Cookie Cutter (20 page)

“Come on.” I wave her over. “It’s easy.”

Ally is hesitant at first but she can’t hide the excitement when she realizes, I’m serious.

“You’re not yourself lately,” she says as we wash our hands to get started.

“Maybe I’m more myself than I have been in a long time.”

And she smiles. “Wwwwhaaaat . . . ever.”

I bump her hip and she’s not expecting it so she nearly falls over, but we share some giggles anyway. There’s a knock at the door while I’m supervising Ally putting all the ingredients together.

“You’ve got this?” I check before leaving her alone.

She nods as she reads the recipe card and I wipe my hands on my jeans on my way to the door. When I open it, I’m at a loss of words.

“Carter, what in the world?”

He stands there, smiling his boyish smile at me like we have a secret. And we do.

“Thought I’d stop by.” He leans in and is about to kiss me, then his eyes move and he notices Ally behind me, in the kitchen. He backs away. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t know-”

“It’s okay, come in.”

“You sure? I can come back.”

“No, come in. I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

Carter’s eyebrow raises up above the other. “Yeah?”

I slap him in the chest. “Yeah.” Then I turn and lead him back into the kitchen.

“Oh man, I smell cookies,” he says when we’re closer. “Can I help with anything?”

“No,” Ally says before I have the chance to reply. “I’m doing this.”

And now Carter’s entire brow rises. “Really.”

“Yes, really,” she says with that charming teenaged attitude of hers.

Carter surrenders with both hands up and I head for the fridge.

“Anyone else want something to eat?”

“Mom, how are you going to cook when I’m using the oven?”

“I’ve got an idea,” Carter says and he’s got my attention. “Who likes Chinese?”

Silly question. Ally raises her dough covered hand excitedly and I grab the menu out of our junk drawer, then hand it to Carter.

“Answer your question?”

He takes it and laughs, then makes the call.

* * *

A couple of hours later and three batches of sugar cookies in, the three of us sit at the kitchen table, stuffed from Pork Fried Rice, white rice, Beef Lo Mein, General Tsao’s Chicken and more cookies than I care to count.

“Ally,” Carter says after shoving cookie number seven into his mouth. “I venture to say, these are just as good as your mom’s.”

“I doubt that,” she says, modestly, but . . .

“He’s right.” I nod and swallow down the sugary goodness. “They’re absolutely delicious.”

“Really?” She beams.

I give her a nod. “Don’t let it go to your head, Ally, but yeah, you did great!”

“Only ten more batches to go,” she says with only a tad less enthusiasm than me when I’m
on the home stretch of finishing. “I don’t know how you do this all the time, I’m exhausted.”

I sigh. “All in a day’s work of a mother, I guess.”

She rolls her eyes and gets back up to start another sheet.

“Oh brother.”

Carter and I start cleaning up the Chinese mess we’ve made and when the trash can is full, I start to pull it out.

“Here let me help,” he says but I wave him off.

“I’ve got it.” I take the trash bag out of the container and twist it tied.  “Be right back.”

I walk it out to the curb and am stopped short, just before I make it. The smile I’ve been donning for the entire evening is suddenly wiped away. Just like that.

“James?”

He’s leaning against his car with a bottle of something in his hand. He takes a swig and sways to one side. “Ready to cut me out completely already, eh, Iris?” He smirks. “Izzie.”

I look back toward the front door, still sitting open. I can’t see Ally, which is good; she shouldn’t see her father like this.

“James, I don’t know what’s wrong with you lately, but you should go.”

“Why?” He blurts out at me with a drunken slur. “So you and your little boyfriend can have some privacy?” He adds a little louder, “With
my daughter?”

I snort, disgusted, and turn to go back inside.

“Where do you think you’re going, Iris?” he calls out louder still.

I turn and shush him but he couldn’t care less.  “I’m not done talking to you.”

Carter’s attention is turned to us and he’s making his way down the hallway. I probably have about five seconds to make James go away.

“We can talk some other time, James, but not tonight.”

“Why? You fucking him again?”

“Excuse me?”

A light turns on next door at Naked Paul’s house.

Great
.

This is about to turn into Circe de Spangler here in a minute if I don’t get my ex to leave. Me. Alone. James waves his bottle at the door. I’m sure Carter is standing there but I can’t bring myself to turn and make eye contact with him.

“There a problem, Iris?” he calls from the door.

I turn my head only half way so he can hear me. “No problem, Carter.”

Not yet, anyway.

I walk toward James, who’s got this smirk on his face that makes me want to slap him. When I’m close enough that I know only he will hear me, I glare at him hard.

“Who I fuck and who I don’t fuck became absolutely none of your business a long time ago. Why you even care is beyond me, but you are not going to come here and try to embarrass
me out of seeing Carter. Got it?”

He laughs an intoxicated laugh and chokes a little. “You don’t even know who you’re fucking do you?”

Across the street, Alex has now come outside. She must be psychic. After all, she did predict earlier that the universe would be imploding. That’s precisely what this feels like.

“Iris? Is that you dear?” Cynthia calls out from down the sidewalk. She’s in her robe and slippers and I can tell, Beatrice is not far behind her.

“Can you please just go, James?” I beg him. Desperate now.

And Carter, who has decided things are definitely not okay out here, is now standing just behind me. “Yeah, James, maybe you should go.”

“I don’t think so,” he slurs to Carter. “Not until I straighten a few things out with my wife.”

“Ex. Wife,” I say. “And I thought we straightened everything out that needed straightening the other night.”

“Do you even know this guy? Iris?” He points to Carter.

The crowd is circling in, closer now. There’s no way this is going to stay private at this point, even though I have no idea what he’s talking about.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I rub the side of my temple. I feel a headache coming on. I peek back at the house. I still don’t see Ally. At least that’s good.

“I mean he used to be a lawyer,” James says like he’s just uncovered some deep dark secret here.

“So?” Because hello? Who cares what he used to do.

“As in
ex
,” he chops his wrists together, making an X. I guess he thinks I need a visual. “As in, they disbarred him. Iris, they don’t disbar nice guys.”

Disbar is a strong word. I turn and look up at Carter, who seems as surprised as I am to hear the news.

“Exactly how in the fuck would you know that?”

“Is that true?” I ask Carter.

He nods and looks back to James. “Long story.”

“Ha!” James taps his nose with the hand he’s still holding his liquor with. “Gotcha.”

“I’m waiting, asshole.”

James straightens up and pulls at the bottom of his suit jacket. “I know people.”

“Yeah,” Carter says. Then he leans in to make his point. “Well so do I.”

James blows him off. “Yeah well I’m guessing the people you know aren’t exactly the good type,” he says.

“Can you two please calm down?” More neighbors come out of their homes to watch the spectacle.

“Want me to call 911, Iris?” Paul asks. I do a criss-cross motion with my hands. “No, no, Paul, everything’s fine, just . . . go to bed everyone.”

“Fuck you! You don’t know anything about me.” Carter’s face twists up with disgust as he points at my ex.

This is, of course, while I try to convince the neighborhood that we’re all adults here.

“Neither does Iris, which is precisely
my point.” James puts his hands up like Rocky. He thinks he’s won some battle of wits here; except he has none at this point.

“I’d really like to talk about this some other time, guys,” I say.

That’s when Carter throws out, “She doesn’t know you either though, does she James.”

“And if, wait, what?”

“Yeah,” James mimics me. “What?”

“Or maybe she does.” Carter is seething. “She just couldn’t prove it.”

I step in between the two men, forgetting all about the others now.

“What do mean by that, Carter?”

He still looks quite angry but when the two of us are standing there he only sees me and his expression changes. His shoulders relax. “I’m sorry, Iris, I didn’t mean to---”

“What, are you talking about?”

He peeks over at James, then back to me and takes a deep breath. “He’s sleeping with your neighbor.”

I’ve just been punched in the throat. “W . . .
what?
”

Sleeping? Neighbor? I almost laugh. Surely he’s joking.

“I wasn’t gonna tell you,” he says. “Being that it’s really none of my business and all. But this guy, Iris,” he waves a hand toward James, “he’s a dick!”

Did he say what I think he said? I stare over at James, looking for some sort of confirmation. Hoping for a denial.

“That’s bullshit,” James yells. He pulls his bottle backwards and takes a swing at Carter, missing him, thank God.

“Of course you’re not even man enough to admit it,” Carter says.

I’m still a bit dumbfounded by this information. “What neighbor?”

Naked Paul has made his way over to us and he’s trying to take James out of the equation but James pushes past him. “He’s full of shit Iris.”

“I don’t know if---“

“What. Neighbor?” I push Carter.

“Meg,” he finally concedes in telling me. Begrudgingly.

I shake my head and blink a few times. I’m dreaming this. This whole night is a dream. That’s it. Definitely punched in the throat.

Wake up, Iris.

“No,” I say. “You’re lying, she wouldn’t---“

“
She
?” James cuts me off with a look of surprise. “How about
I
wouldn’t! Izzie, you know how much I hate that bitch. Why in the hell would I even entertain the idea of---”

“Maybe you like the way I tie you up,” a woman’s voice cuts him off, mid-explanation and I don’t have to look to know who’s joined our discussion out here in the street.

It’s Meg. She’s standing there, determined and affronted with her fucking pink-fluff robe pulled tight around her waist. I think I’m going to be sick. I close my eyes. I want to wake up now.

“Wait.”

James points at Meg. “You fucking whore!”

“Screw you, James. It’s about time we told Iris, don’t you think, Sweetpea?”

I’m dizzy. And I can’t breathe.

“Iris?” someone says.

“I don’t need this shit.” James screams up to the sky. His words become muffled.

“Oh, you need it alright: you need it like I need you stop coming over for booty calls every third night of the week.”

Third night of the week.

Third night of the week?

When Meg says this, I recall back when James and I were together – how James always had to work late on the . . . “Third night.”

“What?” Carter asks me.

But I can’t look at him right now. I turn to my ex-husband with tears welling up. “How long has this been going on?”

I might have been able to handle it had they started seeing each other after the divorce. Eventually, maybe . . . but . . .

“James?”

He doesn’t answer me so I look to Meg. Her lip is quivering. Her eyes begin to well up with tears. “Don’t. Don’t you dare!”

“Iris.”

“Oh my God!”

“Mom?” Ally calls from the front door.

Oh, shit.

“Ally, go inside, honey.” My voice shakes.

“No,” James says. “I think it’s high time she spends more time with her old man. “Come on Ally bear; you’re gonna live with dad for a while.”

“No she’s not.” There’s no way he’s taking her from me. Not now.

“Yeah,” he laughs. “She is!”

Ally stands still. I’m sure she’s debating this inside her head, but overall, this is her big chance, to go live with her father and be rid of all my rules and nags and impatience once and for all.