Read Could This Be Love? Online
Authors: Lee Kilraine
Because if she couldn’t push the mistakes from her past out of her head in order to make room in her bed for last year’s Sexiest Man Alive, then it was never going to happen.
So, tonight, her plan was to grab this part of her life back. To stop letting ghosts have so much control. For this one night, she was going to stop thinking and give her body over to this gorgeous man. Her Hollywood experiences had left her numb and hollowed out. For five long years. Yet, with his first glance, this man had reawakened her senses and filled her insides with hot, sensuous yearning.
“Sijan. Please don’t stop.” She gazed into his face, determined to make this work. Leaning in, she placed a breath of a kiss against his lips and whispered, “I need you so bad. And I want you more than I need you. I really am ready.”
His gaze searched hers. Then he nodded and cupped his hands around her face. “Okay, but hold that thought, honey, because I need a little more time. I’m high maintenance like that.” He kissed each eyelid, her nose, and the corner of her mouth. Closing her eyes and shutting out all her thoughts, she gave herself over to the tidal wave of sensations Sijan sent crashing over her body.
He worked his way down her throat to lavish more time on her breasts, kissing the sensitive underside of each. Then he caught one nipple between his thumb and finger, adding a hint of pressure before lathing it with his tongue and sucking it between his lips. Her stifled moan urged him on, and he sucked a little harder, causing her next moan to escape unabridged.
She watched Sijan push up and off her, felt the glide of silk as he peeled her panties down her legs. He stood at the foot of the bed, unzipped, and shucked off his jeans and boxer briefs. It was obvious he didn’t really need more time. But he took more anyway. For her. He reached out his hands to worship her body. When the panic tried to push her over the edge into a free fall, she closed her eyes, forcing herself to focus on his touch, desperate to grab a normal sex life back.
Don’t think. Just feel
. He caressed his hands and lips up a fiery path from her toes to the sensitive arches of her feet and ankles. He slowed for a light nibble, a short layover at the soft spot on the inside of her knee, while he moved his hands up along her inner thighs, and up, until he rested between them. More. She wanted more.
He made love to the core of her and her brain shut off. Thinking was no longer a problem. It also wasn’t an option. Her nerve endings worked overtime though. His lips were firm and his tongue slow, and her inhibitions gone. She shimmied her hips and tugged at his hair to direct him exactly where she needed him. When she quivered on the edge of going supernova, he used his fingers too. And she was gone. She shuddered and cried out, splintering apart into a million little pieces.
He moved up her body and covered her fully, setting off sparks along her already overwhelmed nerve endings.
“I . . . oh, my . . . I’ve never . . .” She shook her head, still winded and flushed.
“Well, that’s what I’d figured. But wait. There’s more.” He wiggled his eyebrows, making her laugh, but they both got serious when he reached for the condom on the night table. He paused, his eyes searching her face. “Still with me? You’re in total control. You can still say no.”
“Yes.” She watched him rip the condom open with his teeth and roll it on. He hissed in a sharp breath when she reached down to help, then moved his body against hers. She felt the power and heat of his muscular body above her, waiting yet restrained. She looked up into his silver gaze. “I’m saying yes.”
Like a slow, necessary breath, he slid into her, his movements slow and sure. With dawning amazement, she knew this was like nothing she’d ever experienced before. He pushed her higher, leading them together in a driving rhythm, and when she cried out a second time, he thrust hard, a groan of pleasure escaping his lips as he followed her.
Sijan took care of the condom, then eased them both over until they once again lay face-to-face, still fighting for breath. Her gaze flicked up to his face, but she focused instead on his chest as she floated back to earth.
“I’d say we both crossed the finish line.”
“Oh boy, did I ever. I finally understand why sex is so popular.” Her lips formed a lopsided smile. “I thought orgasms were like unicorns—pure fantasy, like the G-spot.”
“It was the jerks you slept with. Stop sleeping with jerks.” Sijan lightly slapped her behind, then pulled her leg up to drape around his hips. “Now, let’s find your G-spot.”
She popped her head up in surprise as he got to work. “That’s a real thing, too?”
“Honey, it’s not just a real thing.” He watched her face closely with each move of his fingers. “Tonight, with our chemistry, it’s a
sure
thing.”
It was.
Chapter Eight
A
very woke the next morning feeling like she’d had her own mini sexual revolution. Unburdened and brand new. She felt a little bit like Dorothy when she found out she’d always had the power to go home all along. Orgasms, and G-spots, and shower sex. Oh, my. She’d swear it was a dream, but the gorgeous specimen of a man wrapped around her made it real. She opened her eyes to look at him and found him awake. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself. I’ve got to get going. I promised my brother I’d help him rehab a house today.” He smoothed her hair back from her face. “I’d like to see you again tonight.”
“What? No . . . that’s not a good idea.” Avery sat up, struggling to tuck the sheet securely around herself. The problem with the morning light was how much clearer she could see the obstacles and warning signs.
“That frown on your face tells me you’re overthinking this.” He got up out of the bed, grabbed his boxers and jeans off the floor, and stepped into them. “Did you enjoy last night?”
“You know I did.” Darn her pale complexion. She could never coolly bluff her way through being embarrassed because of it.
“All I’m asking is if you want to spend more time together. That’s all. If you thought you learned a lot last night, well, honey, we only scratched the surface. I’ve got a lot more to teach you.” He pointed his finger at her. “There’s up-against-the-wall sex, chair sex, bondage sex, light spanking sex, multiple-orgasm sex. I mean, I could bring my copy of the
Kama Sutra
and we’d be busy for ten years.”
The fact that her breathing hitched and a warm flush coursed through her body as she listened to Sijan list off an exotic menu of sex meant she was normal, right? She’d be crazy if she didn’t react. This was one seriously sexy man who knew what he was doing in the bedroom. She watched his muscles ripple as he slipped into his shirt. It should be against the law to cover up a six-pack like that.
“It’s not you, it’s—complicated.” The sexual chemistry between the two of them had pushed everything else to the side. Avery figured it would only take one glance at their photo in the tabloid to refresh Sijan’s memory. Their temporary truce could only stretch so far. And she didn’t want to tempt fate any more than she had to. So far, none of the paparazzi had recognized her, and she planned to keep it that way. As soon as the photo appeared in the tabloid, she needed to exit the spotlight.
Which meant the smartest plan was to end this. Now. She’d come close to losing her soul in Hollywood before the tender age of twenty-one. She may be older and wiser now, but this time the organ at stake might be her heart.
“We’re two adults enjoying each other’s company. What’s the worst that could happen?”
The worst that could happen?
I could fall for you.
“How about we skip the photo op today and go out for a drink instead? We can even invite Pia and one of my brothers to act as a buffer.” Sijan sat back up and shot her that famous dimpled bad-boy grin. He picked up the fluffy white hotel robe from the back of the chair and walked over to the bed, where he drew her up on her knees, leaving the sheet puddled around her. Slowly, he drew the robe up her arms and around her, leaving a trail of kisses as he went, tying the belt around her waist. His hands cupped her jaw as he stared into her eyes. He leaned forward, nibbling a fiery path along her neck. “Just drinks, without the complication.”
“Drinks?” Avery’s brain function derailed with the firm touch of Sijan’s lips. Obviously last night had proven dinner with Sijan made her easy. But drinks? Drinks were safe, right? Oh, lord, one hot glance from Sijan had her melting like a chocolate bar on the surface of the sun. Drinks with Sijan might be about as safe as a picnic with a starving bear. The earth revolved faster when Sijan was in her orbit. She needed to slow it down or, better yet, slingshot herself to the opposite side of space.
Sijan opened the hotel room door to leave and almost ran into Pia, who had her hand up, poised to knock. “Hello there, handsome. Why am I not surprised to see you still here?”
He raised an eyebrow at Pia. “Because last night you texted me from Tynan’s phone, ‘If you’re going to do this, do it right, or I’ll track you down and remove something vital.’ ”
Pia peeked over Sijan’s shoulder to look at Avery’s face. “Good job. I like a man who can follow directions. You have my permission to return.” She moved past Sijan to drop her purse in the nearest chair.
“Thanks, but you’re not the one who counts.” His hot liquid-silver gaze latched on to Avery’s. “Think about it.”
Avery stayed frozen with her hands to her lips until the door shut closed behind him; then she fell back on the bed with a squeal, dragging a pillow over her face to muffle the sound. She lowered the pillow when the bed dipped next to her. Pia lay stretched out on her side with her head propped up on her hand, grinning. “Nice night?”
“Why didn’t you tell me sex could be like that? Pia, you can’t withhold the secrets of the universe from your best friend.” Her heart wanted to sing and dance around the room, only her body was too tired.
“After the experiences you had, I didn’t think you’d believe me,” Pia said. “And, honey, you just got tutored by an expert, if the gossip mags have their facts right. Sadly, not all men know what they’re doing in that department. Don’t use him as a yardstick to measure other men by. Um, so to speak.”
Avery sat up in bed. “Are you saying he’s ruined me for other men?”
Pia sat up even quicker. “Oh, lord, I didn’t think of that. Well, no, because you can take everything you learn from Sijan Cates and teach another guy, right?”
“I guess.” Only Avery couldn’t imagine having an experience like last night with anyone else. The lovely afterglow she’d woken up with dissipated.
Well, rats.
She got out of bed, tightening the belt on her robe. “He wants to see me again tonight. I told him it was a bad idea.”
“Why would you tell him that?”
“Because it’s a bad idea. And because I couldn’t catch my breath and then I couldn’t think. And . . .”
“And?”
“And I’m an idiot, aren’t I? We’re both adults. We’re just exploring the amazing chemistry between us. That’s all. It’s purely physical. And . . .”
“And?”
“And I deserved an orgasm, right?”
“Every woman does.”
“The thing is, there were times yesterday when it felt more than just physical, and times last night when he was so—well, you know.”
“No I don’t, but I’m very interested. And jealous. How about this? For once in your life, put yourself first. Don’t worry about Tansy. Her test results are still days away and she’s off at the beach with Cory.”
“Rory. I don’t know, Pia. I’m a very good worrier.” Avery laughed, but deep inside she could feel a seed of doubt sprouting.
“Avery, promise me, just for once, be selfish. Right now, there is nothing else you can do for Tansy. Take one more night for you.”
“For me?”
“Yes, for you, dummy. Don’t think tonight. Just feel.”
Don’t think. Just feel.
That’s exactly what she had done last night.
“Surely you can enjoy yourself for twenty-four more hours with the world’s sexiest man.”
“Boy, can I. It’s just that the potential for disaster is high.” Avery ran her hands through her hair and began pacing behind the couch. “Especially when I consider that I may need a back-up plan to my back-up plan to help Tansy.”
“Oh, that reminds me . . .” Pia slipped off the bed and moved back to the chair where she’d dropped her purse. Reaching in, she pulled out a newspaper and held it up for Avery to see the front cover. “Voila. Mission accomplished.”
“What? Uh-oh.” The photograph was stunning. Sijan exuded the sex appeal that helped make him famous, and she had to admit she looked pretty good snuggled up next to him. Avery crossed her arms, rubbing her hands up and down her upper arms. She tore her focus from the paper to look at Pia. “Well, now I don’t have to worry about spending another night with him. I think last night he sort of forgot how we met. One look at that and Sijan will get mad all over again.”
“I think that man is feeling a lot of emotions about you, but mad isn’t one of them.” Pia tossed the paper onto the coffee table and sat down. “Tynan, on the other hand, might be pissed, and he’s got his brother’s back. But not to worry, because I’ve got yours.”
“Did you sleep with him?” Not like Avery thought she was the morality police or anything. Heck, hadn’t she melted right into bed with Sijan?
Pia’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “Hell, no. That man scares even me. I did something better. I became his drinking buddy. By the way, got any aspirin? I could use a bottle.”
Avery retrieved the aspirin out of her suitcase. Handing it to Pia, she frowned. “I’m sorry, Pia. Because of me you’ve lied and stalked, and now you’re binge drinking. Maybe it’s time for another plan altogether.”
“Av, lighten up. You’ve done the hard part. Now we just have to wait for Michelle and Bob to call.” She tossed back some aspirin with a water chaser. “Besides, I know you only see the best in people, but here is where I confess I was already doing all that stuff. I’m a bad, bad girl.”
A knock on the hotel room door interrupted. Avery opened the door to find her sister Tansy, still a hot wilted mess of her normal self.