Crazy, Undercover, Love (27 page)

‘What did you do?’ I ask breathlessly, wanting him to say he punched Tony in the mouth, defending my honour. But he’s too controlled for that and there’s still the reputation of the company and family to uphold.

His smile gleams with a hundred per cent satisfaction. ‘I had him thrown out, removed by security. He won’t be working for me again. It’s over.’

Nodding, I extract myself from his arms and his shadow, where he’s blocking the light from the building behind him. ‘You corroborated my version of events,’ I conclude, ‘and you feel responsible for his conduct because he was one of your employees.’ I kick my foot in the powdery snow. ‘You’ve done your bit. Well … Thank you.’

Stepping in, lifting my chin with a chilly finger, he speaks clearly and with care. ‘Now I know without a doubt you were telling the truth, that what I felt was true. And although I don’t agree with what you set out to do that weekend, I can understand why you were so desperate. It wasn’t until I heard him say it all that it became real to me. What you’d lost, how you were treated, how awful it was for you.’

I slide my chin from his touch. ‘Thanks, I appreciate you saying that,’ I mutter half-heartedly. I should be happy Tony’s paying the price for his behaviour, glad I now have closure and have been vindicated. But I feel nothing. It’s all bitter grey ashes in my mouth. I’ve already lost everything. It’s too late. ‘It was good of you to come,’ I say flatly. ‘You can go now.’ Stepping around him, I point out Lisa, who’s appeared in the pub doorway, ‘Your time’s up anyway.’ I wave at her to let her know I’m coming in and she tips her chin in acknowledgement, retreating inside.

‘Hang on!’ Just as I think I’m safe Alex grabs my sleeve and swings me round, pulling us together until we’re chest to chest, face to face. He’s shaking and I start to feel a little sorry for him. That’s why I don’t pull away. It is. Running gentle fingers down my face, he smooths a thumb over my cheekbone. ‘I’m not done.’

‘Alex—’ I sigh, ‘Please don’t.’

‘I know it’s taken too long for me to tell you, and I’m sorry. But there are reasons. Layla … ’

‘What about her?’ I ask, teeth starting to chatter.

‘I was going to tell you about her, I promise. I thought I had more time.’ He pulls me closer and I can’t pull away. ‘That day, I saw Tony in the morning and was supposed to finally sign the divorce papers. We’d agreed joint custody, with a court order in place alongside it. I planned to tell you about Tony that evening and about Layla in due course, once  …  I wanted to celebrate my divorce – and freedom – with you. Go on proper dates, explore what was happening between us. I needed to know if you would even be interested in me any more, coming as part of a package deal.’ I open my mouth to answer but he shushes me. I let him, because after feeling so bleak for so long, some of the colour is starting to seep back into my world. ‘You’re so focused on rebuilding your career, and I know you want to go travelling at some point, so I wasn’t sure. But I would have found a time to tell you properly. You need to believe that.’ His blue eyes gaze into mine and I can read the conviction in them.

I nod, wrapping my hands around his wrists. They’re still hot despite the freezing temperature. ‘So tell me what happened.’

He expels a breath, another vaporous cloud. ‘Louise wouldn’t sign. Got really angry. Wouldn’t accept there was no settlement and claimed the maintenance I was going to pay her for Layla wasn’t enough. I called her bluff and she walked out.’ He shakes his head, scowling. ‘I was frantic, was thinking, this is
never
going to end, I’m not going to see my daughter grow up and I will never be free of Louise. I went home and got changed and was expecting you and was in a complete sodding mess because of my bloody ex and then she turned up and left Layla with me.
If you want our brat that badly you can have her.'

‘What? Just like that? Turnaround of the century!’

‘She wasn’t going to get the money she wanted and she told me Layla just got in her way anyway.’

‘That’s vile.’

‘You’ve got it,’ he nods, expression outraged. ‘I didn’t have time to think, the flat wasn’t childproofed at all, I thought I had a few weeks to sort that out, and then you—’

'Turned up to talk.'

‘I panicked,’ he admits, shivering. ‘I didn’t know what to deal with first, or what I was going to do about work. I was completely unprepared. All I knew was, after years of fighting and conflict, I had my daughter, however temporarily. But I’m really sorry you got the raw end of the situation.’

I nod. It makes sense. I squeeze his wrists. ‘You love her, she’s your kid. You had to put her first and you didn’t know how to do that without putting me last. I get that.’

‘So you can also accept I’d do anything to protect her and make her happy?’

This is where he gives me the brush-off. Backing out of his reach. ‘Of course I do.’

‘Especially now she’s going to be living with me permanently.’ His voice holds a mixture of trepidation and joy as he pulls me back to him.

‘You’ve got full custody?’

‘Yes. It’s done. Louise has signed, I’ve signed, it’s been filed.’

‘Did she decide Layla’s better off with you?’

He laughs. ‘Not exactly.’

‘What then?’

He shudders, yanks me closer for warmth. ‘God, it’s cold. Layla was cramping her style. She’s on the hunt for a new man.’

‘But won’t she just ask for her back when she’s landed hubby number two?’

‘No.’ Alex shakes his head.

I frown. ‘How can you be so sure?’

‘I paid her off.’

‘Huh?’ I’m shocked. I thought Alex would be the last person to give in to emotional blackmail.

He quirks an eyebrow, reading my thoughts. ‘I know. Everything in me said not to. But I sat down and thought about it. Really thought. I didn’t want to pay her off because she deceived me, hurt my pride, hurt me. But at the end of the day, I have the money. And it’s not that I’m buying my daughter, I’m simply paying to protect her. Layla’s well-being is more important than my pride.'

‘Good for you. I’m so pleased. So, will Louise get access rights?’

‘No.’ His lips look a little blue and a shard of guilt scratches at me. ‘She doesn’t want any.’

‘What? How can she bear to be away from her own child? Layla’s still practically a baby.’

‘Louise is fond of her but I don’t think the bond’s there. She’s too selfish to be a good mum. In a way, this is her putting Layla first. With me, our daughter will have stability. And Layla needs that now, especially after being carted around all these years. Which is why I thought long and hard about what a certain beautiful red-head once told me about only having one chance at this world and changing my situation if I could. So I talked to my parents.’ He tips his head forward, heated blue eyes running over my face. ‘I’m going to be relinquishing some of my duties – most of them in fact – so I can cut down on travelling.’

‘You are? You talked to them about it. You did it. And do you feel guilty?’

‘No, strangely not as much as I thought. It’s funny what you can do when you have the right motivation.’

‘And Layla is yours.’

‘Yes. But I also told them how I felt. How relentless it is. How unhappy I’ve been.’

I smile in disbelief. ‘And did your dad keel over from a heart attack?’

Alex smiles back, rubbing my cheekbone again. I go gooey. I’ve missed him, against all of my better intentions. ‘No. My father is alive and well. He understood, battled with the same feelings himself. I never knew because he always hid it so well.’

‘And your mum?’

He laughs wryly, shaking his head. ‘It was amazing. She just smiled at me like I’d done something to make her really proud. My brother Kristian is going to be given a senior role and do most of the travelling. He’s more than pleased about it.’

‘He is?’ He’s never told me much about him, but I got the impression from the gossip mags he was one of those European playboys. The kind of guy I mistook Alex for when I first met him. I was so wrong.

‘Yes,’ he sighs, frustrated. ‘I never knew. I didn’t realise how jealous he’s been of me. I thought he liked his freedom but he’s been bored for a long time. It’s interesting what you find out when you stop and talk to people. Really talk.’

‘People can surprise you if you let them,’ I agree, easing away from him. ‘So what are you going to do?’

‘I’m going to head up community projects, including an apprenticeship programme. In the UK. That’s why I didn’t track you down sooner, I’ve been sorting everything out for handover and I wanted to see you once it was all done.’

‘You’ll be brilliant.’ I avoid his last comment. It sounds like he has it all figured out. Something I’m further away from than I have ever been. What am I still doing out here with him? He hasn’t offered me anything. He hasn’t told me he wants to be with me. He’s talked about protecting Layla. Now I need to protect myself. ‘Well, I should go. Thanks for apologising. I understand Layla’s your priority. I hope it all works out for you.’ Dejected, I move away and crunch through the snow towards the door.

‘Wait! I want you to meet Layla,’ he blurts.

I whip around, slipping in the snow, arms windmilling. I try to get my balance but Alex is already there, arms wrapped around my waist to steady me.

‘You do?’ I squeak. Something in his eyes makes me jerk. I lose my footing again, lurch sideways and we scramble for purchase together. He plants his feet wide, braces me.

‘Yes. She’s the most important person in my life.’

‘I totally respect that.’ I lean back in his arms carefully. ‘So why do you want me to meet her?’

‘I’d like there to be two important people. And to be clear, you’re the other one.’

‘I am?’ Wonder holds me still and I feel something tiny and cold land on my cheek. I don’t brush it away, too fixed on Alex’s face. He is so close, long eyelashes damp, jaw starting to stubble over.

‘I know that me having Layla isn’t what you signed up for. I didn’t feel I could tell you sooner … I know I’ve sprung her on you. And that’s not fair—’

‘Layla’s not a deal-breaker, Alex.’

‘So will you come with me and meet her?'

‘I’m not sure.’ He’s told me lots in the last ten minutes but not the most important thing of all. How does he feel about me? ‘When?’

‘Now.’

‘Now?’ I make a show of looking around for her in the churned up snow. ‘Well she’s not tiny enough to fit in your pocket, so where is she? In the car?’

‘No, she’s too young for that. She’s with your parents.’

Leaning back further in his muscular arms, I risk our balance. ‘You’re joking!’

‘No.’

‘But you’re so protective of her. You don’t even know them and neither does she.’

‘I didn’t plan to be gone long and they have my mobile if there are any problems.’ He pauses, jeopardises our safety by unwrapping one arm from my middle to brush my fringe out of my eyes. ‘And I trust them because they raised a wonderful daughter.’

‘Oh.’ It’s cheesy but something catches in my throat.

‘I needed to see you, but I couldn’t bring her here in case this went wrong.’

He isn’t sure of me. ‘Sounds like you have this parenting thing sorted,’ I say lightly.

‘Maybe, but it would be nice to have some help. I’m not asking you to be her parent.’ So, what is he asking? ‘At least, not straight away,’ he tags on quickly. ‘But I am asking you to be with us, if you can forgive me for the clumsy way I handled everything that night at the flat.’

‘Be with you? Why exactly?’ There is so much hope and fear inside me I feel like my heart is too big for my chest, tears glazing my eyes as I ask the ultimate question.

He laughs and kisses me. ‘Because I love you, clumsy.’ He kisses me again, hot and hard, then pulls back to gaze into my eyes, ‘You have my absolute trust and respect. I will always support you in doing whatever makes you happy. As long as you do it with me.’ Those are the perfect words, the very ones I needed to hear. ‘I’ve made some mistakes, I don’t think either of us is covered in glory, but—’

With a yell of delight, I push off the ground, knocking us both over into the snow, falling on top of him. Kneeling up, I undo my coat, open it to share my warmth with the guy I love, lying down full length along him. ‘Shut up, Alex,’ I order, happier than I have been in an aeon, covering his gorgeous face in kisses, planting a sloppy one on his mouth, ‘just stop talking! Yes, we’ve both made mistakes.’ If he can say it, I can be brave enough to as well, ‘But I love you too.’ I stare deep into his eyes, starting to work my hands inside his suit jacket to run them over his sexy, strong, freezing body. He must really love me to have stood outside in this weather for so long. Poor man. ‘I love you,’ I whisper ‘and I’d rather be with you than without.’

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I grab handfuls of his thick dark hair and drop my mouth to his for a long, hot, involved kiss. I think I hear someone arrive at one point and the front door of the pub swing open with a creak and I’m pretty sure I hear giggling but then Alex’s kiss drags me back down to my own private idea of bliss.

When we surface at last, panting and burning despite the snow, Alex tightens his fingers around my hips, as if afraid to let go, ‘I’ll be seeing to it you get compensation for unfair dismissal as well as notice pay.’

I push myself up, climb off him and hold out my hand, avoiding the statement. ‘Come on, you’re soaked through.’

Grasping my hand, he hauls himself up and for once I’m not clumsy, I stand firm. ‘Charley? Did you hear what I said?’

‘I’m not sure how I feel about it,’ I reply, mixed emotions running through me, ‘what will people think of me getting a pay-off when they find out we’re together?’

‘It’s what you’re entitled to,’ he points out with calm logic. ‘Both panels got it wrong. We’ll do it all properly through HR and Legal, with a proper agreement, meaning it’ll all be confidential.’

Biting the inside of my cheek, I mull it over. ‘And you’re not worried this is all part of my plan?’

‘No!’ He kisses me softly, pulling back to gaze into my eyes. ‘It’s the right thing for the company to do. But… um…’ he rubs the back of his neck, ‘I should probably tell you that even with the confidentiality clause, there’s still a risk it’ll all come out.’