” I demanded to know. My co-worker Dawn knew Lance and I were on the outs. She would never tell him.

I went looking for you at the makeup counter. Dawn said she didn’t know where you were, but some lady getting her makeup done told me she heard you say you were going to Austin’s Pizzeria at the food court. I think she thought
he
might hurt you.” Lance’s upper lip curled in a sneer as he pointed towards Dirk. “She asked me if I thought she looked like a pop star, too. What kind of bull shit are you feeding your customers?”

“Just leave me alone, Lance.” How had I ever dated this creeper?

“Did you tell him you were an ex-con, Ava?”

Dirk narrowed his eyes and stood up. “I don’t know what your game is buddy, but she asked you to leave…now go!” Dirk was a big man and he towered over Lance. He could probably knock Lance out with one punch, but Lance was so strung out it didn’t bother him.

Lance glanced at Dirk. His eyes were glazed over and it was obvious he had no clue what he was saying or doing. “I understand you’re a cop. You gonna arrest me if I don’t leave?” Lance started to sway, then yelled out loudly, “so, are you going to arrest me?”

A number of people in the food court turned to stare at Lance as he tried to keep his balance. Just as he was about to fall, Dirk caught him.

“I think we’re going to get you some help, buddy. Come on…” He sat Lance down in a chair and called 911. It was obvious that Dirk was not happy with Lance, but I had to admire the way he handled him. As a police officer he was used to managing all kinds of people. It made me respect him even more. He was kind, but firm.

“We will get you some help, Lance.” He turned to me. “He’ll probably go into rehab for a while. I’m going to get a restraining order against him also. I don’t want him near you.”

Lance gazed up from the chair. “She’s always gonna be near me,” he gloated as he rubbed his neck, “I branded her.”

~ * ~

“I admit, it’s just hard for me.” I was sitting on the edge of the sofa in my apartment with Dirk. After the police arrived and took Lance away, Dirk and I had gone back to my place so we could talk privately. “I mean, look at you, Dirk. You’re a police officer. You help others. The people in Shifter Villages love and respect you. I’ve been in jail…I…”

Dirk grabbed my hands. “Ava, I care about you. I want to be with you. That’s all that matters. But I can tell you, I know the townspeople will love you, too.”

I closed my eyes. Maybe it was time I truly tried to accept myself. Sure, I’d made mistakes in the past, but did I have to constantly rewind them in my head? I had a gorgeous shifter in front of me who said he cared about me—and I believed him. Did I have to let my fears about what I thought people would think about me and what I’d done before hold me back? Suddenly, it was like a weight had lifted from my mind. I decided I was going to go for this, for what I truly wanted, without fear. I was going to be all in.

“You were right earlier, Dirk. I feel a strong connection with you too—more than strong…overpowering almost. I admit, I was stuck in my head. But I think…”

“…we were meant to be together.” Dirk nodded his head, his eyes filled with love.

“Yes, we are,” I said softly.

“Come here,” Dirk pulled me from the sofa into his lap. “I want to show you exactly how I feel.”

He cuddled me and leaned into me, kissing me, his tongue wet and rough.

His kisses felt amazing but I couldn’t resist. “Is that the best you can do to show me how you feel?” I teased.

He cocked his brow and grinned. In one swift motion, he stood up, holding me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, enjoying the way his body felt against mine. I loved the way he could easily pick me up like I was as light as a feather. He walked towards a door, kicking it open with his foot.

“That’s the bathroom,” I smiled, stifling a laugh.

“Which way is it to the bedroom?” he growled.

I pointed towards the correct room and he swiftly carried me inside. My heart was racing.

“God, I want you Ava,” he groaned, his mouth smothering mine with kisses.

“I need you Dirk. You’ve got me dripping wet,” I said boldly, not leaving any confusion as to my desires.

Dirk’s eyes widened in surprise at my bluntness, but I was not going to be shy now. Once I’d made the decision to be all in, I was not going to be Ms. Conservative. I was going to be me; the woman who defied society by doing the things I wanted to do. Hey, maybe I’d made some mistakes along the way, but that was not going to define me now. I was ready to move on and head into my future and that included being with Dirk—in every way.

“Fuck, babe. Do you know what you do to me?”

Dirk nibbled at my neck, placed me down on the bed, and stood back up. I wanted him so badly.

“Show me,” I demanded.

I sat up on the bed as Dirk stripped his shirt off. I couldn’t help but marvel at how firm and muscular his chest was. The tribal tat weaving its way along his side and the words inked into his chest were a beautiful punctuation to it all. Dirk pulled me up and pressed me next to his hard, ripped chest. My tongue hungrily sought out the colors in his tattoo, following the swirls and curves that caressed his body.

“Mmm, that’s so good,” he groaned, arching his neck backwards as he ran his fingers through my hair. I continued to lick and enjoy his smooth, warm skin.

I was aching, just aching to taste his cock. I slid my hands down to his denims and unzipped them quickly, I couldn’t wait to see his dick up close and lick it. Dirk gave me a devilish grin, pulling his jeans off the rest of the way. I could see the outline of his huge cock pressing against his boxers. It was thick and hard, and I started to salivate, imagining his firmness pressing against the soft palate of my mouth.

“I want to taste you.” I swallowed as he yanked down his boxers. His shaft was everything I imagined—thick, veiny, massive…utterly delicious looking.

“You’ll make me blow my load, babe,” Dirk grunted. “God I want you to suck me so bad.”

Mmmm. I couldn’t wait to make him come in my mouth so I could suck up every delicious drop of him. I moved my head towards his cock but he gently pushed me back onto the bed. “But I wanna taste you first.”

I helped him pull off my shirt and pants, and in minutes I was down to nothing but a sheer pair of striped bikini panties.

“God, you’re so wet,” Dirk growled as he pulled them off. He slowly slid one thick finger into my folds, and I let a soft squeal of pleasure.

His touch drove me crazy. He started to slowly finger me, making my pussy cream with need. I wanted to feel his tongue there. I bucked my hips so my pussy was closer to his face.

“Damn! You’re beautiful, baby,” he moaned.

He leaned his face in close and grabbed my ass with his hands, cupping the cheeks so he had full access to my pussy.

I screamed as his tongue glided against my slit. He slurped up and down, savoring every inch of my folds.

“God, you taste so good.”

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” I grabbed his thick hair and tugged on the strands, crying out with pleasure. The tension in my body was so crazy I could hardly stand it.

“You couldn’t get me to stop, you taste so fucking good,” he growled through heavy breaths as his tongue explored every crevice.

Then, he zeroed in on my clit, nibbling and licking. I couldn’t hold back any longer. My fingers curled into the mattress, clutching it as an earth shattering, powerful orgasm ran through my body.

But Dirk didn’t stop. He kept lapping and sucking…my juices were flowing. I bucked again and again against his mouth as he ate me up. It felt so good but I wanted to feel him deep inside me.

“Fuck me, Dirk. I need you to fuck me.”

He climbed on top of me. “Mmmm, baby…I’m going to fuck you so hard you aren’t going to be able to see straight. I want to feel every inch of that tight, hot little pussy around my cock. I’m going to make you come so good you won’t be able to walk for a week.”

“Oh my God!” I cried. God, he was so fucking hot and I was on fire. I couldn’t wait to feel his thick shaft in me. “Now Dirk, fuck me. Please fuck me!” I yelled out.

Dirk thrust his huge cock into me in one fell swoop. “Oh my God!” I screamed. His shaft was so big…it was hard to take but at the same time, it felt so good…it fit so right inside of me. His balls slapped against my thighs as he plunged his dick into me, over and over again, filling me totally. I could feel myself on the verge of coming again. 

Dirk leaned in, his hot breath against my neck. “I want you to be mine forever, Ava.”

“I…I want to be yours…” I could barely get the words out, “forever.”

As I said it, I could feel Dirk’s cock exploding, his cum flowing deep inside of me, and I let my pussy go, crashing into the most explosive, powerful orgasm I had ever felt in my life.

At that instant, Dirk bit me…a long, hard bite on the neck.

I screamed out in pain and ecstasy. “
Oh my God, Dirk
!”