Cora's Deception (9781476398280) (19 page)

Cora nodded while her throat tightened.

When they pulled apart, Mother touched her
hand. “Cora, I didn’t mean . . .”

Tears ran down Mother’s face. She’d torn her
handkerchief to shreds. Never had Cora seen her so agitated, and
that scared her.

“I never meant to hurt you, Cora.” Mother’s
back straightened. “My children mean everything to me. Something
died inside me when little Abigail was taken from us.” Her voice
broke. “I don’t think I can stand to lose another child.”

“Well, you pretty near did.” Father’s voice
was so hard.

Cora turned quickly. He never spoke to
Mother with anger.

“I know, and I deserve your contempt—all of
you.” She glanced at the rest of the family before looking at Cora.
“Especially you, Cora. I thought if you married Mr. Reid, you’d
stay here where I could see you whenever I wanted to. But if you go
with George, I may never see you again.”

Emotions surged through Cora. Anger,
betrayal, rebellion, giving way to love and understanding. Mother
was not unfeeling, as she’d thought. Instead, her love and fear had
been the catalyst for her harsh actions.

Cora held her hand out to her mother,
bringing a fresh release of tears down Mother’s cheeks. She clasped
Cora’s hand, almost hurting in her intensity. “I would’ve never
forced you against your will, had I known how strongly you
felt.”

Cora nodded. “I know that now, Mother.

“I’ll not stand in your way again. If you
and George want to be married, you have my blessing.”

Fresh pain twisted Cora’s heart, and she
couldn’t speak. George didn’t want her.

Mother turned toward Vickie. “I won’t stand
in your way either, Vickie. If you and John move away from here to
your own land, I’ll understand. I will help you in any way I
can.”

“Oh, Mother.” Vickie brushed her damp eyes.
She shared a look with John.

John cleared his throat. “Vickie and I have
talked about that. We’ve decided to wait two or three months before
we make a decision. We want to settle close by even then, unless
you mind having us in your way?”

Father nodded. “You’re welcome to stay right
here as long as you want. Just let us know what we can do to help
when you move.”

A brief smile touched John’s lips. “Thank
you, sir. There’s some land up the creek a ways not far from here
that looks pretty good. When Vickie’s able, we’re thinking about
taking a good look at it. You might be stuck with us for neighbors
yet.”

While the others talked, Cora sought Ben’s
attention. He smiled and knelt before her. With one arm around her
and another around their mother, he held them both close for
several moments. His action seemed to free the others, and before
long they were all hugging and talking at once.

Cora soaked up her family’s love. What had
possessed her to do something so stupid? What if she hadn’t stopped
when she did? If the bottle had been full, she might have died, and
for what? Simply because she hadn’t waited to talk to Father?

She leaned back against the sofa and closed
her eyes. She was so tired. Emptiness, like a yawning, dark hole
seemed to stretch out before her. What would she do now? Without
George, she had no purpose in life.

Chapter 15

B
en rode off on Flash, the new saddle horse he’d brought back
from St. Louis. Cora picked a long, green pod from her basket and
pinched one end, splitting it so her thumb found an entrance to
scoop the peas out into her cupped hand. If only she could’ve gone
with him, but Esther and Ben wouldn’t want her interfering in their
courtship. Just before he left, he said he still hadn’t told her
everything. She’d have to wait for his return to hear all he’d
learned about George.

She gave a soft laugh. Did she even want to
know?

The effects of the laudanum had gradually
worn off over night. Father said she hadn’t swallowed more than a
drop or two, or it would have killed her. Remorse filled her,
eating at her insides. How could she have given in to weakness and
thought death was the way out? She should’ve trusted her father’s
love more.

Father stepped on the porch while she
shelled peas. “Cora, are you certain you feel well?”

“Yes, Father. Only my head hurts a little
today.” She gave him a slight smile. “I’m sorry for what I
did.”

He swallowed and looked away. “I hate to
think what could’ve happened.”

“I know.” She whispered the words.

“Death is not an escape.”

Cora looked at Father, but he continued to
stare off across his land toward the creek. His voice, when he
spoke, was low. “I remember my mother praying for me. She always
said this life is but a dressing room for the life beyond. I’ve not
paid heed to her words. I’ve neglected the lessons of my youth.
Maybe this happened for a reason, Cora. Maybe we should all take
note and learn what we do now is important when our life does come
to an end.”

Never had she heard Father talk so
seriously. He loved fun and laughter. What had she done? Not only
to herself but to the rest of her family. Remorse filled her
soul.

She touched his arm. “Father, I’ve learned.
Please don’t be sad because I’ll never do such a thing again. Even
as I took the medicine, I regretted my actions and tried not to
swallow it. I’m fine now. There’s no reason to worry. It won’t
happen again. I’m so sorry.”

He gathered her into his strong arms and
patted her back while tears ran down her cheeks. Then he kissed her
forehead and smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. We couldn’t get along
without our Cora, you know.”

A laugh that was part sob came from her
throat. She smiled and brushed at her wet lashes. “I know. I love
you, Father.”

He kissed her again and stood. “I love you,
Cora. I’ll get out of your way so you can get your peas
shelled.”

She watched him walk with strong strides
across the yard toward the shelter. She’d hurt him, and she was
sorry for that. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. She’d never mistrust
him again. She picked up another pea pod and pinched the end.

Eliza came out of the house. “How are you
feeling?”

She gave her little sister a smile. How many
times had she been asked that question? “I’m fine. Really I
am.”

Eliza gathered her lap full of peas and
began shelling them. “You really scared me, Cora.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Cora whispered the
words. What could she say? She’d let fear and hurt control her
emotions until she’d lost all reason. Mother’s possessive fear had
pushed her and Mother both into actions they would regret for the
rest of their lives.

“Just don’t do anything like that
again.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

Cora’s hands kept busy while her mind
relived the day before. Ben telling her what he’d learned. So
George had found someone else. Her hands stilled, waiting for the
sharp pang of jealousy to hit. Nothing happened. Had she so quickly
forgotten her best friend, the man she wanted to marry? She brought
George’s image to mind. He pulled her toward the shed in back of
their house in St. Louis. She saw them running and then inside the
shed, but like a magician’s trick, George’s scowling face faded,
molding into the firm, lean lines that made Aaron so appealing.

In her vision, Aaron’s bright blue eyes
sought hers, and he smiled. Her heart leapt.

“Cora!” Eliza grabbed her arm.

“What?” Had her face betrayed her thoughts?
Heat crept into Cora’s cheeks.

“Isn’t that Ralph?” Eliza pointed toward the
woods. A dark silhouette moved toward them.

Ralph had been to dinner three times while
Father and Ben were gone. Why couldn’t he ever bring his older
brother?

As soon as the thought bounced into her
mind, Cora shoved it aside. Her future was as empty as a brand new
slate. She needed time to learn what Ben had to tell her first then
she needed to let all the changes work out in her life before she
thought of what might lie ahead.

“Oh, it is Ralph.” Eliza breathed the words.
She tossed a handful of unshelled peas into the basket and stood.
“Let’s walk out to meet him.”

Cora finished the peas on her lap and
reached for the few Eliza threw back. “We can if you’ll take this
inside. Mother wouldn’t appreciate us leaving five pods to wilt in
the basket.”

She stripped the peas and added them to the
others in the bowl. “Here, hurry now before he gets here.”

Eliza grabbed the bowl and swung around
through the door. Cora stood and shaded her eyes. It was Ralph all
right. “Ben’s coming too.” Cora stepped off the porch as Eliza
joined her.

Eliza lifted her hand to wave at Ralph. “I
don’t think Ben knows Ralph’s been calling on me. Won’t he be
surprised?”

Cora couldn’t help but smile. Eliza was so
infatuated with the handsome young man that her happiness was
contagious. “I don’t know why Ben should be surprised. If there
were any other young men hidden away in this wilderness, Ralph
would have more competition than he could handle.”

Eliza’s cheeks flushed. “I don’t know about
that.”

“Well, I do.” Cora shook her head. Why had
she complimented Eliza instead of throwing out a barb as she
usually did? She walked beside her sister, soaking up their unusual
camaraderie.

Ben quickly caught up with Ralph, and
dismounted to lead his horse. The two young men reached the girls
at the same time.

“Howdy.” Ralph’s quick grin swept the three
young people before settling on Ben. “I ain’t seen you in a coon’s
age. Have a good trip?”

Ben’s smile seemed strained. Maybe he didn’t
want Ralph there. He nodded. “Yes, our trip was very successful,
thank you.”

Cora met his gaze. He looked tired.
Something must have happened at Esther’s. She opened her mouth to
ask, but he spoke first. “As soon as I take care of Flash, I need
to talk to you, Cora. Will you wait outside for me?”

Cora nodded. “Yes, of course.”

Ben led his horse toward the shelter that
Father had turned into a barn to house the animals. Cora turned
back to Ralph and Eliza. She’d find out what was wrong with Ben
later.

Ralph let out a low whistle. “What’d you do,
have a tussle with someone’s fist?”

Cora touched the bruise that covered her
cheek. “I fell against Father’s chair. It’s just a bruise.”

“Pretty good shiner from the looks of it.”
Ralph grinned.

Eliza tugged on his arm, and they walked
away. Cora waited until they got ahead before going to meet Ben
outside the shelter.

He frowned. “I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting
so long. I know you’re anxious to hear about George. I should’ve
stayed home and talked to you.”

Something was wrong with him. He looked so
dismal. “It’s all right, Ben. I had some work to do, anyway. Were
you able to see Esther?”

An expression she couldn’t read flitted
through her brother’s eyes. He nodded. “Yeah, I saw her. So are you
ready to hear all about George?”

“I suppose.” Cora sighed. The weight of a
boulder seemed to press against her soul. She’d caused this sadness
by her inane actions, but must she continue to carry the load of
her foolishness? At the moment, she didn’t care if she ever heard
George’s name again.

Ben leaned against the shelter. “I went to
see the Merrills while we were in St. Louis. They send their love.
They both said they miss us.”

“That was nice of them.” Cora watched a
beetle cross in front of her toe.

“Do you remember Flanna Murphy, Cora? She
worked as a maid for the Merrills.”

Cora looked up. “You mean the little, shy,
redheaded girl?”

“Yes, you do remember her then.”

Cora nodded. “She was always so quiet. She
seemed more like part of the furnishings than a real person. She’d
slip from one place to another as if she didn’t want anyone to see
her.”

Ben jammed his hands into his pockets. An
angry light shone from his eyes. “George saw her.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry, Cora.” Ben’s expression
softened, and he shook his head. “I shouldn’t tell you this. It’s
isn’t proper, but you need to know.”

He looked into the distance behind her. “The
Merrills have a new maid. She came in while I was there. She’s an
older woman. Mrs. Merrill told Father and me she had to let Flanna
go. I found out later it was because she was with child.”

“I didn’t know Flanna was married.” Cora
frowned.

“She isn’t.”

“Then who—”

Ben met the question she couldn’t ask with a
frown. “I heard rumors—not at the Merrill’s, of course—but from
some old friends.” He looked away again as if he couldn’t bear to
see her reaction. “George’s mother threatened to put Flanna out in
the street to make her own way. Mr. Merrill took pity on her and
sent her to his brother’s family in Philadelphia. They agreed to
see to her care and that she has a job with them after the baby’s
born.”

The little Irish girl had been so shy. She
couldn’t have . . . Surely she wasn’t so sinful. Flashes of memory
told Cora what Ben didn’t want to say. George watching Flanna,
following her from the room. Flanna’s fear of George, how she
always avoided him. Flanna running away with tear-filled eyes once
when Cora came upon her and George unexpectedly.

Cora gasped. How had she been so blind,
always believing George’s excuses? Flanna carried George’s baby.
Ben didn’t need to tell her more. She stiffened her back. “I’m
surprised George didn’t come here, anyway.”

“According to the talk, his mother insisted
he go to law school back east.” Ben turned anguished eyes on Cora.
“I didn’t know all this when I sent your letter on to him. Believe
me, Cora, if I’d known, I wouldn’t have sent it.”

Cora shrugged. “Oh, well, it doesn’t really
matter.” But it did matter. It bothered her that George would read
her words of love.