Connected (67 page)

“
Whoa, I bet that was a blast from the past!” Lisa exclaimed.

“
Yeah,” I sighed, “something like that.” I looked down at the trembling hands in my lap. I had no idea that seeing him would stir up so many emotions in the pit of my stomach.

“
Oh honey,” Shannon patted my shoulder. Finishing her sentence seemed unnecessary. I felt her sympathy.

The rest of the night blurred by as my mind focused on the tranquilizing voice that poured from the speakers. Occasionally I would sneak a peek toward the stage. I could feel his eyes settling on me, even in the darkness.

His voice, gravelly and breathless behind the microphone, felt warm and comforting like a soft blanket on a cool night. The quiver in my stomach and the tremble of my hands were evidence of the effect Chris had on me. Ashamed, I tried in vain to hide my anguish. Occasionally, Shannon would pat my hand, out of sight from the rest of the girls. I smiled meekly at her as she nodded her head in understanding.

“
So, are you guys ready to call it a night?” Shannon’s eyes looked tired as she sipped her last Cosmo.

We all agreed, began to gather our purses, and stood up to leave.

“
Kaitlyn,” Chris spoke from behind me again.

The sound of his voice startled me, and I dropped my keys.

“
Oh, sorry,” he said as he quickly bent down to pick them up.

“
It’s ok,” I laughed, “I’m not usually so clumsy.”

His fingers brushed mine as he handed them back to me. The tingle from his touch radiated up my arm. I heard a nervous giggle escape from my lips. My hand flew up and covered my mouth, and I immediately felt embarrassed.

“
You really made my night,” Chris declared with a crooked grin. “I can’t believe it’s been eight years.”

“
Me either,” I concurred.

“
See you again tomorrow night?” he asked hopefully, “I mean, let’s not let another eight years go by.”

“
Absolutely,” I agreed without thinking. “We’ll be here all weekend. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

“
Great!” he replied, flashing his perfect smile at me.

As hard as I tried not to notice, Chris looked absolutely amazing. His black T-shirt clung to his well-formed chest. The smoldering intensity of his eyes staring into mine sent chills rippling through my body. “I look forward to it,” he admitted.

“
I just can’t believe it’s really you.” I could barely contain the elation in my voice. Without thinking, I reached out to hug him. He seemed shocked, but welcomed the hug.

He enveloped me in his arms and whispered, “I’ve never forgotten you.”

His breath was hot against my ear. I inhaled the mixed aroma of aftershave and breath mints as I tried to burn his scent into my memory. A breath escaped my lungs and lodged in my throat
. ‘I’m a married woman
,’ I rebuked myself. Quickly, I pulled away from him and practically ran to catch up to my friends.

“
Oh my goodness, girl! Tell us everything!” Lisa exclaimed as we walked into the living room of our condo.

“
What’s there to tell?” I asked.

Shannon spoke up. “Well, for starters, did you see the way he looked at you? And, did you see the way he looked in that shirt? Wow!”

I laughed nervously. While these girls were my closest friends, I did not feel emotionally prepared to rehash the history I had with Chris, nor did I feel strong enough to reopen old wounds I had spent years trying to heal.

“
C’mon, Kaitlyn. Give us the scoop,” Tori whined. “We want to know about this hot mystery guy.”

I sighed, preparing myself for the heartrending wave of emotion I knew I was about to experience by divulging the intimate details of my past.

My mind, as it creaked open the lid of the proverbial can of worms, drifted back to a time and place it had only visited in my dreams since the girl I once knew well, but barely recognized anymore, had sped away in her fully packed VW Jetta with hope to start a new life in college.

Each thundering crash of the ocean waves in the distance administered a dose of therapy to my soul. With my towel draped across my lounge chair, I reclined by the water’s edge sipping a Piña Colada from a hurricane glass adorned by a tiny pink umbrella. My life had all but suffocated me the past few months, and I desperately needed a change of scenery.

Lisa’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “Come on, Kaitlyn, let’s go inside and get ready to par-tay,” she called from the edge of the pool, overemphasizing her last word.

I suppressed a laugh. Only late twentysomethings remember when it was cool to pronounce it ‘par-tay’. No need to point out the fact that we were nearly too old to hit the clubs.

Two guys standing at the tiki bar turned to stare at Lisa as she stepped out of the water. She reminded me of a super model as she brushed her long brown hair away from her eyes. I met Lisa soon after she found out she was pregnant with her second son. I thought she was the most beautiful pregnant woman I had ever seen. However, Lisa’s sweet disposition far outweighed her attractiveness. Like the fair-complexioned cartoon princess, I could almost picture the birds singing to her while they helped her fold the laundry at home. Unaware of the caliber of her beauty, she never seemed to notice when other men were checking her out. She had been happily married to her high school sweetheart for almost seven years.

I chuckled under my breath while I watched the two beefcake rubbernecks at the tiki bar gawk at her over their mirrored aviator sunglasses.

“
Ok, let’s go,” I replied before I gulped the rest of my drink.

The other girls were toweling off and grabbing their bags to head upstairs to the condo. I looked around my mini-paradise---the palm tree leaves swaying against the warm breeze, the seagulls flying overhead searching for their next meal, the stark white sand that glistened for miles under the hot sun, and the constant ebb and flow of the ocean at the water’s edge. For the first time I felt a freedom I had not experienced in a long time.

I left my single life of drinking and dancing behind the day I found out I was pregnant with Eli. Michael and I had no plans of marriage until we saw those two pink lines on that cold November morning. I had set my future of becoming a pediatric psychologist aside while I made arrangements to become a stay-at-home mom. My entire life seemed to have been on hold the last five years. I quickly learned that being a stay-at-home mom was not all picnics and play dates. I felt trapped under the interminable mountain of laundry, amid the infinite overflow of dirty dishes, by the everlasting song of the purple dinosaur, and with the incessant whine of a tired and cranky child. I could not remember the last time I had enjoyed a night out. I was actually looking forward to it.

I assumed Michael and Eli were just sitting down for dinner at Burger Land. Michael, the staunch and successful CPA at a prosperous accounting firm, was much too busy to cook while I was away. He almost balked at the idea of my weekend escape.

“
Kaitlyn, I just can’t afford for you to leave right now. I need to go into work in the coming weekends to prepare for several big upcoming meetings. Work is just more important than some silly girls retreat right now.”

“
That’s the problem, Michael. Your work. Our lives revolve around your work. You always put your work before your family.”

“
My work pays the bills! Last time I checked, dishes and laundry don’t pay the bills.”

“
That’s just it, Michael. Dishes and laundry don’t pay the bills, nor do they create a fulfilling life! I’m worth more than just being slave for this family! Do you know how depressing it is when your daily goal in life is to sweep up Goldfish off the floor and dig rocks out of pants pockets before throwing them in the washing machine? I feel like I’m in solitary confinement most of the time. And then my husband comes home and carries his plate of supper into his office only to disappear for hours on end, coming to bed well after I’ve gone to sleep. That happens so often these days that sex is not even in our vocabulary anymore. I’ve spent the last five years in this unfulfilling life, wiping asses and noses, sweeping crumbs off the floor, and passing a practically nonexistent husband occasionally in the hallway!”

Five years of pent up frustration barreled its way out of me in harsh tones and salty tears.

“
We all need a break sometimes, Kaitlyn. Don’t you dare think you are the only one sacrificing your needs and wants for this family. I make sacrifices too!”

“
Oh, really? You laugh it up with your coworkers at your lavish dinner meetings eating filet mignon with lobster tail and drinking $300 bottles of wine while I sit at home eating chicken nuggets for the third time in a week. When Eli was a baby, you played your endless golf games and slept soundly in your luxurious hotel rooms while I sat at home breastfeeding until my nipples were raw, and spent my nights cleaning up explosive diapers! I never realized those fringe benefits at work were considered sacrifices for you! Please forgive me if I was mistaken!”

My seething comments oozed with sarcasm.

Michael glared at me under furrowed eyebrows. He wanted to say something, but refrained. Instead, he just huffed and stomped to his office, slamming the door behind him.

I stared at his office door, half expecting him to open it back up and say whatever it was he seemed to want to say. But, it remained closed. I could already hear him pecking away at his keyboard on his computer. What had happened to us over the past few years? It’s not that we hated each other. We were still cordial most of the time, but our marriage had become stale, stagnant, and downright boring. We worked great together as a team to run a household and raise a child, but most of the time I felt like we were just roommates passing each other in the bathroom, taking turns using the sink. Our conversations used to be interesting and compelling. Now, it seemed the only thing we discussed was whose turn it was to put Eli to bed. His office was his sanctuary, and my nose stayed in a book.

Slowly, I turned around and walked away from his closed office door, in search of my e-reader with its newly downloaded novel.

“
If you really want to go, then go. I can rearrange some things at work,” he muttered later that night as I lay in bed scouring the beach resort pamphlet that had come in the mail that afternoon.

“
You have no idea how much I need this,” I sighed.

“
Then go, enjoy your weekend. I’ll do what I can to make it work,” he grumbled.

With that, he grabbed the blanket and rolled over to go to sleep.

I felt slightly guilty that he would have to rearrange his schedule, but not guilty enough to stay home. I deserved this break. I
needed
this break before I completely lost my mind.

So, here I was at the beach taking advantage of my much needed getaway, while Michael and Eli probably enjoyed a Classic Burger from Burger Land. Eli would be overjoyed with the idea of a Junior Meal for dinner. He had been begging for one of the new Space Deputy toys for a week.

“
Hello?”

“
Hey, sweetie,” I cooed.

“
Hey, Mommy,” Eli said happily, “Guess what? I got the new Captain Neptune toy tonight!”

I laughed. “I figured Daddy would take you to Burger Land.”

“
Yeah, and it’s so cool, Mom!”

“
I bet,” I agreed.

“
Wanna talk to Daddy?” Eli blurted out, obviously too busy with his new toy to spend another second talking to me.

“
Sure, sweetie. Bye, I love you.”

“
Love you too, Mommy!”

“
Hey you, are you having fun?” Michael asked as he brought the phone to his ear.

“
So far I am. We’re going out tonight too. Karaoke, I think.”

“
Sounds fun. I hope you girls have a great time.”