Crazy Dreams (18 page)

The problem was, I didn’t believe it. He
was
worth it. He left me, though. He was the one who walked away, the one who decided he couldn’t even tell me the truth of how he felt to my face. It was infuriating.

It was Labor Day weekend, the tour was going great, and I was quickly becoming a known name.
Heaven Sent
was dead, and the fans loved
Ember Daniels
. It didn’t feel real at all. Of course, I let them change me a bit in the weeks that I’d been running as a solo artist. The heavy makeup they forced me to wear at shows became my public face. People hardly recognized me without all the makeup, so when I went out in public, I had to keep my fake face on for fans. No one liked to be seen without their makeup, according to Emily.

I discovered that my idea of fashion was totally different from the people who dressed me. I was no longer allowed to choose my own outfits, which really didn’t matter to me anymore. After Stone left, I was a shell of myself. I let the people running the show run my life, down to what I wore every time I went in public, even if I was just going out for a jog.

I missed the way things were before the whole thing started. I had a body guard outside my door, and more than anything, I wanted to get away, even for just a few minutes. I went into the bathroom, removed all my makeup, and then dressed in an old pair of jeans and one of my favorite tank tops. I no longer looked like
Ember Daniels, country music rising star
. Instead, I just looked like plain ‘ole Ember from Maine.

I ducked out of my room, paid the body guard an ungodly amount of money to stay put. I convinced him by arguing that no one would even recognize me, let alone try to mob me. He took one look at my ratty jeans and agreed, letting me go on my way.

I slipped down to the hotel bar, where I was served alcohol. They never even checked my ID, which worked out in my favor. A man about six or eight years older than me sat down beside me, offered to buy me a drink and I accepted.

“I’m Drew,” he introduced himself.

“E,” I said, barely remembering not to say my real name.

“E?”

“Yeah, it’s what my friends call me.”

He smiled. “Well then, I’m happy to meet you, E. What brings you to Charleston?”

I thought for a second, deciding to go with the truth. “I’m here for the big country concert. How did you know I’m not from around here?”

“Makes sense. You’re alone, in a hotel bar, in the middle of a busy city. I just made the assumption. Not to mention you’ve got a Yankee accent. How long are you sticking around?”

He was cute enough, with light brown hair and brown eyes. I should feel something,
anything
, about him, but instead, I found my thoughts straying to Stone, wondering what he was doing back in Nashville. Did he take that camping trip we’d been planning? Was he happy? I couldn’t force myself to stop thinking about him.

“Are you single?” Drew asked. He was more forward than I imagined he would be. I was willing to bet he thought I was already drunk and lonely.

“Yeah,” I answered, my voice void of emotion.

He grinned. “That makes me very happy.” He slid his arm around the back of my barstool, his fingers tugging lightly on my hair.

I told myself it wasn’t a big deal. Men had one-night stands all the time. There was no shame in me doing it.
Right?

“It makes me happy, too,” I said, leaning into his touch. His hand went up to my neck, gently massaging it. It felt good, I couldn’t lie, but it didn’t feel
right
. In my head, I imagined it was Stone’s hand touching me. I closed my eyes and there he was, all brawn and
chiseled
muscles, his blue-green eyes staring into mine. He loved me again, wanted me to come back to him. Lips touched mine and I responded, opening my mouth while I kept my eyes closed, still seeing Stone.

After a few minutes of kissing, Drew pulled away. “Let’s go back to my room.”

As much as I thought I might want to, I knew I’d never be able to go through with it. I wanted Stone, not this guy. I swallowed the hard lump in my throat. “I’m sorry, Drew, I can’t do that.”

His dark eyes flashed. “So you’re just going to get me hard and turn me down? What the fuck?”

I flinched at his words. I was nothing more than a cocktease in his eyes. “I’m so sorry. I actually just got out of a very complicated relationship. I thought I might be able to do this, but I just can’t.”

He let out a sigh. “I get it. Well, nice meeting you.” He got up, taking his drink to a booth in the back where two ladies sat alone.

I had to laugh at his perseverance. He wanted to get laid and wasn’t going to stop until he did. I chuckled as I finished up my drink. I ordered another and thought about Stone some more. He was the center of my life, unfortunately. Every thought I had had something to do with him, something to do with something he’d said to me, or something I felt about him.

  I wanted to forget him. Lord knows I tried. But he had dug his way into my heart and made camp, refusing to leave. I was feeling buzzed and pulled my phone out. I wanted to text him, but instead, I opened up Facebook to stalk him a little. To my surprise, we were no longer friends. It had been a week or two since I’d even opened social media, so I had no idea when he unfriended me. I felt deflated, like he was distancing himself from me as much as he could. Tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to fall.

I blinked them away as I scrolled through his profile. He was moving on. In fact, he had just checked into the bar where he and I sang our first set together. The status said he was getting drunk. My shoulders slumped. He was having a blast in his new life while I was still hanging on to our old life. I missed him like crazy.

Living the country star dreams wasn’t as fulfilling as I imagined it would be, especially not when I didn’t have him to share it with. I downed the rest of my drink, left a tip for the bartender and went back to my room, so I could properly feel sorry for myself and let the tears flow.

Thirty-One

Stone

I was barely living. Last night, I spent hours at the bar, trying to erase the pain she caused me. I liked to blame her, but the truth was, I was responsible. I should have called her out. Maybe we would have been able to work things out, maybe then I wouldn’t be miserable. It was too late now. She was living the high life while I suffered.

My life was a mess. I was back to working for the magazine company, though I only did the bare minimum to keep my apartment. I didn’t want to move back in with Dallas, and I knew he didn’t want me back, especially after Ember and I broke up.

I was sitting in my living room, sipping a vodka and cranberry, in nothing but my boxers when the doorbell rang.

I got up to answer it, not even caring that I was one article of clothing away from being naked. It didn’t matter.

“Hey, Stone,” Dallas greeted me and then looked down. “Jeez, man, will you put on some pants?”

I stepped away from the door, not bothering to invite him in. “What’s the point?”

“The point is,” he answered, stepping over the mess in the entryway, “that you’ll at least look like a decent human being. What the hell is the matter with you?”

“Didn’t Ember tell you?”

He sat on the chair next to the couch. “She’s not telling me anything. She’s ignored every call, every text for the last few weeks. When I saw her on stage alone, I figured something happened.”

“I figured she would have told you how awful I am,” I muttered, taking another swig of my drink.

“She’s not like that,” Dallas defended her.

I glared at him. “You don’t know what she’s like or what she’s capable of.”

“Will you fucking tell me what happened already? Christ, this is driving me nuts!”

I pondered whether or not to tell him for a minute and then decided to tell him everything. “Ember got offered a solo contract. And she agreed to take out. I bailed out before they could fire me. End of story.” It was the Reader’s Digest version.

“Wait. She took the contract? She never even wanted to be in show business,” Dallas scoffed.

“I guess she changed her mind.”

“That doesn’t sound like Ember at all.” He sounded incredulous.

“I would’ve said the same thing a month ago. But I heard her talking to Mallory and Gabby myself. And they encouraged her to ditch me, to go after what she wanted.”

He leaned back in the chair, thoughtful. “It just doesn’t make any sense. The two of you were dating, you were great together, and you were both doing something that made you happy. Why would she do that to you?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, thank you for that run-down of my life. And now I’m miserable while she lives out my dream. Life’s a bitch, huh?”

“Are you sure that’s what happened? I feel like there’s something missing.”

“The proof is in her actions, Dallas. She’s not exactly blowing up my phone with calls and texts. I think the worst part is that I told her I loved her.”

His eyes widened. “You did?”

“Yeah,” I laughed. “She took that love and squashed it, though.”

“So you’re saying you don’t love her anymore?” He seemed far too curious about it for my liking, but what did I care?

“No. I can’t exactly turn it off like that. I’m still madly in love with her. But it’s over. And someday, I’ll move on. Maybe…”

“This is a really shitty situation. Obviously, she’s my sister, kind of, and I should stick up for her, but if she did what you say she did, I can’t exactly blame you for leaving. I would have done the same thing. I’m sorry,” he muttered, his voice laced with disbelief.

I had trouble believing it, too, some days. She was far too sweet and innocent to be so deceiving. I was a fool for falling for her.

“If you’re done, I’d like to be left alone,” I grumbled when he stuck around.

He nodded. “Listen, you’re a good guy, Stone. The right girl will come along and you’ll forget about Ember. Don’t let this one instance ruin you for love.”

“Are you kidding me? You’re a huge playboy and you’re telling me not be so skeptical of love? Are you seeing someone?” I asked.

His cheeks turned red. “Yeah.”

“No shit. Someone finally wrangled Texas?” It was a nickname he told me about once, one his college buddies gave him. Apparently, there were a lot of ways to take the nickname, but I focused on the relativity to his name and not the size of the
Lonestar State
or his dick.

He laughed. “Kind of. It’s been one hell of a summer.”

“You can say that again,” I agreed.

“Maybe I should talk to her,” he suggested, changing the subject back to
Ember and me
.

“No! It’s over. She’s made her choice,” I told him.

“But maybe she doesn’t realize –”

“Dallas. Stop. She chose the industry over me. I’m not going to put up a fight. She’s made her choice.”

“Alright. Well, I’ll let you get back to wallowing in self-pity,” he said with a laugh.

“Fuck you.”

“It’s good to know you’ve got at least a little spirit left. I’ll see you soon,” he said and then ducked out before I could throw him out.

Labor Day weekend was a holiday I wasn’t going to enjoy. I just wanted to skip ahead to when my heart no longer hurt.

Thirty-Two

Ember

I woke up on Saturday to an odd text.

Dallas: You need to call me. It’s urgent
.

I sat up, still barely awake and dialed his number. He answered on the first ring.

“Hey, I’m glad you called. I find it a little upsetting that the only way to get you to call me back is to tell you it’s urgent.”

“Is something actually wrong?” I asked, pushing my hair off my shoulder.

“No.”

“Then why the hell did you have me call you?”

“Uhh, I miss you?” he said and I could hear the grin in his voice.

“What do you want, Dallas?”

He paused. “I talked to Stone last night.”

“Ugh. Don’t even mention him to me. I want nothing to do with him. He left me,
alone
, in a city I barely know, and he didn’t even bother to tell me that he was leaving, or why. He abandoned me and his dream.”

Dallas took a deep breath. “Actually, he didn’t.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I’ll explain, but I need you to promise to let me finish, okay?”

“Sure,” I agreed. I didn’t really want to listen, but I knew he’d bug me until I did, so it was better for me to just listen first. I could always hang up on him later, if I needed to.

“First of all, when you got offered the solo contract, you should have talked to Stone about it. He probably would have been happy for you. It’s bullshit that he had to hear it from you telling Mal and Gabby. I’ll have a completely separate chat with them later, but for now, Stone should have been the first person you told. And since when do you want a country career? Stone’s been working toward that future for the better part of his life and you waltz in, join him and then steal it away like some common thief. What the hell?”