Crest (Ondine Quartet Book 3) (43 page)

A terrible pain flooded my chest.

Renee
.

I reached for her and she flinched, head bowing in fear.

What she'd told me about seeing the world, fighting alongside me in New York.

Her face flushed in triumph as she declared it the best day of her life.

All faded like the memories of her father. My parents, Ryder, and soon, Marcella.

She was gone.

This is wrong.

"It is as it has always been."

No.

Body shook with the effort to contain my fury.

There was a time when unmated ondines remained on land.

The words came unbidden. No matter what I'd insisted, the seeds of possibility inspired by Aubrey's discovery had already taken root.

Jourdain tilted her head and floated closer. I resisted the urge to move away.

"This matters to you?" Her voice indicated puzzlement.

I froze.
Is it true?

"Yes."

Such a simple answer that shattered everything.

The single most important edict ondines were taught about our heritage hadn't always existed.

No one knew about this.

It wasn't mentioned in any history books or taught in any class. Aubrey had only come across an obscure text hidden away in the Selkie Palace.

"One can never truly escape the past,
sondaleur
. The past belongs to all of us."

Incredulous, I stared at her. How could she expect us to take responsibility for a past we didn't know?

You keep knowledge from us.

She didn't reply to my accusatory tone.

I pressed.
How can we be part of a past we don't know? How can I end a war if I don't know the truth of our origins?

"You dare question what I believe is right for my children?"

The commanding tone made several dessondines quiver in fear.

I don't question your intent for our future. I question what we understand about our past.
 

A sharp spike of magic stabbed my gut. I bent over, pain erupting everywhere as ferocious energy seared through my cells.

Jourdain drifted closer and rested a translucent webbed hand against my cheek.

"Very well,
sondaleur
." Onyx eyes gleamed. "If you wish to know the truth, let me tell you my story."

***

There was a boy.

He fell into a lake on a spring day long ago. Unable to navigate the waters as we do, he floundered and the life within him slowly ebbed.

I'd long been curious about those who lived above water. Humans, with their ephemeral mortality and clever inquisitive minds, were particularly intriguing.

They lived without magic but were able to form strong connections and commitments to each other and their world.

I did not wish to see this mortal life extinguished, especially at such an early age. I rescued him and in doing so, revealed some of my magic.

Initially, he fled in fear, terrified of me and this power he couldn't understand.

But he returned the following day and asked me to show him more.

He was enthusiastic, displaying a kind of affection I'd never encountered. Captivated by the world and magic I described, he promised to visit every day.

For many human years, we met daily. I became his closest friend and confidante, the constant presence accompanying him on his journey from charming boy to handsome man.

The time span felt long to him. But for me, our acquaintance was the briefest intake of a breath.

Every ounce of my being focused on this mortal.

I dreamed we could forever be together, always endlessly fascinated by the other.

Intoxicated by him, I grew careless. I began ignoring the duties Original Magic had tasked me. The balance I maintained with my opposite faltered.

Soon, the frequency of his visits lessened. When he did come, he was distracted and less enthused by my magic.

Then one day he simply stopped coming.

So I began to visit him.

You see, I'd experimented over the years. I'd noticed every detail of his movements, the way his body glowed with a vitality different from our magic.

I'd learned to reshape myself into a similar mortal form so I could stay for brief periods of time on land.

Every night I visited him in this form and delighted in his presence.

I sang to him of our love, invited him to come with me. Ease my loneliness and enjoy the marvels of our elemental world.

He watched me silently from his room, his world. Always with a sadness I never quite understood.

One day, he finally spoke. He said he had chosen to spend the rest of his life with another. A human like him.

I, who rules water elementals and maintains the balance of this world, had been shunned by a mortal.

The pain was unlike anything I'd experienced. And unlike the memories and experiences that quickly drift away, it stayed.

The thought of facing all of immortality with this hurt was too much to bear.

I fled.

When I returned beneath the waters, a greater danger awaited me.

All those years I'd spent in love with my human male had created an imbalance.

Original Magic intended for me to be the Shadow's mate. Together, we were to produce an intricate harmony of life.

The Shadow had waited, loving me while I loved another. He hoped I'd eventually return but when I finally did I was inconsolable.

For the first time in an immortal life, a mortal man and a mortal pain consumed me.

And with each passing moment, the love the Shadow had transformed into something monstrous.

I'd shoved our union out of balance by going outside what fate and duty intended and it drove him mad.

Unaware of the signs of his deterioration, I blindly continued to nurture my broken heart. Wanting to preserve the love I had for humans, I created you, my children.

Ondines combined my magical heritage with the best parts of the human male I'd loved. I imagined you would've been the children he and I produced.

I wanted you to live among those on land and be what I could not.

For the Shadow, this was the final act of betrayal. He believed I had chosen everyone - my children, my human love - over the love he had for me.

And so he built his own children, ones that transformed the humans I loved into an unnatural horror. Fueled by hatred, he created the very opposite of what I'd longed for.

She fell silent.

Finally, the truth.

A war because two immortal beings could not escape the flaws of mortal love.

Love turns to hate. Passion into obsession. Joy into pain.

The Shadow had spoken of himself in the Lyondale factory.

Jourdain removed her hand.

"You are the first and last,
sondaleur
."

Original Magic said the same phrase during my trial.

What does that mean? I am the first and last of what?

"Of this war."

I'd come across several interesting facts researching the history of Redavi in New York. Part of the reason our family stayed in power for so long was because we were known as the first Redavi.

I'm the last Irisavie.

Glossy eyes stared without inflection. No sympathy, no care.

Realization dawned, its weight pressing down on my chest.

The first ondine Jourdain created was an Irisavie. She'd given her the first Virtue of Empath, the magic necessary to assimilate among humans.

It was the act that broke the Shadow.

The Irisavies were not only the first Redavi, but also the ondines at the start of the war. And in an ironic twist executed by the bitch known as Fate, I'd now be the last ondine standing at the end of it.

The dessondine that had once been Renee floated closer, mesmerized by Jourdain's shimmering magic.

It didn't make sense. If she created us in the hopes we'd have what she couldn't, why call us back?

You once allowed us to remain mortal. Why did you change that?

"You are not the only one who must sacrifice,
sondaleur
."

My mother's words echoed again and I remembered the ache of learning to accept I couldn't have what others had.

It was one thing to know the reason for the sacrifice. But what were Renee and other ondines giving up their mortality for?

Aubrey said the recall process started after the war. The only thing that changed around the same time was the birth of the demillir race.

A result of the union between an ondine and human, demillirs didn't exist prior to the war. And once elementals realized their physical and mental aptitude for battle, they'd trained them to become chevaliers.

Ondines then had a new race to choose from because mating with a demillir produced more of them.

Pieces clicked together. Only one reason existed for their race.

Soldiers.

Thick, choking horror gripped me.

Ondines mated with humans and produced demillirs because you needed soldiers for the war.

"It was the only choice. Selkies are great warriors, but there were not enough of them to protect ondines and fight Aquidae. Reinforcements were necessary."

How many people had been bred to die? How many elementals blindly served in a war no one remembered the cause of?

The recall process now made perfect sense. When ondines didn't play nice, when we didn't fulfill our duty of mating with a human or demillir, we were forced to give up our life and spend eternity easing Jourdain's loneliness.

It was an ultimatum. Do your duty and mate correctly or you lose your mortality.

Icy rage surged through me. Ondines were no better than her play dolls.

You have us fight this war because you screwed up. Because you couldn't get what you wanted.

Power boomed through the water. Vibrations rattled the wall of ice and the dessondines fled.

"How dare you speak to me in that way. I created the ondine race. I gave you children life — "
 

A life that is conditional!
 

Energy tore around us, nipping at my skin like snake bites.

"Do not presume to question —"

You claim ondines are your children, yet you treat them no better than your personal breeding slaves.

Magic thrashed against skin, snapping my Virtue's connection to the water.

Soothing, pleasant sea turned deadly in an instant.

Currents shoved, tumbling me back in an uncontrollable series of flips.

Water rushed up my nose. Lungs burned.

Panicked, I jerked up. Arms clawed and muscles screamed. Kicking hard, I pushed toward the water's surface.

Heart hammered against my breastbone.

Air. Need air.

Black spots colored the edge of my vision. Cells cried out for oxygen.

With a sudden forceful thrust, water spewed me out as if vomiting me from its depths.

I slammed on to the shallow waters a few feet from shore.

Strong arms yanked me up to the gravel bed. Lungs seized and I coughed violently, water scraping my throat.

"What the hell, Kendra?" Dax slapped my back which just made it worse.

Magic whipped around us in a frenzy. Night darkened as swaths of clouds suddenly covered the blanket of stars.

Rain fell, the occasional drops quickly become a torrential downpour saturating the kingdom.

As light above, so dark below.

"I'm guessing you pissed Jourdain off."

No shit. She just tried to drown me.

Dax frowned, concern reflecting in the grey flecks of his eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I croaked.

Exhausted, I sprawled on my back and breathed. Rain flowed over my skin, its fresh metallic scent carrying the aching memory of Marcella.

I wasn't okay. Not even close.

Because I'd learned elementals really weren't that different from Aquidae after all.

GARDINELS SESSIONS WERE OVER, BUT elites continued an unofficial morning regimen with Ewan and Adrian.

Our return to Haverleau was in a few days and chevalier induction trials were in a month. Julian had yanked us out at the most crucial time.

I strode through the palace entrance, irritable and exhausted.

I'd pummeled Cam and Blaise for the past hour in an effort to stop thinking. But my mind refused to cooperate.

Renee's recall and my subsequent encounter with Jourdain left me in a permanently foul mood. The miserable pouring rain didn't help, either.

In the short time I'd been here, I'd somehow managed to piss everyone off.

Tristan still wasn't talking to me. Julian hadn't returned since the fiasco at the Áimoni. Jourdain tried to drown me. Fujio, upset over Renee and furious over the recent Rosamund murder, snapped at me for not finding the traitor yet.

Ancelin, Dax, most of the selkies, and the entire conference delegation were furious at me over the ondine presentation.

I'd wanted to prove what was possible and unite everyone toward a common purpose. Instead, I'd fueled existing dissent and created a divide that might be impossible to overcome.

This morning, I'd awoken with fear lodged in the pit of my stomach. I had to find some way out of this mess.

South wing corridor was still and empty this morning. Infirmary doors opened and a pale Catrin stepped out.

Anxiety rose and I halted. "Is everything okay?"

"Kendra." She softly exhaled and gave a wan smile. "Helene is having some difficulties. Daniel's taking care of her."

Probably sedated her for shock like he did with Lucas.

Weariness lined Catrin's beautiful face. But worse was the haunted emptiness in her eyes.

Morning sky cast pink rays across the stone pathways of the courtyard. We walked in silence, lost in a pool of thoughts too raw to put into words.

"Thank you for being there last night," she finally said. "Renee admired you very much."