Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook (28 page)

— Chest pain or discomfort (feels like you’re having a heart attack)

— Chills or hot flashes (feels like you
must
get to the hospital)

— Choking sensation, difficulty swallowing (feels like your throat is closing)

— Cold hands, tingling sensation (feels like you’re going numb)

— Detached sensation (feels like you’re losing touch with reality)

— Dizziness, lightheaded (feels like you might faint)

— Fear of losing control (feels like you’re going crazy)

— Hyperventilating, shortness of breath (feels like you’re being smothered)

— Nausea, diarrhea, or abdominal pain and cramping (feels like a life-threatening disease)

— Rapid heart rate, pounding heartbeat (feels like your heart is going to jump out of your chest)

— Sweating, excessive perspiration (feels like you’re a huge embarrassment)

— Terror of dying (feels like you’re
sure
to die)

— Trembling or shaking (feels like you’re doomed)

With abnormal fear you’re not as afraid of the object of your fear as the symptoms of that fear.
⁴
And, indeed, your fear is great. You experience the same feelings Job did: “Terrors overwhelm me; my dignity is driven away as by the wind, my safety vanishes like a cloud” (Job 30:15).

— Financial security: “If I don’t do well on this presentation, I might lose my job.”

— Physical safety: “If I drive too far from home, I could have an accident.”

— Physical health: “If I’m not careful about what I touch, eat, and drink, I may get sick and lose my job.”

— Possessions: “If I lose my home, I’ll have nowhere to live.”

Your Solution:
Learn that your security is in your personal relationship with the Lord.

“In God I trust; I will not be afraid
.
What can man do to me?”

(P
SALM
56:11).

— Identity: “If I lose my position at work, I’ll lose all I have worked for. Then what reason will I have to live?”

— Self-esteem: “If I embarrass myself in front of the staff, I’ll never be able to go back to work.”

— Reputation: “If anyone finds out about my compulsive washing, I’ll lose face.”

— Self-fulfillment: “If I don’t complete my education and accomplish all my life goals, I’ll be a failure.”

Your Solution:
Understand you’re so significant the Lord chose to save you.

“God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The L
ORD
, the L
ORD
, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation”

(I
SAIAH
12:2).

— Primary relationship: “If I lose my husband, I don’t know if I could go on living.”

— Talents and abilities: “If I can’t perform on stage, I will lose my fans and be all alone.”

— Physical attractiveness: “If I start looking older and put on weight, I’ll lose the affection of my spouse.”

— Position in a relationship: “If I don’t perform better than the newcomers, I’ll lose my position of respect.”

Your Solution:
Learn you are loved beyond compare by the Lord.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”

(I
SAIAH
41:10).

Know that it is not God’s will for you to cower before fear, or to coddle it, but to conquer it—by faith. The path to recovery includes the steps that will move you onto the Road to Transformation.

Begin
with a healthy fear (awe) of God by believing…

— God created you because He loves you.

— God has a purpose and plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11).

— God has the right to have authority over you.

— God wants you to entrust your life to Him.

— God has the power to change you.

— God will keep your mind safe as you trust in Him.

“The fear of the L
ORD
is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline”

(P
ROVERBS
1:7).

Be aware
living in a state of fear is not part of God’s plan for you because fear-based thinking is…

— not trusting God.

— not appropriating the grace of God.

— keeping you in bondage to fear.

— physically, emotionally, and spiritually damaging.

“In God I trust; I will not be afraid
.
What can mortal man do to me?”

(P
SALM
56:4).

Be willing
to analyze your fear honestly in order to discover the real source of it.

— Rejection?

— Failure?

— Financial loss?

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the L
ORD
is kept safe”

(P
ROVERBS
29:25).

Be aware
of the power of God’s love for you. It provides you…

— complete acceptance.

— a realization of your value.

— the power to overcome fear.

— true security.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness”

(J
EREMIAH
31:3).

Be committed
to developing your faith in the Lord. Be…

— active in a Bible study.

— in daily prayer, truly talking with God.

— active in a local church that teaches the Word of God.

— committed to memorizing and meditating on God’s Word.

— obedient to God’s promptings in your spirit.

“His delight is in the law of the L
ORD
,
and on his law he meditates day and night”

(P
SALM
1:2).

Be involved
with other believers. Be…

— engaged with Christians.

— willing to testify to God’s faithfulness in your life.

— focused on serving others.

— aware there is a twofold responsibility (Christ’s and yours) in doing anything.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another”

(P
ROVERBS
27:17).

Begin using
truth from God’s Word to rein in your imagination the moment it starts spinning out of control.

— “When I am afraid, I will trust in you” (Psalm 56:3).

— “The L
ORD
is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The L
ORD
is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1).

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble”

(P
SALM
46:1).

Be willing
to face the situations you fear through faith in the power of Christ.

— Know Christ is always ready to respond.

— Acknowledge His actual presence and seek His help.

— Give your fear to Him and receive His powerful love.

— Act in love toward others by focusing on their needs.

“The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it”

(1 T
HESSALONIANS
5:24).

Become free
from your fear and strengthened in your faith. Become more…

— trusting.

— peaceful.

— thankful.

— Christlike.

“Just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness”

(C
OLOSSIANS
2:6-7).

Don’t
become impatient when you don’t understand the person’s fear. Understand that what fearful people
feel
is
real
.

“A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly”

(P
ROVERBS
14:29).

Don’t
think the person is doing this for attention. Realize he or she is embarrassed and wants to change.

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do”

(R
OMANS
7:15).

Don’t
be critical or use demeaning statements. Be gentle and supportive. Build up the person’s self-confidence.

“Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing”

(1 T
HESSALONIANS
5:11).

Don’t
assume you know what is best. Ask how you can help.

“We urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone”

(1 T
HESSALONIANS
5:14).

Don’t
make the person face a threatening situation without planning. Give him or her instruction in positive self-talk and relaxation exercises.

“Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life”

(P
ROVERBS
4:13).

Don’t
make the person face the situation alone. Be there and assure him or her of your support.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”