Confessions of a She-Fan (5 page)

On Memorial Day the Yankees lose
the first of a three-game series against the Blue Jays at Rogers Centre. On Tuesday night, they waste a fine performance by Pettitte and lose to the Jays again. It is killing me that they are flushing themselves down the toilet, but I can't help watching, the way you can't help rubbernecking. Wednesday is a newsy day in Yankeeville. No, Joe has not been fired. It is A-Rod who is in the headlines.

The
New York Post
has dubbed him Stray-Rod and Yankee Doodle Randy. As is clear from the story's accompanying photos, he has been a naughty, naughty boy in Toronto. He is shown cavorting with a woman who is not his wife. The woman is a platinum blonde with big jugs and even bigger biceps—more Hustler than
Playboy
. She is not particularly attractive. Surely he can afford better. According to the story, she is a stripper, and she and A-Rod went to a lap dance club together. And—here is the real bombshell—she has been spotted with him in other cities besides Toronto.

A-Rod also makes news during the game against the Blue Jays. He shouts something that distracts third baseman Howie Clark, who drops the ball. The Blue Jays claim he yelled, “I got it!” or “Mine!” but A-Rod claims he said “Hah!” Replays are inconclusive, and Michael and I discuss whether A-Rod has a tendency to do bush league things. He is carrying the Yankees on his back this season, bush league or not.

The Yanks go on to beat the Jays 10–5, avoid the sweep, and snap their five-game losing streak. Mo gets his first save since May 3.

Thursday is an off day before the Yankees open another series against the Red Sox at Fenway. I focus on the e-mails about the divorce essay that continue to flood my in-box. Mixed in with the ones telling me that I am a despicable person are suggestions that I expand the saga of my relationship with the team into a baseball book.

A career in baseball is all I ever wanted. When I got out of college in the '70s, I wrote a letter to Michael Burke, president of the Yankees, asking for a job. He passed it along to Bob Fischel, who was head of PR then. I got my interview with the Yankees, but the job Bob Fischel offered me was secretarial, and I had bigger ambitions. I also interviewed with a vice president at ABC Sports, thinking I could be an on-air baseball reporter. The job he offered me was “sponsor hostess”—I would serve cocktails to sponsors at sporting events and “look pretty.” This was before such jobs were not only objectionable to women but also illegal. And then there was my interview at Major League Baseball. Bowie Kuhn was the commissioner, and baseball was losing young men to other sports, to college, to the military. His office needed a recruitment campaign along the lines of the army's “Uncle Sam Wants You!” I said I would be thrilled to work on the campaign. But a few weeks later they explained that Major League Baseball was just not ready to hire a woman to promote it. I was disappointed, but I could not afford to be a pioneer and go door-to-door trying to break through any glass ceilings. I needed to make money. I answered an ad in the
New York Times
' classified section for an assistant in the publicity department at a book publishing company. I spent 10 years climbing the ladder in publishing, promoting dozens of novelists before becoming one myself.

But here I am in the present, and the novel I am supposed to be writing is going nowhere. Writing a book about the Yankees,however,would prove to those people who trashed me that I am not a bandwagon fan; that I am the most devoted fan a person can possibly be.

If I were Derek Jeter, I would not want to begin the month at a miniature park stuffed with Red Sox fans chanting, “Yankees suck!” The infield at Fenway is what sucks. I bet Jeter sees more bad hops there than anywhere.

Actually, I wonder what Jeter is thinking these days. His offense, unlike that of most of the hitters,has been very reliable. I am dying to know whether he really thinks this team will pull out of the hole they have dug for themselves or if he is just bullshitting the media when he says, “We'll be fine.” I would also like to know if he still hates A-Rod or if they are good teammates now. And what is up with all the high-profile women he dates? Mr. and Mrs. Jeter always look so down-to-earth when the camera finds them in their seats. I can't picture them embracing a Mariah, Jessica, or Scarlett as their daughter-in-law.

The Yankees win the June 1 game in Boston 9–5. Wang struggles through five-plus innings, but it is in the fourth when things get heated. Wakefield hits Phelps, and Kyle Snyder hits A-Rod. In the top of the ninth, Javier Lopez hits Cano. And in the bottom of the inning,Proctor,the enforcer, throws at Youkilis's head. Both benches empty, but no punches are thrown. They all just stand around looking pissy. Typical Yankees–Red Sox.

Boston takes the Saturday game 11–6. Neither starter, Mussina or Schilling, gets the decision, as it is a battle of the pens and a sloppy display by the Yankees, who blow the lead three times. Jeter commits two errors, and Proctor gives up five runs for the loss. But that is not the worst of it. In the bottom of the seventh, Lowell is running to first and collides with Mientkiewicz, who not only has been playing stellar defense but also has started to swing the bat well. Doug goes down and stays down. Eventually, he is carted off the field and bound for the hospital. And Clemens, who was supposed to make his much-anticipated debut in Chicago, has a “fatigued right groin.” I'll give that motherfucker a fatigued right groin.

On Sunday the New York tabloids report that A-Rod has been dining with a blonde in Boston but that this blonde is Cynthia—a.k.a. C-Rod. Unlike his stripper, C-Rod is attractive and well-groomed and very fit—more
Prevention
than
Playboy
. I guess she has been deployed by the Yankees to keep her husband out of trouble. Or maybe she has decided to step in and fight for her man. I am forever fascinated by Yankee marriages, since I used to dream of being in one. As for the game, the Yankees win it 6–5. Again, it is a battle of the bullpens
as Pettitte can't get out of the fifth inning and Beckett is foiled by his closer, Jonathan Pap Smear, who gives up a homer in the top of the ninth to A-Rod. Divorce or no divorce, that is sweet. What is not sweet is the medical report on Mientkiewicz. He has suffered a concussion, a cervical sprain, and a broken bone in his right wrist and could miss 6 to 8 weeks.

And in an article in the sports section of the
Santa Barbara News-Press
, Tommy Lasorda weighs in on my divorce essay.

“If she is dropping the Yankees, she should pick up the Dodgers,” he tells reporter Mike Takeuchi.“There is a saying in this country: If you don't pull for the Dodgers, you may not get to heaven.”

The Yankees move on to Chicago
for a four-game series. This time they actually play well against the skanky ChiSox and win three out of four. A-Rod is smacking homers again. Wang pitches his first complete game of the season. Mussina has a great outing, despite not getting the decision. And Mo gets a couple of saves. I perk up. I watch the games without grinding my teeth. Michael is preoccupied with a photographic project he is doing in LA, and he is missing the games. It is like I have lost my Yankee buddy. I bet he is relieved not to be around me. I feel guilty for having taken his company for granted once the season started and putting the Yankees first. If he sent me an e-mail like all those
New York Times
readers did, he would probably call me a bandwagon wife.

Interleague play resumes on Friday with a series at home against Pittsburgh. The Yankees should be able to bury a joke of a team like the Pirates, and they do, in asweep. a sweep. Clemens makes his debut on Saturday and goes a respectable six innings, striking out seven and benefiting from the suddenly smoldering bat of Abreu. By the end of the weekend, the Yankees have won six in a row. I get
e-mails from friends who suggest that the Yanks are playing well because I threatened to divorce them. I think it is more likely that they are finally beating teams they should beat and that the 2007 season could get interesting if they keep it up.

It is the interleague series
at the Stadium against the Diamondbacks that convinces me this season is definitely worth writing about. We sweep Arizona. Wang pitches a beauty on the 12th. Mussina goes his longest outing on the 13th. And Pettitte pitches eight brilliant innings on the 14th. Oh, and A-Rod belts his major-league-leading 25th homer.

With the Yankees reeling off nine straight wins, I call Ellen Levine,my literary agent in New York, and suggest that I write a nonfiction book about their 2007 season.

“I'll get on a plane after the All-Star break, follow the team to every game, and chronicle the season from a female perspective,” I tell her.

“It sounds very promising,” she says, even though she is not the least bit into baseball and could not tell you what the All-Star break is. “The response you got to the
Times
piece indicates a market for a book.”

“I'll write about what it really means to be a fan,” I add.

“Great,” she says. “Give me a proposal as soon as you can. Will you be able to get access to the players?”

I hesitate. “Absolutely.”

Over the weekend, while the Yankees are winning two of three against the Mets in the Bronx, I sit at the computer and make my case for why a publisher should pay me to fly all over the country with the Yankees. I state that I will learn life lessons by going to Baltimore, Detroit, and Kansas City, the way the author of the bestseller
Eat, Pray, Love
learned life lessons by going to Italy, India, and Indonesia. Okay, it will not be the same thing, because she was writing about spirituality and I will be writing about baseball, but we will both be searching for something.

Since what I really hope to do in this book is to prove to my detractors that I am a true fan—such a true fan that I will become pals with Jeter and A-Rod and all the guys—I boast in the proposal that I have contacts within the Yankees organization. (Well, I must know someone who has contacts.) I pledge that I will gain access to the players and interview them for the book. I will be a true fan
and
a fearless journalist.

The Yankees win the finale of the series against the Mets. Wang strikes out 10—his career high. A-Rod hits home run number 27 and drives in three runs for a major-league-leading 73 RBIs. And the Yankees notch their 11th victory in 12 games.