Confessions of an Alli Cat (19 page)

“Don’t worry about it,” he tells me good-naturedly.  “Seriously.  I showed up here on your sick day unannounced. I deserved it.”

He laughs and I can’t help but laugh with him. 

What a day.

“It seems that the deck is stacked against our having a normal relationship, doesn’t it?” Alex chuckles.  And at the word relationship, I suck in breath.  Can he tell that I’ve been thinking of him in a very un-boss like way?  I swallow. 

“I know and that’s my fault,” I say uncertainly.  “I’m really sorry. I promise, I’m usually very professional.”

Alex shakes his head.  “I wouldn’t change you a bit,” he announces. 

He’s so handsome with the evening sun shining on him through the window. I try not to notice it. 

“You make going to work interesting,” he adds.

“Glad I can be of service,” I mumble.  “Would you actually like that drink now or should I find something else to dump on you?”

He laughs.  “You know, as tempting as that sounds, I should probably get going.  I want to look through this file tonight and make some notes.  You have a good night, though, and I’ll see you tomorrow.  I hope your swelling goes down.  Honestly, it looks better already.  That cream must be helping!”

I touch my cheeks gingerly. He’s right.  The skin is much more relaxed than it was a bit ago.

“You’re right- and thank you for the idea.  I hadn’t even though of it.  Maybe you should have been a doctor.”

“Ah, but then I would have had to see naked women all day at work, you know- without their underwear and stuff.  Oh, wait!  That happens to me now!” He laughs as he watches my face.  My face, obviously, explodes into flame.

“I’m kidding,” he tells me. “I shouldn’t find it so funny, but I can’t help it.  I hope you don’t find it inappropriate.  You have to admit that this entire situation is hilarious.”

I nod miserably.

“I know.  It is,” I admit. “Lately, with every stupid stunt that I pull, it feels like I’m having an out of body experience. Like I keep watching someone else do all the dumb stuff that I keep doing.”

Alex just chuckles.  “Don’t worry about it.  I had a period after my divorce when I went a little crazy too.  It will pass and things will get back to normal again.”

I nod because I know he’s right, but the trouble is that I don’t even know what normal is.  I’m going to have to find a new normal, I think.  I walk him to the door and thank him for coming to get the file and apologize once again for ruining his crotch. 

“Of your pants,” I add, stammering. 

He grins. 

“It was good to see you today, Alli,” he smiles. “Really.”

And he’s gone.

And I’ve only made it to my hallway before he’s back, grinning sheepishly as he pokes his head in the door. 

“Um, my car won’t start,” he says with a shake of his head.  “I’m going to call a tow-truck.  Then do you mind if I wait here with you?”

I stare at him.  “Your car won’t start? What in the world do you drive?”

I walk to the window and glance out onto my drive to see a gleaming black BMW.  It’s clearly brand new. 

“Hmm.  Well, even the best things break,” I say as I turn around. “Of course you can wait in here.  Would you like that drink now?”

Alex nods.  “That would be great.” 

He finds a tow-truck company on his phone and then calls them while I pour him a glass of wine.  And then one for myself.  I motion to him that I’ll be right back and I make my way to my bedroom to get dressed.

I have to force myself not to put on something sexy.

I am startled by that inclination. 

I want to look sexy for my boss?

But my boss is drop-dead sexy
, I remind myself. 

So of course I want to look sexy too.  I pull on a pair of yoga pants instead and a t-shirt. It’s a snug, v-neck t-shirt, but it’s still a t-shirt.  And the yoga pants do make my ass look good, but they’re still yoga pants.  I glance into the mirror.  My face looks a little better, but it’s still not phenomenal.  But at least the Elephant Man look is gone. It definitely didn’t suit me.

When I return to the kitchen, Alex is off the phone.

“You look better,” he announces, looking for all intents and purposes like a GQ model as he turns away from the windows and smiles at me.

“Well, getting dressed will do that to a person,” I answer.  When I smile now, my face doesn’t feel tight from the swelling.  That’s got to be a good thing. 

“Okay,” I say as I gaze around my kitchen.  “Pretty much the only things that I have to eat are chocolate, popcorn and a bunch of frozen vegetables.  I’m hungry though. Want to call in some Chinese while we wait for the tow-truck?  I’ve got them on speed-dial.”

Alex laughs.  “I thought your kitchen was too clean to actually be used.  I’d love Chinese.  I know it’s only 5:00, but I skipped lunch today since I had to duck out early.”

I shrug as I reach for the phone. 

“I’m not that much of a cook,” I tell him honestly.  “But I can bake a frozen pizza with the best of them.  And I’m excellent at dialing the phone.”

He laughs again as I order our dinner.  I then pour us two more glasses of wine and we settle onto the patio to wait.

“So, how did you decide to come to Zellers?” I ask, making polite small talk.  I am purposely ignoring the way his stomach is wash-board flat. The only ripples on it are from muscles.  And I can practically see them through his tailored shirt.  I feel a hot flash coming on from the mere thought, so I keep my eyes trained upon his.

He drums his fingers on the patio table and I look at them.  They are long and slender, but very manly at the same time.  He’s got sexy hands.  I sigh.  Why would they be anything else? They’re attached to a sexy body.

Focus, imbecile!
  I reprimand myself. And I fixate on his eyes again. 

Which of course doesn’t help because he’s got gorgeous eyes. 

But I keep mine focused on them and ignore the way his full lips move as he speaks.

“Well, one of my good friends is a recruiter.  And when he saw this position, he thought it would be a perfect fit for me.  He knew that I’d been wanting to make a change.  I really kind of wanted a complete and total new start.”

I stare at him. 

“Are you from here?”

“Yes,” Alex answers as he takes a drink of wine.  “But after my divorce, I moved across town and sort of changed my life in every way. I’ve started some hobbies, made some healthy changes… stuff like that.  Sometimes, when you’re married, you forget to grow as an individual because you’re so focused on being part of a unit.”

“How long ago were you divorced?” I ask curiously.  For some reason, I had it in my head that it had been awhile.

“Eighteen months,” he says.  “And I’m all the better for it.”

I sip at my wine, too.  God, I love wine. 

“What happened?  Why did you divorce?”

“We grew apart,” he shrugs.  “I thought we were fine, and apparently, my wife was fine… but she was fine with her tennis instructor.  So…we divorced.  I’m not one of those freaks who likes to share my wife.”

He grins wryly and I want to hug him suddenly.  I certainly know what it feels like to get cheated on.  But who in their right mind would cheat on Alex Harris??  Holy cow, what a silly wench his ex must be.

“My ex cheated too,” I tell him.  “And it was hard.  I mean, it makes you re-examine everything about your life.  But I’m better for it, too.”

He’s staring at me with an expression of total shock. 

“Who in their right mind would cheat on you?” he asks candidly.

“That’s exactly what I was just thinking about you!” I admit.  “I guess our exes were just insane.  So, here’s to crazy.” I clink my glass to his. 

He smiles.  “Well, crazy does have some benefits,” he says.  “If they hadn’t lost their minds, we’d still be attached to them right?”

Yep
, I think. 
And I wouldn’t be sitting here with you, practically drooling. 

Okay.  I’ve got to put an end to these kinds of thoughts.  He’s my boss.  I can’t get involved with him.  But I can’t seem to convince my brain to stop thinking about him.

So I do the only thing I can think of to stop the madness…the only thing that might quell the insatiable need I have to act like an idiot around him.

I admit my infatuation to him.

Yes, I’m probably crazy. But I’ve known that for a while now.

“So, I’m improving myself too,” I tell him, filling up our wine glasses yet again.  “And one of the things that I’m doing is that I’m being completely honest about everything in my life.  It takes too much energy to play games- and life is too short.  So, I’m struggling with something here and I just want you to know about it. Because maybe that will help.”

Alex stares at me in concern. “I’ll help you in any way that I can, Alli.”

“Okay, looking at me so sweetly is not helping,” I announce.  Since we’re on my patio and into our third glass of wine, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that he’s my boss.

“I’m not following you,” Alex tells me uncertainly.  “Have I offended you? I thought you said that you aren’t easily offended.”

“No, of course not,” I tell him, sucking in a breath.  “I’m not offended.  I’m attracted to you. That’s why I’m been acting like a bumbling idiot, I guess.  You intimidate me and I’m attracted to you.  And I don’t agree with dating in the workplace because it makes things too awkward, so I’m sort of at a loss.”

Now he’s staring at me silently.  And he looks a little shell-shocked, so I rush to apologize. 

“Okay, I’m sorry. I crossed the line, didn’t I?” I ask anxiously, my heart starting to pound.  The last thing I need is to get fired for inappropriate behavior.  Can this be considered inappropriate since it’s in my own house?  My thoughts race and my cheeks flush.

And then Alex smiles. 

“That’s a relief, actually.  Because I’m attracted to you, too.  And you intimidate me, as well.  And I agree with not dating in the workplace.”

This is so not what I expected.

I stare at him blankly, at a loss for what to say. 

“And it’s refreshing to talk to a woman who is so honest.  I think that makes me even more intimidated, though.”

Alex smiles again, and I swear to god—his teeth are so white!  Is that even natural??

I’m still dumbfounded and Alex prompts me.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“I need more wine,” I stammer, reaching for my glass.  I take a sip.  And look at him again. “You’re intimidated by me?  Why?”

He shrugs, all handsome and elegant and refined.  “I don’t know.  I just am.  I’ve gotten over it a little now, though.  I think it was the whole vacuuming my crotch in front of you thing.”

I flush again. 

How can one woman manage to be one-hundred different kinds of idiotic? 

“I don’t know how that happened,” I tell him again.  “I really don’t.  Like I said, I’ve turned into a bumbling idiot around you.  I feel like a freaking teenager.”

He leans toward me conspiratorially.  “I kind of do, too,” he admits. “But we work together. And we’re adults.  We can handle it, right?”

I nod automatically. “Of course.  I just thought it was fair to tell you why I seem to be acting so strangely.  It feels sort of good to take the bull by the balls and just deal with a situation, rather than pussy-foot around.”

Alex sighs.  “It doesn’t help when you use the words ‘balls’ and ‘pussy’ in the same sentence, Alli.” He laughs now and I have to laugh too. 

“This is the strangest conversation that I’ve ever had with a boss,” I tell him. “But then, I’ve never had a crush on a boss before, so this is new territory. I feel sort of like I’m at tea with the Mad Hatter right now.”

“Well, I might be the Mad Hatter, but at least I have underwear on,” Alex deadpans. 

“I have underwear on!” I announce.  “I
usually
have underwear on.  I just didn’t that particular day for a very particular reason that I don’t want to get into right now.  And I think we should change the subject before I combust.”

Alex grins. 

“Agreed.  Okay…how about kids?  I saw a picture of your daughter.  She’s beautiful and looks like she could be your sister.  Is she your only child?”

I nod.  “Yes.  Sophie.  She’s fifteen and my only.  She’s a great kid.  She should probably be getting home from Cheerleading any time now, actually.  How about you?”

“I just have one, as well.  One son. He’s twenty-three and apparently, he’s still figuring his life out but he’s a great kid too.  He’ll get it someday, I’m sure.”

And then my doorbell rings.  I can hear it through the screen of my patio doors.

“Dinner is served!” I announce with a smile.  We take our glasses and return to the house.  We eat our food curled up in the living room while we make some more small talk.  And honestly, for once, I think I did something right.  Telling Alex about my infatuation with him seemed to take some of the power away from it.  I’m not nearly so intimated now.

Alex is interesting and engaging. And when the tow–truck arrives and he has to leave, I find that I am disappointed.  And that is startling. 

Which brings me to another fact that is startling.

I have a very definite crush on my boss.

Chapter Eighteen

(Or: Temptation, You are the devil. And I probably love you.)

Since Rick the Dick couldn’t find it in his schedule to take Sophie for an extra night, I arrange to have Sara stay the night at our house with her.  I’m fairly comfortable with that, or at least, I am after I stipulate that Sara can in no way do anything wild with Sophie. 

My best friend solemnly promised. 

So, I leave for the airport feeling somewhat at ease with the situation.  I’ve also got an appointment scheduled with Shade for tomorrow night.  I figure a hot, sexy date with a hot and sexy younger man will help take my mind off the fact that I have a crush on Alex.  Shade could take a dying woman’s mind off of the fate of her own soul.  He’s distracting that way.

I park my car and walk into the terminal…the one where they fly out the private planes.  Zellers has its own fleet of private jets.  Since I’m not a vice president of the company, I can only use them when I am traveling with a vice president.  But it’s still a nice perk.