Covet (29 page)

‘Christ, mate, you have
got
to get this situation under control immediately,’ he scolded himself. ‘You’re turning into some sort of pervert now, touching women’s underthings as though they were actually on her body. Remember that you’re a thirty-seven year old man, that you’re the bloody director of an entire region of luxury hotels, that you can have most any woman you fancy just by blinking an eye. Your obsession with this girl is damned unhealthy, and it’s going to drive you mad if you don’t get over it right away. She’s a married woman, and Tessa is never, ever going to belong to you. The sooner you accept that the sooner you can get on with the rest of your life.’

But Ian feared that no matter how many mental pep talks he gave himself, no matter how many other women he dated, or how much time eventually passed, that his fixation with his golden girl wasn’t going to go away anytime soon.

“I’m afraid that isn’t an acceptable choice. You’ll need to have one of the others fill in while you’re on vacation.”

Andrew blinked a couple of times in surprise at the vehement tone in Ian’s voice. “I’m not sure I understand, Mr. Gregson. I would have thought you’d be pleased at the idea of Tessa filling in at my desk. She’s the hardest worker among the team, sir, and she’s doing all of the spreadsheets now along with several other reports. I just assumed - “

“You assumed wrong, Andrew,” replied Ian sternly. “Yes, she’s done an excellent job thus far but that still doesn’t make her qualified to fill in for you. I’d prefer that she had several more months of experience here before we trust her with such an important job.”

It was on the tip of Andrew’s tongue to argue his case further, but from the tight, almost angry set of Ian’s mouth, as well as the cold expression in his hazel eyes, he tactfully let the matter drop. “Whatever you say, Mr. Gregson. Unfortunately, Marisol will also be out at the same time so that leaves us to choose between Gina, Alicia, and Kevin. Shelby, as you know, is simply not trustworthy enough.”

“Kevin,” stated Ian bluntly. “Assign the task to him. Just be sure to remind him to keep the incessant chattering to a minimum, all right? Otherwise, I expect he’ll do a satisfactory job.”

“Of course, sir. I’ll speak to him about it this afternoon. Will there be anything else at the moment?”

Ian shook his head. “That’s all for now. I need to go over my notes for that three o’clock conference call. Let me know when it’s been set up, hmm?”

He picked up the notes and began to glance them over, and Andrew took the hint as he left the office without another word. It was only then when Ian scrubbed a hand over his face wearily, hoping that he hadn’t sounded like too much of an ass just now. Or, worse, given Andrew cause to suspect the real reason he couldn’t have Tessa filling in as his PA.

God, it was bad enough walking past her cubicle several times each day – trying his damndest to resist glancing in her direction - or having her in the same room during one of the meetings she was responsible for overseeing. There was no way on this earth that he would be able to deal with working so closely with her, eight to ten hours a day, for an entire week. Even his famed powers of control would be severely tested, to the point where Ian honestly couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t give himself away – wouldn’t be able to resist pulling her into his arms and kissing her senseless, then confessing how she was all he thought about, all he wanted.

And such a thing could never happen, not while she worked on his support team, and definitely not while she was married to another man. He would never, ever attempt to seduce her away from her husband, to tempt her into betraying her marriage vows, and he sure as hell wouldn’t consent to being the other man or to having a forbidden, secret affair with her. Tessa was too fine, too decent to even consider such a thing, while he was too much of a stuffy British gentleman to ever be so ill-bred.

Best to keep her at a distance, he assured himself, and to let her and the others think that she wasn’t experienced or qualified enough to take over Andrew’s duties temporarily. He would rather she thought him a cold, distant bastard like most everyone else did than to ever suspect the truth – that he’d recently begun to fear his obsession with her was becoming worse with each passing day. And that what had begun as a mere infatuation had now turned into a deep, unbreakable love.

“Oh, Peter! Isn’t all of this lovely? It’s like a palace in here or something.”

Peter smiled indulgently at his wide-eyed wife, pleased to see how happy Tessa was this evening, and telling himself that it had been worth letting her cajole him into attending this holiday party with her tonight simply to see the joy on her lovely face. “It’s pretty fancy, that’s for sure. Good thing you talked me into wearing a tie. I would have really felt out of place otherwise.”

He resisted the urge to tug at the unfamiliar feel of the tie around his neck. It had taken him several attempts to get the thing knotted correctly, this being maybe the fourth time in his entire life he’d had to wear one. The dark suit he wore was technically a mismatched pair of trousers and a jacket that was at least close to the same shade, and he wished now that he’d let Tessa have it pressed for him.

But it wouldn’t have mattered, he thought resignedly, because he would have still stuck out like a sore thumb among all of these well-dressed, perfectly groomed men. No one else, he noticed grimly, wore their hair long enough to pull back into a ponytail like he did, and none of them seemed to have a pierced ear like his. He felt ill at ease in the unfamiliar clothes, and even more so amidst all of this glitz and elegance. He longed to be back in their tiny apartment, watching a movie and eating pizza, wearing a pair of well-worn jeans or sweats. He certainly didn’t belong in these sort of high class surroundings, and tried with all his might not to feel claustrophobic as he often did with so many people in one room.

Tessa, on the other hand, was positively glowing with happiness, and he decided that any discomfort he might endure tonight would be worth it just to see her this way. He’d been worried sick about her these past couple of weeks during his last minute trip to Taiwan. He was supposed to have had a three week break after returning from Thailand just before Thanksgiving, but had been obliged to fly out again just two days after the holiday for a breaking story. Tessa had been upset at being left alone again so soon, and had seemed deeply depressed each time she’d replied to one of his emails.

So he hadn’t had the heart to refuse when she had pleaded with him to attend her company’s holiday party, even when he’d realized the dress code was far more formal than he was used to. Many of the men present this evening were wearing tuxedos, making Peter feel like even more of an uncouth bumpkin than he already did.

He knew that Tessa’s own dress and shoes hadn’t been expensive – terrified as she was of overextending their lean budget and always reluctant to treat herself to anything. But Peter had realized from the first time he’d met Tessa that she had the sort of figure that would always look amazing in anything she wore. At sixteen she’d already been a knockout; now, at twenty-two, she was gorgeous, and it didn’t surprise him in the least to notice how many men were staring at her. It was something he’d grown used to over the years, along with all of the curious and disbelieving looks he had received when they had been out together.

They made quite the odd couple, he and Tess, even though she hotly denied it. But Peter was neither blind nor naïve, and he knew quite well that everywhere they went people must scratch their heads in bewilderment at what a stunning girl like Tessa saw in a pale, skinny, and hopelessly awkward guy like him. She could have any man she wanted in this room tonight – single or otherwise – and yet here she was sticking to his side like glue, her arm looped through his as though they were crazy in love.

Peter knew that
he
was really the crazy one – crazy for not being able to fully appreciate and savor his beautiful wife. A guy like him would never, ever be able to land a girl like her under normal circumstances, and he was well aware of how lucky he was. Unfortunately, he was such a head case that the likelihood of ever having what passed for a normal sexual relationship with Tess – or anyone, for that matter – was about as farfetched as winning a billion dollar lottery. Even now, he had to grit his teeth just a little as she continued to clutch his arm against her, and he had to ease himself away a bit so their bodies didn’t touch.

It had been longer than he cared to think about since they had tried having sex –
tried
being the operative word. He could probably count the number of times on one hand that he’d actually lasted long enough to ejaculate inside of her, and not all that many others when he had even been able to manage an erection. But he was a fucked up, dysfunctional mess, after all, and it was a small miracle that he’d been able to handle even that much physical contact.

Tessa had urged him to talk to someone, to get professional help. She had excellent health insurance working for the Gregson Group, but even with that the plan only paid around thirty percent for mental health services. As good-hearted as Tess was – always the little mother, as he liked to tease her – she had offered to take on a weekend job in order to pay for counseling sessions for him. He’d flat-out refused to let her make such a sacrifice, especially when he wasn’t at all sure he could actually talk to someone about the years of abuse he had suffered at the hands of that sick bastard uncle of his. Whenever he even thought about vocalizing what had happened, he was filled with a cold, clammy sense of dread, and usually always had a nightmare as a result.

But he wasn’t going to think about any of that crap tonight, he told himself firmly. Tonight was all about Tess, and making sure she had a good time. She did without so many little pleasures, sacrificed so much for him, that suffering through this party was the least he could do for her.

A tuxedoed waiter stopped in front of them, carrying a tray of fine crystal champagne flutes. Peter plucked one of the flutes from the tray and handed it to Tessa, shaking his head when the waiter began to hand him a second.

“Just the one, thanks,” he replied lightly. “I’m the designated driver tonight.”

Tessa rolled her eyes as the waiter walked away. “We’re taking a taxi home, as you’re well aware. And I don’t need to drink this. You know I don’t mind.”

He shook his head. “I know you don’t. But it’s your holiday party and you deserve to enjoy yourself. Relax, I won’t let you get tipsy. And it honestly doesn’t bother me to see you have a drink once in awhile. Just because I abstain doesn’t mean you always have to.”

With two alcoholics for parents, as well as at least one grandparent, Peter continued to fear that he’d inherited the gene for the disease. And since he already had far too many emotional issues to deal with, he wasn’t prepared to take the risk that he, too, could very easily fall into the pits of alcoholism.

“Okay.” Tessa relented, taking a small, dainty sip of the champagne. “Mmm, this is definitely good stuff, though. Not like I’m any sort of expert, that is.”

Peter smiled. “I can almost guarantee that it’s pricey stuff. I mean, look at this place, would you? I would wager a guess that no expense has been spared tonight.”

This
place was the grand ballroom at the Gregson Hotel on Nob Hill, one of the priciest and most elegant pieces of real estate in the entire city. The huge room was decorated in gold striped wallpaper, with polished oak floors, high ceilings, and glittering crystal chandeliers. The dozens of round tables had been set with cream linen covers and gold brocade runners, with settings of fine china, crystal, and silver at each place. Each table held a lavish floral centerpiece, and the entire room reminded Peter of something out of the Gilded Age – the sort of extravagant social event that would have been held in a Newport, Rhode Island mansion, and attended by the cream of society.

Tessa nodded as she took another tiny sip of champagne. “I can vouch for that. All of us helped with organizing the party and I saw some of the invoices that came through. You wouldn’t believe how much all of this cost. We certainly didn’t have parties like this back in Tucson.”

The Gregson resort in Tucson where she’d worked for three years was admittedly very different from this grand, majestic big city hotel. The Arizona property was exceptionally posh, but overall it had a more casual vibe to it. Guests had flocked there for sun and leisure, making use of the resort’s world renowned golf courses, tennis facilities, and spa. It had been very much a vacation and convention destination, whereas the San Francisco hotel seemed to be patronized by many of the local residents as well as travelers, and had a more sophisticated feel to it.

Tessa proudly introduced him to the other five members of her team, and Peter didn’t miss any of the appraising looks her co-workers gave him – ranging from disbelief to derision to outright amusement. And he also didn’t miss the jealous glare directed Tessa’s way by the haughty, rather nasty blonde who had been introduced as Alicia. In the years he’d known her, Tessa had had very few girlfriends, something she blamed on her almost crippling shyness. But Peter suspected that most women would feel threatened by someone as beautiful as his wife, would not want to exist in her shadow or be unfavorably compared to her, and he wasn’t the least surprised that most of her co-workers weren’t especially friendly.