Crash Landing (2 page)

“It’s incredible,” John breathed. “The most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.”

In fact, the word
amazing
didn’t do it justice. Hyperspace High made
Star Trek
’s
USS
Enterprise
look like a plastic toy spaceship in comparison. John had thought that Wortham Court School looked impressive in its shiny brochure – but this school was in a league of its own.

The chiming sounded again, and the voice said, “Please take your seats for docking.”

John slumped back into the seat. It crossed his mind again that he might have gone mad, but he didn’t
feel
mad. Apart from the whole being-in-space thing, he felt quite normal. Under his breath he muttered, “My name is John Riley, I live at one hundred and twelve Laurel Gardens. I like video games. I have never – not once – worn my pants on my head. I am definitely not mad.”

That left one possibility. This was
real
. He was on a shuttle that was now docking at a vast spaceship on the outer edges of the solar system. His face opened into a huge grin.

Wowsers.

As the shuttle approached, a great door on the side of the spaceship slid open.

The shuttle landed with a light jolt. Gravity returned.

Instantly, the rest of the passengers began babbling.

“Yay, we’re here. I’m off first.”

“Out of my way, Voolon. I want to get the best bed pod in the dormitory.”

“Do you think Ska’s Café has Fettid Jax Fruit this year?”

“That’s
my
bag, Esterlin.”

Ms Vartexia got to her feet. “Please exit the shuttle in a calm and orderly manner and form a queue at Exit Port Beta, where an Examiner will register you,” she ordered, as the door slid open with a faint hiss.

None of the aliens aboard seemed to be paying any attention. They pushed past her shouting and laughing, as they crammed through the door.

She sighed and waited until the crush had passed before reaching up to take her wig and tweed suit from the locker. Catching sight of John, still in his seat, she said sharply, “Please join your fellow students in the queue at Exit Port Beta.” She nodded towards the door. “Examiners do not like to be kept waiting.”

John took a deep breath. “Look,” he said slowly and clearly. “This is
waaay
amazing and everything but, really, I’m supposed to be on a coach to Wortham Court School—”

“In Dar Bee Shur, wherever that is. Yes. So you said. And as I told
you
, Elvians are not known for their sense of humour. Please join your fellow students in the queue at Exit Port Beta.”

“But—”

“I have already made a note of your late arrival. Please leave the shuttle before I make another.”

Seeing that the alien woman wasn’t going to listen, John unclipped his seat belt, grabbed his rucksack and climbed down the steps.

He found himself in a vast, white space. The shuttle had landed at the end of a row of similar craft. They all looked like the gleaming silver coach he had boarded earlier.

“Over there.”

His eyes followed her pointing finger, to where a queue had formed. “Is there anyone else I can talk to?” he asked as he hiked the rucksack up onto his shoulder and started walking.

“If you continue this behaviour, you will very soon find yourself talking to the headmaster.”

“Can’t I speak to him now?”

“Enough! Get in the queue.”

Not knowing what might happen if he made the tall, blue alien angry, John joined the others. The other aliens glanced at him curiously. John peered around them. At the head of the queue was an egg-shaped robot with a round head that blinked a red light as it scanned the new arrivals.
The Examiner
, John thought. It was as white as the ship itself and floated above the floor as though weightless.

Light flickered over the alien boy with the purple hair. “Lishtig ar Steero,” said an electronic, droning voice. “Pass.”

The boy whooped and ran off down the hallway, shouting “First bed pod is
mine
!”

“Kritta Askin-Tarsos,” said the Examiner. “Pass.”

John hopped from one foot to the other nervously, as he waited his turn.

Gradually the queue shrank, until only the black girl with yellow eyes and feelers stood in front of John.

“Queelin Temerate of Bo Four. Pass.”

John stepped forward nervously. The red light scanned his feet and started moving up his body.

John blinked as it passed over his eyes.

A harsh siren began wailing.

“No identification match. Intruder at Exit Port Beta.”

A small door hissed open further down the corridor. John saw another Examiner shoot down the corridor towards him. Lights flashed on its blank face and, at once, a shimmering green haze wrapped itself around John. He felt his feet leave the floor.

Fighting panic, he tried to look towards the Elvian woman, but he couldn’t move his head.

“Force field activated. Intruder neutralized,” the new Examiner said tonelessly. “Access the secondary DNA database.”

Once more a red light swept over John.

There was a short pause, then the first Examinar said, “Human. Male. Native to a sub-B primitive planet called Earth.”

The new Examiner turned slightly towards John. “State your name and purpose,” it said in its cold, electronic voice.

John felt a slight tingling sensation around his head and found that he could move it again. “John... uh... Riley,” he gabbled. “I’m just trying to get to school. Wortham Court School. In Derbyshire.”

From the corner of his eye, John saw Ms Vartexia step forward. “He’s been saying that since we picked him up,” she said. “I thought he was trying to be funny.”

“There’s obviously been a mistake,” John said quickly. “But if you just take me back, I swear I won’t say any—”

“Unauthorized intruder. Procedure: expulsion,” the robot continued, ignoring him.

“That seems—” Ms Vartexia began.

“Affirmative,” the first Examiner interrupted. “Security breach confirmed. Expulsion code initiated. Proceed to Airlock Seventeen.”

“Fine. Go ahead and expel me,” John said, shrugging. But suddenly a terrible thought crossed his mind. “Wait! Hang on a second!” John heard himself shouting. He struggled, but could not get free of the force field that held him in place. “What do you mean by
expulsion
?”

“Oh dear. I can’t help feeling that this is partly my fault, John Uh Riley,” sighed Ms Vartexia. “Sorry.”

“W-what? Why are you s-sorry?” John stammered.

The green force field shimmered around him. As the Examiner moved forward, John floated backward into the shuttle hangar. Exit Port Beta hissed closed. Ms Vartexia waved goodbye.

“Where are you taking me?” John yelled.

The robot did not reply.

Another door opened. John dropped to the floor as it closed behind him.

Free of the force field, he beat his fists against a window, shouting after the Examiner as it skimmed away.

“Airlock Seventeen. Expulsion Code eight five six three. Decompression in five seconds,” said a deeper electronic voice.

John looked over his shoulder. Behind him was a heavy doorway. Through a small window he could see stars beyond.

“Four.”

With growing horror, he realized that the door was going to open. Within seconds he would be expelled out into space.

“Three.”

Frozen with sudden fear, he whispered, “No,” staring wide-eyed at the door.

“Two.”

It began to hiss.

“One.”

John clenched his fists. His knees trembled; his heart thudded against his ribs. This was it: he was going to die.

In a second he would be thrown into space. John remembered learning at school that nothing could live in that cold vacuum. After a few minutes he’d be frozen solid, spinning through the black depths for ever. Thoughts of his mum and dad chased across his mind. They would never know what happened to him. He squeezed his eyes shut, dreading the sound of the airlock opening and the rush of air that would suck him out.

But nothing happened.

A second passed. It felt like an eternity.

“Emergency override activated,” said the deep, electronic voice.

John opened a fearful eye, just in time to see a ball of brightly flashing light pass through the door as if it weren’t there. His other eye opened in shock.

For a moment, the ball hung in mid-air, then suddenly, it expanded. John watched, open-mouthed, as the glittering ball formed into the solid figure of a man. He was of human average height and almost human-looking, aside from the fact that his skin was still faintly glowing. Completely bald, he looked old, but somehow young at the same time. It was his eyes, John realized. His purple eyes twinkled, as if he were enjoying a private joke.

Trembling, John said, “What... I mean,
who
are you?”

The old man tilted his head to one side and regarded John quietly for a moment. Then, with a slight smile, he said, “I am Lorem, the headmaster of Hyperspace High.”

“If you’re the headmaster, then I... I think... that is, I’d like to make a complaint.” John paused, then added, “Sir.”

The strangely glowing headmaster nodded as if he had been expecting just that. But before John could continue, Lorem held up one finger, and said, “Excuse me one moment.”

Looking into Lorem’s face, John had to obey. There was laughter in the headmaster’s sparkling blue eyes, but also a quiet authority that couldn’t be ignored. John closed his mouth.

Lorem turned towards the door. The two Examiners and Ms Vartexia had arrived. “What is going on here?” he asked. His voice sounded perfectly polite but it held a trace of steel. John guessed that the headmaster was annoyed.

“School rule six four two eight B forbids unauthorized personnel on the ship. Procedure: expulsion,” one of the Examiners droned.

“More like being thrown out into space to die,” John muttered.

The Examiners ignored him. The second said, “It is male. Human. A minor, undeveloped species...”

“Hey, humans aren’t undeveloped—” John began.

“School rule eight six seven five C: contradicting Examiners is forbidden. Procedure—”

“Enough,” said Lorem. John and the Examiner both fell silent. Turning back to John, the headmaster raised an eyebrow. “You mentioned a complaint.”

John took a deep breath. “Yes, well, these things tried to kill me. I didn’t ask to be here. I tried to tell Ms... umm, Vartexia... but she wouldn’t listen to me.”

“I’m embarrassed to say that he’s telling the truth, headmaster,” Ms Vartexia admitted. “I was told to expect a Martian prince who would be disguised as a human and we were running a little late for the departure window.” She held her hands up, and said apologetically, “I thought he was trying to joke with me. You know what Martians are like.” She stopped for a moment, then said, “I really am most dreadfully sorry. He says his name is John Uh Riley, if that’s any help.”

Lorem gave her a stern look. “So, Prince Clo-Ra-Ta has been left behind and we have, instead, taken an Earthling called John Uh Riley, breaking several galactic laws about revealing advanced technology to primitive species. The Martian government will not be happy. The Galactic Council will not be happy. Come to think of it,
I
am not happy.”

“It’s just
John Riley
, actually,” John interrupted. “No ‘Uh’. And I’m sorry, but are you saying there are
Martians
, from
Mars
, on Earth?”

The headmaster turned back to him. “Don’t worry. Your planet isn’t being invaded. Martians just like taking holidays there.”

“The royal family is staying in the bed and breakfast at one hundred and fourteen Laurel Gardens, according to my records,” said Ms Vartexia, glancing once again at her thin screen. She seemed nervous. John guessed she was trying to be extra helpful after making such a massive mistake. “Strange place for a holiday, if you ask me, but Martians can be a little... well... odd.”

“But one hundred and fourteen Laurel Gardens is next door to my house!” John spluttered. He remembered the family that had arrived there at the beginning of summer. They
had
been weird. Every time he’d seen them, the parents’ clothes had been badly matched and worn back-to-front or inside-out. He’d once spoken to their son. The skinny, lonely-looking boy had been holding an umbrella on a clear summer afternoon and had asked in a weird accent why John’s skateboard didn’t fly.

“They were
Martians
?” John blurted. “Actual Martians? I thought they’d be, you know, little green men or something. I didn’t think they’d carry umbrellas everywhere.”

“Without the human disguise, Martians are, in fact, a very pleasing shade of orange,” Lorem explained. “And Earth is closer to the sun than Mars. The sunlight on your planet is too strong for them, so they protect themselves from it with portable shade devices. I believe humans call them
um-brel-ahs
and use them to prevent water falling from the sky from soaking their clothing.”

“Wow, I’ve met a Martian prince,” John whistled. “No one will ever believe me when I get back...” He looked at Lorem questioningly. “I
am
going back, aren’t I? You’re not going to chuck me out the airlock, right?”

“No. It appears a genuine mistake has been made. You have my apologies for that, and for the Examiners’ hasty and regrettable actions. They should
not
have tried to expel you.” Lorem shot the two robots a glance. “I’m sure there are rules being broken elsewhere,” he finished.

“Rule breaking will result in disciplinary procedures,” they announced together. Then, to John’s relief, they turned and floated away.

“Can I go home now?” John asked. “I don’t know how I’m going to explain where I’ve been, but if you drop me off where you found me, I can still get Mum to drive me to school. I shouldn’t be too late.”

Lorem met his gaze. John got the feeling he was looking into eyes that had seen things he couldn’t even begin to understand. “I’m afraid it will be a while before you get back to Earth,” the headmaster said sorrowfully. He raised a finger again as John started to protest. “Hyperspace High is a vast vessel moving at many, many times the speed of light. It takes six weeks to make a complete circuit of the galaxy. We cannot simply stop and turn around. It would involve colossal energies and our schedule would be thrown out completely.”

“What about the shuttles? Couldn’t one of them take me?”

“You don’t understand how fast this ship is,” Lorem replied. “We have already passed the star your scientists call
Epsilon Eridani
, which is more than ten light years, or six
trillion
miles, from your sun. A shuttle would take months to cover that distance.”

John gulped. “What now?”

“We will pass your solar system again at the end of this half term. Until then, you will have to stay on board.”

“But when I don’t turn up at school, my parents will be worried sick. The police will start looking for me.”

The headmaster smiled at him. “This ship is equipped with quite astonishing technology,” he said quietly. “It can easily patch into Earth’s communication systems. You will be able to speak to your parents on the telephone or send emails so they think you have arrived at school safely. And I can tell the headteacher of Wortham Court School that you have been taken suddenly ill with some human sickness that will take several weeks to clear up. Ms Vartexia, perhaps you could make yourself useful and suggest a suitable human disease.”

The thin Elvian woman tapped her screen a few times. “It says here that humans often take weeks to recover from something called ‘measles’.”

“There we are. Measles it is,” said the headmaster. “Now, our last problem is what to do with you. You’re a little young to be a teacher, so I think we’ll have to enrol you as a temporary student. The first years are starting their second term but I’m sure you’ll soon catch up.”

John thought for a moment. Though he’d never been a great fan of school, except maths classes, he guessed that space school – a school in actual
space –
would be much,
much
cooler than Wortham Court. For a start, he wanted another go at Zero-G war. And, after all, it would only be for a few weeks.

He grinned. Nodded. “Yeah, that sounds OK.”

Lorem clapped his hands together. “
Excellent
,” he said. “Then that is one problem solved. Ms Vartexia, to which dormitory was Prince Clo-Ra-Ta assigned?”

She tapped her screen again. “Dormitory sixteen, room twelve.”

Something seemed to amuse the headmaster. “Of course,” he chuckled. “That’s perfect. Well, Clo-Ra-Ta won’t be needing it, so if you’d like to come with me, young human, we’ll get you settled in. Ms Vartexia, I’m sure you would like to rest after your eventful trip. Perhaps you’d be so kind as to join me in my office in, say, three hours?”

John followed the glowing headmaster out of the airlock, wondering if the Martian Prince had also boarded the wrong coach and was now on his way to Wortham Court. He pictured the lonely young Martian with his peculiar umbrella and hoped not.
But
if he did get on the wrong coach, at least there’s no danger of him being pushed out of an airlock
,
he told himself.

Now that his life was out of danger, John looked around eagerly. Everywhere was white and spotless. “This is the hangar deck,” Lorem said over his shoulder. “Not terribly interesting, but we’ll have someone give you a full tour of the ship later. Down here, please.”

John followed the headmaster along a bare corridor, a hundred questions bubbling up in his mind. “She’s not in trouble, is she?” he asked first. “It was an honest mistake, really.”

“Ms Vartexia? Oh no. The Martians will grumble, but they are an extremely forgiving people. The prince is going to be more than happy with an unexpected extra holiday, though he missed last term, too. A diplomatic mission to Kantaros with his parents, I believe. We may have to put him back a year... but I’m getting off the point. The Galactic Council are not going to care very much. You’ll tell a few people the truth when you get back to Earth, but no one will believe you. Still, I
am
going to ask Ms Vartexia to be a little more careful in future. She won’t make the same mistake again.”

John frowned. The way Lorem spoke, it sounded as if he already knew what was going to happen. The thought was quickly pushed aside by another question. “Umm, if everyone on board is an alien, why do you all speak English so well?”

Lorem looked back at him again, an eyebrow arched as if to say,
You humans really are primitive aren’t you?
, but he answered politely. “The only person aboard Hyperspace High speaking English is
you
. The ship’s computer automatically translates all known languages into whichever one you understand best. It’s all to do with sound waves. Simple, really. Ah, here we are.”

They had arrived at the end of a corridor. Lorem touched his hand to the wall and a door slid back. John joined him in what he guessed was a lift. “Dormitory sixteen,” said Lorem.

At once, the lift slid away smoothly in a diagonal direction. John opened his mouth to ask another question, but the headmaster was already speaking. “By the way,” he said. “Please don’t use the word
alien
. It means something that doesn’t belong. No one is an alien on Hyperspace High. We all belong here.”

“Sorry,” said John. “I guess there’s a lot I’ll have to get used to.”

Lorem looked at him kindly. “Oh, yes,” he said. “But don’t worry, you’re going to be just fine.”

The lift stopped. “Dormitory sixteen,” said its electronic voice.

As the door slid open, John saw a wide, richly carpeted hall. The lights were dimmer here and the air filled with a soothing smell that was new to John’s nose. In the middle of the hall was a sculpture that looked as though it had been carved from a huge diamond. Lights shining onto it made hundreds of small rainbows. Scattered about were comfortable-looking sofas on which a few students sat chatting.

Each side of the hall was lined with doorways. Lorem quickly walked over to one and held up a hand. The door made a soft chiming sound. A moment later, it slid open.

John took a step back. Despite all the strange things he’d seen, he couldn’t stop himself gasping in shock.

Standing in the doorway was a massive figure straight out of a nightmare. Easily two and a half metres tall and heavily muscled, its skin was bright green and its eyes deep red. Over its shoulders, John could see black wings folded on its back.

A demon. It’s a real, live demon.

For the second time that day, John felt his heart thudding against his chest in terror.

The creature’s mouth opened, revealing wickedly sharp fangs. With a rustle of leathery wings, the demon fixed him with its crimson gaze and advanced towards him menacingly.