Covet (4 page)

The firefighter patted her soothingly on the shoulder as a fresh bout of weeping overcame her, but he didn’t seem able to find the right words to comfort her. He seemed all too happy to leave her in the hands of the Red Cross volunteer who’d been busy making temporary arrangements for Tessa and many of the other displaced tenants. Through her tears, Tessa accepted some sort of voucher for a motel room a few miles away, and was assured she’d be able to stay there for a week or so until more permanent housing could be found.

“We’ll have additional Red Cross staff on site when you arrive,” the volunteer informed her. “They’ll probably be in the lobby or a meeting room, the desk clerk will be able to direct you. You’ll be able to pick up things like food and bottled water, some toiletries, things like that. I don’t know how much they were able to organize with such short notice but they might have clothes and things as well, you’ll just have to wait and see. Otherwise, they’ll be able to tell you when and where you can pick them up.”

Tessa nodded, her body feeling ice cold despite the fact that it was still around seventy degrees at this time of night. After asking for directions to the motel, she hesitated before inquiring, “What – what about my mother’s – I mean, burial arrangements, that sort of thing.”

The volunteer, a kind but rather brisk woman in her late fifties, gave Tessa’s hand a little squeeze. “Not a pleasant thought to deal with, is it? Your mother’s remains will have been taken to the county morgue by now, I’m sure. Our volunteers will be able to help you with all that over the next few days. For tonight, I’d advise you to try and get some sleep. You’ve had more than enough trauma to deal with already.”

But Tessa knew she’d never be able to sleep, even though the motel room she’d been assigned was on the new side, and that for the first time in years she’d have an actual bed to sleep in instead of a sofa or cot or air mattress. She ignored the boxes of granola bars, cookies, trail mix, and other food she’d been given upon checking in, and brewed herself a cup of tea using the in-room microwave. Drinking it helped to warm her up a bit, but she feared that nothing would be able to ease her anxiety about what would happen to her next. She’d had a lucky break tonight, all things considered, when none of the emergency personnel at the apartment site or the Red Cross volunteers here at the motel questioned her further as to her actual age. But Tessa knew it would only be a matter of days – at best – before the truth would come out, and she shivered anew with dread at what her very limited options would be. A foster home if she was lucky, but it was far more likely that she’d wind up in a group home of some sort. She could only hope that it would be a decent sort of place, and that most of the horror stories she’d heard from shelter residents about them had been greatly exaggerated.

It was well after midnight when she finally fell into an exhausted slumber, worn out from crying and worrying about what the next few days would bring.

“Hey, Tessa, you got a minute? I think I might have some good news for you.”

Tessa looked up from the rack of clothes she’d been restoring order to, and smiled at Michelle Wallace, a co-worker here at her weekend job at Forever 21. “Well, that would certainly be a switch after the last few days. What is it?”

Michelle gave her a reassuring grin. “Well, nothing’s a hundred percent sure yet, so maybe I shouldn’t get your hopes up. But, well, I was telling my mom about what happened to you, with the fire and losing your mother and all that, and she said that maybe you could stay with us. At least, she’d be willing to talk to whoever the people are that arrange the foster care, see what they have to say.”

Tessa was startled at this announcement, the very last thing she’d expected to hear. While Michelle had always been nice to her since she’d begun working here last June, they weren’t technically friends and didn’t even attend the same school. But Michelle had been overwhelmingly sympathetic yesterday when Tessa had tearfully confided in her about the apartment fire and Gillian’s tragic death. This offer to actually live with Michelle and her family, though, had been completely unexpected.

Tessa had been extremely selective about whom she’d confided the whole truth to concerning her current situation. As shocked and devastated as she’d been on Thursday morning - less than twelve hours after learning that she had no mother, no home, no clothes or other belongings – she’d dragged herself to school, fearful that her absence would be noticed and that questions would be asked as a result. And she had desperately needed a few extra days to deal with her grief and loss, and to prepare herself for the bleak future that surely awaited her.

She’d been lucky – if one could use that term to describe her dire situation – that the Red Cross personnel seemed to be focusing on finding new accommodations for the families with young children and the elderly first. Tessa was young and seemingly able to look out for herself for a few more days until the neediest of the displaced apartment residents had been taken care of. She wasn’t about to correct their misinformation, and was more than content to be on her own for as long as possible. After all, she’d been looking out for herself – and her mother – for several years now so her situation was nothing the least bit new.

It had been impossible, however, to hide the fact that her eyes were puffy and red from crying when she’d arrived at her first class on Thursday morning, and Logan had immediately asked her what was wrong when he’d taken the seat beside her.

She’d fought back new tears while telling him about the apartment fire the night before, but had left out the worst part of the story – that of her mother’s death. Tessa didn’t really know Logan, after all, and had no idea who he might innocently repeat her story to – his parents, friends, a teacher – and she’d been all too aware of needing to keep that bit of information to herself for the time being.

Logan had been incredibly sympathetic, and had assured her he understood that she couldn’t really make plans to go out on dates right now, not until she had a permanent place to live. But Tessa knew that a guy as cute and popular as Logan wouldn’t be sitting around waiting for her to get her life in order, and that he’d most likely be asking another girl out sooner than later.

She’d told herself that it was all for the better, really. Tessa had cringed inwardly at the very thought of Logan seeing the rundown little apartment she’d been living in, at seeing how poor she and her mother really were, and at least this way she’d be spared that particular humiliation. Even if it meant giving up yet one more dream – that of going out on a real date with one of the most popular guys in school.

But she had felt fairly safe in telling her co-workers at both of her jobs the whole truth, not particularly worried that any of them would rat her out to social services. The crew at Old Navy, in fact, had even pooled their resources and presented her with a store gift card so that she could begin to replace some of the clothing she’d lost in the fire. Tessa had a sneaking suspicion that it had been the normally introverted Peter who’d initiated the collection, especially given how solicitous he’d been towards her after learning the news.

And when she’d arrived in earlier this morning at her weekend job, her supervisor had quietly handed her a gift card to the store, compliments of the management who’d heard the news about Tessa’s tragedy. Both had been a godsend, since the selection of used clothing the Red Cross had offered the displaced residents had been of little use to her. She certainly didn’t mind wearing used things, having grown used to thrift store and bargain rack clothing for most of her life. But very few of the things that had been available were in her size, or else they had been far more suited to a woman of sixty than to a girl of sixteen.

But it was Michelle’s news that brightened her spirits far more than the promise of new clothes. If it worked out, if Michelle’s mother was really willing to have her live with them and social services gave their approval, it would be the best possible outcome that Tessa could have hoped for.

“That – that would be incredible, Michelle,” replied Tessa almost tearfully. “I can’t believe your mom would do something like that for someone she’d never even met.”

Michelle rolled her eyes. “Well, let’s just say she might have an ulterior motive. She’d definitely want assurance from the foster care people that she’d get paid for taking you in. Do you have any idea how much they might pay her?”

Tessa shook her head. “Not really, no. But even if they didn’t, I could give her some money for staying there from my salary.”

“No, no.” Michelle shook her head emphatically. “Don’t offer to do that, okay? Just some friendly advice. If it turns out that social services will send her money every month, that will be more than enough. My mom is – a leech. She makes a decent salary working at the DMV but she has no idea how to manage money. She’s always borrowing money from me, never pays it back, spends it on stupid stuff. So never offer to give her any because she’ll try to bleed you dry.”

Michelle’s words of caution instantly gave Tessa cause for concern, making her wonder if she really wanted to live in a house with someone like Mrs. Wallace. But the alternatives she could possibly envision didn’t seem much better, so she kept her fingers crossed that it might all work out.

Tessa cringed as the screaming argument Michelle and her mother had been engaged in for the past fifteen minutes escalated to even louder and more volatile heights. It seemed at times that the two of them – along with Michelle’s fourteen year old sister Kimmie – were constantly yelling, threatening, name calling, or crying. Ever since Tessa had moved in here last month, she’d been silently appalled at how horribly the three women treated each other, and she was more than a little uncomfortable living in such an unpleasant atmosphere. As flighty and unpredictable and moody as Gillian had been over the years, she had never, ever raised her voice to Tessa or insulted her or made her feel unloved.

“If you don’t like the way things are run around here, you little bitch, then you can just pack up your shit and get the fuck out right now!” screamed Debbie, Michelle’s mother. “I’ve had just about enough of your crap, Michelle, and I’m not going to put up with it one more day, do you hear me?”

“God, it would serve you right if I did move out!” yelled Michelle. “I hate it here, and I’m counting the days until I turn eighteen and can get the hell out of this place forever! I’m
this
close to calling Dad and asking if I can go and live with him for the next few months.”

Debbie laughed, but it was an ugly, sarcastic sound. “Oh, go right ahead! You’re dreaming if you think he’ll take you in. Never does a goddamn thing for the two of you, never even calls. He doesn’t give a shit about you girls, never did. But if you think living with him is better than being here, be my guest, you ungrateful little bitch.”

The argument went on for several more minutes, with their voices getting louder and the insults more shocking. Tessa tried to block out the sounds, desperately needing to study for yet another geometry quiz in the morning, but it was nearly impossible to ignore what was going on just outside the bedroom she shared with Michelle.

Living here for the past month had been a mixed blessing for Tessa. On the one hand, she’d been grateful to have a roof over her head, a place to sleep and shower every day, and not having to worry about being mistreated in an unknown foster home or bullied by other residents in a group home. She liked Michelle a lot, had become much closer to her since they shared a room, and got along reasonably well with Kimmie.

But, on the other hand, the constant arguments between the two girls and their mother created an extremely tense living environment, and Tessa always felt more than a little on edge. Debbie seemed to merely tolerate Tessa living here, and had never tried to make her feel welcome. Tessa knew that it was only because of the monthly stipend Debbie received from social services for her care that she was allowed to live here.