Confessions of a Scoundrel (25 page)
Read Confessions of a Scoundrel Online
Authors: Karen Hawkins
Pardon me. Is Lady Westforth in? I'm here toâOh dear! I seem to have lost my bracelet.
Mrs. Cowper to Herberts, on coming to visit
Lady Westforth following the announcement of the Joyous News
V
erena opened the door to James's room and peered in.
He immediately pushed himself to a sitting position. “Ver!”
She went in and perched on the edge of his bed. “You look better. What did the physician say?”
“That I shall be up and about on crutches within the next few days. The timing's perfect, for our ship sails Saturday.”
The news should have made her happy. Instead her eyes sprang a horrid leak. “IâI'm glad.”
He took her hand, a wry smile on his face. “No, you're not. Where's St. John?”
“He was here all morning but I didn't see him.” She couldn't. Ever since yesterday's horrible experience, she'd avoided Brandon, refusing to see him simply because she couldn't. Her heart was almost breaking now.
James sighed. “Are you certain this is what you want to do? Leave London?”
She didn't want to leave at all. “You know what would happen if we stayed.” The suspicions would begin, and the whispers. “We don't have that blasted list.”
James rubbed his chin, his brow creased. “I suppose so. I justâVerena, we only get so many chances at happiness. Don't waste this one.”
Her throat tightened, her eyes burned. She wasn't wasting anything. She stood, patting his hand softly. “The only thing I'm wasting is time. I've packing to do.”
She gave him an encouraging smile and left, stopping outside to rest her head against the cool wooden door. As soon as James's leg healed, they would leave and everything would be as it should be. She should be happy. After all, she would be with her family soon. And James was well.
“There you are,” came a voice at her ear.
She gasped, then pressed a hand to her thudding heart. “Brandon! For the love ofâyou scared me!”
“I didn't mean to,” he said, stepping out of the shadows. He filled the narrow hallway, made it seem darker and intimate. “How is your brother?”
“Better.” Verena turned toward the stairs, anxious to get somewhere where there was more light. Why did her heart lurch every time Brandon was near? “The doctor said he should be up in a few days.”
Brandon followed her down the steps. “That isn't that long. And we can all use a little rest.”
Verena paused at the door of the sitting room. “How did you get in?”
Brandon shrugged. “I have my ways.”
“You bribed Herberts, didn't you?”
He opened the door and stood to one side. “I'll never tell.”
She paused, remembering suddenly the last time they'd been in this room. Her skin heated at the thought. A glance at Brandon told her that he was thinking the same thing, his gaze on the settee, a faint smile on his lips.
Blast, blast and double blast. She hated farewells. Back stiff, she walked into the sitting room. All too soon, she'd never see this room again. For some reason, it looked dreadfully dear. She blinked back tears when she realized that in a week, she'd be saying good-bye again.
Good-bye. That had to be the most horrible word ever written into a language. Her eyes stung and she went to the window overlooking the street to hide her tears. There was so much she wanted to sayâso much she
needed
to say, but couldn't.
Brandon came to stand beside her, his leg brushing her skirts. “When we were last in this room, I started to tell you something, but you told me to wait.”
“Yes, well, there's no need toâ”
“I've a question or two. If you don't mind, of course.”
She should tell him to leave. This very instant. But somehow, the words changed in her throat. “You may ask me anything you wish.”
“How come your trunks are still in the front hallway?”
Verena stiffened. “Trunks?”
“Yes. I looked in them while I was waiting. You've clean shirts, nightgowns, that sort of thing. I know you were going to pretend to be leaving when we used the fake note, but nowâ¦now I have to wonder if perhaps you aren't pretending anymore.”
“Oh.”
He moved so that as he leaned against the window frame, his shoulder came in contact with hers. “You've planned on fleeing the country.”
Verena wet her lips. It sounded cowardly when he said it like that. She turned to face him. “Brandon, we have no choice. We don't know where that list is and until we find itâ”
“It's time you stopped running.” His eyes burned brightly. “Forever, Verena. Have you ever used that word? Forever. It's a beautiful word.”
“I am not running. For your information, I stopped running four years ago,” she said stiffly.
“Did you? Or did you exchange running for hiding?” He smoothed a curl that lay on her shoulder, his voice low, intimate. “When I first met you, there were some things about you that didn't make sense. Little things. But significant for all that.”
“Like what?”
“That you were known in the demimonde as a seductress.” He leaned forward and rubbed his cheek along hers, the touch sparking a heat in her stomach and lower. “Yet I could find no one who recalled you ever having a lover. Not one.”
She shivered. Her entire body was awash with the feel of him. “Perhaps I kept my lovers well hidden.”
“And perhaps you never took one because it would mean revealing yourself.”
“Brandon, there is no need for this conversation.”
“Oh but there is. You see, it has been several days since I realized that I cannot live without you.”
She looked down at her hands. Strange how one could see one's hands every day but never really
see
them. They were long and elegant, though she deplored how wide her thumbnail appeared to be. “Brandon, you don't knowâ”
“Verena, will you marry me?”
It was just like when Andrew had asked her. But unlike Andrew, Brandon had much, much more to lose. Worse, she had much, much more to lose.
“No,” she whispered. “I cannot.”
“Why can't you? Don't you love me?”
Did she love him. God help her, but she was awash in love. Every thought, every feeling, every sinew of her body was of him and for him and by him.
And that was why she had to send him away. “Brandon, you must think this through. I am not just a nobody. I am a Lansdowne. My family is a family of charlatans. We answer to no one and we are very, very good at deception.”
“So is my brother Devon. He would have been an incredible actor.”
“Would have been, if he hadn't been a St. John.”
He frowned. “You are the most obstinate female. Verena, I don't careâ”
“But you will. You will care when your brothers turn their backs on you. When your family re
fuses to say your name ever again. When people you thought were friends cut you at every opportunity, refusing to recognize you, mocking you at every turn.” She lifted her gaze to his. “Do you know what that feels like? Do you have any idea? It hurts, Brandon. It stings like a cut but it's oh so much deeper. I will never go through that again.”
“Good God, is that what happened when you married Westforth?”
“That and more.”
Brandon looked at her for a long moment, watching her from beneath his lashes. Finally he sighed.
The sound ripped through Verena like a knife. That was it. He would leave. She would follow James to Italy and then on to France. But her heartâ¦where would it be?
She closed her eyes, and made to turn away, but Brandon's hands closed over her arms. “I suppose you are rightâour marriage would indeed cause a scandal. Just as your other marriage caused a scandal.”
“Yes,” she whispered. “After Andrew diedâ¦it was horrible.”
His hands moved up and down her arms, rubbing, smoothing. It was as if a heavy net entwined them. Brandon pressed his lips to her temple and murmured against her skin, “But there's a difference this time. Whatever happens to us, it will happen to us together. I will never ever leave you alone. Do you understand that? No one will cut you without facing me first.”
“Brand, you can't face down that sort of thing.”
“Can't you?” He tilted her face to his. “Watch me.”
“I can'tâI won't go through that again.”
He frowned. “What about me, Verena? What about the fact that I love you? That I can't live without you? You think there will be a scandal if you marry me? What if you
don't
marry me?”
She frowned. “I don't seeâ”
“I'll die.”
“No, you won't.”
“Part of me will.” His hands cupped her face warmly. “You are a part of me, Verena, whether you want to be or not. I cannot live without you. If you go to Italy, then so shall I go.”
“B-but your familyâ”
“Will understand.” He took her hand and placed it over his pocket, over the ring that hung suspended on a ribbon. “You belong to me.”
Her fingers closed about the metal circlet, the warmth tingling beneath her fingers. “IâI don't know what to say.”
“Say you'll marry me and keep me from living a horrible nomad's existence. And if you won't marry meâ¦that would be an even larger pity. Because you see, I wrote to your parents and invited them to our wedding.”
Verena lost the ability to speak and breathe. She blinked up at him. “You did what?”
He smiled smugly. “You heard me. I wrote and asked your parents to come to the wedding. They should be on their way now. I do hope they make it before Saturday next.”
“Why?”
“Because that's when we're getting married. I've already procured a special license.”
“Brandon, how canâ”
“And that's another thing. I've already sent the invitations.”
“Youâyou did?”
“Well, no. I didn't do it myself. I'm not much in the way of organizing things. But my sister is. As is my sister-in-law. Between Sara and Anna, I believe they've taken care of the entire event, or so they assure me. I hope you will be pleased.”
“Butâsurely you can cancelâ”
“Two hundred invitations?”
Her lips moved faintly.
He shook his head. “I don't think so. I mean, we could try. But I'm certain we'd miss a few, which could cause all sorts of problems.” He sighed. “And then there is the orchestra, the cake, the ballâ”
“What ball?”
“To welcome you to the family. My brother Marcus is determined to stare down anyone who might offer either of us insult. So they're having a grand ball to introduce you as Mrs. Brandon St. John.”
“Howâwhenâ” Verena pressed her fingers to her forehead. “Brandon, I can't let youâ”
He pressed his fingers against her lips. “You don't have to let me do anything. If you don't want to marry me, then I'll just have to deal with the scandal on my own.”
“What scandal?”
“Of being stood up. Left at the altar. A laugh
ingstock of the entire
ton
. If you don't show up at the wedding after we've already invited all those peopleâ¦well, everyone will know that you've walked out on me. Because I will be there.”
It was blackmail. Rich, delicious blackmail. Her lips quivered ever so slightly. “You will, hm?”
“Oh yes. And people will talk, you know.”
“I imagine they might.”
“It will take forever to live it down. This sort of thing⦔ He sighed dramatically. “I am considered quite a catch and that will make it all the worse.”
She had to bite her lip to keep from smiling. “I can see where it might cause all sorts of problems, especially since you are so handsome.”
“Exactly my point.” He traced his fingers along her cheek, the touch feather light, his gaze intense. “Verena, if you do not marry me and quickly, I will never be happy again. I love you.”
She just stared at him, her heart quivering. “Brandon, I can'tâ”
He kissed her. Kissed her so thoroughly that she had to cling to him when he finished. “Well?” he said roughly. “Will you marry me and save me from my mistakes? Save me from dying old and alone, for I will, you know.”
He looked down at his pocket and undid the ribbon. “Verena, will you please marry me?” He slid the ring over her finger.
The ring seemed to glow, the metal warm against her skin. He did have a pointâ¦there would be a scandal no matter what she did. Only
if she stayed and married him, they wouldn't have to face it, or anything else, alone.
“Yes, Brandon,” she said, her heart full. “I will marry you.”
And she did.
Love is a grand thing, âtis. An' the best parts of all is the kissin'.
Herberts to the Pemberleys' new maid, Anne, while trying to convince the pert wench to ah, “honor his suit”
T
he wedding was the talk of the season, but Brandon and Verena were too happy to care. Brandon could not believe his good fortuneâeverything he wanted, everything he'd dreamed about, stood at his side. He placed his arm about Verena as they stood in the receiving line at the grand ball Marcus had hosted for them, thinking of the carriage that waited just outside.
As pleasant as the wedding had been, he was even more anxious to begin the honeymoon. He wanted Verena alone, all to himself. His interfering sister, Sara, had managed to convince Verena to move in with her during the week before the wedding, ostensibly to assist with the preparations. Brandon knew Sara was really attempting to protect his lovely bride from his attentions.
Fortunately for all concerned, Verena's room was directly over the veranda and the trellis led
right to her window. Brandon found that there was a certain piquancy to stealing into his betrothed's bedchamber each and every night.
She caught his gaze and grinned, causing him to pull her to him for yet another kiss. He simply could not get enough of her. And he realized with deep gratification that it would always be that wayâ¦the more they had of each other, the more they needed.
Verena slipped her arm about his waist and rested her fair head on his shoulder, the faint scent of lavender rising. It was the end of a long and exciting week. Her parents had indeed arrived, claiming to be relatives of a long-deposed Russian archduke. Brandon had to give them creditâthey had the looks and manners of royalty. No one suspected a thing.
James came out of the ballroom, resplendent in black coat and breeches, his crutches adorned with colorful ribbons.
Verena smiled at him. “I see that our sister Charlotte has been at you.”
He regarded the ribbons with something akin to loathing. “Lud, yes. If I had been a horse, she'd have attempted to plait my tail. I'm lucky she just twined those things about my crutches and not my leg.”
Brand chuckled. Verena's family was charming. After a momentary hesitation, the
ton
had become taken with them and the invitations were already pouring in.
Of course, the Lansdownes would not be staying long enough for anyone to discover their deception. Verena's father already had plans for
visiting Italy, only this time as a deposed English duke. Brand made certain that the family had plenty of funds for their travels and he promised to take Verena once a year for a nice, lengthy visit, an arrangement that suited everyone to perfection.
A new guest walked through the line. Slightly stooped, with white hair and bushy browsâBrandon recognized him immediately. “Sir Colburn!”
The old man smiled. “Didn't think I'd come, did you?” He shook Brandon's hand and then gave the bride a gallant kiss. “I apologize for being late. I had an altercation with some chap driving a carriage in your front drive. Rudest man I ever met and Iâ” Sir Colburn waved a hand and chuckled. “Sorry. Rambling on like a fool. Comes with age, you know.”
“Sir Colburn,” Verena said, “have you found the missing list?”
James leaned forward eagerly. “I certainly hope you have.”
Colburn shook his head. “I'm afraid not, though you were certainly kind to allow us to search your house so thoroughly.”
“I just wish you'd found it,” Verena said with a frown. “I fear we will never hear the end of it unless you do.”
Brandon slid his hand from her waist, up her back, and then beneath the thick fall of her hair. “I'm certain it will turn up in good time.”
She turned and smiled at him, her violet eyes warm with love. God, he loved her so much. Heedless of their surroundings, he bent to kiss herâ
“Here now, guv'nor! Shouldn't ye save thet fer yer honeymoon?”
Brandon sighed. “Herberts.”
“Good God,” James exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
The man, splendidly adorned in a new blue and buff coat complete with shiny brass buttons, his thinning hair slicked to one side, hooked his thumbs in his waistcoat and rocked back on his heels. “Mayhap ye should ask the missus about thet.”
Sir Colburn frowned. “Do you know this man? He's the one who attempted to cut off my coachman as we turned into the drive!”
“Thet's because oiye was in a bit of a hurry.” Herberts leaned forward to say in a confidential tone. “Ye really needs some new horses, guv'nor. The ones ye has now are slugs, the both o' them.”
Brandon looked down at Verena. “Well?”
She dimpled mischievously. “It seemed to me that Herberts wasn't reallyâ¦happy as a butler.”
“Ye had the roight o' it, missus. Oiye was near to miserable.”
“Poor man!” James said, though he didn't look in the least concerned.
“And,” Verena added swiftly, “he has such significant talents in other areas.”
“Thet's roight. Oiye can drive a coach to an inch, oiye can.”
Verena smiled up at Brandon. “I thought perhaps he might enjoy being our coachman now that you've brought Poole to us.”
“Poole seems t' like bein' a butler,” Herberts said, his thin chest puffed out. “Meanwhile, oiye'm a dandy coachman. Bet ye're surprised to find thet out, ain't ye, guv'nor?”
“Brandon!” Devon stalked in, his brows lowered, Chase hard on his heels. “I was standing in the front lawn, bidding Lady Tarleton good-bye when someone took my new watch.”
Chase nodded glumly. “I've lost my gold cravat pin, too.”
Brandon looked at Herberts.
“Wasn't me!” the coachman said, holding his hands in the air.
“
Herberts
,” Verena said.
The man shook his head sadly. “Oh, all roight. 'Tis supposed to be a joyous occasion, after all.” He dug into his pockets and began to produce his loot. With a regretful sigh, he dropped it in a shimmering pile on a long marble table.
“Good God,” Sir Colburn said, bending to look at the collection of rings, watch fobs, watches, cravat pins, an enameled snuffbox, and other glittering items. “That's quite a collection.”
“There's my watch,” Devon said. He polished it with his palm, then tucked it away.
“And my cravat pin,” Chase said.
James winked at Herberts. “Bloody good job, old fellow.”
Herberts preened. “Weel, now. Thank ye, Mr. Lansdowne. Oiye trys to keep up wif me hobbies.”
Sir Colburn picked up the enameled snuffbox. “This looks familiar. I wonder ifâMy God!”
“What?” Brandon asked.
“I know where I've seen this. It belonged to Humford! He had it the last time I saw him. The day we gave him the list.”
Verena frowned. “I didn't think he took snuff.”
“He didn't,” Colburn said slowly. “I wonder if⦔ With a flick of his thumb, Colburn undid the tiny catch and then opened the box. A small piece of paper fell out onto the floor. Colburn stooped to retrieve it.
“The list,” James exclaimed. “Herberts must have stolen the snuffbox from Humford while he was at Verena's dinner party.”
Brandon chuckled. “Which explains why he began searching for it in the middle of dinnerâhe knew he'd just had it and all of the sudden it was gone. I daresay he panicked.”
“I can't believe you found it!” Verena said, giving a little hop. “Thank God.”
Sir Colburn beamed. “Thank God indeed. Mr. and Mrs. St. John, I hope you'll excuse me, but I must go.”
“Of course,” Brandon said. He watched as Sir Colburn strode out of the house, almost prancing in excitement.
Verena leaned her head against Brandon's shoulder and sighed happily.
Brandon looked down into his wife's shining eyes and was suddenly overcome with the need to go on his honeymoon. And not in thirty or forty minutes, but now. This very instant. Before he took her in his arms and embarrassed them both before the whole world.
He took her hand and drew it through his. “Herberts, do you think you can extract the carriage from that mess out there?”
“Lord love ye, o' course oiye can. Are ye ready to go?”
“Already?” Devon frowned. “Aren't you going to say good-bye to Marcus and Sara?”
“Why should he bother?” Chase said. “Marcus won't care and Sara will think it vastly romantic.”
“Which it is,” Verena said happily. “Vastly romantic.” The whole world seemed to shimmer before her, full of promise and love.
He took her hand and placed a kiss in her palm. “Shall we go, then?”
She answered him with a look that caused him to suck in his breath and bustle her outside. Moments later, Verena was sitting in her new carriage, Herberts climbing onto the box. Brandon halted just outside the door, looking so mischievous that Verena had to restrain herself from throwing her arms about his neck.
“One moment, love,” he said. “I've an errand.”
From where he and Chase stood on the porch, Devon squinted across the lawn. “Looks as if Brandon's coming back. He must have decided to say farewell to Marcus after all.”
Chase followed Devon's gaze to find Brandon strolling across the lawn, his hands in his pockets. “I wouldn't have returned.”
“No? Not even to say good-bye?”
“Not even to say hello.”
Halfway up the lawn, Brandon stopped. “
Chase
!” he yelled.
Chase's brows rose and he stepped forward. “
What
?”
“
Take care of this
.” Brand threw something.
Chase didn't even think. He reached out and caught the small object. It was the talisman ring.
“
Bloody hell
!” Chase roared. “Take this back!”
“Hell, no. It's yours. It just may save you.” With a wave, Brandon turned and dashed back across the lawn to his carriage.
Chase whirled to Devon, who held up his hands. “Don't look at me!” Devon said, stepping away. “It's all yours now.”
Damn it. The talisman ring was the last thing he needed, today of all days.
Chase looked back toward the road. The carriage was still in sight, caught in the drive between an old coach and a landau. Herberts was shouting deprecations to an elderly driver who appeared to be deaf, as well as slow. Holding the ring in his fist, Chase vaulted over the railing and ran.
But just as he reached the carriage, the landau moved. Herberts whipped the horses to life. They took off at breakneck speed and were soon dashing down the drive, weaving precariously and taking the corner into the street at an astounding pace.
Chase watched until the carriage was out of sight, the ring warm in his palm. Damn it, what was he supposed to do now? He hadn't planned on returning to his lodgings untilâ¦he frowned, his throat tight. Perhaps never.
Shoulders slumped, he looked down at the ring, the strange runes gleaming in the light.
“Bloody hell. I suppose I'm stuck with you.” He held the ring at eye level and gave it a fierce scowl. “Just don't get any ideas; I wasn't made for marriage and it will be a cold day in hell before I am.”
That said, he shoved the ring into his pocket and made his way to his phaeton.